165 Comments

Finished the post so now another comment…

I’m one of those people who couldn’t have children. I spent almost a decade trying fertility treatments and finally, via invitro fertilization, was pregnant with twins. I miscarried one at 8 weeks and the second at 16 weeks. That second one not only killed the baby (a girl) but almost killed me.

11 months later we were blessed to adopt a newborn baby girl who is now 34 with three children of her own. She and her husband are contemplating a fourth. They are conservative Christians who take their kids to church and have them enrolled in a Christian school. Their many friends are doing the same, which gives me hope for the future. Being a mother is the most important job on the planet.

Women like Handler will wind up old, alone and even more miserable than they are today.

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My mother had a still-born in 1937 that almost killed her also. Five years later, she and my daddy adopted me as a 3 week old infant. I could never have hoped to have had a more loving, caring family. I was raised always knowing that I was adopted (chosen, special). My mother did such a good sales job on that one that I used to feel sorry for my playmates who weren't adopted!

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So thrilled for you! God’s plans sometimes are so clear to see.

Our daughter has relationships with each of her birth parents, who she found via the internet when she was in her early 20’s. Her birth father danced with her in the father-daughter dance at her wedding. My husband danced the first half and then asked her birth father to finish the second half. Not a dry eye in the room! But she knows who her “real” parents are.

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11

When my son would go to other children's yards to play, he enjoyed going to our neighbor's yard to play on such great swings, slides, etc. That child was adopted, and did he ever rub it in that he was chosen and picked out "special." He'd say to other kids, "Your mom just got what popped out!"

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Cookie- when my 3 adopted siblings got old enough to ask why I wasn’t adopted but they were, she had a stock answer- “Because after him we couldn’t take anymore chances.

Very pleased our kids are adopting and fostering.

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And that NFL player gets raked over the coals for praising that very thing. One day in the market a woman remarked to my wife, "You're a stay-at-home-mom, aren't you." She followed that with, "I can tell that by how your daughter behaves." That was a long time ago. Funny the things you remember...

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Years ago, I asked the Head Mistress at our daughters' private NY school whether she could see a difference in children whose mother's stayed at home versus those that worked. Unequivocally, she replied, "yes".

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People have frequently complimented me on how well-behaved my kids are. Coulda fooled me!

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Used to happen to me too. Kids behave differently with their parents than they do with other adults.

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Ran into the same, often. We started checking our kids’ IDs. “THIS kid???” LOL

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My daughter’s pediatrician knew that I was a stay at home mom because he only saw her once a year for her annual check-up. The kids who were in day care were in his office every couple of months with the latest germ which was being passed around.

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Handler is also just plain ugly. Which explains a lot.

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It's her behavior that's really 'ugly' - not exactly a role model.

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...and, it emanates outward. 1st impressions matter.

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Ugly on the inside, as well. She’s batting 0-2.

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Beauty is skin deep /ugliness goes clear through Bubble.

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Well said, brother.

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I haven’t finished reading this morning’s post yet but one thing jumped out at me in the NY Slimes article - in the list of things to do before having children, getting married does not appear. That’s a whopper of a hole in the list.

Now to finish reading….

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Answering the poll easy: Isn’t she Lovely is the song played at ballet recital close when Dads join their dancers onstage for a turn across the stage. I weep every year. This year our oldest grandson escorted his younger sister while their dad escorted the older sister. You can tell the girls whose dads are deployed - their mom or brother does the dance across the stage. I weep every year.

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The poll was easy for me as well, but I chose "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. This song was released in 1974, right about the time my wife became pregnant with our first son. He was born in March of 1975. I can still remember most of the lyrics.

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When I went to the Dad-and Daughter dance with my 19-year-old, I requested Save the Last Dance for Me.

And it was the last dance that night.

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You are truly blessed!

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11

That was the song my daughter and I danced to at her wedding. Not a dry eye in the house. I still tear up when I hear it.

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What a lovely thing! I voted for Isn’t She Lovely too.

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Instead progressives are looking for “the ideal romantic partnership.” Good luck with that!

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11

That said, my 'liberal-lite' daughter, who admittedly is gorgeous, well-educated and fun to be with has been dating for years and each time I have heard about each guy. Many young men are struggling today and are hardly ready to take on the role of husband and father - that's another (very interesting) topic for another day. She told me she had many opportunities to marry 'money' in her circle of swishy NY friends. But she was truly looking for a soul mate, she wanted someone who was funny, who had a sense of humor. We despaired for her - she's just turning 32. I have had sleepless nights. Really. But just last month, we think she's met 'the guy'...and he's 35, lovely, smart, hardworking, etc...they have only known each other for a month but I sense this is the real thing. Fingers-crossed. 🤞🏼 She wants three kids. She would make a fabulous mom. Let's hope the wait has been worth it.

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It isn't just liberal ideology that has discouraged people from marrying and having children. Today's world is not the one that produced the post-WWII baby boom. Back then it was entirely feasible and realistic for the man to support a family, while the wife stayed home for the kids. Exporting all those jobs to China has changed that for the worse. This is what the Free Trade fanatics have wrought, although we should not forget the feminists and the DEI dictators.

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11

I completely agree that today's world is not like the postwar WW 2 boom for most people. However in my world today, people are very well off....and still many people are still choosing to forgo having children. In fact, the wealthier these kids are - and some of them are taking down tremendous money in the city (and/or they have family money) - the more access they have to the good life, travel & partying, etc - kids would just throw a wrench-in-the-carousel. So one could say it's 'wealth & decadence' putting the breaks on childrearing in some quarters...and most of these people, at least my kids' friends are well-educated & 'liberal'. On the other hand, since Covid, I have moved to the countryside and have gotten involved with the local town community (and the town Republican committee). Today, I am amongst people that are more average citizens economically, like the ones I grew up with. Here in the hills, the young are having children but I also know that budgets are tight and a $10 expenditure is something they think about - lots! Again, I am observing more Republicans at the moment because of my involvement with the Republican Town Committee. But to your point, it's not inexpensive having children. But when was it ever economically (and emotionally) easy to raise children? In the late 1950's/1069's America it was also a strain economically. the BIG DIFFERENCE, I see is the expectation of acquiring stuff and services. We didn't have much money growing up, but we also didn't know there was stuff to be had. We didn't see what others had to be able to want (envy) other things - designer clothes, travel, iphones, tv's etc - there was no Instagram and social media - there was no expectation of having stuff. We were rather happy in our rather modest world (I remember anxiously awaiting the day my mother would be replacing my ratty underwear!!). People made do, pleasures were simpler (backyard BBQs, running around the neighborhood until the sun went down, playing in the woods, etc). Raising children requires self-sacrifice and it seems to me that there's resistance to dedicating oneself to 'the other'. Even my daughter who had a baby last year, and just announced she's having twins, bemoans that there is little or no time left just for her. I agreed with her. But it is what it is - kids need care and attention. And the issue comes down to whether you have it within yourself to make that sacrifice.

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This is all true, and a good description of liberal attitudes.

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There's also a difference because singles and married no kids, just consume stuff. They may be socially connected but, there's an assimilation-cultural track missing from their lives that essential for child-rearing parents to adapt and influence. Parents affect culture much more than no-kids adults do.

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I hope he’s THE ONE!!

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Me too 🤞🏼🙏🏼

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Take heart. My son waited ‘for the right one’. Found her in Budapest when he was 45, she 35. Married 3 years later, a son came 9 mos after. Neither married before knew they wanted a family.

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Wedding vows are supposed to mitigate the eventuality of the ideal romantic relationship reverting to the mean, right? "I promised to stick it out." Isn't this situation the foundation of the careers of countless comedians? I mean, how many jokes are based on the honey-do list?

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CS Lewis says that commitment in Christian marriage is not based on feelings, but is an act of the will. We choose to love (even when the other is unlovable) and the feelings will follow.

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Before Nancy and I married, we “committed to being committed.” Still together after all these years (38).

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"I took my mother-in-law on a pleasure cruise. I drove her to the airport."

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marriage is tanking faster than biden's poll numbers. 80% of divorces are filed by women and men have started to catch on to that. 90% of child support is paid my men and men are also coming to the realization that marriage isn't a great business plan....for men.

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Jun 13·edited Jun 13

As I was going thru chemo, my wife said I'd lost my edge. A compelling InstaPundit comment-link sent me to a website; Roissy, at the time, was a pick-up artist/Game blogger. It lead to other helpful sites but, their main points were focused on traditional male roles and admonishing readers to never stray from their natural-inherent, masculine instincts. Out of bitter breakups and divorces the MGTOW (men going their own way) movement began. While lamentative, wasn't as much about developing-maintaining an attitude of masculinity. Some of these sites were very helpful. Cancel culture's attack via-web hosting wiped many of these out. Some guys, after the browbeating of a high school and college education, still need such a reminder.

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

Having 3 kids was one of the best decisions we ever made. Anybody who has sat at the head of a long table for any Family Occasion and seen the happy eyes of your children, their spouses and all those grandchildren looking back at you knows exactly what I’m talking about!

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Like when my 7 y/o great granddaughter helps me blow out my birthday candles at the family celebration. Too sweet.

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A Great Grand Daughter…You’re blessed Ma’am

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I am indeed. From my eldest grandson and now another girl due from his younger brother…right around my birthday! Hooooray!

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Yes sir!

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Amen

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Sorry, you guys but whatever’s up with Substack it allows me to post but not like

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

Selfishness is the absolute antithesis to parenting.

It is also the gateway to all sin.

You can’t be a parent and be fixated on yourself. Well, you can, but that’s guaranteed to make you and your child miserable.

The Liberal mentality of these people is all “what about me?” We’ve seen all those stories and movies made about so-called “heroic” women leaving their kids and families to “go find themselves”, leaving wreckage and broken hearts in their wake.

It’s the epitome of selfishness. And they end up empty, trying to fill some undefinable void, only in reality creating confused and damaged kids.

The biggest lie was, “women can have it all!” Yeah right. Something’s gonna suffer, and it’s almost always the kid, offered on the altar of “me first”.

Sadly, it - selfishness - is rampant in our culture. And it explains everything.

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When you are a parent you will step in front of a speeding train if that’s what it takes.

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Precisely, dear Suzie. Rampant narcissim and solipsism are the order of the day, but that is precisely the outcome when one decides to make oneself a god. Genesis 3: 5 is our verse of the day.

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“One’s On The Way” by Loretta Lynn

“The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib.

And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live.

And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today.

Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin'

The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin'

One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin'

Lord, one's on the way.

Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins again.”

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Shel Silverstein's tribute to her

He also wrote One Piece At A Time for Johnny Cash.

I miss novelty songs.

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Topeka? I guess Shel just couldn't figure out a way to work Butcher Holler into the lyrics.

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Yeah, me too. Life was much simpler, and better, then.

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

There's also a song for the future Chelsea Handler and her like. It was released nearly 60 years ago by the Beatles (who all eventually had children) and wonders in the refrain, "all the lonely people, where do they all come from?"

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

I've know more than a few women who went all in on the good life of the "liberated and independent". A good job, partying, traveling and the expendable boyfriends. Then, all of the sudden they turn 50 and wonder. What did I do?

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

If you don’t have children you won’t have grandchildren. “What is best in life? to hear the laughter of your grandchildren” - Conan The Barbarian at age 65.

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“To hear the laughter of your grandchildren,

Fill them full of sugary sweets when you visit,

And hear the lamentation of their parents when you leave.”

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

The laminations of their parents <Chef’s Kiss>

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Great movie reference!

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Yep, I once threatened my parents with the dental bills if they didn’t stop giving them candy. Sure. LOL.

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Q. Why do Grand Parents and their Grand Children get along so well?

A. They have a common enemy!

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If a person wants "self discovery" - have children.

We learn more about life - and ourselves - from having children than from anything else.

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An understatement. They gave me a wonderful life.

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

Thx- I’ll be hearing Little Stevie Wonder’s harmonica in my head for the next hour.

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

😂 me, too!

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author

You are welcome

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Hah! Right?!!

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If you want to get a song out of your head, The Girl from Impenema works everytime.

But I don’t know how to get rid of that.

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

Chelsea Handler is the poster girl for all Democrats who suffer from the same problem. The five most troubling years in a Democrat's life, are in the fourth grade. They are all nincompoops.

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The word I would use to describe her is “lost.”

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Make Nincompoops Great Again!

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Funny, DJ, funny...

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

Humans solve problems. A comment from the author of Theft of Fire. https://x.com/devon_eriksen_/status/1800348845399785660?s=46

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Pretty good post on X. Thank you.

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Exquisite!!

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Thank you - that’s a fine link!

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NYT: “ For young, secular, politically progressive men and women, having children has become something of an afterthought”

ME: Best news this week.

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LOL… unfortunately a lot more of the week has yet to come…

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My Bible study this morning included Genesis 38, the story of Judah and his daughter-in-law, Tamar. At first blush, it is an embarrasing tale of the sordid relationship between these two characters, resulting in the birth of twins, Zerah and Perez. Like Jacob and Esau, there was an issue over who was the firstborn, but, contrary to the laws of primogeniture then universally in effect, we learn that it was the second-born who had God's favor. But we don't come to realize this until we read Matthew 1: 1-17, where we find that Tamar and Perez are to be found in the geneology of Joseph, husband of Mary, foster father to Jesus! Obviously, our contemporary society would have preferred to have aborted Tamar's twins in order to eliminate the social stigma. And in its earthly "wisdom" our society would have prevented the arrival of mankind's Savior. Of course, this would have been satan's preferred plan, but God thwarted it! Satan has throughout all history sought to prevent God from implementing His plan of salvation, yet he has never been successful, nor will he, thank God. And so it is with all these ever-so-enlightened "modern" thinkers, who disdain to have children for all their highfalutin reasons, but all of which boil down to the same root cause, i.e., selfishness. The divine "Me" rules in their lives and while they claim to be living wonderful and fulfilling lives, in the final analysis, they are life's biggest losers. And who can tell whether the child they chose not to have might have played a part in God's plan?

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Satan made his choice: “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven”. He chose poorly.

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Actually, one could say that is the same motto the Marxist/Left has adopted about the United States. They don't mind trashing the U.S., because ruling, even over the ashes, is what they think will fill that hole in their soul.

(Hint, it won't!)

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Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

I saw a drawing from a page in that sadistic Gender Queer book yesterday and just broke down in tears. And then I got angry, really angry. What do we do?! I want to show everyone that drawing so they’ll understand the evil the left, which runs the entire Democrat party down to dog catcher, and all our Democrat-voting friends and family are allowing Satan to influence school children. But then I think, Satan and the left and the Democrats would love for that drawing to be widely distributed, sort of desensitizing the stomach revolting evil in people’s minds. And then the people who say “it doesn’t matter to me what adults do in private”. Well, how do you think alphabet-lifestyle adults got the ideas and encouragement to live that way? Someone, some book, some porn influenced them when they were young.

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It's not enough we don't care what the hell they do in the privacy of their homes. It is the fact they demand we EMBRACE their lurid lifestyle. We don't. And they cannot handle this.

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Amy, DO show everyone that drawing--for some receptive people, it can be another item that pushes them towards being red-pilled.

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It’s so filthy I can hardly bring myself to think of it let alone have it on my phone to send to people or print out. But I know you’re right. Ugh. Just think how many wonderful things could be accomplished in this world by now if we didn’t have to constantly be on the watch for the crap the Democrats push and the clean up we have to do. Two steps forward and five step back it feels like

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Too many liberals are living detached from reality, because their media literally does not show them the negative side of liberalism-- it only shows them the "nobleness" of liberal intentions.

They have been insulated from seeing the videos showing the actual growth of crime in cities (one said to me "big cities have always had crime"); they don't see the pictures of masses of immigrant (largely young men) pouring into the country; they don't hear about crimes by illegals; they don't see the pictures of young female teens whose forearm has been stripped of skin to create a fake penis that is filled with tissue that decays and won't heal and makes them a medical patient for life (and vice versa for the teen boys undergoing genital mutilation surgery); they're not seeing the obscene pictures of grown men drag queens prancing about at story hour; they don't even see the pictures of Biden looking and acting totally confused; etc. etc., all because their media does not show it to them.

So making them "See" can have a value. We do need to pierce their bubble so they recognize the destruction that is occurring. If we could truly help them realize this, Trump could win all 50 states.

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11Liked by Don Surber

Liberals go Darwin? They can’t do that fast enough to suit me!

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Even from a naturalist, biological point of view, the most common, normal thing in nature is procreation. EVERY SPECIES does it.

Let's see: we use our hands and feet, our eyes and ears - but we're not going to use the sperm and eggs that are a part of our bodies?

But I'm with you, Don; I really prefer that liberals leave the baby-making - and parenting - to us.

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And, if we're really lucky, a lot of liberals will jump on the euthanasia band wagon.

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