I haven’t finished reading this morning’s post yet but one thing jumped out at me in the NY Slimes article - in the list of things to do before having children, getting married does not appear. That’s a whopper of a hole in the list.
I haven’t finished reading this morning’s post yet but one thing jumped out at me in the NY Slimes article - in the list of things to do before having children, getting married does not appear. That’s a whopper of a hole in the list.
Answering the poll easy: Isn’t she Lovely is the song played at ballet recital close when Dads join their dancers onstage for a turn across the stage. I weep every year. This year our oldest grandson escorted his younger sister while their dad escorted the older sister. You can tell the girls whose dads are deployed - their mom or brother does the dance across the stage. I weep every year.
The poll was easy for me as well, but I chose "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. This song was released in 1974, right about the time my wife became pregnant with our first son. He was born in March of 1975. I can still remember most of the lyrics.
That said, my 'liberal-lite' daughter, who admittedly is gorgeous, well-educated and fun to be with has been dating for years and each time I have heard about each guy. Many young men are struggling today and are hardly ready to take on the role of husband and father - that's another (very interesting) topic for another day. She told me she had many opportunities to marry 'money' in her circle of swishy NY friends. But she was truly looking for a soul mate, she wanted someone who was funny, who had a sense of humor. We despaired for her - she's just turning 32. I have had sleepless nights. Really. But just last month, we think she's met 'the guy'...and he's 35, lovely, smart, hardworking, etc...they have only known each other for a month but I sense this is the real thing. Fingers-crossed. 🤞🏼 She wants three kids. She would make a fabulous mom. Let's hope the wait has been worth it.
It isn't just liberal ideology that has discouraged people from marrying and having children. Today's world is not the one that produced the post-WWII baby boom. Back then it was entirely feasible and realistic for the man to support a family, while the wife stayed home for the kids. Exporting all those jobs to China has changed that for the worse. This is what the Free Trade fanatics have wrought, although we should not forget the feminists and the DEI dictators.
I completely agree that today's world is not like the postwar WW 2 boom for most people. However in my world today, people are very well off....and still many people are still choosing to forgo having children. In fact, the wealthier these kids are - and some of them are taking down tremendous money in the city (and/or they have family money) - the more access they have to the good life, travel & partying, etc - kids would just throw a wrench-in-the-carousel. So one could say it's 'wealth & decadence' putting the breaks on childrearing in some quarters...and most of these people, at least my kids' friends are well-educated & 'liberal'. On the other hand, since Covid, I have moved to the countryside and have gotten involved with the local town community (and the town Republican committee). Today, I am amongst people that are more average citizens economically, like the ones I grew up with. Here in the hills, the young are having children but I also know that budgets are tight and a $10 expenditure is something they think about - lots! Again, I am observing more Republicans at the moment because of my involvement with the Republican Town Committee. But to your point, it's not inexpensive having children. But when was it ever economically (and emotionally) easy to raise children? In the late 1950's/1069's America it was also a strain economically. the BIG DIFFERENCE, I see is the expectation of acquiring stuff and services. We didn't have much money growing up, but we also didn't know there was stuff to be had. We didn't see what others had to be able to want (envy) other things - designer clothes, travel, iphones, tv's etc - there was no Instagram and social media - there was no expectation of having stuff. We were rather happy in our rather modest world (I remember anxiously awaiting the day my mother would be replacing my ratty underwear!!). People made do, pleasures were simpler (backyard BBQs, running around the neighborhood until the sun went down, playing in the woods, etc). Raising children requires self-sacrifice and it seems to me that there's resistance to dedicating oneself to 'the other'. Even my daughter who had a baby last year, and just announced she's having twins, bemoans that there is little or no time left just for her. I agreed with her. But it is what it is - kids need care and attention. And the issue comes down to whether you have it within yourself to make that sacrifice.
There's also a difference because singles and married no kids, just consume stuff. They may be socially connected but, there's an assimilation-cultural track missing from their lives that essential for child-rearing parents to adapt and influence. Parents affect culture much more than no-kids adults do.
Take heart. My son waited ‘for the right one’. Found her in Budapest when he was 45, she 35. Married 3 years later, a son came 9 mos after. Neither married before knew they wanted a family.
Wedding vows are supposed to mitigate the eventuality of the ideal romantic relationship reverting to the mean, right? "I promised to stick it out." Isn't this situation the foundation of the careers of countless comedians? I mean, how many jokes are based on the honey-do list?
CS Lewis says that commitment in Christian marriage is not based on feelings, but is an act of the will. We choose to love (even when the other is unlovable) and the feelings will follow.
marriage is tanking faster than biden's poll numbers. 80% of divorces are filed by women and men have started to catch on to that. 90% of child support is paid my men and men are also coming to the realization that marriage isn't a great business plan....for men.
As I was going thru chemo, my wife said I'd lost my edge. A compelling InstaPundit comment-link sent me to a website; Roissy, at the time, was a pick-up artist/Game blogger. It lead to other helpful sites but, their main points were focused on traditional male roles and admonishing readers to never stray from their natural-inherent, masculine instincts. Out of bitter breakups and divorces the MGTOW (men going their own way) movement began. While lamentative, wasn't as much about developing-maintaining an attitude of masculinity. Some of these sites were very helpful. Cancel culture's attack via-web hosting wiped many of these out. Some guys, after the browbeating of a high school and college education, still need such a reminder.
I haven’t finished reading this morning’s post yet but one thing jumped out at me in the NY Slimes article - in the list of things to do before having children, getting married does not appear. That’s a whopper of a hole in the list.
Now to finish reading….
Answering the poll easy: Isn’t she Lovely is the song played at ballet recital close when Dads join their dancers onstage for a turn across the stage. I weep every year. This year our oldest grandson escorted his younger sister while their dad escorted the older sister. You can tell the girls whose dads are deployed - their mom or brother does the dance across the stage. I weep every year.
The poll was easy for me as well, but I chose "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. This song was released in 1974, right about the time my wife became pregnant with our first son. He was born in March of 1975. I can still remember most of the lyrics.
When I went to the Dad-and Daughter dance with my 19-year-old, I requested Save the Last Dance for Me.
And it was the last dance that night.
You are truly blessed!
That was the song my daughter and I danced to at her wedding. Not a dry eye in the house. I still tear up when I hear it.
What a lovely thing! I voted for Isn’t She Lovely too.
Instead progressives are looking for “the ideal romantic partnership.” Good luck with that!
That said, my 'liberal-lite' daughter, who admittedly is gorgeous, well-educated and fun to be with has been dating for years and each time I have heard about each guy. Many young men are struggling today and are hardly ready to take on the role of husband and father - that's another (very interesting) topic for another day. She told me she had many opportunities to marry 'money' in her circle of swishy NY friends. But she was truly looking for a soul mate, she wanted someone who was funny, who had a sense of humor. We despaired for her - she's just turning 32. I have had sleepless nights. Really. But just last month, we think she's met 'the guy'...and he's 35, lovely, smart, hardworking, etc...they have only known each other for a month but I sense this is the real thing. Fingers-crossed. 🤞🏼 She wants three kids. She would make a fabulous mom. Let's hope the wait has been worth it.
It isn't just liberal ideology that has discouraged people from marrying and having children. Today's world is not the one that produced the post-WWII baby boom. Back then it was entirely feasible and realistic for the man to support a family, while the wife stayed home for the kids. Exporting all those jobs to China has changed that for the worse. This is what the Free Trade fanatics have wrought, although we should not forget the feminists and the DEI dictators.
I completely agree that today's world is not like the postwar WW 2 boom for most people. However in my world today, people are very well off....and still many people are still choosing to forgo having children. In fact, the wealthier these kids are - and some of them are taking down tremendous money in the city (and/or they have family money) - the more access they have to the good life, travel & partying, etc - kids would just throw a wrench-in-the-carousel. So one could say it's 'wealth & decadence' putting the breaks on childrearing in some quarters...and most of these people, at least my kids' friends are well-educated & 'liberal'. On the other hand, since Covid, I have moved to the countryside and have gotten involved with the local town community (and the town Republican committee). Today, I am amongst people that are more average citizens economically, like the ones I grew up with. Here in the hills, the young are having children but I also know that budgets are tight and a $10 expenditure is something they think about - lots! Again, I am observing more Republicans at the moment because of my involvement with the Republican Town Committee. But to your point, it's not inexpensive having children. But when was it ever economically (and emotionally) easy to raise children? In the late 1950's/1069's America it was also a strain economically. the BIG DIFFERENCE, I see is the expectation of acquiring stuff and services. We didn't have much money growing up, but we also didn't know there was stuff to be had. We didn't see what others had to be able to want (envy) other things - designer clothes, travel, iphones, tv's etc - there was no Instagram and social media - there was no expectation of having stuff. We were rather happy in our rather modest world (I remember anxiously awaiting the day my mother would be replacing my ratty underwear!!). People made do, pleasures were simpler (backyard BBQs, running around the neighborhood until the sun went down, playing in the woods, etc). Raising children requires self-sacrifice and it seems to me that there's resistance to dedicating oneself to 'the other'. Even my daughter who had a baby last year, and just announced she's having twins, bemoans that there is little or no time left just for her. I agreed with her. But it is what it is - kids need care and attention. And the issue comes down to whether you have it within yourself to make that sacrifice.
This is all true, and a good description of liberal attitudes.
There's also a difference because singles and married no kids, just consume stuff. They may be socially connected but, there's an assimilation-cultural track missing from their lives that essential for child-rearing parents to adapt and influence. Parents affect culture much more than no-kids adults do.
I hope he’s THE ONE!!
Me too 🤞🏼🙏🏼
Take heart. My son waited ‘for the right one’. Found her in Budapest when he was 45, she 35. Married 3 years later, a son came 9 mos after. Neither married before knew they wanted a family.
Wedding vows are supposed to mitigate the eventuality of the ideal romantic relationship reverting to the mean, right? "I promised to stick it out." Isn't this situation the foundation of the careers of countless comedians? I mean, how many jokes are based on the honey-do list?
CS Lewis says that commitment in Christian marriage is not based on feelings, but is an act of the will. We choose to love (even when the other is unlovable) and the feelings will follow.
Before Nancy and I married, we “committed to being committed.” Still together after all these years (38).
"I took my mother-in-law on a pleasure cruise. I drove her to the airport."
marriage is tanking faster than biden's poll numbers. 80% of divorces are filed by women and men have started to catch on to that. 90% of child support is paid my men and men are also coming to the realization that marriage isn't a great business plan....for men.
As I was going thru chemo, my wife said I'd lost my edge. A compelling InstaPundit comment-link sent me to a website; Roissy, at the time, was a pick-up artist/Game blogger. It lead to other helpful sites but, their main points were focused on traditional male roles and admonishing readers to never stray from their natural-inherent, masculine instincts. Out of bitter breakups and divorces the MGTOW (men going their own way) movement began. While lamentative, wasn't as much about developing-maintaining an attitude of masculinity. Some of these sites were very helpful. Cancel culture's attack via-web hosting wiped many of these out. Some guys, after the browbeating of a high school and college education, still need such a reminder.