Highlights of the week

ITEM 1: The Washington Times reported, “Whistleblower: James Comey had FBI ‘honey pot’ spies infiltrate Trump’s 2016 campaign.”

The honey pots were FBI agents.

Jimmy the Pimp.

ITEM 2: Insider Paper reported, “A Court in Russia has recently mandated that Google owes approximately $20 decillion ($20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) in fines to Russian media networks for blocking their content, with the penalty potentially increasing further.”

No problem. They will take the money out of petty cash.

ITEM 3: The WLT Report reported, “President Trump has filed a lawsuit against CBS News for $10 billion, alleging the network deceptively edited its interview with Kamala Harris.”

My advice to CBS: don’t hire the lawyers who represented Alex Jones.

ITEM 4: The Times of Israel reported, “A major international LGBTQ rights group has dismissed out of hand a motion by an Israeli member organization to host its World Conference in Tel Aviv, proceeding to suspend the Israeli organization.”

May I suggest they hold the conference in Teheran?

ITEM 5: The New York Post reported, “LA erupts into chaos following Dodgers’ World Series victory with looters raiding Nike store, ‘hostile’ mob burning a bus.”

Police dispersed the crowd by telling them it was the 7th inning, and being good little Dodgers fans, they all drove home to beat the traffic.

ITEM 6: National Review was scary on Halloween, saying, “It’s Breaking Bad for Republicans in New Mexico.”

Democrats have carried the state 7 of the last 8 times. What’s next? A story that Trump won’t take Washington DC?

ITEM 7: FJB said, “Donald Trump has no character. He doesn’t give a damn about the Latino community. . .just the other day, a speaker at his rally called Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage. . .The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters.”

Hillary calls us deplorable. Kamala calls us Nazis. Biden calls us garbage. Trump calls us Americans.

MAGA is not garbage. MAGA is men like Scott Presler traveling to Baltimore and picking up 12 tons of garbage that Democrats threw out in the streets.

ITEM 8: Collin Rugg tweeted, “Donald Trump hits an all time high against Kamala Harris on political betting platform Polymarket as Biden calls half the voting population garbage.

“The statement by Biden completely overshadowed Harris’ ‘Closing Argument’ speech last evening.”

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and in this case, FJB is Wonder Woman.

ITEM 9: The Jerusalem Post reported, “Hezbollah agrees to withdraw beyond Litani River as US pushes for pre-election deal, but Israeli officials remain skeptical.”

A truce now would benefit Kamala. Why would Bibi give the anti-Semitic Obama four more years to screw Israel over?

ITEM 10: Joey Mannarino tweeted, “The Supreme Court has just ruled that Virginia can remove deceased and illegal voters from their voter rolls!”

Democrats are at the cemeteries today mourning the loss of all those voters.

ITEM 11: The Jeff Bezos Post said, “Mike Johnson vows major changes to Affordable Care Act if Trump wins election.”

Sure, sure, sure. Right after they build the wall, jettison the Department of Education, and balance the budget.

ITEM 12: Just the News reported, “Nearly all of the looters arrested in Pinellas County in Florida after hurricanes Helene and Milton were illegal migrants.”

The wind must have blown them in from Haiti.

ITEM 13: Jason Calvi tweeted that the Marquette Law School Poll has Kamala up by 1 point in Wisconsin.

Its final poll had Hillary up by 6 in the Cheese State in 2016.

Polls and predictions are political astrology.

ITEM 14: Pat Sajak tweeted on Wednesday night, “Noticed I was trending. Thought I had passed away. Turns out I’m fine.”

Grace Slick also trended on Wednesday because it was her 85th birthday. She credited her longevity to sex and drug and rock ’n’ roll — but in far more colorful language.

ITEM 15: Trump War Room tweeted with a video, “Kamala comes unglued after her speech is repeatedly interrupted by protesters: ‘RIGHT NOW I AM SPEAKING!’ ”

And get off her lawn!

ITEM 16: Fox reported, “CNN senior data reporter Harry Enten broke down the signs pointing to a potential victory for former President Trump next week.”

Well he was in the NBA Finals and the new sequel to Home Alone 2.

What? You thought I would forget?

ITEM 17: Page Six reported, “Former Playboy model claims Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs made her watch Jennifer Lopez video at ‘Freak Off.’ ”

What’s the problem? There’s always room for J’Lo.

ITEM 18: FJB released Steve Bannon from the American Gulag after 4 months in prison for ignoring a congressional subpoena.

FJB’s secretary of homeland security did the same thing but wasn’t even arrested.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

ITEM 19: Glenn Beaton reported, “Staffers quit and 200,000 subscribers cancel after WaPo says its role is to report the news.”

Bezos woke reporters and editors up to the fact that they are easily replaceable low-paid wage slaves who provide copy that fits in between the ads.

ITEM 20: The Times of Israel reported, “IDF releases headcam footage from soldier during killing of Hamas leader Sinwar.”

He died after running into a dead-end tunnel, whimpering and crying and screaming all the way. Oh wait. That was this guy.

ITEM 21: Fox reported, “Presidential predictor Allan Lichtman stands by call that Harris will win 2024 election.”

He said there are 13 keys to winning the election and she has most of them.

I say there is only one key: the key to the tabulation machines.

ITEM 22: Trump said, “Let’s put her with a rifle standing there with nine barrels shooting at her, ok? Let’s see how she feels about it, you know, when the guns are trained on her face. You know, they’re all warhawks when they’re sitting in Washington in a nice building saying, ‘Oh, gee, let’s send 10,000 troops right into the mouth of the enemy.’

“But she’s a stupid person, and I used to have, I’d have meetings with a lot of people, and she always wanted to go to war with people. So whether it’s her, whether it’s — I was surprised a little bit with Dick Cheney. I didn’t know him at all. I only had essentially the one or two phone calls, and it was only a call saying, ‘Thank you very much for doing that for Scooter Libby, that was nice.’ ”

The media said this means he will execute her.

Hey, FJB, I found your garbage.

Jimmy Failla tweeted, “If Trump really wanted a rifle pointed at Liz Cheney’s face, he’d sent her hunting with her dad.”

OK, it was a shotgun, but I still laughed.

ITEM 23: End Wokeness tweeted, “GOP candidate with a crowd of cheering Muslims slamming Liz Cheney while the Democrat is campaigning with her. What a time to be alive.”

That’s OK. Liz brings the Kermit vote for Kamala.

ITEM 24: CNN reported, “The U.S, economy added 12,000 jobs in October as hurricanes and strikes impacted data collection for the government’s monthly employment report, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.”

Plus Biden is president.

ITEM 25: AP said, “Texas hospitals must now ask patients whether they’re in the U.S. legally. Here’s how it works.”

People who demand patients tell their doctors if they own a gun are going hysterical over this.

ITEM 26: Kamala said, “Let’s move forward and see where we are.”

She’s lost.

ITEM 27: Ian Jaeger tweeted, “Democrat Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz says we NEED illegal immigration because they pick our crops.”

That was the same argument Democrats made for slavery.

ITEM 28: Coach Tim Walz tweeted, “Huddle up, team. It’s the final quarter.”

Final quarter? That’s when you are down to your last 25-cent coin. It’s the fourth quarter. Maybe he coached badminton.

ITEM 29: Andy Kaczynski tweeted, “The Harris campaign is targeting Jews in PA and Arabs in Michigan with entirely different messages on Gaza. PA ads highlight her support for Israel’s ability to defend itself, while Michigan ads say she will not be silent on Gaza.”

And she’ll lose both states.

ITEM 30: Dr. Maalouf tweeted, “Tajikistan, where 97% of the population is Muslim, has officially banned the Islamic hijab throughout the country.

“The government of Tajikistan stated: ‘Hijabs are an alien culture and a cultural invasion. Women in this country do not cover their hair!’ ”

Wow. I’ll bet they don’t even stone rape victims there.

ITEM 31: Newsweek asked, “Could Elon Musk Be Deported For Immigration Violation?”

Finally, liberals found someone to deport.

FINALLY, two polls today.