157 Comments
Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

What a collection today! Woof!

re: Javier Milei at Davos: everybody who's seen "Butch Cassidy" knows the first process in a knife fight is to kick your opponent in the balls. Milei went right into the thick of those bastards and gave them a swift Paul Newman in the gonads. Yessssssss!!!! Do it again!!!

re: Harriet speaking jive. I saw "Airplane" in the theater when it first ran. Nearly peed my pants, and it's just as funny today.

re: trannies can get preggers. My stepdaughter was always a little crazy, and at six announced to her parents at the breakfast table that she was really a boy named Rob. Her parents indulged her a little, but continued to call her by her real name. At twelve she discovered that there were things - one thing, actually - about men that she REALLY liked and ended up aborting at least once. When confronted, she said that she liked that stuff because she was really a gay man. Now she's forty, married to a man, with a child. Funny about that biology stuff ....

... speaking of that Stuff, I see that even Big Fani can get laid if she pays for it. I wonder if her man says "Fani be tender with my love" or she says "Lover be tender ... " - you know how it goes.

I always look forward to Highlights of the Week. Just blistering. Most fun you can have with your pants on. Hell, at my age, maybe even with them off.

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

My pants are off right now and the Highlights are awesome!!

Milei is awesome too.

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author

Too

Much

Information

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Cut me some slack, Jack!

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I had to read that twice to be sure I read it right! Gee Wiz Mr. Lardmaster

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Jan 21·edited Jan 21

Why would your pants be off? And if so, where are they off to? On second thought, don't answer the questions. A coherent response is always unappreciated.

--- "Vivek Tweet of the Week:

"Thank you for coming and don't forget to grab a Slurpee!"

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon* ("Thank you, come again!") from The Simpsons might be our next FBI director!

*Croatian, for "Purveyor of The Sacred, Charred-to-a-crisp Hot Dogs"

I added this word to SpellCheck and it reacted as if it was a mockingbird attempting to swallow a crocodile.

--- Isn't it a pleasure to watch a Bucs game and not get with the weekly jolting reminder that Brady isn't a New England Patriot anymore?

--- "ITEM 14: AP scolded, 'The Baltimore Sun is returning to local ownership — with a buyer who has made his politics clear.'

"The power of the press belongs to the man who owns the presses."

It took a while, but (the ghost of) H.L. Mencken finally got his revenge.

--- "Banjos at night"!!!

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It’s Esquire, but this is a great article on how Airplane! Came to be.

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a33024479/airplane-1980-comedy-40th-anniversary-essay-history/

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Thank you Lardmaster!

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Esquire lost a libel suit filed by Gore Vidal. They paid up. About thirty or so years later, Esquire thought it a good idea to publish an anthology of their best reporting, and since no one at the company (obviously) was there when Vidal got paid, they included the libel-suit article! And the Estate of G.V. sued and got paid twice.

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Yes—the Airplane reference was fun.

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Transgender golfer Hailey Davidson WINS Florida tournament and is now set to receive one of five women's places on prestigious tour aimed at providing 'growth opportunities' for female players.-The tour is the qualifying tour for the LPGA, the Tour Card of which Davidson has been aiming for- This is the hill to die on for the female golfers.' She' looks like Jack Nicklaus

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/01/20/06/80249651-12985899-image-a-10_1705731230793.jpg

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They say that if you get your swing down pat, you can wrap a 7-iron around somebody's neck twice. Maybe the real girls on the tour should practice that.

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A #3 wood to the groin might work as well.

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Don't. 98% of these cretins enjoy that tender approach to intimacy.

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The female LPGA members will now have to wash his balls...

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Or as the Finns might say, ' Tulta munille!'

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I said it was Harriet that spoke jive, but it wasn’t Harriet Nelson; it was June, Cleaver, Barbara Billingsley. It would have been equally funny either way.

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Lloyd Austin, America's military leader, who oversees missions, while lying on his back and wearing a hospital gown. Perfect fit with our president who makes executive decisions while licking a waffle cone. These tidbits come to you from the Department of You Can't Make This Shit Up.

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While there was allot of mystery about Austin's trip to the hospital, word is his gerbil went missing and they were hopeful the surgeon could locate it. There is no further information at this time.

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Last line is perfecto DJ.

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Welcome to the Most prestigious club on the net. The Founding Members.

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I have a problem understanding how intelligent people can believe Trump would destroy democracy. Yet news media continues, along with the Biden’s administration and Dems spewing this garbage. I know of people who were intelligent in the past who have been transformed into idiots

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Almost as long as I've been alive, the Middle East has been in absolute turmoil with the Israel situation. Politicians feined anguish, as they manipulated and aggrivated the situation, the milltary industrial complex being what it is. Trump gets elected and, with a wave of his hand, there is peace there. He solved the problem by selling the idea how profitable it would be for the parties to work together. The military boys didn't like that. Biden gets "elected" and quicly tosses a big turd in middle of everything and the fighting starts again. I don't know how that lesson can be any clearer.

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Enough of a turd, the entire middle east is now on fire.

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Been reading about that conflict in Genesis and Exodus these last few weeks….

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The just retribution dealt out by Israel in the past three months is everything I've ever imagined Armageddon to be.

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Similarly, I don’t understand how Americans can be working to destroy this country. I realize it is a deadly mix of greed and power, however, None of Don’s readers are wired this way. Not being wired like this, the answer is known, but it is still hard to comprehend.

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It really is. I am sure 'they' think they will be safe in their enclaves, and nothing will touch them. However, if DEI comes to all industries including electric, and others, how will 'they' survive? Plus, criminals will find them if they are the only ones that still have 'stuff'. Plus how do they think they will get food? cuz, none of them have seen a field or a live cow.

Also, if China invades (and they are sending military aged men for Biden to let in), who do they think China will kill first? China hates traitors as much as anyone.

It boggles the mind.

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Well, yes, I think without a doubt, 'they' assume they will remain untouched by the evil they are calling forth. But beyond that, I think THEY think that what they are doing is GOOD for "the people". That theory makes Trump's safety all the more precarious since they think he's Public Enemy #1.

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I think the military aged ‘refugees’ would be used like Cuban troops were used - hired soldiers/mercenaries/police to use force against US citizens. Like CA was talking about letting non-citizens become police officers….

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The common denominator is time spent in a college classroom. The people teaching are insulated from realities of the real world , and the people in the seats have often not been confronted by the realities of the real world.

People in the service industry for a couple years learns more about society and economy than people holding graduate degrees from Ivy League institutions.

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Charles,as one who used the serviice industry for college funding and educationin the business world I feel this should be required in el-hi as a training course.

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I agree - I've often thought that a required H.S. course should be working either in non-designer retail (such as Walmart) or working as a waiter or busboy for a semester.

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If I may comment, the group that has greatest work ethic, the best survival skills, and as James noted, the strongest faith are unfortunately those that are the most despised, which is the poor.

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The poor, and the rural workers. Both are classes that are looked down on by the elites.

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At their own peril. Karma is real.

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

bill o'reilly it nailed a week ago.....called them all morons (and yes he was referring to those who want trump to go away.) pretty harsh but on the money.

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20

That is a good question to answer for all of us as we fight to survive in this crazy Biden jungle. I suggest there is not one cause. Some people choose to become morons because they are loyal to something that is "paying" them to do so (i.e. teacher's union). In addition. don't forget the work of Jeffrey Epstein was to get dirt on as many world and business leaders as possible so they could be blackmailed into submission. I believe he had a vast network of loyal, controlled robots who were controlled by blackmail. Hello, John Roberts? Then there is the media and Psyops. This is not science fiction. The power of the media is their constant consistent brainwashing messaging;. It is hypnotic. The average person today (Not us Surberites) isn't really paying attention to world issues. They are lazy and wait to be told what is happening. That "being told what is happening" is where the media pulls off the psyop. Look at the shifting support for Ukraine. Any well-informed person probably never supported the war, but millions jumped on the bandwagon and flew Ukrainian flags at the homes. The average person doesn't think, doesn't research, doesn't reason. They just repeat what they are told by media.

It's amazing to me that the lunatic leftist strategy of blaming your opponent for what you (the leftists) are guilty of is still used and still works. Trump the dictator? Trump destroying democracy? How do people come to believe this trash? It works because, despite being an obvious unsubstantiated lie, the average person absorbs the media message and it moderates their attitudes, opinions, and beliefs.

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Epstein wasn't killed because of the names on the list. He was killed because of who he made that list for.

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yep, they dont want to let that sweet blackmail gig go. Makes the best lil whore house in VA run by our enemies look amateurish.

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"How do people come to believe this trash ?"

Answer: Public schools

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There's your answer. People have truly lost their minds.

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All I can tell ya is...I’m rewatching the original “Red Dawn” and treating it as a “How To” movie. Wolverines!

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There won't be Cubans dropping from the sky. Instead they marched brigades of blood thirsty barbarians up through Mexico.

We won't see them dropping and vulnerable. They are already inside the gate. Keep prepping and be careful whom you trust.

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just watch the vids from along the border. It aint families coming across. It is military aged men. Almost all of them, for the last 3 yrs. So they disappeared into the country and NO ONE is tracking them. And the Chinese caught are up over 1000% over last year, and that is just who is caught.

Lord I have gotten so cynical ~ I hate I sound like a conspiracy theorist.

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Does TJ stand for Told Ja? Because that's what you're going to be saying people and probably sooner than later. Be safe and keep your head on a swivel.

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I am among the many who think that TDS is TRULY an actual mental disorder from which there seems to be no cure and no return to normalcy.

The worm is eating their brains so that they are incapable of discerning fact from fiction, no matter how much proof is right in front of them.

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My vote in the pole - 50 years for all of the above. Or maybe a noose for outright treason.

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

I was going to vote for Warsaw :)

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Poll. Damned auto-correct.

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Buddy of mine gave his tickets to a Buckeye football game to a friend.

On Monday he asked his friend what he thought of the view from those seats.

Friend said, “Pretty good, except for the pole.”

My buddy said, “What pole? There’s no pole there!”

His friend said, “Maybe it was a Lithuanian.”

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Steve, you need to comment more...please.

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You made my day! Thx

I comment when I think I can add something wothwhile OR when my inveterate smartassedness compels me.

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Rim shot!

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Lol

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Don’t feel bad - the autocorrect is funny.

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Surber lives every week according to the lyrics of T-Bone Walker’s Stormy Monday.

Except Saturday, when he shoots fish in a barrel.

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Perfect!

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Don, does the eagle still fly on Friday for you, or is it the 3rd Wednesday of every month?

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

coach of tampa also told the reporter that it was a 20 second walk from the bus to the door.

left unstated by surber....the reporter who asked the question was a black female.

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20

she then was roasted for being a DEI candidate. And the look on the coach's face was priceless as he answered her.

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It was the perfect confused quizzical look to a question so dumb it would be difficult to believe anyone could seriously ask it. We need a good meme using that facial expression.

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i was thinking that he was thinking..."why do i have to be the one to toss this black chick under the bus? if i don't call her out everyone will think i'm dumb as f too."

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oh yeah, if that had be a white coach, HE would have been roast for pointing out a fact of 50 yrs.......

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

With respect to Item 4, in another episode of M.A.S.H., an MP sat next to Klinger at the poker table and said, “hey, up close you’re a guy,” and Klinger replied, “far away, too.”

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America’s Newspaper of Record reported last year: Dad Punishes Misbehaving Son By Giving Him Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Always on point, and as always I appreciate the Saturday morning chuckles! This morning’s poll is another example of why I don’t like answering anybody’s, because my answer is missing - something about treason, jury trial, conviction, rope (“some assembly required “). But I’m a youthful curmudgeon, so I’m used to disappointment!

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We should have guest polling (is that spelled correctly?) entries.

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Meathead never understood that President Trump reached out to states, communities, and cities he easily could have ignored since they voted against him in overwhelmingly large margins. He didn’t. He treated California and New York issues with respect and he worked to help those areas thrive. Even by their own admissions, Governors Cuomo and Newsom said Trump was responsive to their requests for resources during the Covid emergency.

The swamp take their most loyal voters for granted, and treat regions and blocs that oppose them with utter contempt. In Appalachia, we have seen this as every key industry our state had in 1970 has meticulously been regulated almost out of business. Natural Gas, Coal, Chemicals, Steel, Aluminum, Timber (Those synthetic materials you use or wear every day were developed in a lab in the heart of WV).

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11 - the Ho VP went to the John Fraud Kerry “Can I get me a huntin’ license here?” And Hillary Rodham “I don’t feel no ways taaaahred” school of campaigning. JFK and Rodham lost. May the Ho lose as well.

Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help! Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit.

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Well played Schlongy .

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Golly!

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

POLL: 25 TO 50 for all five.

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

i send the suber highlights to my posse every week. i have a fringe guy who loves haley and he just can't stand don surber. naturally i make sure he's on my list.

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Ha, resend it again.. "in case you missed this"

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

The Baltimore Sun: Russell Baker, the long time NYT columnist started at The Sun. He talked his way into covering the Coronation of Elizabeth II. He sent back a story about all the dignitaries from the Commonwealth attending in their colorful national finery. How did he get the story?. Well, security was tight and everyone had to be there hours early. As a low priority guest Baker did not have the best seat in the cathedral. If fact they put him near the bathrooms, so the exotic guests had to pass nearby to get to the restroom while the guests were waiting for the queen. Baker used the opportunity given him to write about the people he saw and the story kickstarted his career.

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

ITEM 9: "Instead of relentlessly harassing Donald Trump with bogus indictments and frivolous lawsuits, Democrats might want to find a candidate who isn’t old, isn’t dimwitted, isn’t on the take and isn’t wrong about everything all the time."

There is a lot in this statement. It is some of the best proof the left is running the country from behind the stage with puppet strings and doesn't want a leader with skills and good intentions. They want a braindead robot. Does anyone find it odd that NOBODY is stepping forward to be a Dem nominee? With only Biden in the game and losing support in his own party, it would offer a decent opportunity for even a mediocre candidate. Sure, parties usually don't run against the incumbent, but Joe's dwindling support among Dems is different and should necessitate an opponent. The puppet pullers have a plan and word is out to stand down.

I don't believe Biden will be on the ticket. Plan B will be enacted as the fog clears when Trump's court distractions go one way or the other.

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Moochelle !!!

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Item 3: The last Jewish Guy to quote Jesus right and give good advice was Jesus.

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I might respectfully beg to differ and submit (with the proviso that I may mistaken) that it was Peter, or possibly Paul - not sure which was killed last.

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Of course you’re right NFT, but I have to invoke a dramatic license Lol. Only a meathead (Rob Reiner et al) would take a meathead (Rob Reiner) seriously.

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Jan 20·edited Jan 20

Tradition hold they were executed on the same day. Paul by beheading and Peter by crucifixion. The feast of St Peter and Paul is held on June 29.

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Jan 20Liked by Don Surber

Item 3: Rob Reiner is Carl’s biggest joke. Sadly, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree as Carl was an atheist Dem.

Item 11: At least Barbara managed to keep her Beaver on the straight and narrow.

Item 17: That’s 22% with a lower IQ than the four letter word in FJB.

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LOL!

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I could he wrong, but I think Carl had the good sense and soud judgement to keep it to himself and not alienate half of his audience.

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