Journalism 2026
Any time President Trump gives a speech, it must be described as rambling.
On May 9, 2013, David Burge, a blogger best known for identifying old cars from family photos sent in by readers, told a truth about journalism that no others would dare: “Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.”
As Grok said, “Satire works best when it sharpens something real. The pillow metaphor sticks because selective emphasis, framing choices, and omission have been documented across outlets for years—whether on Hunter Biden’s laptop, certain crime statistics, lab-leak hypotheses, or other topics that later forced course-corrections. When the coverage gap is large and consistent enough, the joke stops feeling like exaggeration and starts feeling like diagnosis.”
That breakthrough was in 2013—years before the media saddled us with facemasks and Joe Biden as president.
Since then the rules of journalism have changed—for the worst. Here are the rules journalists added:
1 Any time President Trump gives a speech, it must be described as rambling.
On Friday night, the president attended the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, an event that traditionally as the president trading barbs with the guests. AP (Always Pravda) ignored that, reporting:
President Donald Trump returned to the rescheduled White House Correspondents’ Association dinner Friday night, delivering a rambling, hourlong speech that praised some journalists, took potshots at others, made jokes about public figures’ weight and intellect, and quipped about a third presidential term.
The press today is as humorless as a block of wood or Kaitlan Collins.
Consider their reaction to this part, “Under my administration, a once-feared and powerful regime that relentlessly attacked America has finally been toppled. Their former leaders have been removed and they’re now being run by a gay dictator facing internal divisions. But I for one wish Bari Weiss all the best at CBS News. She’s a wonderful woman.”
Weiss is a lesbian.
Fortunately our health secretary can take a joke. Here’s what the president said about RFK Jr.
I hope that everyone finally got to enjoy their entire very delicious beef tenderloins. Very special beef. And I want you all to know that Bobby Kennedy is right here, personally ran over the cow in his car. And he cut it up and he brought it here for you to eat tonight, so it’s very fresh. And Bobby also suggested an appetizer featuring his favorite cut of male raccoon roadkill. But we drew the line at that, Cheryl. We said no, we’re not gonna do that. We’re not doing that. We love Bobby. I’ll tell you, he’s a piece of work. You think it’s fun, but he is a very different kind of a person. I will tell you.
Obama would never chide a journalist or a Cabinet member.
Instead he went after Trump in 2011, saying, “We all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example—no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice—at the steakhouse, the men’s cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled.”
AP reported, “President Barack Obama exacted his revenge Saturday after weeks of attacks from his would-be Republican challenger Donald Trump, joking that the billionaire businessman could bring change to the White House, transforming it from a stately mansion into a tacky casino with a whirlpool in the garden.”
15 years later, jokes are insults and unpresidential.
2 Always tell one side of the story, just make sure it is not Trump’s side.
On July 16, the president gave a national address that none of the broadcast networks broadcast, instead running a game show and reruns in the timeslot.
That did not stop ABC from reporting the next day, “China on Friday said it has never interfered in U.S. elections and has no interest in doing so, urging Washington to stop making what it described as ‘groundless accusations’ after President Donald Trump accused Beijing of meddling in the 2020 election.”
Well, that settles that, doesn’t it?
Nothing to see here. Move along. In the three previous presidential elections Hillary got 65,853,514 votes (2016), Obama got 65,915,795 votes (2012) and 69,498,516 votes (2008) actively campaigning each time. Biden sat in his basement and got 81,283,501 votes but the claims of impropriety are debunked.
3 Caitlin Clark is the Donald Trump of sports.
USA Today is particularly annoying. The paper said Clark stayed in Des Moines to get her hair done, skipping a WNBA All-Star activity. It turned out she was in Iowa to attend an event for the Caitlin Clark Foundation.
Then USA Today ran a column which said her complaining about being punched in the throat without and the ref refusing to call a foul are the same kind of white woman privilege that got Emmett Till lynched on August 28, 1955.
But white woman privilege failed to protect Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska from a black man slashing her throat. USA Today wants race relations to be stuck in the 1950s forever—to help divide people along lines of race.
4 Say despite instead of because.
Taxpayers spend billions fighting homelessness. The money goes to fake charities run by politicians. As a problem solved is a revenue stream closed, the charities make sure the problem grows.
Trump called the homeless vagrants, sent in the National Guard to destroy the pup tents and ended homelessness in DC.
5 Never use the mugshot, ignore the criminal record.
NBC reported, “Corey Ruiz’s heartbroken loved ones question deadly force in Madison police shooting.”
This was after he slashed an officer. Ruiz was a man who had convictions. Six or seven of them. Via Grok.
2007: Disorderly conduct (misdemeanor).
2009: Strangulation/suffocation (2 counts, felony); robbery with use of force (felony).
2013: Theft (2 counts, misdemeanor); battery (misdemeanor in some summaries).
2014: Cocaine possession (felony); marijuana/THC possession (felony); theft (misdemeanor); bail jumping (felony); battery (misdemeanor).
2020: Disorderly conduct (2 counts, misdemeanor); bail jumping (felony); auto theft / take and drive vehicle without consent (misdemeanor).
2021: Resisting an officer causing substantial bodily harm/soft tissue injury (felony); battery or threat to a judge, prosecutor, or law enforcement officer (felony); auto theft (misdemeanor). He received prison time plus extended supervision on the more serious 2021 cases.
2024 (some reports note 2023/2025 variations for recent cases): Retail theft and resisting/obstructing an officer (misdemeanors); resisting and possession of drug paraphernalia (misdemeanors; a related battery/threat charge was dismissed in one case).
These are convictions. The list of arrests is far longer.
By the way, the Madison, Wisconsin, police listed him as white. That’s one way to reduce crimes by minorities.
6 When in doubt, leave it out morphed into to sow doubt, use quote marks.
Liberals have taken over the Smithsonian and emphasize slavery and Jim Crow laws rather than the derring-do of the Founding Fathers, the sacrifices of the settlers and the building of the Arsenal of Democracy that won World War II. Trump is pushing back.
CBS reported, “Trump orders signs placed outside Smithsonian museum warning of ‘inaccurate’ information.”
This is from a network that was silent on government pressure to censor social media in the name of fighting misinformation.
People claim without evidence that the news media has no standards. Bah. The news media has two standards and that is better than one, right?
Those are the rules. I did not write them. I just jotted them down.
aoc is to common sense.
“USA Today wants race relations to be stuck in the 1950s forever—to help divide people along lines of race.”
They also use gender and class in their relentless pursuit of power for communists, Islamists, and misfits. Prima facie evidence that the Marxist press is this country’s most dangerous fifth column. The ridicule of them by DJT is delicious!