Mossad and Springfield Cats

This post is dedicated to the cats of Springfield. Hang in there.

It’s not much of a post because I spent most of the day goofing off and watching videos of Hezbollah terrorists being blown up by their pagers. The Overture to 1812 danced through my head as the videos played. Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM.

I wonder how many photojournalists AP lost in the battle.

NPR called the cowards fighters:

Scores of fighters from the Lebanese armed group Hezbollah were seriously injured on Tuesday, when the pagers they used for communications unexpectedly exploded.

In what appears to be a widespread attack on part of the militant group’s communications system, the explosions took place in Beirut’s southern suburbs where Hezbollah has offices and in the south of the country.

The group has been trading cross-border attacks with Israel since the start of the war in Gaza last year.

On Tuesday, Lebanon’s public health ministry directed hospitals in the country to prepare for mass casualties and warned anyone with a pager to immediately throw it away.

I’d rather have Tchaikovsky tell the news. Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM.

Iranian-funded Houthis terrorists sent a hypersonic missile to Israel from 1,200 miles. Mossad injured 4,000 Hezbollah boys, many of them with injuries that (to put it in a polite Peter Paul way) turned them from an Almond Joy into a Mounds bar as the Hezbollah boys carried the pagers in their pants pockets or clipped to their belts.

Merry Bris-mas.

Whoever came up with this idea deserves a No Balls Prize.

Hezbollah’s army of terrorists are the real-life Sopranos now.

Axios reported, “Israel didn't tell U.S. before Hezbollah pager attack, officials said.”

Thus the mission was accomplished.

Consider it another medical miracle developed by Israel. Men no longer will need transgender surgery. Just put one of these Deep Circumcision Pagers in your jockstrap and — Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM. — instant bonus hole.

Mehr News Agency had bragged just a little earlier, “Hezbollah reacts to Yemen’s missile attack on Tel Aviv.”

Hailing Yemen's anti-Zionist operation, Hezbollah said that the attack achieved its goals with high precision and in complex military conditions and showed the weakness of the Zionist regime.

This brave decision is a real sign of the united positions of the Resistance in supporting the Palestinian nation, it added.

The Resistance Axis adheres to the continuation of supporting the oppressed and heroic Palestinian nation until the end of the Israeli oppression and the cessation of genocide and crimes in the land of Palestine, it concluded.

Yemen hit Tel Aviv, in central occupied Palestine, with a ballistic missile on Sunday morning penetrating all Israeli air defense systems.

Some reports by Israeli media suggest that the missile hit an area near an airport in Tel Aviv.

It hit an empty field. A hypersonic missile costs $41 million. But what do the Houthis care about money? Iran pays them off with the money that Obama and Biden gave Iran.

The untold story is the October 7 attack was so evil that it awakened a sleeping giant. Israel finally stopped trying to appease the world and decided to end the terrorism once and for all.

The past 11 months remind me of the Six Day War in 1967 when Israel took on the Arab World and took out army after army. Egypt discovered its tanks had a reverse gear. That war made most Arabian countries just give up on trying to erase Israel.

Iran is not Arabian. It is run by idiot ayatollahs who make Kamala seem like, well, not Einstein. Maybe Bill Nye, the science guy.

My advice upon hearing the news about October 7 was to level Gaza. Its capital is an underground military base shielded by schools, hospitals and AP’s offices above ground.

No more.

Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM.

As Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok used to say on Farm Film Report, they blowed up real good.

Matt Drudge was hot on the breaking news. He threw ice on it with a report on some rapper being charged with abusing women. There’s a surprise.

The story was timed to remove the Trump assassination off the news. I am not saying the Deep State has taken over the Drudge Report. I don’t have to.

Speaking of the media, ABC News saw its ratings drop 12% after the debate. Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM.

But the debate helped Kamala, right?

About now, readers are wondering what any of this has to do with Haitians in Springfield. But I already said it’s not much of a post because I spent most of the day goofing off and watching videos of Hezbollah terrorists being blown up by their pagers. Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM.

Whether the Haitians are eating cats has yet to be determined. They do eat cats in Haiti, but no one cares. A Springfield cat’s nine lives matter.

What we do know that while there are no official reports of Haitian refugees feeding on felines that the Springfield Police will produce, crime is up in the town of 60,000 real Americans and 15,000 Haitians.

The Daily Caller reported, exclusively:

Reports of shoplifting and vehicle theft increased considerably in Springfield, Ohio, following the arrival of thousands of Haitian refugees, according to data obtained by the Daily Caller News Foundation through a records request.

The town, which had a population of 58,622 in 2020, has taken in between 12,000 and 20,000 Haitian refugees over the past three years, marking a population increase of between 20.4% and 34.1%. From 2021 to 2023, Springfield also saw a 51.5% jump in motor vehicle theft reports and a 112.8% spike in reports of shoplifting, data provided by the Springfield Police Division shows.

Springfield residents previously told the DCNF that the influx of Haitians has resulted in an uptick in car accidents, increased housing prices and strained public services. Bryan Heck, Springfield’s city manager, sent a letter to Democratic Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown, Republican Ohio Sen. J.D. Vance and Republican South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott in July requesting federal assistance to deal with the pressure migrants had placed on the housing supply.

Inhabitants of the town also told the DCNF that they had observed Haitians engaging in sex acts and other vices in public. The DCNF was unable to verify claims made by the town’s residents about Haitians engaging in public debauchery.

The government claims without evidence that the Haitians have revitalized Springfield’s economy but the federal government is buying off Springfield with aid.

The media also blasted Trump’s rhetoric for bomb threats to schools in Springfield.

Then the New York Post reported, “Republican Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine revealed Monday that a recent spate of bomb threats targeting the town of Springfield have all been hoaxes, with some originating from one particular country overseas.”

He said, “33 threats; 33 hoaxes. I want to make that very, very clear. None of these had any validity at all.”

I think the name of that country overseas sorta rhymes with Jussie-a. Maybe it rhymes with Cocaine.

It is time to move the refugees to a military base for safety and to deport every illegal alien before we have to hand out pagers. Learn from Israelis. They mollycoddled Palestinians for two generations. The hate never dissipated. Now the IDF and Mossad have to go Tchaikovsky on them.

Da-da-da-da-da. BOOM. BOOM.