Highlights of the week

Before the Monkees, there were Beatles cartoons on Saturday morning. In honor of that, I have a few Beatles trivia questions. The first is what song was a hit for both Buck Owens and the Beatles? Hint: Neither wrote it.

ITEM 1: NBC reported, “U.S. intel agencies may change how they monitor social media, chatrooms after missing leaked U.S. documents for weeks.”

How does a 21-year-old airman in the National Guard gain access to state secrets like this? Instead of expanding the Pentagon’s power to read my email, how about court-martialing the chain of command that failed to guard classified material?

(I liked this comment: “Wouldn't it be better to monitor their own guys and leave the rest of us out of it?”)

Also, the leak is a new Pentagon Papers, which revealed the stupidity of the Vietnam War which is looking more and more like the prototype for this war.

ITEM 2: CNBC reported, “NPR said Wednesday it will stop sharing content on Twitter after the social media company labeled NPR ‘state-affiliated media,’ a term also used for Russia- and Red China-based propaganda outlets.”

NPR argues it is not state-affiliated media because it claims only 1% of its money comes from the federal government.

6% of my funding GOES to the federal government — including my Social Security.

ITEM 3: The Orange County Register reported, “Don’t look now, but Californians are West Virginia dreamin.’”

The story said, “Not only is West Virginia one of America’s most affordable states, but it is also now one of the most attractive, even beating out competitors like Florida and Texas in the latest Opportunity ranking from U.S. News & World Report.”

The welcome sign for West Virginia should read “No Vacancies.”

ITEM 4: The Daily Mail reported, “Dumping boiling potatoes on her husband's head, saying he’s ‘too dumb’ to have a cell phone and calling him a f***ing slob: Allegations about Democrat Katie Porter's abusive marriage resurface as she launches Senate run and releases memoir.”

Democrats have been searching for the next Dianne Feinstein. All portly Porter needs now is a chauffeur who spies for Red China and the job is hers.

ITEM 5: Drudge: “Musk Dodges Questions, Fires Salvos in Live Ramble.”

Reality:

BBC JOURNALIST: “There’s been a rise in hateful content on Twitter.”

ELON MUSH : “Give me an example.”

JOURNALIST: “I can’t.”

ELON MUSK: “You just lied.”

The richest man in the world now owns Twitter, a large hunk of Tesla and a BBC reporter.

Government-funded media is just not as good at lying as CNN and NYT, proving once again that capitalism is way better than socialism.

ITEM 6: Kane at Citizen Free Press reported, “Child molester arrested after stealing Audi with baby inside.”

You have to go to the bottom of the story to find that out, but that is what the story says.

The media can hide the truth but they cannot change it.

ITEM 7: NYT alleged, “Dan Snyder Agrees to Sell Washington Commanders for $6 Billion.”

Libs are ecstatic.

So is he. He paid $800 million for the Redskins 24 years ago — and sold it for more than 7 times that.

Punish me, libs.

BEATLES TRIVIA 2: What song was a tribute to the Beatles haircut?

ITEM 8: KCRA reported, “California weighs how to improve outcomes for black students.”

I am stumped. Does anyone else have any ideas?

ITEM 9: USA Today reported, “LGBTQ, immigrant advocacy groups issue Florida travel advisory over DeSantis policies.”

Can we get them to add West Virginia to their list of places they won’t visit?

ITEM 10: WND reported, “Brutal: CNN reportedly set to replace struggling network mainstay with his ex-wife.”

If he were Taylor Swift, John King could get a hit song out of this.

ITEM 11: Business Insider said in shock, “A Missouri lawmaker defended child marriage, saying kids he knows who got married at age 12 are ‘still married.’”

Let me get this straight, liberals are OK with 12-year-olds deciding to undergo transsexual surgery but are shocked at 12-year-olds marrying.

Ban both.

ITEM 12: Fox reported, “Nashville flower shop refuses service to Republican event, blames GOP for Christian school shooting.”

Republicans should claim the flowers are for a homosexual wedding. They might even get free delivery.

ITEM 13: CBR reported, “Yusei Matsui’s sci-fi comedy manga, Assassination Classroom, is now banned from schools in Florida and Wisconsin.”

Liberals want to ban hunting rifles but not comic books that encourage school violence.

ITEM 14: PJ Media reported, “Is Mitch McConnell's Retirement Imminent?”

No. McConnell is headed back next week because his state’s governor is a Democrat and McConnell won’t allow him to flip the seat.

Didn’t Harry Reid have a bad injury that forced him out?

ITEM 15: The Daily Mail reported, “‘No one at a senior level’ was aware Bud Light had made the mistake of partnering with trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney — as parent company Anheuser-Busch loses $6 billion in six days.”

Translation: No one at a senior level is in charge. The CEO’s statement proved that.

Maybe the beer company should diversify and buy Gillette.

BEATLES TRIVIA 3: In which song did John Lennon ’fess up to his addiction to smokeless tobacco?

ITEM 16: The Tallahassee Democrat reported, “Though likely unconstitutional, Florida child rape death penalty bill makes headway.”

Unconstitutional? I propose Amendment 28 then: “You are darned right states can execute killers, rapists and kidnappers if they want.”

ITEM 17: MSN reported, “Valedictorian With 1590 SAT Score Rejected From Every Ivy League School.”

Name that race because MSN did not.

ITEM 18: The Daily Mail reported, “Biden's non-binary ex-nuclear waste chief Sam Brinton pleads no contest to stealing luggage from Las Vegas airport under plea deal where he will serve NO jail time but is ordered to pay victim $3,670.”

He will spend as much time in jail as Hunter and all the rest.

ITEM 19: Victory Girls reported, “Biden And The Next Great Idea: Cut Water To Western States.”

Biden turned the government over to the bureaucrats who have all the humanity of a toadstool.

ITEM 20: Bobby Kennedy’s oldest son is running for president.

ABC said, “Some experts fear rise in medical misinformation following RFK Jr.'s presidential announcement.”

The CDC and Fauci want no competition when it comes to dispensing medical misinformation.

BEATLE TRIVIA 4: What was George Harrison’s tribute to his cow?

ITEM 21: Alpha News reported, “A Minneapolis City Council committee recently approved a change to the city’s code of ordinances that would allow mosques to broadcast the Islamic call to prayer five times a day year round.

“If the ordinance passes the full council, Minneapolis will be the first major city to allow the call to prayer to be broadcast five times per day.”

Minneapolistan.

ITEM 22: Remember when Cracker Jack had good prizes?

Just throw it away with the box.

ITEM 23: Biden went to Ireland. He took Hunter with him, which means we will be sending military aid shortly.

Fox reported, “Twitter cheers Biden saying he’s ‘not going home,’ ‘staying’ in Ireland: ‘Good Riddance, they can have you!’”

Sadly, this was just another one of his lies.

ITEM 24: The National Pulse reported, “The Ukrainian authorities in Kiev have embezzled ‘$400 million last year, at least,’ of U.S. taxpayers money, according to veteran American journalist, Seymour Hersh, who recently grabbed headlines for his long-read article describing how it was the government of the United States that blew up the Nord Stream pipeline.

“Now, a new Substack by Hersh reveals explosive details of how U.S., UK, and European taxpayer cash is being used to line the pockets of Ukrainian politicians, including President Zelensky and his allies.”

Sigh, it is Sy Hersh, but if true I am not surprised. Ukrainians are not dying for freedom. They are dying for Zelensky’s bank account.

ITEM 25: Jazz Shaw reported, “More than 10,000 New Yorkers flee to Florida in 2023.”

That’s just the number of relinquished driver’s licenses in the first three months of the year.

Does Hank Johnson fear Florida will tip over and fall into the sea?

ITEM 26: CNBC reported, “The Federal Aviation Administration issued a Starship launch license to Elon Musk’s SpaceX, a crucial final regulatory step that clears the company to attempt an orbital launch of its towering rocket for the first time.”

It’s a five-year license to fly. We don’t need more USS Enterprises run by a starfleet bureaucracy. We need more Millennial Falcons working for hire.

ITEM 27: Jacqui Heinrich of Fox, a board member of the White House Correspondents Association, tweeted, “U.S. troops are not fighting in Ukraine.

“NSC’s John Kirby tells Fox there is a small military presence at the Embassy in conjunction with the Defense Attaché's office working on accountability of material — not providing battlefield support.”

A real journalist would state, factually, “Biden administration denies U.S. troops are fighting in Ukraine.”

ITEM 28: Al Jazeera reported, “Spanish climber leaves cave after 500 days in isolation.”

People couldn’t wait to bring her up to date on world events.

Now she cannot wait to get back to the cave.

FINALLY, the answers to the Beatles trivia are:

1. The song that was a hit for Buck Owens and the Beatles was Act Naturally by Johnny Russell. Many years later, Ringo and Owens cut a duet of the song.

2. The tribute to the Beatles haircut was Love Me ’Doo. Some say the song was an homage to a soft drink, but that makes no sense.

3. John Lennon wrote about his smokeless tobacco obsession in a song on the Abbey Road album called I Want Chew.

4. That same album had George Harrison’s ode to his cow: Something. Remember? “Something in the way she moos, attracts me like no udder.”

Abbey Road also had Come Together, which predicted a computer that was not invented for another 12 years. The song began, “Here comes old laptop . . .”

My hearing aids need new batteries.