Highlights of 2024, Part Two
In 20 days, Trump's four-year vacation ends
Tonight, we will bid adieu finally to more of 2024—a year so big it needed an extra day.
My look back through the weekly Highlights of the Week continues. Part one was yesterday and it is here.
(Check out the poll from a week before Butler.)
ITEM 1: Zero Hedge reported, “46% of EV owners surveyed in the United States say they will likely return to driving gas-powered vehicles.”
The other 54% plan to switch to horse-drawn carriages.
ITEM 2: The Daily Mail reported, “Ukraine is too corrupt to join NATO, the U.S. is set to tell leader Volodymyr Zelensky in a major blow to his nation's security ambitions.”
Hunter Biden must have blabbed.
ITEM 3: The Hill reported, “NEW POLL: President Biden is seven times more popular than former President Trump among Ukrainians.”
Pedo Joe also is 100 times more popular among visitors to Epstein’s island.
ITEM 4: Bloomberg reported, “NHL free agency shows teams in states with no income tax have an advantage.”
Which explains Florida winning 3 Stanley Cups under DeSantis and Canada not winning one in 31 years.
ITEM 5: Citizen Free Press tweeted, “Alex Soros, age 38, is getting married to Huma Abedin, age 47.”
She finally got over her humiliating relationship with a disgraced politician.
Hillary Clinton.
ITEM 6: Post Millennial reported, “Satanists demand inclusion in Florida’s in-school chaplain program.”
Suddenly Democrats embrace school prayer.
ITEM 7: Miranda Devine tweeted, “I missed this: DC Examiner reported that in 2021 the Marine Corps band was instructed to come up with an entrance theme for Jill Biden, and now plays an original composition titled Fanfare for the First Lady.
Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina was already taken.
ITEM 8: Zelensky said of JD Vance, “I’m not trying to make him understand what's going on here. And we don't need any rhetoric from people who are not deeply in the know, in the war.”
Vance is a Marine veteran of Iraq.
Zelensky looks good in a green T-shirt.
ITEM 9: WEWS-TV reported, “Mattel unveils first blind Barbie and first black Barbie with Down syndrome.”
That’s how Democrats pick presidential candidates.
ITEM 10: The Daily Star reported, “Scientist grows male genitals in lab.”
Finally, hope for the Republican leadership.
ITEM 11: AP reported, “The United States and Russia completed their biggest prisoner swap in post-Soviet history on Thursday, with Moscow releasing journalist Evan Gershkovich and fellow American Paul Whelan, along with dissidents including Vladimir Kara-Murza, in a multinational deal that set two dozen people free.”
Mad Vlad is having an everything-must-go sale as he frees the hostages he took when Biden was president to free up space for the hostages he’ll take under Kamala.
ITEM 12: NPR reported, “Harris taps Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate.”
Politico reported, “Harris taps Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz for VP.”
Bloomberg TV reported, “Harris Taps Minnesota's Walz as Running Mate.”
Taps is the appropriate song for this ticket.
ITEM 13: Modernity reported, “U.S. military veterans have taken to social media to post images of themselves on combat duty in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other theatres of war, captioning the pictures ‘Me not being Tim Walz.’ ”
Or Dick Blumenthal.
ITEM 14: AIPAC money “Liz Cheney’d” Squad member Cori Bush as she lost Tuesday’s primary for a third term in Congress.
Another Hamashole bites the dust.
ITEM 15: The New York Post reported, “Florida Rep. Anna Paulina Luna speaks out after years-old footage of MAGA swimsuit goes viral.”
She wore a swimsuit that said Make America Great Again before she was elected to Congress. Now she wears business outfits. I demand an end to this cover-up.
ITEM 16: Bryce Hall reported, “Chicago population hits lowest point since 1920.
“At the 1920 Census, Chicago’s population was 2.7 million, up over 516,000 in a decade. More than 100 years later, Chicago’s population is 2.66 million, a loss of 128,034 from nine straight years of decline.”
I knew there were a lot of shootings there but I did not realize the numbers were this high.
ITEM 17: The New York Post reported, “FBI investigates how maggots got into DNC breakfast in Chicago.”
They had press credentials.
ITEM 18: The New York Post reported, “Dear Abby: My family doesn’t accept my transgender child.”
People who seek personal advice from people who died 11 years ago shouldn’t be parents.
ITEM 19: Breitbart reported that Kamala “Harris said to a Georgia Voter: I Washed My Collard Greens in a Bathtub.”
I’m confused. When did McDonald’s start selling collard greens?
ITEM 20: The Eagles and the Packers played the first NFL game ever in Brazil on Friday.
Darius Slay of the Eagles blasted the league for sending players “somewhere with a crime rate this high.”
Dude, somebody has to play in San Francisco.
Chicago.
Detroit.
ITEM 21: Gerrard Kaonga reported, “Tourist who dropped Cheetos in largest US cave could trigger ‘world-changing’ chaos, parks service warns.”
But the guardrails and trail the parks service installed in the cave are perfectly harmless.
ITEM 22: Social media star Greg tweeted, “Since Trump said he’s not doing any more debates I think Elon Musk and Taylor Swift should do a debate.”
Nope. A Britanny Mahomes-Taylor Swift would be such a catfight that Haitians would drool.
ITEM 23: Oprah held a townhall for her new BFF Kamala.
She needs new BFFs because her old ones keep landing in jail.
ITEM 24: The Daily Mail reported, “I ate 700 eggs in a month as an experiment—what happened to my health went against everything I'd been told.”
He became Paul Newman.
ITEM 25: Axios reported, “Hezbollah asked Iran to attack Israel, Israeli and Western officials say.”
Hey, Iranians: Don’t forget your pagers!
ITEM 26: Sundance reported, “Sean Combs’ Body Guard Claims Music Mogul Kept Tapes of New York Politicians at Sex Parties.”
Please, please, please, don’t let Hillary be in any of those sex tapes. Nobody wants to see that.
ITEM 27: Breitbart reported, “CNN Admits to Using ‘Digitally Altered’ Photos of Donald Trump, Laura Loomer.”
CNN, the most trusted name in fake news.
ITEM 28: The New York Post reported, “Nancy Pelosi’s husband sold more than $500,000 worth of Visa stock — just weeks before DOJ’s antitrust lawsuit.”
He has a good excuse. He needed money to pay her wine tab this month.
ITEM 29: ABC reported, “Obama to campaign for Harris in final weeks before Election Day.”
Well, that proves she’s black. He only campaigns for, as calls them, black folks. I remember how well he did in 2018 for Governor Stacey Abrams of Georgia and Governor Andrew Gillum of Florida. The latter later started Do Meth With A Gay Prostitute Day.
ITEM 30: Reuters reported, “Britain said Thursday that it would cede sovereignty of the Chagos Islands to Mauritius in a deal it said secured the future of the U.K.-U.S. Diego Garcia military base, and which could also pave the way for people displaced decades ago to return home.”
That’s nice. Now to get the Muslims to cede sovereignty of London and pave the way for displaced Londoners to return home.
ITEM 31: Eli David tweeted, “Sheikh Ibrahim Amin REFUSED nomination as the next Hezbollah leader.”
He said, “If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not live.”
ITEM 32: The Daily Beast reported, “Transgender Models Make History at Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.”
The secret now is what is under the underwear.
ITEM 33: Israel ended its war this week.
ITEM 34: The Atlantic reported, “Trump Is Speaking Like Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini.”
I’m impressed that he speaks German, Russian and Italian.
ITEM 35: Politics UK reported, “Donald Trump has filed a Federal Election Commission complaint against ‘far-left’ Labour helping the Kamala Harris campaign for ‘illegal foreign campaign contributions’ and ‘interference in our elections.’ ”
I thought we settled this in 1776—and again in 1812. If they want another rematch ass-kicking, that’s OK with me.
ITEM 36: The Times of London asked, “Why is Donald Trump targeting the Amish vote in Pennsylvania?”
Because he watched the movie Witness last weekend.
ITEM 37: Pat Sajak tweeted on Wednesday night, “Noticed I was trending. Thought I had passed away. Turns out I’m fine.”
Grace Slick also trended on Wednesday because it was her 85th birthday. She credited her longevity to sex and drug and rock ’n’ roll—but in far more colorful language.
ITEM 38: Insurrection Barbie tweeted, “What did Kamala Harris spend $1 billion on?”
It sure wasn’t on hair, makeup or clothing.
ITEM 39: The Telegraph reported, “Iran sets up mental health clinic to ‘treat’ women who refuse to wear hijab.”
As a gesture of goodwill, would the ayatollahs mind treating some of the women shaving their heads because Trump won?
ITEM 40: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “JUST IN: Arizona finished counting votes.”
We can now say officially that Goldwater carried Arizona over LBJ.
* * *
That was the year that was. I want to thank readers for their support. More than 19,000 people receive the newsletter daily through free or paid subscriptions. You are a blessing to this old dude who now gets the senior discount automatically. White hair privilege.
Oh yes, the poll.
I would like to nominate this post as THE Highlight of not just the Year, but perhaps the last decade:
“ ITEM 10: The Daily Star reported, “Scientist grows male genitals in lab.”
Finally, hope for the Republican leadership.”
How different the world could have been had they ever had some of their own.
2024 was A YEAR! I started reading Surber & Friends and am glad I did. Thank you , Don for some really insightful content. HAPPY NEW YEAR