Highlights of the week

Obama judge discovers the Second Amendment

ITEM 1: AOC said, “RICO is not a crime.”

She isn’t RICO suave.

ITEM 2: Science Alert reported, “Your Blood Could Be Aging Your Brain, Increasing Risk of Dementia.”

Dr. AOC said just drain all the blood out then. Duh.

ITEM 3: The Daily Mail reported, “Planet Fitness sees $400 million wiped off its value in just five days after banning member who exposed ‘trans woman’ shaving in the female locker rooms.”

Planet Bud Light.

ITEM 4: But wait. There’s more.

The Daily Mail reported, “An elderly woman has launched a $350,000 case against her Washington city and its YMCA for banning her from a swimming pool after she objected to a trans woman using its women’s locker room.”

The stick-shift trannies are winning.

ITEM 5: Reuters reported, “Mexico has signed an agreement with Venezuela to deport migrants and reached deals with Mexican and Venezuelan companies to employ them, Foreign Minister Alicia Barcena told a news conference on Thursday.”

Illegals? We doan need no steenking illegals.

ITEM 6: NewsNation reported, “A federal judge in Illinois earlier this month ruled that a Mexican man who was living in the U.S. illegally had a constitutional right to own a firearm for self-defense.”

Obama-appointed Judge Sharon Johnson Coleman and her supporters so own conservatives on this one that these lefties now oppose gun laws.

ITEM 7: PJ Media reported, “Illegal Alien Released on Gun Charges, Shoots Trans Illegal Alien, Authorities Helpless.”

The Chicago Sun-Times reported, “While he had been identified as the gunman and police had recovered key evidence, including a shell casing and video of the Ford Explorer used in the attack — Cook County prosecutors wouldn’t bring charges.”

The witness who identified him wants to live and therefore won’t testify. Nothing has changed in Chicago in the 100 years since Al Capone set up shop there.

ITEM 8: Brianna Lyman reported, “Democrats Canceled Their Florida Primary To Help Biden. It Backfired And Helped Republicans Flip Local Seats.”

What a flock of AOC brains.

ITEM 9: The New York Sun reported, “Biden, in a Major Political Move, Weighs Leaving Israel Short of Arms With Which To Fight Hamas.”

Just buy them from the Taliban. They have a whole bunch of American weapons that Biden left behind in Afghanistan.

ITEM 10: The Daily Caller reported, “Bentley Pushes Back Ambitious All-Electric Goals.”

And by Bentley they mean Bentley customers who want 12 cylinders instead of 12 hours recharging.

ITEM 11: The National Pulse reported, “Epstein Island’s Reid Hoffman, Megadonor to E. Jean Carroll, Nikki Haley Funds MeidasTouch Group Behind ‘Bloodbath’ Hoax.

“LinkedIn billionaire and Epstein Island visitor Reid Hoffman, a megadonor to the Democrats, Nimarata ‘Nikki’ Haley, E. Jean Carroll, and the legal defense of Russia hoaxers FusionGPS, has also donated in large sums to the MeidasTouch Network. Founded by the three Meiselas brothers — Ben, Brett, and Jordy — the far-left media organization helped popularize the bloodbath hoax against Donald Trump over recent days.”

Millionaires are now billionaires. What comes after billionaires? Certainly not our government — as long as they don’t make waves.

ITEM 12: Politico reported, “Nikki Haley’s presidential campaign had $11.5 million in the bank at the end of February, just days before the former U.N. ambassador dropped out of the Republican primary, according to a report filed with the Federal Election Commission late Wednesday.”

Nikki should thank Epstein Island visitor Reid Hoffman for his support. Too bad her kids are too old for him to babysit.

ITEM 13: PJ Media reported, “Senator Kennedy Humiliates Another Biden Judicial Nominee.”

Hey, is it fair to ask these retards what is an assault weapon or what is a woman?

Oh wait. I can’t call them retards anymore. OK, is it fair to ask these AOCs what is an assault weapon or what is a woman?

ITEM 14: BBC reported, “Former U.S. President Donald Trump has filed a defamation lawsuit against ABC News and its presenter George Stephanopoulos for on-air comments.

“Mr. Stephanopoulos asked Congresswoman Nancy Mace in an interview why she backs Mr. Trump despite him being found ‘liable for rape.’

“Last year, a New York civil court found Mr. Trump sexually abused E. Jean Carroll in 1996.

“But the jury did not find the former president had raped her.”

Once a Clintonian, always a Clintonian, just like Jim “Wet Work” Carville.

ITEM 15: Medical Press said, “Keto diet found to slow early stages of Alzheimer’s disease in mice.”

AOC asks: Keto? Which one is your Key Toe?

ITEM 16: Bill Glahn wrote, “A new communist party is set to launch in Minneapolis next month.”

It will have to be to the right of Democrats because there is no room on the left.

ITEM 17: Sam Mauhay-Moore reported, “Three people sued the National Park Service earlier this month for its policy not to accept cash payments at a growing number of locations.”

This land is your land. This land is my land. And it’ll cost you ten bucks to visit it and you can’t pay with cash.

ITEM 18: The New York Post posted, “John Hinckley Jr., who once tried to kill Ronald Reagan, claims he is a victim of ‘cancel culture’ after concert nixed: ‘Keeps happening.’”

The Clintons may ease his pain by offering him a free weekend at Mar-a-Lago.

ITEM 19: The Daily Caller reported, “Harvard Smart People Misspell ‘Arithmetic’ While Advocating ‘Ban’ On Homeschooling.”

A Rat In Tommy’s House May Eat Tommy’s Ice Cream.

ITEM 20: Campus Reform reported, “Harvard University has closed one of its libraries on campus, citing financial issues.”

If only Harvard had a $50 billion endowment fund to cover its financial problems when a Democrat is president.

ITEM 21: The Sacramento Bee reported, “State Farm plans to not renew roughly 72,000 property and commercial apartment policies in California starting this summer, the company announced Wednesday.”

Unlike a good neighbor, State Farm is outa there.

ITEM 22: CBS reported, “For two weeks, Tsholofelo Moloi has been among thousands of South Africans lining up for water as the country's largest city, Johannesburg, confronts an unprecedented collapse of its water system affecting millions of people.

“Residents rich and poor have never seen a shortage of this severity. While hot weather has shrunk reservoirs, crumbling infrastructure after decades of neglect is also largely to blame. The public's frustration is a danger sign for the ruling African National Congress, whose comfortable hold on power since the end of apartheid in the 1990s faces its most serious challenge in an election this year.”

I blame that darned apartheid for making everything run right just to make it look bad when ANC took over.

ITEM 23: The Wall Street Journal reported, “Airline CEOs Seek Meeting With Boeing Directors to Address Production Problems.”

What’s the problem? So a few doors fall off?

It has a great DEI plan: “Each member of our global team brings something uniquely valuable to Boeing, and we grow stronger when everyone has an opportunity to contribute. We continue to take meaningful steps to advance an open and respectful environment where everyone feels welcome not just at Boeing, but also in the surrounding communities where we live. Boeing’s culture of inclusion involves creating an environment that retains and attracts the world’s top talent, and inspires every teammate to do their best work and grow their careers while making a positive impact on the world.”

ITEM 24: End Wokeness tweeted, “Kraft Sports lists qualifications needed to be hired as sports management associate. The top requirement? You can’t be white. A blatant violation of the Civil Rights Act.”

Kraft Sports (as in Patriots owner Robert Kraft) soon will be run as smoothly as Boeing, Harvard and South Africa’s water system.

ITEM 25: Zero Hedge reported, “Republicans Call For Raising Retirement Age As Social Security Nears Insolvency.”

Social Security has a surplus of nearly $3 trillion ($2,770,000,000,000) while the rest of the government is $34.6 trillion in debt.

RINOs want to change the toilet paper while the toilet overflows.

ITEM 26: The Hollywood Reporter reported, “NBC News Hires Former RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel.”

Surbniak the Magnificent predicts future headlines:

Former RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel Denounces Trump.

Former RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel Calls Trump A Threat To Democracy.

Former RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel Says Trump’s Election Will Destroy The World.

Selling out. It’s what RINOs do.

ITEM 27: Jake Sherman tweeted, “MTG has filed a motion to vacate Speaker Johnson, according to multiple sources on the House floor.”

Hakeem Jeffries will become the first black House speaker because MTG in the Republican language translates as AOC.

ITEM 28: The Daily Mail reported, “Clueless star Alicia Silverstone dropped over $400 to get a LA vegan cheese shop to cater for an event held by politician Robert F. Kennedy Jr.”

Vegan cheese? By definition, all cheese is vegan. Still clueless after all these years.

ITEM 29: Resist the Mainstream reported, “Shareholders voted on Friday in favor of transforming Trump Media & Technology Group (TMTG), the company behind Truth Social, into a publicly traded company, positioning the company’s namesake to make around $3 billion from the deal.”

We shall see, but so far the backlash against the Democrat persecution of him has raised his standings in the polls. Maybe it will make him richer as well.

Democrats keep trying to cheat Trump despite backfires because they are AOC — Always Over Confident.

ITEM 30: CBS reported, “At least 40 killed and dozens injured in Moscow concert hall shooting; ISIS claims responsibility.”

Under Obama, ISIS rose. He called it the JV team.

Under Trump, ISIS fell.

Under Biden, ISIS returned.

FINALLY, “Whoever made this deserves an award.”

Play ball.