Highlights of the week
We're a bo-na-na fanna fo-repub-lic.
Let’s do Shirley!
Um, not in THAT way.
ITEM 1: AP reported, “Prosecutors recommend six months in prison for a man at the center of a Jan. 6 conspiracy theory.”
Man? I thought Nancy Pelosi was a woman.
ITEM 2: SB Nation reported, “USA Boxing puts forth new trans policy and everybody is pissed off.”
Men can fight women — provided the men snip it off and wait four years.
Problem solved.
ITEM 3: The Daily Mail reported, “Epstein list released: First names are revealed by court after two associates filed appeals to keep their identities hidden.”
Those first names are: Bill, Andrew, Stephen, Leonardo . . .
ITEM 4: Via Breitbart, 32 of the 535 members of the House and Senate beat the S&P 500.
This means that even with their use of insider trading, my stock index fund investment did better than 500 congressmen and senators did. That’s embarrassing. Folks, we need to send a smarter set of crooks to Washington.
ITEM 5: AP reported, “Harvard president’s resignation highlights new conservative weapon against colleges: plagiarism.”
Oh no. Conservatives are using facts again!
The Old and Unimproved Dave tweeted, “HARVARD: If you shoplift less than a thousand words from another person’s thesis, it’s not plagiarism, only a misdemeanor.”
ITEM 6: DC_Draino tweeted:
“Tweeting doesn’t do anything”
Well it took down Bud Light, Target, Disney, and the woke President of Harvard
Use whatever tool you have. Look what David did with a slingshot.
ITEM 7: The Tennessee Star reported, “Attorney for Carol Swain Sends Letter to Harvard Corporation Demanding Answers for Plagiarism by Disgraced President.”
That $50 billion endowment fund is a pretty deep pocket.
ITEM 8: Conservative Tree House reported, “True the Vote Wins Northern Georgia District Court Case on Voter Integrity -vs- Stacy Abrams, Marc Elias and the DOJ.”
You still can question authority in America.
For now.
ITEM 9: AP reported, “US intel confident militant groups used largest Gaza hospital in campaign against Israel.”
Gaza City is an underground military fort camouflaged above ground by hospitals, schools, mosques and AP.
ITEM 10: The Daily Caller reported, “Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Revealed As US Official With Highest Approval Rating In New Poll.”
Only 46% disapprove of him.
The tallest midget.
ITEM 11: Kelsey McFarland of KTNV in Las Vegas tweeted, “District court judge Mary Kay Holthus was attacked by a defendant being sentenced this morning. According to a marshal, Judge Holthus is okay but one marshal is in the hospital.”
With video.
The three-time felon was upset he did not get probation instead of jail.
ITEM 12: Variety reported, “Universal Overtakes Disney as Highest-Grossing Studio at 2023 Box Office.”
But Disney was the DEI champ and it got its pronouns right: Lou and Zer.
ITEM 13: Reuters reported, “US public debt tops $34 trillion as Congress heads into funding fight.”
Forget gold. I invested in green ink because the Treasury Department printing press must be gobbling it up by the tankload.
ITEM 14: The Washington Examiner reported, “Hunter Biden contempt of Congress resolution to move ‘soon’ in House Oversight Committee.”
Rushing at the speed of the DMV.
ITEM 15: Kat Kanada tweeted, “The dying MSM media doesn’t want you to know about the German farmer uprising.”
The video showed pictures of farmers blocking traffic on the freeway.
Dude, it’s the AUTObahn. Why are trucks on it in the first place?
ITEM 16: The Washington Examiner reported, “Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said Wednesday his campaign is vetting people to be his running mate in 2024.
I suggest a liberal woman. My three choices are Liz Cheney, Nikki Haley and cousin Caroline.
ITEM 17: Epoch TV reported, “Tax Expert Explains How High Taxes Drive Jobs Out of California.”
Most of us don’t need a tax expert to know how a UHaul works.
ITEM 17: Breitbart reported, “As the Michigan Wolverines headed into the Rose Bowl, their faith was also on their minds, as seen in their pregame prayer circle and post-game comments giving ‘All glory to God.’”
Yo, Ohio State, that’s how you win.
ITEM 18: The Daily Wire reported, “Sound of Freedom beat out Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour movie to finish in the top ten of 2023 box office tallies domestically.”
She sobs all the way to the bank. Maybe she’ll write a song about it.
ITEM 19: Resist the Mainstream reported, “Multiple State Capitols Locked Down, Evacuated After Bomb Threats.”
The chief suspect’s initials are F, B, and I.
ITEM 20: The Daily Mail reported, “High-end sex ring in Boston and D.C. areas was 'honeypot' scheme by Russia, China, South Korea or even Israel — to ensnare US officials, intelligence experts believe.”
The chief suspect’s initials are F, B, and I.
ITEM 21: The Akron Beacon Journal reported, “Transgender Ohio House candidate fails to make ballot for not listing former name.”
His legal name is Vanessa Joy but because he changed it in the last 5 years, he had to include it in his application.
The newspaper failed to disclose his previous name because reporting the facts might upset the LGBT crowd.
ITEM 22: The New York Post reported, “A 17-year-old student armed with two firearms and a makeshift explosive device opened fire inside his rural Iowa high school on the first day back from winter break Thursday — killing a sixth grader and injuring five others, before turning the gun on themself, officials said.”
Another mass shooting of a school by a tranny. Gee, do you think giving XX hormones to an XY (or XY hormones to an XX) makes the nutjobs even nuttier?
This happened in Perry, Iowa, where LGBT luggage thief and Biden administration hero Sam Brinton was born.
ITEM 23: NYT lied, “Trump Received Millions From Foreign Governments as President, Report Finds.”
They rented rooms at his hotels.
With Biden, they rent an entire government.
ITEM 24: Merry Insurrection Day!
Kanekoa The Great reported, “JUST IN — President Trump Releases Summary of Election Fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election in the Swing States
“Introduction: It has often been repeated there is no evidence of fraud in the 2020 Election. In actuality, there is no evidence Joe Biden won.”
ITEM 25: The Charlotte Observer reported, “Polar bears hold secret to surviving frigid winters — and we can benefit, study says.”
Live like polar bears. Add fur and a thousand pounds of weight. Travel at 2 miles per hour and eat nothing but blubber. Now that’s the life for me.
ITEM 26: The New York Post reported, “In a subtle move, Nikki Haley, currently vying for the Republican presidential ticket and trailing former President Donald Trump in recent primary polls, quietly spent $2.4 million for a waterfront estate on Kiawah Island, South Carolina.”
Another liberal politician fights climate change by buying beach property.
ITEM 27: AP reported, “Iran says at least 103 people killed, 188 wounded in bombing at ceremony honoring slain general.”
ITEM 28: The Philadelphia Inquirer reported, “The Philadelphia Police Department’s first diversity, equity, and inclusion officer was fired Tuesday morning, shortly before the swearing-in of Police Commissioner Kevin Bethel and Mayor Cherelle Parker, police said.”
Who knew that the town’s first black female mayor was a white supremacist?
ITEM 29: The Center Square reported, “DeWine bans transgender surgeries on minors in Ohio.”
They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning,
No one you see, is smarter than he.
Oh, hell no. Override because an executive order can be reversed by the next tranny industry-backed weasel elected governor of Ohio. The governor left out blocking puberty blockers and kicking boys off girls teams.
ITEM 30: Jack Posobiec tweeted, “Jack Smith warns if Trump is re-elected he could use the State of the Union address to incite his supporters to kill opposing politicians.”
No, Smith is not unhinged because I don’t think he ever had hinges.
ITEM 31: Ronna Romney McDaniel wrote, “In 2024, it has never been more important for Republicans to vote early and bank their votes.”
That way, Democrats will know exactly how many mail-in ballots to forge so there won’t be any drama on election night.
ITEM 32: Newsweek reported, “California Paying for Illegal Migrants to Gender Transition Sparks Fury.”
I am all in favor of this. Make it the law. If you come to America illegally, we change your sex.
ITEM 33: NBC reported, “Supreme Court agrees to weigh whether Trump can be kicked off ballot in Colorado.”
When Trump prevails, he should make Governor Jared Polis bake him a cake. That is the Colorado way, is it not?
FINALLY, a reader noted, “I kind of see the point the left is making about the termination of Claudine Gay. She was treated much worse than the current resident of the White House. Biden had multiple instances of plagiarism when he was in undergraduate and law school. He plagiarized speeches of others in 1988 when he ran for president. He used Neil Kinnock’s actual life experiences as his own. Why would the white guy get away with it and not her?”
Let’s ask readers:
re: testosterone and trannies. For the record, I did NOT miss that day in medical school.
The day that a flood of testosterone starts uphill from testicle to brain begins a long and difficult slog for the testicle's owner, hopefully spurring his creative - and procreative - juices for a lifetime. Who designs and builds tall buildings, suspension bridges, aqueducts, and aeroplanes that go mach 5? Men. Who make up 95% of jail inmates, perpetrate 97% of murders, kill themselves at rates manifold that of the Opposite Sex? Also men.
This little T molecule is a powerhouse of creativity - and a powerhouse of violence and poor choice-making. It's a footrace whether it will kill you or make you Isaac Newton or James Clerk Maxwell. Handling it is a lifetime near thing for boys and men - people born with the bodies and DNA to handle it. Let a corrupt medico pour it into the body of some unfortunate girl confused by penis-envy and you have The Very Formula for a mass-shooter.
I recommend that we pass a new law requiring amputation of the hands of any surgeon who cuts off a child's perfectly-functioning tallywacker, tries to make a new one out of forearm muscle, or prescribes puberty-blockers or testosterone to any child. That should put the issue to bed.
ITEM ONE: Pelosi not only skates, she screams that Trump led an insurrection. When the hell does the boom fall on her? She is as rotten as they come.
However, she still hasn't been appointed to her dream job as ambassador to Italy. So there is that. Better still, she should have a lifetime appointment as ambassador to a penitentiary.