Highlights of the week

Maybe turning the state into Michighanistan was not a good idea.

ITEM 1: AP reported, “Federal authorities in New York announced on Wednesday the largest-ever seizure of counterfeit goods, consisting of handbags, shoes and other luxury merchandise valued at more than $1 billion.”

That’s good because when New Yorkers loot a store, they should get the real thing, not some cheap knockoff.

ITEM 2: Axios reported, “President Biden's re-election campaign privately has been weighing whether to join the social media platform TikTok to try to reach more young voters, according to two people familiar with the conversations.”

Well, if TikTok can make Osama bin Laden a hero to those under 30, why not FJB?

ITEM 3: Zero Hedge reported, “More than 40,000 hours of Jan. 6 Capitol Police security video will be made public on a dedicated website starting immediately and ramping up in the coming months, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Louisiana) announced on Friday.

“However, individual video clips released to media or other requesters will have the faces of identifiable individuals blurred, a senior congressional aide told The Epoch Times. That restriction drew immediate fire from some Jan. 6 criminal case defendants.”

Wait, a politician in DC kept a promise? Is that legal? There might be some MAGA in old MAGA Mike after all.

ITEM 4: AP reported, “Secret Service agents protecting President Joe Biden’s granddaughter opened fire after three people tried to break into an unmarked Secret Service vehicle in the nation’s capital, a law enforcement official told The Associated Press.”

The agents missed each target. Joe, quit hiring Stormtroopers from Star Wars!

ITEM 5: Bloomberg reported, “Google pays Apple Inc. 36% of the revenue it earns from search advertising made through the Safari browser, the main economics expert for the Alphabet Inc. unit said Monday.

“Kevin Murphy, a University of Chicago professor, disclosed the number during his testimony in Google’s defense at the Justice Department’s antitrust trial in Washington.”

Who is running Google’s defense? A Stormtrooper?

ITEM 6: CNN reported, “what a CNN reporter saw inside hospital basement in Gaza.”

He saw proof that Palestinians use the hospital to shield its Hamas military arm, a war crime. CNN must be feeling the heat for using Hamas terrorists as photographers. I mean, showing the other side of the story is just not done by journalists in the 21st century.

ITEM 7: The LA Times demanded, “Editorial: Ceasefire now. The killing in Gaza must stop.”

It said, “The trauma inflicted on Palestinian survivors only increases the recruiting ability of Israel’s enemies, whether they be Hamas, Hezbollah or any successors bent on destruction of Israel.”

Yes, bombing Berlin only helped Nazi recruitment in 1945.

ITEM 8: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “The Biden administration may approve a sanctions waiver on Tuesday that will allow Iran to access at least $10 billion in previously frozen funds held in Iraq, a closely watched decision that comes just a month after the Tehran-backed terror group Hamas launched an attack on Israel that left 1,200 dead.”

If Palestinians had murdered twice as many, would Biden have given Iran $20 billion?

ITEM 9: The Detroit News reported, “Hundreds of members of Detroit’s Jewish community flew to Washington, D.C., to march in solidarity with Israel in its war against Hamas in Gaza on Tuesday, but some of them say they had trouble participating because of what they said was a malicious walk-off by some bus drivers.”

Maybe turning the state into Michighanistan was not a good idea.

ITEM 10: The New York Post tweeted, “Suspected serial NY arsonist Amanda Burnside charged with armed robbery hours after leaving jail for possibly setting 3 fires.”

He pronounces his name: A man, duh.

Pop poll:

ITEM 11: Chairman Xi visited San Francisco, which cleared the streets of bums, poop and American flags ahead of the visit. There were so many Red China flags waving along the streets Xi’s motorcade travelled that he wondered if he had even left his country.

He met with Biden and gave him the bribe directly as there has been too much heat on Hunter lately.

ITEM 12: Fox reported, “Pro-Palestinian violent protest erupts outside DNC headquarters in Washington DC, Capitol police injured.”

How to tell an insurrection from a protest: Does it have FBI infiltrators leading the mob? If the answer is yes, then it is an insurrection. If not, it is a mostly peaceful protest — unless they target Democrats. Then it is a violent protest.

ITEM 13: Yahoo News reported, “In videos that have recently gone viral in Canada, a group of pro-Palestine protesters can be seen entering a restaurant where Prime Minister Trudeau was present and chanting ‘ceasefire now’ to bring an end to the killing of civilians [terrorists] in the ongoing Israel-Hamas war.

“The Vancouver Police in a statement said almost 100 officers responded after approximately 250 people surrounded a Chinatown restaurant and escorted Trudeau out of the venue.”

Will he seize their Paypal accounts?

ITEM 14: Greg Price reported, “Biden judicial nominee Sara Hill ‘made history’ by being the first Native American woman nominated to serve as a federal judge in Oklahoma

“Today, she was unable to explain the difference between a stay order and an injunction when asked by Sen. Kennedy.”

Talks like Foghorn Leghorn, thinks like Bugs Bunny.

ITEM 15: UFC president Dana White told an interviewer, “I posted a video of Trump on my personal social media. One of our big sponsors called and said, ‘Take that down.’ You know what I said? ‘Go f*** yourself.’”

Was this his newest sponsor, Bud Light?

ITEM 16: Politico reported, “Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin is meeting with actor Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson on Wednesday in the senator’s office. The duo is meeting on military recruitment efforts, according to staff.”

Maybe he can team up with Oprah just like he did when he raised hundreds of dollars for Maui fire victims.

ITEM 17: The Daily Signal reported, “‘It Isn’t a Crime to Tweet a Bible Verse,’ Finnish Politician Says After Court Dismisses Charges Against Her.”

For now.

ITEM 18: Disclose TV tweeted, “Nikki Haley asserts that allowing people to post on social media anonymously is a ‘national security threat.’ She promises that as president, she will force ‘every person on social media’ to be ‘verified by their name.’”

Just what America needs, a Karen-in-chief. She’s a shoo-in for president — of the Home Owners Association.

ITEM 19: Cowboy State Daily reported, “No, despite what a Wyoming atlas might say, the Shemale Brothers Ranch in Albany County isn’t a real place.”

The actual name is Schmale Brothers Ranch. It’s Wyoming, not Transylvania.

ITEM 20: Oli London tweeted, “IDF forces killed the Hamas terrorist who paraded the dead body of German-Israeli woman Shani Louk through the streets of Gaza as Palestinians spat on her.

One down. 100,000 to go.

ITEM 21: Just the News reported, “Former Minneapolis police Officer Derek Chauvin is arguing that new evidence proves he did not cause the 2020 death of George Floyd as part of an attempt to overturn his federal civil rights conviction.”

The junkie died of a fentanyl overdose.

Billions of dollars in damage to small businesses while the media promoted unchallenged the lies about a drug overdose. Those businesses need reparations.

ITEM 22: The Western Journal reported, “The top-rated Spanish speaking television network is under new management and has taken a much more favorable view of Trump than it did during 2020.”

The line to suck up to President Trump started here as his second term appears on the horizon.

Don’t get your hopes up because there is a lot of work to do.

ITEM 23: Babs Streisand said, “I can’t live in this country if [Trump] becomes president” again.

She said the same thing in 2016, as did in 2000, when Dubya ran.

I am so glad Presidents Hillary and Gore stopped her from leaving.

ITEM 24: Rebel News reported, “Charges dismissed for Calgary pizzeria owner who served unvaccinated customers during lockdown.”

The hearing took 10 minutes — and three years for the Barney Fife prosecutors to admit their mistake.

ITEM 25: Washington Examiner reported, “The Supreme Court left in place a lower court’s freeze of a Florida law on Thursday intended to shield minors from witnessing drag shows in public.”

The right to flash children is in the Constitution between the right not to be offended and the right to loot stores.

ITEM 26: NYT reported, “Protesters Demanding Gaza Ceasefire Shut Down Bay Bridge.

“Westbound traffic into San Francisco was blocked, causing enormous traffic jams on highways in the East Bay. At least 50 people were arrested.”

Why arrest them? Just toss them off the bridge.

ITEM 27: Michael Rapaport has entered Stage 4 TDS.

Rapaport said, “If it comes down to Pig D*ck Donald Trump and smoking Joe Biden, I’m sorry, I am sorry. Voting for Pig D*ck Donald Trump is on the table. I’m sorry. I’ll still call him Slob D*ck Donald Trump, Pig D*ck Donald Trump and all that. But we need to get this whole f*cking situation under control.”

Stage 4 TDS is when after years of hating Trump someone suddenly flips to voting for Donald Trump. Psychiatrists have no explanation for this phenomenon because most of them suffer TDS.

ITEM 28: Yahoo News reported, “Old FBI Files Claim Donald Trump’s Second Wife Marla Maples Allegedly Had an Affair With This ’90s Singer.”

So the FBI spied on The Donald long before Obama came along. Weirdos.

ITEM 29: TND reported, “A biologically female boxer reportedly withdrew from a Canadian championship match after learning she would be facing a transgender opponent.”

Wrong. The story should read: A woman refused to get beaten by an emotionally disturbed man.

ITEM 30: In entertainment news, Disney released its monthly woke movie to bomb at the box office. Star Wars, Pixar and Disney classics having taken their turn, it was Marvel comics turn to take one for the team.

I know how to stop this. Quit letting Disney get tax write-offs for these FUBARs.

ITEM 31: The press release said, “Hagerty, Inc., the leading specialty vehicle insurance provider and auto enthusiast brand, announced the George Foreman Collection of more than 50 collector cars, spanning every decade of production from the 1930s through present, are now available for online auction through Hagerty Marketplace, a trusted, easy-to-use platform to buy and sell automobiles. The auction lots will close between December 11th and December 21st, with multiple cars ending each weekday.”

The best thing about a George Foreman car is you can cook food on the grills.

ITEM 32: Stephen Green reported, “Snoop Dogg begs fans to ‘respect my privacy’ after rap legend announced he had quit smoking weed sparking concern. ‘The main way is being concerned with how I live, how I move, the kind of people I’m associated with because I want to see my grandkids grow old.’”

So announce something personal publicly and demand everyone respect your privacy.

ITEM 33: The Babylon Bee reported (yes, reported as in actual news), “Amid charges that Elon Musk’s social media app X has become a dangerous breeding ground for speech Communists don’t like, Apple CEO Tim Cook has elected to pull all Apple advertising from the platform.”

The CIA site, Drudge Report, went bonkers as it linked stories accusing Musk of anti-Semitism because the deep state is still pissed he bought Twitter out from under their control.

The Babylon Bee’s headline said, “‘We Cannot Be Associated With Elon Musk,’ Says Tim Cook While Shaking Hands With Brutal Chinese Dictator.”

ITEM 34: NBC reported, “House Speaker Mike Johnson says roughly 40,000 hours of January 6 security footage will be posted online for public access.”

MAGA Mike may yet live up to the billing.

Not one media outlet sued to get the video. Remember that the next time they file some lawsuit claiming the public has a right to know.

ITEM 35: DC_Draino tweeted, “Tucker as Trump’s VP would give us epic bumper stickers: T&T 2024 🧨”

He just made the case for Greg Abbott’s vice presidential nomination.