Highlights of the week

ITEM 1: The New York Post reported, “Officials on the hunt for alligator spotted swimming in Lake Erie.”

Cleveland put the gator in the lake, which it now uses as a moat to protect the northern border.

ITEM 2: General Mike Flynn protested, “The Iraq Parliament makes the marrying age 9. They are sick! We still pour millions into them.”

Nine? Who’s the leader of their parliament? Tim Walz?

ITEM 3: Fox reported, “Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin is ordering all votes for the 2024 presidential election to be cast by paper ballot.”

Pop poll: What will Democrats claim paper ballots are?

ITEM 4: QZ reported, “The World Federation of Advertisers has reportedly informed its members that it will be discontinuing activities for a global initiative, just days after Elon Musk’s X sued it on antitrust grounds.”

He got their attention.

The best thing about this lousy century is billionaires are leading the rebel cause and getting things done.

ITEM 5: The Hill ran a piece, “4 signs the peaceful transfer of power is in danger” if Kamala is elected.

Huh?

Is Biden going to be a jerk to her like Obama was Trump and stage a resistance among federal workers?

ITEM 6: The White House announced, “It is time to bring immediate relief both to the long-suffering people of Gaza as well as the long-suffering hostages and their families. The time has come to conclude the ceasefire and hostages and detainees release deal.”

Still no call for a ceasefire in Ukraine. Maybe Bibi should slip Hunter a few bucks and a mountain of cocaine.

ITEM 7: Sean Trende wrote of Walz, “If Minnesota — a state the GOP has not won in a presidential election since 1972 — is in play, the election is over. Might he have crossover appeal in Wisconsin? Maybe some, but the track record of vice-presidential picks trying to deliver states beyond where they reside is not terribly impressive.”

Ah, but Tiny Tim will help Democrats in Manitoba.

ITEM 8: David Frum wrote, “The Watergate scandal forced [Nixon’s] resignation 50 years ago. Today, he’d probably have gotten away with it.”

Why not? Obama did and he did much, much worse.

Frum’s column of course was a slap at Trump — the victim of Obama’s spying on him.

ITEM 9: Hot Air reported, “Brits Are Being Arrested for Social Media Posts Now.”

The London Blitz was a tea party compared to what the new government has in mind for British subjects. The white ones, of course, because heaven forbid offending the refugees.

ITEM 10: NPR reported, “3 Columbia deans resign over texts that ‘touched on anti-Semitic tropes.’ ”

The texts were sent during a hearing on student complaints about anti-Semitism at Columbia.

ITEM 11: Modernity reported, “U.S. military veterans have taken to social media to post images of themselves on combat duty in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other theatres of war, captioning the pictures ‘Me not being Tim Walz.’ ”

Or Dick Blumenthal.

ITEM 12: AP reported, “Veteran human rights advocate freed in swap says Russia is sliding back toward Stalinist times.”

Just like the USA.

ITEM 13: Kyle Cheney of Politico tweeted, “In his year-long prosecution of Donald Trump for trying to subvert the 2020 election, Jack Smith asked for exactly *zero* delays – until Thursday.

“It comes as he and DOJ absorb the impact of the Supreme Court's immunity ruling.”

My cat took this selfie of the Jack S. reading the opinion.

ITEM 14: AP reported, “Congolese military court hands down death sentence to leader of rebel coalition and 25 others.”

There was a time when the United States could condemn such barbarity.

ITEM 15: Fox reported, “Department of Justice prosecutors allege Hunter Biden was paid by a Romanian oligarch to ‘influence U.S. policy and public opinion,’ while his father, Joe Biden, was vice president, according to new documents.”

Deutsche Marks or dollars
American Express will do nicely, thank you

Navy Biden’s shame is not that her mother was a stripper, but that her daddy is a whore.

By the way, the lead singer of Dire Straits wrote Private Dancer. Dancers work hard. It certainly isn’t money for nothing as they do the walk for life.

ITEM 16: AIPAC money “Liz Cheney’d” Squad member Cori Bush as she lost Tuesday’s primary for a third term in Congress.

Another Hamashole bites the dust.

TWEET OF THE WEEK: The Washington Post’s official gender columnist tweeted:

Boys, a gender columnist might not be the best source for dating advice.

ITEM 17: Gizmodo reported, “NASA Might Delay Upcoming Crew 9 Mission to Return Stranded Starliner Astronauts to Earth.”

My advice to the marooned astronauts is don’t hold your breath waiting for Boeing to rescue you.

Come to think of it, you do have to hold your breath.

ITEM 18: NPR reported, “Harris taps Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate.”

Politico reported, “Harris taps Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz for VP.”

Bloomberg TV reported, “Harris Taps Minnesota's Walz as Running Mate.”

Taps is the appropriate song.

ITEM 19: AP reported, “Army leaders are optimistic they will hit their target of 55,000 recruits this year and say the influx of new soldiers forced them to increase the number of training sites.”

7 years ago, Military.com reported, “The U.S. Army will not meet its mission to recruit 80,000 active duty soldiers this year and has officially lowered that goal.”

Any more success like this and it will truly be an Army Of One.

ITEM 20: UPI reported, “The United Nations announced Monday that nine staff members working for its Palestine UN Relief and Works Agency will be fired after an investigation revealed they may have been involved in last year’s Hamas-led attacks on Israel.”

From the river to Turtle Bay, dump UNRWA.

ITEM 21: The Daily Caller reported, “The Pentagon announced Monday that it had finished withdrawing U.S. forces from a $110 million military base in Niger, Africa, as the nation’s ruling regime takes over.”

General Zero Wing said, “All your base are belong to us.”

Look at it this way, we blew a thousand times as much on Ukraine.

ITEM 22: Brendan Gutenschwager tweeted with video, “Protesters interrupt Kamala Harris’s speech in Michigan, chanting ‘Kamala, Kamala, you can’t hide, we won’t vote for genocide!’

People, people, when they rhyme, they are communists every time.

ITEM 23: KETK reported, “Chinese nationals arrested in East Texas, $250,000 in gold bars seized after traffic stop.”

They were headed to Bob Menendez’s house in New Jersey.

THIS WEEK’S ANDY ROONEY MOMENT: Did you ever notice the same people who disparaged Dan Quayle and George W. Bush for being in the National Guard are defending Tampon Tim’s false claim that he went to Afghanistan as a Guardsman?

I wonder why that is.

ITEM 24: Ian Rapoport tweeted, “The Kansas City Chiefs and star kicker Harrison Butker have agreed to terms on a contract extension to make him the highest-paid kicker in the NFL, sources say. Butler represented himself in the deal.”

Feminists and atheists hardest hit.

ITEM 25: The New York Post reported, “The Biden administration announced a plan to target plastic pollution, dedicating particular focus to phase out single-use plastics — such as kitchen cutlery, cups and straws — across federal departments.”

Sorry, gang, but the Second Amendment doesn’t cover sporks.

ITEM 26: Thursday’s headline: “Joe Rogan says he supports RFK Jr. over Trump, Harris.”

Friday’s headline: “Joe Rogan RETRACTS comment on which candidate he likes for president in 2024 after sparking outrage.”

Suggested Saturday headline: Rogan decides he’s too damned dumb to vote.

ITEM 27: Breitbart reported, “Tampa Bay Times Offers Employees Severance Packages to Cut Payroll 20%.”

Oh we must save newspapers!

The story also said, “According to the nonprofit Poynter Institute, which owns the Times, the Tampa-based outlet dealt with high costs relating to purchasing and shutting down its competitor, the Tampa Tribune, in 2016.”

So the area had two newspapers but thanks to the sterling management decision to buy out the competitor, Tampa may soon have none.

ITEM 28: Britain’s Crown Prosecution Service tweeted, “Think before you post! 📲✋ Content that incites violence or hatred isn't just harmful — it can be illegal.

“The CPS takes online violence seriously and will prosecute when the legal test is met. Remind those close to you to share responsibly or face the consequences.”

Its Twitter handle is @CPSUK or CP SUK. It does. The post itself is a violation of community standards because it threatens people.

FINALLY, the LGBT bullies thought they could take the Olympics from us.

They didn’t. The Olympics went on and as this thread shows (with some moments from other Olympics and events) the Olympic spirit lives and will lift you higher. Enjoy.