Highlights of the week

I apologize for the photo. Need eyewash? Here’s Kari Lake in a black bikini.

ITEM 1: The Jeff Bezos Post anguished, “Russia’s Federal Security Service late Friday announced a criminal case against Wagner mercenary chief Yevgeniy Prigozhin, accusing him of ‘incitement to armed rebellion’ after he declared an open conflict with Russia’s military leadership and called on Russians to join 25,000 Wagner fighters against Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu and other top commanders.”

What did Prigozhin do? Sit in the speaker’s chair?

I wonder where Putin learned to treat political opponents like this.

But who knows what is going on in this war? Putin. Zelensky. Biden. There are no good guys.

ITEM 2: The House voted to censure Adam Schiff, D-FBI.

This will go on his permanent record.

Anything less than expulsion is a waste of time.

ITEM 3: The Catholic News Agency reported, “Due to an intense heat wave and drought that has spread in various parts of Mexico, a more than 400-year-old Catholic church has completely emerged from the waters in the state of Chiapas.”

The miracle is just a reminder that the Lord always rises again.

ITEM 4: Post Millennial reported, “On Thursday, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said that teams would no longer be wearing themed jerseys for warm-ups during specialty nights like Pride Night.”

Bettman said, “I’ve suggested that it would be appropriate for clubs not to change their jerseys in warmups because it’s become a distraction and taking away from the fact that all of our clubs in some form or another host nights in honor of various groups or causes, and we’d rather them continue to get the appropriate attention that they deserve and not be a distraction.”

The majority of Americans looked the other way when it was men buggering each other. But when LGBTQQIAAP2S+ went after our kids, Americans finally said enough is enough. May this be the final Pride Month in the USA.

ITEM 5: Breitbart reported, “A California man who was convicted of killing a mother and daughter Tuesday was released from custody the same day, after a jury convicted him of involuntary manslaughter rather than murder, and he was given credit for time served.”

No, the man’s name was not Hunter Biden, who pleaded guilty to crimes and walked away with no jail time or even a slap on the wrist. Guilty as sin, free as a bird.

His father said, “I’m very proud of my son.”

It’s not dementia; it’s evil.

ITEM 6: The New York Post reported, “Hunter Biden got kicked out of a private sex club for grabbing women’s asses and acting like a spoiled child, the founder exclusively told The Post.

“The president’s troubled son is ‘a really bad guy — not a good person. He’s just not,’ said Damon Lawner, who founded the notorious SNCTM club, where membership ran as high as $75,000 a year. And Hunter’s $10,000 payment led to Lawner receiving an IRS subpoena.”

Where will Hunter go when he gets kicked out of hell?

ITEM 7: Breitbart reported, “Fox News’s Bret Baier and Martha MacCallum will moderate the first Republican presidential debate in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Fox News Media President and Executive Editor Jay Wallace announced on Tuesday.”

Eight years ago, 24 million people watched the first Fox debate starring Donald Trump.

I’m setting the over/under audience for this debate at one-tenth that number as viewers flee the Bud Light of Cable News.

ITEM 8: At a Senate hearing on men invading women’s sports, Kelley Robinson, president of the Human Rights Campaign, said, “Well, I can say that, you know, there’s been this news article about men that think that they could beat Serena Williams in tennis, right? That they think that they could actually score a point on her. And it’s just not the case, she is stronger than —”

Riley Gaines said, “Both Serena and Venus lost to the 203rd ranked male tennis player. My experience — my husband, he swam at University of Kentucky, as well. In terms of accolades and in terms of national ranking, I was a much better score than them. He could kick my butt any day of the week without trying.”

The Williams sisters lost on the same day to the same man — after he had a couple of beers and a smoke.

ITEM 9: The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service listed “The Top Eight Birds We Want to See at Pride This Year.”

Surprisingly, peacocks did not make the list but hummingbirds did. I am not doing that joke.

ITEM 10: The Express reported, “Family reunited with runaway tortoise two years after she went missing from their home.”

Slowest family on Earth.

ITEM 11: Breitbart reported, “On Thursday, the Senate failed to pass a resolution to block the AR-pistol stabilizer brace rule after Sens. Joe Manchin (D-WV) and Jon Tester (D-MT) sided with the ATF instead of their red state constituents.”

You vote for one Democrat, you vote for them all.

ITEM Q:

There was a time when reading The New Yorker was prestigious. That time is long gone.

ITEM 12: Age of Autism reported, “Olmsted on Autism: 1 in 10,000 Amish.”

The rate is 66 per 10,000 for everyone else.

What do the Amish not have that everyone else has?

TV.

ITEM 13: Democrat Congressman Steve Cohen of Tennessee warned John Durham at a congressional hearing, “Your reputation will be damaged as everybody’s reputation who gets involved with Donald Trump is damaged. He’s damaged goods. There’s no good dealing with him, ’cuz you will end up on the bottom of a pile.”

Durham replied, “My concern about my reputation is with the people who I respect, and my family, and my Lord, and I’m perfectly comfortable with my reputation with them, Sir.”

I never liked Durham but I respect that response.

ITEM 14: Harriet Hageman, R-Defeated Liz Cheney, asked him, “How long can our country survive with a two-tiered justice system?”

Durham said, “I don’t think that things can go too much further with the view that law enforcement, particularly the FBI or Department of Justice, runs a two-tiered system of justice. The nation can’t stand under those circumstances.”

Thank you for sending her, Wyoming.

ITEM 15: Senator John Kennedy had to attend another Democrat Senate hearing on LGBTQQIAAP2S+.

America’s favorite senator said, “I've heard better answers on The Dating Game.”

These bozos would take Bachelor No. 4.

ITEM 16: Mark Zuckerberg challenged Elon Musk to a cage match and he accepted. It won’t be Godzilla vs. King Kong.

Catturd has the preview.

ITEM 17: Kelsey Lowery, a Content Specialist for Social Security, sent me an email, “Outdated stats in your article.”

She said, “In your article, you mentioned an outdated statistic. I’m referring to inflation at 7%, which reached 4.9% in April 2023.”

I replied, “Thanks. The article was published in February 2022.

“I apologize for any laughter you may be hearing.”

It was better when government employees sat around and watched online porn all day.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Never turn your back on a man in a cowboy hat who’s just taken off his glasses.

Yep.

I liked this too.

It’s the hat flying that makes the video.

ITEM 18: Red State reported, “Disney’s Chief Diversity Officer, Latondra Newton, is reportedly leaving the company after a controversial six-year tenure. As the leader of Disney’s diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives, Newton was responsible for executing the company’s ‘commitment to produce entertainment that reflects a global audience and sustains a welcoming and inclusive workplace for everyone.’”

I don’t know if she had anything to do with its movies but this Pride Month has seen Disney drop more bombs than Hitler in the London Blitz. It turns out moms and dads won’t take their kids to see pictures about non-binary lesbian drag queens. Guess what? People know when it comes to children don’t say gay!

ITEM 19: The Jeff Bezos Post reported, “Meteorologist resigns, citing PTSD from threats over climate change coverage.”

The threats came from one loony man a year ago who was fined $105 plus $76 in court costs for harassing TV weatherman Chris Gloninger. The Post made it seem as if there were this vast right-wing conspiracy out to get him. It was just one man.

Gloninger said, “I don’t want to be the news. I wanted to bring awareness to the fact that it’s not just me, it’s other climate scientists, scientists, journalists.”

Oh baloney. Just tell me if it is going to rain tomorrow. Save the sermons for Sunday school.

ITEM 20: J.D. Rucker reported, “The Biden-Harris Regime Knew the Submersible Imploded Sunday but Milked the Story to Cover Up Their Scandals.

“They found a tragedy. They dragged it out as long as possible to keep people from focusing on their scandals. The Biden Crime Family and their regime are pure evil.”

You couldn’t cover up their crimes with the Great Wall of China.

ITEM 21: The Daily Caller reported, “Internal Revenue Service whistleblower Gary Shapley confirmed in testimony to the House Ways and Means Committee that the Federal Bureau of Investigation knew Hunter Biden’s laptop was authentic as far back as November 2019.”

We will never see Hunter Biden go to prison, but what about sending Bill Barr there? He aided and abetted Hunter’s crimes. Prosecute and send a message to all the fat flunkies in DC.

ITEM 22: Evie reported, “According to a new study published by Scientific Reports, attractive women were more likely to be right-wing, while women whose faces displayed contempt were more likely to be left-wing.”

Hillary vs. Melanie. Case closed.

ITEM 23: CNBC reported, “Some union-organized Starbucks stores will strike across the U.S. starting Friday in Seattle after the coffee giant and the union representing baristas publicly clashed over claims that the company was not allowing Pride month decor in cafes.”

Cool. Will anyone go on strike next Christmas when Starbucks won’t allow nativity scenes?

ITEM 24: The Washington Free Beacon reported: “Democrat Donor Arrested for Starting Massive Fire Democrats Blamed on Climate Change.”

Greta Thunberg was right. Forest fires are manmade.

ITEM 25: Newsweek reported, “Resurfaced Clip of Volodymyr Zelensky Dancing in High Heels Goes Viral.”

We gave $100 billion to a drag queen.

ITEM 26: The Miami Herald reported, “When is DeSantis governing vs. campaigning? The line — and the ethics — can be blurry.”

Given that this newspaper hates everything he does as governor, you would think the Herald would help him campaign just to get rid of him.

ITEM 27: In a story about the new CEO of the Jeff Bezos Post donating to Democrats (surprise, surprise, Sergeant Carter), the Washington Free Beacon reported this “will likely do little to quash accusations that the newspaper's owner, fellow Democratic donor and billionaire founder of Amazon Jeff Bezos, influences editorial decisions.”

Um, what’s the point of buying a newspaper if you don’t influence decisions? Newspapers are lousy at reporting most things, but their coverage of their industry is when reporters are at their lousiest.

ITEM 28: The Daily Wire reported, “A former New Hampshire state representative and the nation’s first transgender-identifying state lawmaker was arrested by police this week and charged for allegedly distributing child pornography. “

This follows an April 26 NBC report that said, “Montana House Republicans voted Wednesday to censure Rep. Zooey Zephyr, a Democrat and Montana's first transgender state legislator. The vote came roughly a week after Zephyr told lawmakers they would have blood on their hands if they supported a measure to restrict gender-affirming care for minors and two days after she was accused of inciting protesters in the chamber.”

These are the firsts. I cannot wait to see what crimes the second-string of T-girl legislators do.

ITEM 29: Elon Musk decided cis and cisgender are slurs for normal people and will be treated as such on Twitter.

People who cheered the banishment of Donald Trump from Twitter called Musk a free speech hypocrite.