Highlights of the week

Metallica before they changed their name.

ITEM 1: Ultra-extreme left-wing Democrats finally indicted President Trump after six years of trying.

Today is Trans Vengeance Day. Thursday was Obama’s. How dare Trump say Obama was born in Kenya — which Obama claimed in publicizing his first book.

Sorry, Ron, but my head just told me to listen to my heart. TRUMP 2024.

ITEM 2A: NBC said, “Tensions flare over gun violence after House Democrat calls Republicans ‘cowards’ as they walk by.”

Not the Bee reported, “Unhinged Dem Rep. Jamaal Bowman screams in Rep. Thomas Massie’s face, puts hands on him on House floor.”

Good thing Bowman didn’t have a cane.

ITEM III: NBC reported, “Weeks before DeSantis takeover, Disney gave itself new powers over special Orlando district, document shows.”

The story said Disney used a royal lives clause to give itself power over the district “until 21 years after the death of the last surviving descendants of King Charles III, King of England.”

Suuuuuuuure. The courts will uphold bowing to Chuckles the Crown.

The fairy talers who now run Disney believe in Prince Charming. Never drink your own moonshine, boys.

ITEM 7: AP propagandized, “Mass school shootings kill 175 from Columbine to Nashville.”

Columbine was 24 years ago. That’s roughly 7 deaths a year — mostly under Democrat presidents (we have had 12 years of presidents from each party).

ITEM 13: WHBQ-TV in Memphis reported, “7 shot, 2 dead outside Prive restaurant, police say.”

The story said, “Prive Restaurant has connections to Memphis rapper Yo Gotti.”

This mass shooting didn’t make Drudge just like the 50 so far in Chicago this year didn’t.

Which leads to “Sailer's Law of Mass Shootings:

“If there are more wounded than killed, then the shooter is likely black.

“If there are more killed than wounded, then the shooter is likely not black.”

ITEM 80%: Nouriel Roubini, Professor Emeritus of Economics at New York University’s Stern School of Business, is the chief economist at Atlas Capital Team and the author of MegaThreats: Ten Dangerous Trends That Imperil Our Future, and How to Survive Them.

He wrote, “Most U.S. banks are technically near insolvency, and hundreds are already fully insolvent.”

Bidenflation resulted in rising interest rates.

Roubini wrote, “Higher interest rates have reduced the market value of banks’ other assets as well. If you make a 10-year bank loan when long-term interest rates are 1%, and those rates then rise to 3.5%, the true value of that loan (what someone else in the market would pay you for it) will fall. Accounting for this implies that U.S. banks’ unrealized losses actually amount to $1.75 trillion, or 80% of their capital.”

This is too colossal a calamity not to be sabotage.

ITEM 10: NBC reported, “10 barges, including one carrying methanol, break free from a tugboat on the Ohio River.”

Cargo ships go unloaded. Trains wreck. Airliners do massive flight cancelations. The government destroys racist interstate highways. That is why Buttigieg is now a verb that goes with up.

ITEM 9: CNN reported, “A train hauling ethanol derailed Thursday morning in Raymond, Minnesota, igniting several rail cars and forcing nearby residents to evacuate, officials said.

“Preliminary information suggests 14 of the train’s 40 cars were carrying hazardous material, ‘including ethanol, which was released — leading to a fire,’ Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg told CNN on Thursday.”

The new anthem of DOT is:

Engine, engine number nine,

Going down Chicago line,

If the engine jumps the track,

Do you want your money back?

ITEM 45/47: PolitiFact said, “Fact-checking Trump’s false and misleading claims in Waco, Texas, rally.”

I didn’t read it. He must have said masks work, social distancing works, and the shots will vaccinate everyone for life.

ITEM 44: Politico reported, “A federal judge on Thursday struck down a key provision of the Affordable Care Act, jeopardizing free coverage of a wide range of preventive services including mammograms, colonoscopies and mental health screenings for nearly 168 million people on employer health insurance and on Obamacare’s individual market.”

Free coverage from insurance companies. That’s like saying sharks are vegetarian.

By the way, poop-in-the-box > > > colonoscopies.

ITEM 21: Fox reported, “21 states threaten banks with legal action over woke policies: ‘Stay in your lane.’”

Republicans make more threats as they howl like a wolf, but run like a chihuahua.

ITEM 64: Post Millennial reported, “Madonna announces new concert in Nashville to raise money for ‘trans rights’ groups, not victims of Christian school massacre.”

The devil got his money’s worth with her.

ITEM 187: Marc Rubinstein of Bloomberg wrote, “When Signature Bank of New York was taken into receivership this month, depositors as far away as Arkansas, Georgia and Ohio took fright. That’s because there are four Signature Banks in the US, and customers weren’t immediately sure which one was in trouble.

“Signature Bank of Arkansas sent out this tweet: ‘Just a friendly reminder that we are Signature Bank of Arkansas.’

“That there are so many Signature Banks is a reflection of how many banks there are in America overall. At the end of last year, there were 4,706 commercial banks in the country, far more than anywhere else. Canada has fewer banks than the single state of North Dakota.”

The small banks didn’t tank. The big ones did.

ITEM 2+2 ≠ 4: National Review tweeted, “2+2 no longer equals 4, according to members of the Ontario Mathematics Coordinators Association, who consider the equation to be a white-supremacist dog whistle instead of a basic mathematical truth.”

Some people need Mr. 2X4 to knock sense into them.

ITEM 29-8: PBS sobbed, “GOP lawmakers override Kentucky governor’s veto of transgender bill.”

Guess what the vote was in the state Senate.

ITEM 26,000: The New York Post reported, “Swimmer Riley Gaines: ‘Obnoxious’ librarians disrupted event over politics.”

Earlier, Pitt students signed a petition to keep her from speaking because she wants William “Lia” Thomas kicked out of women’s swimming.

The story said, “The school recently allocated a reported $26,000 to host transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney on campus. “

Gals, here’s my advice on getting ahead: tell them you were originally a man, baby.

ITEM 5150: Fox reported, “Wayne State professor suspended after advocating for killing ‘right wing’ speakers on campuses.”

The college president suspended him but the staff is rallying behind the professor. I guess it is only hate speech if it is aimed at lefties.

ITEM 1,000,000,000: The Daily Caller reported, “A bank is attempting to garnish the wages of Republican West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice to cover a judgment for $861,085 against one of Justice’s coal companies.”

At $150,000 a year pay, they would need the billionaire governor to serve another term, but he is term-limited. Can they dock a senator’s salary?

ITEM 714: The LA Times reported, “Twitter has suspended the social media account of an anti-police website for violating its rules against inciting violence after a union for Los Angeles police sued the owner of the website that offers a bounty for the killing of police officers.”

Look for the press to scream free speech.

ITEM 10%: Breitbart reported, “A bank founded by Chinese-Americans that facilitated many Biden family transactions voluntarily provided Republican investigators with Biden family bank records, a stark difference from the current practices of U.S. banks, Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) revealed Sunday.

“Cathay Bank, which has offices in the U.S. and communist China, voluntarily provided Johnson’s investigation with 200 bank records from 2017 and 2018 showing how the Biden family moved money through a complicated web of entities. The specific records revealed transactions between Hunter Biden-linked business entities and Chinese energy firm CEFC, whose top company lieutenant was the ‘spy chief of China,’ according to Hunter Biden.”

Red China is saying, we own him: what are you gonna do about it?

ITEM 1040: Red State reported, “While Matt Taibbi Was Testifying Before Weaponization of Government Committee, the IRS Knocked on His Door.”

The deep state is saying, we own you: what are you gonna do about it?

ITEM 86: CJR reported (scroll down), “The Texas Observer, a magazine founded nearly seventy years ago as a voice for liberal Democrats that produced hard-hitting investigative journalism, is closing and laying off its staff. The Texas Tribune’s Sewell Chan and Brandon Formby report that the Observer had long been supported by ‘a small number of major donors, and wasn’t able to build a broad base of subscribers and members.’”

Teacher says every time a newspaper fails, a devil loses its mouth.

ITEM 300,000: The Texas Tribune reported, “Texas Observer will continue publishing after staff crowdfunds nearly $300,000.”

It lives to lie another day.

ITEM √-1: Tech Crunch reported, “Twitter is dying.”

It said, “It’s five months since Elon Musk overpaid for a relatively small microblogging platform called Twitter.”

Five months ago, it said, “I spied a tweet the other day that said journalists would suffer if Twitter ever shut down because they would lose a driver of traffic. While there is some truth to that — Twitter does help expose your writing to a larger audience — it’s also true that Twitter has value beyond that for journalists and other users.

“It’s safe to say that Twitter is in disarray as Elon Musk fecklessly tries to grasp the business, instituting mass layoffs as the remaining essential employees flee the general chaos, spurred on by midnight email ultimatums.”

Instant poll:

ITEM 867-5309: The Daily Mail reported, “Olympic snowboarder Jenny Jones is pregnant! British bronze medalist, 42, reveals she is expecting her first child with partner Dan this summer.”

What else is a snowboarder to do in the summer?

ITEM 34 1/2: Fox reported, “Oklahoma high school teacher arrested for allegedly stalking, grooming, sending sexual images to students.”

The home ec teacher had a little too much Sherry.

And Rosemary.

And Joan.

ITEM 96: The Daily Mail reported, “Seven sorority sisters sue University of Wyoming for admitting trans woman, who they allege has ‘voyeuristically peeped at them while visibly aroused.’”

This is why we have gardening shears. It’s pruning season!

ITEM 1492: The New York Post reported, “Hollywood’s top Native American producer is a fake, activists claim.”

She denied this, saying she was as Indian as Sacheen Littlefeather. Um, really?

In other news, Elizabeth Warren announced she will seek re-election next year. She’s been in the Senate for many moons.

ITEM π: The Broadsheet reported, “Picasso Pizza Delivers Its Last Pie.”

It’s just as well as the toppings always looked like they were thrown together. Picasso Pizzas were a surreal meal.

ITEM 5-2-10: PJ Media reported, “A staffer for Republican Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) was stabbed in broad daylight by a man who had just been released from prison the day before. The unidentified staffer is in serious condition in a D.C. hospital.

“Washington, D.C., has been growing more unsafe by the day because of local policies that reward criminal acts instead of punishing criminals. And this reality is getting better known because Capitol Hill workers are becoming more frequent victims of the Democrat-run city’s laissez-faire attitude about crime.”

Washington is becoming Baltimore, Chicago, Detroit — any city run by Democrats.

ITEM 4077: NYT bragged, “Last week an openly gay man, Eric Fanning, became secretary of the Army. Read that sentence again and contemplate what it reveals about how much and how quickly American society has changed. Only five years ago, openly gay people were barred from serving in its armed forces. During Mr. Fanning’s lengthy confirmation process, his sexual orientation was simply not an issue. That is a tribute to those who fought so hard to repeal the ban, and a measure of the nation’s at times uncertain, but as yet unfailing, march toward equality.”

Ah, but can this Buttigieg do anything besides have sex with men?

ITEM 214: The Daily Caller reported, “A veteran in a wheelchair allegedly shot a man multiple times who tried to rob him at a Houston, Texas, bus stop Monday.

“The veteran was attempting to get home at the time of the shooting, according to KHOU.

“The suspect allegedly approached the veteran in his wheelchair and tried to steal his bag, reported KHOU. The veteran then shot the man several times in self-defense.”

The TV station called the vet a victim.

Nope. Carrying gun made sure he wasn’t.

ITEM ∞: The New York Post reported, “Trans woman left sobbing in JFK airport after TSA agent hit her testicles: report.”

My wife hates when that happens.

Now for today’s TOTALLY SCIENTIFIC POLL.