Highlights of the week

Four polls today as we toss out the bad year and hope for a good one.

ITEM 1: AP reported, “AP Breakthrough Entertainer: Reneé Rapp has always known what she wants — and isn't afraid to say no.”

Big deal. So did Veruca Salt.

ITEM 2: The New York Post reported, “Inside Disney’s disastrous year of box office flops.”

Well, the public has grown bored of movies made for children and families. They want serious adult dramas like Barbie (No. 1 in the box office worldwide) and Super Mario Brothers (No. 2).

ITEM 3: The story said, “The first was in February with Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Despite an all-star cast including Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer and Bill Murray, the $200 million-priced film earned only $215 million domestically and $476 million worldwide, far short of the $600 million it needed to break even on its theatrical run, according to Variety.”

The film brought in $476 million and Disney still managed to lose money on it. That is an achievement worthy of the federal government.

BONUS POLL: What was the word or words of the year?

ITEM 4: The New York Post reported, “The Israeli mom who famously used her baking skills to stall her Hamas kidnappers on October 7 is now sharing the cookie recipe that saved her family’s life.

“‘I had them wrapped around my little finger, those nasty monsters,’ Rachel Edri says in an Instagram video as she baked.

“Edri, who successfully distracted five Hamas gunmen until an Israeli SWAT team rescued her and her husband, shared the recipe for the cookies she made for the terrorists.”

Her cookies are to die for.

ITEM 5: Breitbart reported, “Ukraine Celebrates Christmas on 25th, Rather Than Orthodox Jan 7th, For First Time to Signal Westernization.”

Who the hell is he to cancel the Orthodox Christmas?

No elections. No freedom of religion. Billions coming in from the USA and other marks. Are we sure Zelensky didn’t ask Putin to invade because the Big Z is quickly turning a one-term gig into a lifetime dictatorship.

ITEM 6: NBC reported, “Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colorado, announced Wednesday that she’ll be seeking the GOP nomination next year in a neighboring congressional district that’s solidly Republican, instead of her district where she eked out a win during the 2022 midterms.

“Boebert said she would be running in Colorado’s 4th Congressional District, where fellow Republican Rep. Ken Buck previously announced he would not seek re-election. Last year, Boebert won a second term representing the 3rd Congressional District after beating her Democratic opponent by less than 600 votes.”

Ah, but will the Colorado Supreme Court allow her to be on the ballot?

ITEM 7: The Daily Beast reported, “Nikki Haley Seemingly Forgets Slavery When Asked to Name Cause of Civil War.”

Haley will make a great vice president for President Christie.

ITEM 8: Post Millennial reported, “Vice President Kamala Harris and President Joe Biden posted Christmas greetings, but they declined to mention the reason for the season, the baby Jesus.”

They tried to make Christmas all about Ho, Ho Joe and the Hoe.

But Joe loves Christmas. It is the time of year he gets to play Santa and share secrets with children while they sit on his lap.

ITEM 9: The New York Post reported, “Beer sales in the US are expected to plunge to their lowest level since 1999 — largely due to Bud Light’s massive falloff after its disastrous tie-up with transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney, industry experts said.

“Sales declined by more than 5% in the first nine months of the year, dragged down not only by the backlash and boycotts against Anheuser-Busch-owned Bud Light but the changing habits of younger drinkers, according to Beer Marketer’s Insights.”

The girly men hate the taste of beer and the manly men are all powering up on energy drinks. The rest of the industry ought to thank Dylan Mulvaney for chasing the few remaining customers to them.

ITEM 10: The Daily Beast reported, “College Chancellor Canned for Secret Life as Vegan Porn Star.”

I would have fired him for being a vegan.

ITEM 11: Tommy Smothers died at 86.

No, he did not fall into a vat of chocolate.

ITEM 12: Mediaite reported, “Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold (D) said that the Colorado Supreme Court was right to kick former President Donald Trump off the state’s ballot, but nevertheless said that he would appear on it unless the U.S. Supreme Court quickly upholds the decision in a statement released on Thursday morning.”

She just earned a gold medal in the women’s freestyle back pedal.

ITEM 13: Meanwhile in Maine, the secretary of state banned Trump.

Democrat elections officers act like it is 2019 and they are running Twitter.

BONUS POLL: What was story of the year?

Just a reminder, when Trump was president the media complained about all the Diet Coke in the White House. The media is silent about the real coke Biden brought in.

ITEM 14: The Washington Times reported, “Intelligence analysts are poring over Hamas’s 65 million computer files and half a million documents, all of which Israeli troops have collected since Oct. 27 when they invaded the Gaza Strip.”

The story does not mention October 7 when Palestinian soldiers in civilian clothes invaded and raped, murdered and mutilated more than 1,300 civilians. It’s like saying the Civil War was not about slavery.

ITEM 15: Fox reported, “Mexican officials use bulldozers to clear migrant tent camp at U.S. border.”

Bulldozers! What a brilliant idea. And don’t let the illegals backhoe.

ITEM 16: Deadline reported, “Eminem’s handlers are arguing that he’s the real Slim Shady, and all others should not be allowed to trademark the Shady phrase, which is closely identified with the rapper thanks to his song The Real Slim Shady.

“Thus, they have requested a protective order against Real Housewives of Potomac reality stars Gizelle Bryant and Robyn Dixon, the latest volley in their ongoing dispute over the reality stars attempt at trademarking their Reasonably Shady podcast.”

A certain candy company may like a word with Marshall Mathers over his rap star name.

ITEM 17: Breitbart reported, “Gaston Glock, the handgun designer who changed the world, died on Wednesday at 94 years of age.”

He saved thousands of lives. He also gave the world good advice: “Make it Simple, Make it Perfect.”

He was 53 when he made his first gun, the Glock 17, in 1982.

ITEM 18: The New York Post reported, “Nikki Haley dissed by 9-year-old at NH town hall: You’re ‘the new John Kerry.’”

Is he saying John Kerry was wrong about the Civil War, too?

BONUS POLL: Who was the dummy of the year?

ITEM 19: Fox reported, “China names new defense minister, replacing former official who disappeared.”

In Red China, all the top jobs are lifetime positions. That’s not necessarily a good thing because instead of a gold watch, you get a lead bullet when you leave.

ITEM 20: NYT reported, “Death by Doctor May Soon Be Available for the Mentally Ill in Canada.”

Canada’s Medicare has become Mengelecare.

ITEM 21: Insider reported, “Congress ‘must step up’ to help Ukraine after massive Russian strikes: Biden.”

That’s an excellent idea. Send Congress to Kyiv. Have McConnell, Pelosi and the rest put down their books and pick up a gun. They’re gonna have a whole lot of fun.

ITEM 22: Tom Cruise rode a motorcycle off a cliff.

Six times.

Now that’s risky business.

ITEM 23: Just the News reported, “Ohio Republican Gov. Mike DeWine went against his own party on Friday and vetoed a bill that would have banned gender-affirming treatments for [the mutilation of] minors and kept transgender athletes [boys] out of women’s sports.”

He’s a Democrat who identifies as a Republican. Keep trans-socialists out of conservative politics.

ITEM 24: A DOJ press release said, “New Jersey Man Charged With Attempting To Provide Material Support To Al Shabaab.”

His name is Karrem Nasr.

NYPD Commissioner Edward A. Caban said: “Instead of embracing all that the United States had to offer him, Mr. Nasr allegedly moved abroad and committed himself to supporting a foreign terrorist organization.”

Nasr should have run for Congress where jihadists are doing far more damage.

ITEM 25: Lou Holtz was trending on Twitter last night because he’s feuding with Ohio State’s football coach who lost another big game.

Someone posted Holtz’s commencement speech. Hilarious, inspirational and spot on.

(“There’s only 7 notes. Look what Beethoven did with those 7 notes. There are only 10 numbers. Look what Bernie Madoff did with those 10 numbers.”)

FINALLY, as 2023 comes to a close, I recall the three words that kept me sane through decades of despair as a Cleveland Indians fan.

Wait’ll next year.