Highlights of the week

Because he's swine, Joe walked the line.

ITEM 1: The Sun reported, “Iconic British car firm will discontinue production of ALL diesel & petrol motors — in ‘biggest change in history.’”

Rolls Royce is switching to battery-operated cars only.

Finally, they will make the Rolls Canardly.

ITEM 2: Larry Sabato tweeted, “Ignore the Washington Post-ABC poll. It’s a ridiculous outlier (Trump up 10 over Biden — laughable). My question: How could you even publish a poll so absurd on its face? Will be a lingering embarrassment for you.”

He had Hillary sweeping Trump in 2016 up until Election Night.

Of course, I had Trump taking 37 states in 2020.

ITEM 3: The reason the polls show Biden tumbling down the staircase — oh wait, that was him trying to board Air Force One.

The reason the polls show Biden sliden is Democrats want to replace him with Governor Brylcreem and expect Biden to leave quietly. Hence the made-up polls. Boy are they in for a surprise. The White House is his ATM. He ain’t going away on his own.

ITEM 4: The Street reported, “Burger King faces a whopper of a Bud Light-style boycott problem.”

I thought its sloppy burgers and tasteless fries were reason enough to boycott.

The story said the boycott is in reaction to Burger King dropping ads with Rumble after the video service refused to drop comedian Russell Brand from its lineup. Some women have claimed he sexually abused them sometime ago somewhere.

Burger King and the Internet oligarchs have found Brand guilty without a trial. In fact, there are zero charges against him. This is about his speaking out against the fascist state. The Internet has gone from being An Army of Davids to being an Army of Stalins.

ITEM 5: Dianne Feinstein died at 90.

Chairman Xi ordered Red China to lower its flag in honor of the death of one of its two senators, the other being Mitch McConnell.

ITEM 6: The Bezos Post tweeted, “To live in Texas is to live surrounded by guns.

“Each morning, people strap guns inside suits, boots, bras and bellyband holsters that render them invisible. They stash firearms in purses and tool boxes and even take guns to protests at the state Capitol.”

Ah, paradise.

ITEM 7: Texas has a murder rate of 10.3 per 100,000 residents — the 15th highest in the country.

DC’s rate is 49.2 — higher than any state.

ITEM 8: Matt Gaetz with the quote of the week: “We're in so much debt, we are driving up deficits so fast, we are devaluing American money so rapidly that in America today you can’t even bribe Democrat senators in cash alone, you need gold bars just so the money can hold value!”

A time machine must have brought back the young Senator John N. Kennedy.

ITEM 9: The New York Post reported, “Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron found Trump, 77, his family and his business, the Trump Organization, liable for fraud — the key claim in New York Attorney General Letitia James’ sprawling lawsuit against the defendants.

“In a 35-page ruling, Engoron sided with James, who argued that Trump made several indisputably false statements in business documents to secure favorable terms with banks — including by claiming that his soaring triplex penthouse at Trump Tower was 30,000 square feet when it was in fact closer to 11,000 feet.”

Then the judge told the joey in his pouch it was time for their nap and bounced back to his chamber.

ITEM 10: The New York Post reported, “Calling someone ‘woke’ is equivalent to a ‘racial slur,’ UK actress Cathy Tyson claims.”

How about we call them the Unsleeping instead?

ITEM 11: The Chairman of the Committee investigating Biden’s bribes tweeted, “I just subpoenaed & obtained two bank wires revealing Hunter Biden received payments originating from Beijing in 2019 when Joe Biden was running for President.

“Joe Biden’s Delaware home is listed as the beneficiary address for both money wires from China.”

He was in fifth place in his party’s race at the time. So Red China knew the fix was in a year before it was in. Maybe Chairman Xi called the shots and not Lazy Barry.

ITEM 12: Semafor reported, “Advertisers paid a premium for airtime during the first Republican presidential debate on Fox News, but it looks like they’ll be getting a major discount during round two on Wednesday night.

“Semafor reviewed the rates the network shared with one prospective ad buyer for both the first and second GOP primary debates. For the first debate, the cost of a single 30-second spot topped $495,000.

“But the same 30-second spot during Wednesday night’s contest would cost just over $200,000.”

Advertisers were promised Trump at the first RINO debate. This time, they knew he was a no-show and the price dropped 60%. Orange Man laid the golden eggs. They treated Orange Man bad. He sits their debates out. The ad salesmen are the ones who suffer.

ITEM 13: Ace of Spades reported, “Good morning, kids. If you thought that Donald Trump made a big mistake by not attending the first debate, you might want to rethink that after last night's complete shit-show in Simi Valley, or in this case the ‘See me!!’ valley. Aside from the fact that with the exception of Ron DeSantis every person on that stage is either a fraud RINO stooge or a dud or some combination of both (Ramaswamy and Bugrum seem decent enough but they're sinking), you had to know that this would be a fiasco when they chose this Ilia Calderón to be the moderator.

“Bad enough that she's a filthy, anti-American lying shit-whore. But that she opened a national American broadcast in Spanish, intended primarily for an American audience in a nation whose unofficial official language is supposed to be English, and that one of the top issues and existential threats in and facing said nation is a completely erased border where millions of third world peasants primarily but not exclusively from south of that border have come and continue to invade us, is just off-the-charts chutzpocrisy.”

I missed nothing.

The New Jersey whale called Trump Donald Duck. That comes from a man whose parents named him for a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

ITEM 14: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “Only 6% of new S&P 100 jobs went to white applicants in the year after George Floyd’s death, according to an analysis by Bloomberg News, a testament to the pervasiveness of legally tenuous diversity programs throughout corporate America.”

And the 6% were all gay.

ITEM 15: Mark Milley retired from the American military on Friday after 43 years as a Red Chinese mole.

Sadly, Congress will allow him to collect a $120,000 a year pension despite his dishonorable service and his pledge to notify Red China of any actions by his commander-in-chief, President Trump.

OK, pop poll for subscribers: What will Milley’s post-service job be?

ITEM 16: The Cornell Daily Sun reported, “During the English department’s first faculty meeting of the fall semester, faculty members of color introduced a proposal — to change the department’s name.”

No, the new name is not Department of Pre-Ebonics.

I enjoy watching the collapse of elite colleges and university from within as Privileged POCs and Gay Mafiosos turn the campuses into a liquor store after a Mostly Peaceful Protest.

ITEM 17: Oh, you hadn’t heard about that? Well, CNN reported, “All liquor stores closed in Philadelphia after multiple stores were looted overnight.”

The rioters were only trying to feed their families, who get their corn from a jar.

ITEM 18: The People’s Voice reported, “ABC News Reporter, Who ‘Debunked’ Pizzagate, Faces Life in Prison for Child Rape.”

Included in his porn collection were infants and toddlers.

If he gets a life sentence, I hope it is a short one.

ITEM 19: Atlanta Black Star reported, “‘My Ancestors Rolling In They Graves’: White Woman Wins 2023 Miss Universe Zimbabwe Over ‘Melanated’ Candidates.”

She also won the Vanessa Williams Award for breaking down racial barriers.

Some Zimbabweans want her to leave and the horse she Rhodesia-ed on.

ITEM 20: PJ Media reported, “Trans Student Assaults Three Girls at Oregon Middle School.”

The school’s reaction? It immediately made its Twitter account private, stating, “These tweets are protected.”

But not the students.

ITEM 21: Outkick reported, “Two men involved in the death of 17-year-old Ethan Liming last summer at LeBron James’ I Promise school in Akron were found ‘not guilty’ of involuntary manslaughter, according to a Summit County jury.

“As relayed by cleveland.com, Deshawn Stafford Jr., 20, and Tyler Stafford, 19, were at the scene of the crime when Liming suffered a fatal hit to the head on June 2, 2022.”

The killers are black. The victim was white. The LBJ school is an utter failure with students failing to pass 8th grade math tests.

If LBJ encouraged black kids to give up trying to be thugs and start doing their homework, the outcomes would be better.

ITEM 22: Fox reported, “Ultra Right, the beer brand that launched as a woke-free Bud Light beer alternative, raked in half a million dollars in just 12 hours after it released a special edition can that featured the historic mugshot of former President Trump.”

I still have my can of Billy Beer given to me by Billy Carter.

ITEM 23: USA Today reported, “Dozens of teens stormed House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s office Thursday morning, urging him to come to an agreement with congressional Republicans to stave off a partial shutdown of the federal government.”

Sorry kids. You must wear a red hat to be called an insurrectionist.

ITEM 24: The Washington Examiner reported, “Desire for large families hits 50-year high in America: Gallup.”

What is considered a large family by Gallup? Three or more kids. The replacement rate is a minimum of 2.1 births. So the poll actually showed only 53% of Americans want to sustain our population. It is demographic anorexia.

ITEM 25: India Today reported, “Poland looks for extradition of Nazi veteran applauded in Canadian parliament.

“Poland is taking steps to extradite Yaroslav Hunka, a former member of a Nazi unit during World War Two living in Canada, a Polish minister said.”

He received a standing ovation from the Parliament but now the fellow who invited him has resigned as speaker but Justin Castreau denied the Nazi thing and said, “I think it’s going to be really important that all of us push back against Russian propaganda, Russian disinformation.”

Canada was on the Russian side in the war so technically Hunka fought Canada. You can see why Castreau likes him.

ITEM 26: TMZ reported, “Cops Visit Britney Spears Home After Dangerous Knife Dance And Apparent Injuries.”

So New York Times, how’s your Free Britney campaign working?

ITEM 27: The Hill reported, “The Supreme Court on Friday announced it will hear two cases stemming from controversial laws in Texas and Florida regulating social media platforms’ content moderation decisions.

“The laws aim to prohibit social media companies from banning users based on political views, even if users violate platform policies, essentially limiting companies from being able to enforce their own policies.”

Controversial is how reporters describe something they don’t like.

ITEM 28: The Inquirer reported, “John Fetterman says he’ll suit up as Senate unanimously adopts formal dress code.”

Glad to see them take care of the important stuff. Now to get the Senate to quit accepting bribes, to drop its insider trading and to require supermajority votes on any and all decisions as befits the world’s most deliberative body.

ITEM 29: Mediaite reported, “2024 presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. plans to announce he will run as an independent on October 9 in Pennsylvania.”

His mission is to siphon votes from Trump.

ITEM 30: Fria-Tider Inrikes (in Sweden) reported on Wednesday, “14-year-old girl hanged her rapist in the forest.”

This shouldn’t happen in a civilized country but Europe gave up on civilization after 9/11.

ITEM 31: Hey, remember when Zuckerberg was going to knock Twitter out with his Threads gizmo?

Forbes reported, “The Threads App Just Isn’t Catching On With Users. Time To Pull The Plug?”

Gab, Parler and a bunch of others have tried to knock out Twitter but they all faced the same problem; you go to the new Twitter and nobody’s there. Elon Musk figured the best way to compete with Twitter was to buy it. Maybe that is why he is the richest man in the world.

ITEM 32: Just the News reported, “A federal appeals court on Thursday allowed Tennessee and Kentucky to implement laws banning transgender treatments for minors, rejecting a preliminary injunction that would have allowed puberty blockers and gender-change surgeries to continue while the larger legal issues are litigated nationwide.”

Transgender treatments are the 21st century’s lobotomy, except instead of making the victim retarded, this one sterilizes them and gives them lifelong bone and joint problems.

What is the hurry? Why must kids be rushed into something life-changing before they even have a life?

ITEM 33: The House voted to drop to $1 a year the salaries of Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin and Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.

This would force them to live solely off their bribes and kickbacks.

ITEM 34: The Cowboy State Daily reported, “Jackson Buys 8 Electric Buses For Transit System, But None Are Working.”

That’s one way to get to zero emissions.

By the way, 73% of Wyoming’s electricity comes from coal because it produces — by far — the most steam coal in the USA.