Highlights of the week
Only 22% of likely voters confident Biden is innocent of corruption allegations
ITEM 1: Jill Biden visited a school in Utah on Tuesday. She asked an aide where they were going.
He said, “Hunter High.”
She said, “I know that. What is our destination?”
ITEM 2: Argentina’s President Javier Milei spoke to the World Economic Forum at Davos.
He said, “I’m here to tell you that the western world is in danger and it is endangered because those who are supposed to have to defend the values of the West are co-opted by a vision of the world that inextricably leads to socialism and thereby to poverty.
“Unfortunately, in recent decades, motivated by some well-meaning individuals willing to help others and others motivated by the wish to belong to a privileged caste.
“The main leaders of the Western world have abandoned the model of freedom for different versions of what we call collectivism. We are here to tell you that collectivist experiments are never the solution to the problems that afflict the citizens of the world. Rather, they are the root cause.”
How dare he tell the truth!
The jet-setters at Davos have not been this upset since law enforcement closed Epstein Island.
ITEM 3: Via Breitbart, Rob Reiner, the original Snake on The Partridge Family, tweeted, “Jesus told us to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How in God’s name can anyone who believes in the teachings of Jesus support Donald Trump?”
Pope Rob was raised Jewish and became an atheist. Now you know why the show replaced him as Snake with Stuart Margolin, a much better actor who wasn’t a meathead.
ITEM 4: Ward Clark reported, “Federal Government to Spend $700,000 Reminding Girls Who Identify as Boys That They Can Still Get Pregnant.”
Its slogan should be, “You’re Still A Girl, Sir.”
ITEM 5: Breitbart reported, “New York City Democrat Mayor Eric Adams Imposing 11 PM Curfew on Illegal Aliens.”
TV stations can help by running an “It’s 11 O’Clock. Do You Know Where Your Illegal Aliens Are?” campaign.
ITEM 6: End Wokeness tweeted with video, “Illegals are now complaining that American winters are too cold.”
That’s good news because Democrats now will have to support warming the globe just to keep the terrorists, Chinese spies and MS-13 gangbangers comfortable.
ITEM 7: Iowa had a caucus and President Trump blew away his opponents who were him and her and him and maybe a few more hims. Presidential primaries are like church services. You can never have too many hymns.
A reader said Vivek pulled a Grassley by campaigning in each of Iowa’s 99 counties. A Trump is when you carry 98.
ITEM 8: Disney’s ABC said, “ABC News cancels New Hampshire Republican primary debate.”
May as well cancel the primaries because Iowa killed them.
ITEM 9: NBC’s Steve Kornacki tweeted, “I don’t think I buy that Trump’s status as a former president made his landslide & current *very* strong position inevitable. When the race began in late ’22-early ’23 his polling w/ R’s was shaky, and he even trailed DeSantis in some. R’s really were rattled by the ’22 midterm.
“The shift came abruptly: A clear rally-around-Trump effect among GOP voters when news of the first indictment (Manhattan DA) broke in March ’23.”
Here’s a thought: Instead of relentlessly harassing Donald Trump with bogus indictments and frivolous lawsuits, Democrats might want to find a candidate who isn’t old, isn’t dimwitted, isn’t on the take and isn’t wrong about everything all the time.
ITEM 10: How cold is it, Johnny?
“It’s so cold, Teslas are struggling to charge in Chicago.”
ITEM 11: Kamala said, “We done a lot of good work, we need to let people know who brung it to ’em.”
College educated. Never lived in the South. Both parents were foreign born in English-speaking countries. Both were college professors. Good thing Santa brought her that Ebonics dictionary for Christmas so she can talk to black people in an election year.
She’s becoming Barbara Billingsley.
TWEET OF THE WEEK:
ITEM 12: Sports guru Dave Connelly tweeted, “A reporter asked Buccaneers head coach Todd Bowles about how the team is preparing to get acclimated to the weather in Detroit ahead of Sunday’s game.
“The Lions have played in a dome for nearly 50 years.”
Another journalist who is sharp as an egg.
ITEM 13: Good news, journalists. The FAA will hire you.
Fox reported, “FAA’s diversity push includes focus on hiring people with ‘severe intellectual’ and ‘psychiatric’ disabilities.”
ITEM 14: AP scolded, “The Baltimore Sun is returning to local ownership — with a buyer who has made his politics clear.”
The power of the press belongs to the man who owns the presses.
ITEM 15: Zero Hedge reported, “Biden Angry With Republicans Trying To Stop Kids Seeing Gay Porn.”
Bring back Alice and Jerry.
Jip too.
ITEM 16: Insider Paper tweeted, “BREAKING: King Charles III to receive hospital treatment for enlarged prostate: Buckingham Palace.”
Which is the opposite of the USA game of Where In The World Is Lloyd Sandiego Austin?
ITEM 17: The Center Square reported, “Only 22% of likely voters confident Biden is innocent of corruption allegations.”
Unfortunately that 22% includes everyone in the media — except the new owner of the Baltimore Sun.
ITEM 18: Fox reported, “Hunter Biden knew 70% of art buyers, contradicting White House narrative on anonymous collectors.”
They are art collectors in the way the men who put dollar bills in G-strings are connoisseurs of ballet.
ITEM 19: Andrew Fleischman wrote, “In the past week, we’ve seen commentary from law professors and former federal prosecutors arguing that Fulton County (Georgia) District Attorney Fani Willis should not be disqualified—even though she hired as a special prosecutor Nathan Wade, a man she was allegedly dating, paid him nearly $700,000, and received vacations in return.”
Fleischman ran her picture with the column. She may be pudgy, but she shouldn’t have to pay a man $700,000 to have sex with her.
ITEM 20: The Hill reported, “Democrat Frost challenges GOP to introduce bill to remove Statue of Liberty.”
Located on Liberty Island, the open borders people confuse it with Ellis Island, which saw millions of immigrants enter the country — and saw millions sent back as the island was used to screen immigrants coming into the country.
Eventually liberals will tear it down because they want to erase all our past as they Make America Grovel, Amigo.
ITEM 21: James Carville said President Donald Trump has syphilis.
Democrats are always projecting.
ITEM 22: 404 Media reported, “Google News Is Boosting Garbage AI-Generated Articles.”
Which means look for Google’s first Pulitzer next year.
ITEM 23: PJ Media reported, “Oof. Team Nikki Is Lowering Expectations for New Hampshire.”
In December, Guv’na Chris “Son Of John” Sununu said, “She's going to win in a landslide.”
After Iowa, Sununu said, “We always wanted to have a strong second. That’s the only expectation we ever laid out there.”
Has she tried getting indicted by Merrick Garland? That seems to work better than having Democrats sneak into the Republican primary to vote for Hillary Haley.
ITEM 24: Deadline reported, “Sports Illustrated’s Entire Staff Told Their Jobs Have Been Eliminated After Authenic Brands Revokes License To Publish; Union Vows To ‘Fight For Every One Of Our Colleagues.’”
Of course the union will fight. How else will it collect union dues?
Kane at Citizen Free Press said, “Put Trannies on the swimsuit cover, and you’re done.”
Yup.
ITEM 25: Variety reported, “Alec Baldwin Indicted on Manslaughter Charge in Rust Shooting.”
His lawyers said, “We look forward to our day in court.”
Sure they do. Billable hours.
ITEM 26: CNN whined, “Boomers won’t part with their homes, and that’s a problem for young families.”
No, the problem for young families is skyrocketing mortgage rates and inflation — the same things my generation faced when we had young families 40 years ago.
Now get off my lawn, sonny. I just had it re-sodded. It’s bluegrass. You should hear the banjos at night.
What a collection today! Woof!
re: Javier Milei at Davos: everybody who's seen "Butch Cassidy" knows the first process in a knife fight is to kick your opponent in the balls. Milei went right into the thick of those bastards and gave them a swift Paul Newman in the gonads. Yessssssss!!!! Do it again!!!
re: Harriet speaking jive. I saw "Airplane" in the theater when it first ran. Nearly peed my pants, and it's just as funny today.
re: trannies can get preggers. My stepdaughter was always a little crazy, and at six announced to her parents at the breakfast table that she was really a boy named Rob. Her parents indulged her a little, but continued to call her by her real name. At twelve she discovered that there were things - one thing, actually - about men that she REALLY liked and ended up aborting at least once. When confronted, she said that she liked that stuff because she was really a gay man. Now she's forty, married to a man, with a child. Funny about that biology stuff ....
... speaking of that Stuff, I see that even Big Fani can get laid if she pays for it. I wonder if her man says "Fani be tender with my love" or she says "Lover be tender ... " - you know how it goes.
I always look forward to Highlights of the Week. Just blistering. Most fun you can have with your pants on. Hell, at my age, maybe even with them off.
Lloyd Austin, America's military leader, who oversees missions, while lying on his back and wearing a hospital gown. Perfect fit with our president who makes executive decisions while licking a waffle cone. These tidbits come to you from the Department of You Can't Make This Shit Up.