Thank you, England

Too bad you’ve abandoned the civil liberties that you gave us

A few Brits on Twitter congratulated us on our 250th birthday as a nation by reminding us that this Sunday they will celebrate the 1,099th anniversary of their nationhood.

Well, cheers to them as well.

On July 12, 927, King Æthelstan, grandson of Alfred the Great, and the kings of Scotland, Deheubarth (Wales), Strathclyde and northern Northumbria met at Eamont Bridge near Penrith in Cumbria and agreed to form the Kingdom of England with Æthelstan as the king. Wales and Scotland remained independent.

Æthelstan got the job because he had just kicked the Vikings out of York, their last stronghold on the island. Plus he was a nepo.

Oh, the Nordic wars would resume. On September 28, 1066, the Normans invaded and 16 days later, on October 14, William the Conqueror lived up to his name at the Battle of Hastings. King Harold died in defeat.

The real celebration for Brits is the signing of the Magna Carte on June 15, 1215, when 25 barons force King John (hiss, boo) to agree to the rule of law under the Ankerwycke Yew, a massive tree in Berkshire, England. The tree is 2,500 years old.

I expect the Muslims eventually will chop the yew down to make skewers for shish kebab. King Chuck the Cuck will praise them.

The Magna Carte agreement lasted a few months until the barons rebelled because neither side kept its promise. The barons brought in Prince Louis of France to be crowned king, but King John died of dysentery a month later. The barons turned on Louis and made John’s son Henry king.

Years later, Louis became King Louis the Eighth of France. Was it a reward or punishment?

Under the same tree three centuries later, King Henry VIII swore his love to Anne Boleyn. He, too, reneged on the deal and had her beheaded on May 19, 1536. If you trust a British king under a famous tree, yew’ll be sorry.

But through trial and error over 5 centuries after the Magna Carta, the Brits developed a civilized approach to government that included the rule of law, contract law, presumption of innocence, freedom of speech and representation in parliament.

The Brits then spread the word to the world, civilizing India, much of Africa, some of China and the Caribbean.

What communists today condemn as colonization was actually civilizing savage tribes. Sub-Saharan Africa failed because its populace was divided among warring tribes. Few tribes had written languages. They did not use the wheel.

The Brits had 13 colonies in North America plus Canada. Lord North, King George III’s prime minister, made the mistake of treating them like Ireland or Scotland. America was much tougher to rule an ocean away.

And while today, we gloat about beating the Brits and their greatest military in the world, we also must respect and appreciate the gift our Mother Country gave us. The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness spring from her—as does the right to property.

In all the recent celebration of our Bicentennial +50, no one mentions the most important thing shared by the 56 signers of that Declaration of Independence. Yes, 50 were wealthy. Yes, 55 were Protestant.

But all 56 were Englishmen.

They rebelled not because they hated the British system. What they hated was being ruled by disinterested Members of Parliament and an otherwise engaged king an ocean away.

The revolution did not result in something insanely different from the norm for these Englishmen who became Americans. The U.S. Constitution, which would become the basis of the American government 13 years later with the election of President Washington, was an American adaptation of British system of governance.

Oh the differences were more than them calling a cookie a biscuit (or to be accurate, what they call a biscuit, we call a cookie). But James Madison and the boys wanted was something similar but without a king.

This was the polar opposite of the French Revolution in which the peasants overthrew the monarchy and the Catholic church. We joke that the last country the French defeated was France. But the guillotine’s reign of terror and the Iranian-level slaughter of protesters was a violence not visited to that extent in our country.

Slaves in the French colony of Haiti rebelled and established a shithole thanks to a series of dictatorships because the first thing the rebels did upon seizing power was to kill all the white people.

Spain did better with its colonies but the lack of respect for private property has haunted Mexico throughout its history.

America was not the only benefactor of British rule. The Anglosphere was dominated by successful countries for decades in the post-colonial era.

We joke about Britain “creating” independence days for 60 nations.

Given the foundation the British laid down for us, we should thank them for the rule of law, trial by jury, presumption of innocence, contract law, civil rights and the rest of the British parliamentary system.

Sadly, Britain gradually is allowing what made it great disappear in a mad rush toward sharia law. Maybe we can get together with India, Canada and other alums to colonize England and restore those traditions.