Highlights of the week

Let's start the day with a touch of Trumpenfreude

ITEM 1: The National File reported, “The Red Hen, a Lexington, Virginia, restaurant that became known to many as the ‘Commie Cluck’ after its owner barred Trump Administration Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her family from eating there, is closing its doors, apparently becoming just the latest left-wing icon to fall victim to the infamous Trump Curse.”

Chick-fil-A is opening a restaurant in the town next month.

Sanders now is governor of Arkansas. I love happy endings.

ITEM 2: A little more Trumpenfreude, this time from Paula Bolyard.

She wrote, “A comparison of Similiar Web (a site that ranks websites based on various metrics) shows that Drudge was listed as #41 in the nation with 164 million visits in October 2018. Currently, the site ranks at #145 with 51 million visits in October 2023. That’s a major, major drop.”

He’s shedding his audience so fast, he could be a Disney movie.

ITEM 3: Fox reported, “Massive crocodile dubbed ‘Croczilla’ sunbathes at Everglades National Park in Florida, video shows.”

Wildlife photographer Kym Clark wrote, “Croczilla was quite possibly just as happy to see me as I was to see him! We only met one other time, but it was definitely love at first sight.”

She’s thinking love; he’s thinking lunch.

ITEM 4: Politico reported, “Nikki Haley is consolidating the Never Trump vote.”

That’s 12 votes right there.

ITEM 5: The Washington Examiner reported, “A Christian school in Vermont has filed a lawsuit against the state’s education agency after the school was banned from participating in intercollegiate sports for refusing to play a game against a girl’s basketball team with a biological male who identifies as a girl on it.”

America has an official state-sponsored religion. It is called atheism.

ITEM 6: NBC reported, “More than half of American voters — 52% — say they or someone in their household owns a gun, per the latest NBC News national poll.”

That’s up from 42% a decade ago.

Mini-Mike Bloomberg’s multi-million-dollar gun control campaign is working about as well as Kamala’s border control.

ITEM 7: Variety reported, “Daryl Hall Gets Restraining Order Against John Oates in Hall & Oates Legal Battle.”

I guess the reunion tour is dead.

ITEM 8: The New York Post reported, “Dolly Parton, 77, rocks skimpy Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit during NFL halftime show as Tony Romo declares: ‘She’s wonderful.’”

Skimpy. As if there were another kind of Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit.

ITEM 9: Breitbart reported, “West Virginia Attorney General Patrick Morrisey leads Moore Capito in a bid for the Republican nomination for governor, according to a poll released on Wednesday.”

This is a Republican Establishment challenge to MAGA in Trump country. Capito is the grandson of the beloved Arch Moore who was the only hope for Republicans for decades. His daughter has served in Congress since 2001 becoming the state’s first Republican senator in 52 years in 2011 after she spent 10 years in the House.

But Morrisey is the real deal. His West Virginia vs. EPA case was a Supreme Court victory over the federal bureaucracy. Trump backs him 100%. An 8 point lead six months ahead of the primary is nice and all but with 23% undecided, Morrisey should take nothing for granted. After 16 years of winning and holding an office Democrats owned for seven-plus decades, the GOPe still treats him like an outsider.

ITEM 10: Bloomberg reported, “Far-right lawmaker Geert Wilders won the Dutch elections and said he plans to lead the country’s next government, in a shock result that will resound across Europe.”

Ah, but can he handle a chainsaw?

ITEM 11: The College Fix reported, “Ohio State University prioritized DEI over merit in hiring, according to a document dump obtained and reviewed by John Sailer, director of university policy at the National Association of Scholars.”

The systemic racism favors anyone who isn’t white.

The Elizabeth Warren scandal was not that she lied about being an Indian but that Harvard still hired people based on the color of their skin.

ITEM 12: Curtis Sliwa tweeted, “The Coney Island Guardian Angels are looking after Yolanda, 22 years old and 9 months pregnant. She was staying in a shelter in NYC, but removed to make room for more migrants. How can NYC cut resources for Yolanda but add more services for the migrant crisis?”

God bless the Coney Island Guardian Angels for taking her in. But it is Coney Island. I envision them feeding her elephant ears, popcorn balls and cotton candy.

ITEM 13: The New York Post reported, “Sam Bankman-Fried paid jailhouse inmate for haircut using mackerel as currency: report.”

Only fish were involved in the transaction, making it a wholly mackerel deal.

ITEM 14: Just one question.

Who will be his Beavis?

ITEM 15: News.com.au reported, “Violent riots [fiery but mostly peaceful protests] have erupted in Dublin after unconfirmed reports that a foreign national was responsible for a random stabbing attack on three children on Thursday that left a five-year-old girl fighting for life.

“Protesters torched multiple vehicles, looted stores and clashed with police near the site of the attack on Thursday night. Footage also appeared to show a hotel, which according to unconfirmed reports was housing migrants, being set ablaze by protesters.”

Torched vehicles. Looted stores. Clashes with police. Dublin has become Baltimore.

ITEM 16: Breitbart reported, “A cadre of pro-Palestinian activists disrupted the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when they covered themselves in fake blood and glued themselves to the middle of 6th Avenue.”

Thanksgiving? I thought it was supposed to be another gay pride parade.

And aren’t climate control freaks the ones who glue themselves to streets?

Oh how I long for the good old days when these cashews just knelt during the national anthem.

ITEM 17: ABC reported, “Thanksgiving could soon become another victim of climate change as rising temperatures threaten the abundance and quality of the ingredients used to make traditional dishes seen year after year.”

Well, that should make the decolonize crowd happy. They can turn the fourth Thursday in November into Indigenous Famine Day.

ITEM 18: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “60% Believe Biden Participated in Hunter's Business Dealings: Poll.”

Only 40% think he might be clean, but 46% have a favorable view of Biden.

Americans love crooks.

ITEM 19: Politico reported, “Former Gov. Andrew Cuomo is indicating to allies he may want to run for New York City mayor if fellow Democrat Eric Adams sinks under the weight of a federal investigation.”

Only in New York City is the reform candidate the man who killed 15,000 grannies.

ITEM 20: Zero Hedge reported, “Ukraine's top military commander, Valery Zaluzhny, acknowledged in a recent essay that training and recruiting troops was becoming a serious challenge.”

It is hard to recruit soldiers to fight for democracy when your president cancels the election.

The sole purpose of NATO’s participation in this war is to feed the war machine, which generates the bribes and kickbacks to finance the lifestyle politicians are accustomed to.

ITEM 21: Roger Stone reported, “When Steve Bannon and Peter Navarro declined to testify to the January 6 committee when subpoenaed they were both quickly prosecuted. Now the Bidens seek to avoid their subpoenaed testimony to the Oversight Committee. Will the DOJ prosecute them?”

President Trump should.

ITEM 23: NYT reported, “Chris Jankowski, the chief executive of the Never Back Down super PAC, stepped down as internal disputes among supporters of Ron DeSantis intensified.”

The Never Back Down PAC’s message is step down instead. It’s safer and prevents falls.

FINALLY, a reader sent a tribute to 1960s satirist Tom Lehrer whose songs entertained Washington’s elitists and those who sought to emulate them. The reader said, “Until there is a Muslim equivalent to Tom Lehrer's The Vatican Rag, nothing can get better.”

Ah yes. How did it go again?

First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Well, I’ll take that as a challenge although Lehrer’s tune is a little lame. I prefer Mel Brooks and his French Mistake from Blazing Saddles.

Face to the East
Throw down your rug
Kneel on the mat
Give it a tug . . .

Lehrer’s 95 now. His show biz career (he also taught math at MIT, Harvard and the like) was in a time before diversity, equity and inclusion when people could still be irreverent and not have to worry about a violent retaliation. There never will be a Mecca Rag not because of the Muslims, but because liberals have turned free speech into censoring people for hate speech.