Highlights of the week

In 30 days, Trump returns as president

ITEM 1: WKRC reported, “[Virginian] man dies after bear shot from tree falls onto him.”

And Floridians say cold iguanas falling out of trees are a big problem.

ITEM 2: RNC Research tweeted, “Biden Pentagon spokesman Pat Ryder says he ‘recently learned’ there are actually 2,000+ U.S. troops deployed in Syria—far more than the 900 they had previously announced.”

Great military we have there. It doesn’t know where its troops are, failed its last 7 audits and Defense Secretary Austin was MIA for a month before anybody noticed.

First thing Pete Hegseth should do when he takes over is call Red China and find out where all our troops are.

ITEM 3: Congress rejected a continuing resolution on Thursday after voters caught wind of what actually was in the 1,547-page spending monstrosity.

Democrat Congressman Richard Neal took the House floor and said, “We reached an agreement and a TWEET changed all of it? Can you imagine what the next 2 years are gonna be like, if every time Congress works its will—and then there's a tweet, [or someone] who threatens Republicans with a primary, and they succumb?”

And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling deplorables!

Jesse Watters tweeted items in the continuing resolution, including $500,000 for a DEI zoo. Dr. Evil will be so happy to know there finally will be an evil petting zoo.

RUSH LIMBAUGH, February 26, 2013:

Look, spending money is a member of Congress’s job. Spending money is a senator’s job. After getting re-elected, that’s the job. That’s how you stay in office, is spending the money. That’s how you buy votes. That’s how you buy loyalty. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle. But your question’s a good one because you’re wondering where did the money come from. I know what you’re asking: “There hasn’t been a budget allocating it, so where did we get the authority to spend it?”

Continuing resolutions.

That’s the only analysis you need.

ITEM 4: Jeremy Kauffman tweeted, “People calling for the government to be shut down should think about what they’re saying.

“Do you really want local schools without oversight from Washington?

“Are you comfortable owning guns without the ATF around?

“And who will audit your taxes to make sure you paid enough?”

Genius! He remembers Rule 5 of the Rules for Radicals: Mock them mercilessly.

Sadly, last night Congress decided not to shut down the government.

But Wall Street Mav tweeted, “President Trump just got a massive win in Congress. After he blocked the Swamp 1,500+ page version, he got a clean version without the pay raises and without the most of the other junk like NFL stadium and vaccine mandates.

“More importantly, he secured legitimate funding for disaster aid for farmers and states affected by the hurricanes. He cut the bill from 1,500 pages to less than 150. Trump also removed J6 Committee immunity and blocked funding for the State Department censorship department.”

It is only fitting that after the 2020 steal, Trump gets a few extra months this time as president.

ITEM 5: The New York Post reported, “Disney renews George Stephanopoulos’ contract—with pay cut—despite $16M Trump settlement because it didn’t want ‘his blood on their hands’: source.”

George gets to keep his job at ABC but he also has to play Pinocchio in Disney’s live action remake. The costume fits. Rachel Zegler co-stars as Jiminy Cricket.

(“When you wish upon a star, a racist pig is what you are.”)

ITEM 6: NBC reported, “A Georgia appellate court Thursday disqualified Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis and removed her from prosecuting Donald Trump and co-defendants in a case she brought over his efforts to overturn the 2020 election.”

It’s official. We no longer care watchoo talking about, Willis.

ITEM 7: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “A Maryland woman dubbed the Black Widow for murdering two husbands and a boyfriend for insurance money is now free after President Joe Biden commuted her 40-year prison sentence, undercutting the White House’s claim that Biden released only non-violent offenders in a clemency bonanza last week.”

Biden is just helping out a widow.

ITEM 8: Mediaite reported, “The Everett Leader-Herald, a storied Massachusetts newspaper that was the mainstay of community coverage for nearly fourteen decades, is shutting its doors for good after a bitter defamation legal battle cost the paper $1.1 million over fabricated reporting about the mayor of Everett.”

Oh no! They created a news desert. Who will be left to publish lies about the mayor?

ITEM 9: The Washington Times reported, “Oscar Mayer taking applications to drive the Wienermobile around U.S.”

Tom Cruise should apply. It is the closest he’ll get to an Oscar.

ITEM 10: The New York Post reported, “Additional 250 National Guard troops will flood subways to keep holiday straphangers safe, Hochul announces.”

If only New York City had a police department.

ITEM 11: NBC reported, “House Republicans say Liz Cheney should be investigated over Jan. 6 committee work.”

The federal women’s prison in Alderson, WV, does not have its own congressional district but it may get a congresswoman.

Well, ex.

ITEM 12: Zero Hedge reported, “Kamala Lands $20 Million Book Deal And People Have Questions.”

They didn’t re-publish The Art of the Deal and The Art of the Comeback. Andy Rooney wonders why that is.

ITEM 13: AP reported, “Invasive ‘murder hornets’ are wiped out in the U.S., officials say.”

What happened to biodiversity?

ITEM 14: The Daily Mail reported that PornHub will block Floridians from viewing its site beginning January 1. Florida will be the 13th state blocked.

If PornHub can block entire states, why can’t it block children?

ITEM 15: Politico reported, “First Amendment advocates worry about an emboldened Trump using civil litigation to target journalists he dislikes.”

By dislikes, Politico means claiming he was found guilty of rape. He was not. He was not even charged with rape.

ITEM 16: The Post Millennial reported, “American Airlines will no longer be recruiting and hiring based on the dictates of diversity, equity and inclusion policies. The company admitted that the policy is a violation of federal laws that protect equal access to employment, America First Legal announced Tuesday.”

Now to get the government to follow the law.

ITEM 17: The New York Post reported, “Disney axes transgender storyline from upcoming Win or Lose series: report.”

Don’t worry, weirdos. In Pixar’s Cars 5, Mater transforms from stick shift to automatic.

ITEM 18: Paul Bedard reported, “President-elect Donald Trump is arriving at the White House armed with a legal weapon that will let him fire any of President Joe Biden’s appointees.

“Thanks in part to a court fight former Trump White House spokesman Sean Spicer lost over his firing by Biden from a three-year term to the Board of Visitors to the United States Naval Academy, the incoming president will have the legal backing to dump any of Biden’s over 4,000 appointments who try to stick around.”

As Obama said, never underestimate the ability of FJB to F things up.

ITEM 19: Reuters reported, “Canada pledges beefed-up border, immigration restrictions to appease Trump.”

His threat of statehood, not tariffs, was the horse’s head in the bed for them.

ITEM 20: The Dispatch reported, “Mainstreaming Junk Science.”

Yes, junk science became mainstream. Many people believe climate change, masks stop a virus and the ozone layer is shrinking. Don’t get me started on acid rain.

ITEM 21: On Thursday, the Wall Street Journal finally admitted FJB has had dementia all along. Every media outlet it seems hopped aboard the bandwagon. You know what that means.

Democrats are promoting her to President Cackler.

ITEM 22: NYT is livid that Trump is replacing the Faucis of the FBI, IRS and Voice of America. Can you spot the contradiction in this paragraph?

Under federal law, none are supposed to be treated like ordinary political appointees whom incoming presidents immediately replace with their own selections as a matter of course. While Mr. Trump has the legal power to do so, he is violating a norm of self-restraint that past presidents, including himself, adhered to.

Move over Fake But Accurate. Here comes Legal But Somehow Against the Law.

ITEM 23: Nancy Pelosi called Trump the puppet of Elon Musk.

I thought he was Putin’s puppet.

ITEM 24: Ars Technica reported, “We’re about to fly a spacecraft into the Sun for the first time.”

Don’t worry. They’ll do it at night.

ITEM 25: Sam Stein tweeted, “Pediatric cancer research advocates spent years building up to this week. They celebrated when their priorities were included in the CR. And then, Elon began tweeting.”

Federal funding of the research is an annual gift.

ITEM 26: AP said, “At least 2 dead and 60 hurt after a car drives into a German Christmas market in a suspected attack.”

Cars just drive themselves in Germany.

It had one passenger, a Saudi Arabian man who was seated in the left front seat. Luckily, he was unhurt as he was protected by this big old wheel thing in front of him.

ITEM 27: Ian Miles Cheong tweeted, “According to reports from UAE and Saudi Arabian 𝕏 users, the perpetrator of the Christmas market attack in Magdeburg, Germany is a fugitive from Saudi Arabia.

“The German government refused to extradite him despite requests from the Saudi government, citing human rights concerns.”

Is not getting run over by an international fugitive’s car a human right? Asking for a couple of dead friends.

ITEM 28: The Times of Israel reported, “Netanyahu won’t attend Auschwitz liberation anniversary event, fearing arrest by Poland.”

Nearly 80 years after the war ended, Poles are still locking up Jews.

ITEM 29: AP reported, “White House starts scrapping pending regulations on transgender athletes and student debt.”

I don’t care if you are an XY trying to be an XX: You are paying back your student loan.

ITEM 30: Politico posted “The Worst Political Predictions of 2024.”

The first one was attributed to John Harwood—“Joe Biden won’t pardon Hunter.”

That wasn’t a prediction. That was a quote.

FINALLY, all joking aside, the Battle of the Continuing Resolution was a huge win for President Trump—bigger than any legislative victory he had in his first term.

This outcome bodes well for finally draining the swamp. As Limbaugh said many years ago, spending money is what congressmen and senators do. Trump showed them they need a co-signer—him.

Democrats used their old trick on spending. They stick all the pork in one piece of legislation and wait until the Christmas break to vote. If it doesn’t pass, the government shuts down and Republicans catch all the blame.

Trump had an ace in the hole. He’s not president. Sure, shut the government down and FJB and Democrats get the blame. He even said shut it down until he is president in 30 days.

Those calling for Mike Johnson’s head don’t understand that this was his doing. He had agreed to a 1,500-page bill only to have it crash and burn as he knew it would. Plan B failed. Plan C succeeded.

Trump trusts Johnson. I see no reason not to. When you expect perfection, you only guarantee disappointment.

Musk’s cry of primarying the obstructionists has tightened sphincters in both parties because they all have a Harriet Hageman in their district awaiting the call up to the major leagues.

The swamp critters and RINOs played Trump repeatedly in his first term. This time around, he knows how to beat them at their own game.

As he did this week.