Highlights of the week

A new reason found for why I should not get a 12-cylinder Bentley convertible.

If we are going to be a banana republic, then these guys should replace the Marine Corps Band.

ITEM 1: The Independent reported, “How climate change is hitting vulnerable Indonesian trans sex workers.”

Joya Patiha, a 43-year-old Indonesian transgender woman, first started to notice that changing weather patterns in the mountain-ringed city of Bandung were affecting her income as a sex worker a decade ago.

The rainy season was lasting longer across the West Java province, winds were stronger and in some particularly bad years Patiha lost up to 80% of her earnings.

Trans women like Patiha are among the most affected by extreme weather linked to climate change, as well as suffering disproportionately when disasters strike.

“No one is coming out during the longer rainy season,” said Patiha. “It is very hard to make money during that unpredictable weather.”

Indonesia is particularly vulnerable to the effects of climate change, and trans women, who tend to face more stigma and marginalization than trans men or other LGBTQ+ Indonesians, are also among those hardest hit by extreme weather.

Grandpa, why do they call the 2020s the Dumb Ages?

Well, they worried about how driving a 12-cylinder Bentley in Poca, West Virginia, affected the income of T-girl hookers on the other side of the world.

ITEM 2: CNBC reported, “Trump Media is the most expensive U.S. stock to short — by far.”

So all those people who tried to short The Donald are losing money. Trumpenfreude in the morning. Trumpenfreude in the evening. Trumpenfreude at suppertime.

ITEM 3: Gateway Pundit reported, “White House Cancels Annual Ramadan Dinner After Muslims Refuse to Attend.”

They said Halal No, we won’t go.

ITEM 4: CWB Chicago reported, “Felons accused of luring children into van get electronic monitoring after judge, prosecutors mistakenly believe the charges aren’t detainable.”

Instead of buying more ankle bracelets, Chicago should invest in an industrial-strength woodchipper.

ITEM 5: The New York Post reported, “DOJ demands prison time for Ashley Biden diary thief.”

So the diary in which she said Biden inappropriately showered with her was real, as was Hunter’s laptop that documented Biden’s bribery crimes was real as well. In both cases, the children allowed their secrets to become public. They tried to warn us as best they could.

ITEM 6: Politico reported, “Judge denies, for now, a Trump bid to dismiss charges that he hoarded classified documents.”

Hoarded.

No foul play. No nuclear codes. Just keeping records too long, like an overdue library book.

ITEM 7: The FBI sent SWAT teams to rapper P. Diddy’s mansions to collect evidence of pedophilia, drug abuse and things even I cannot imagine.

The FBI will protect the evidence by putting it safely away, just as it did evidence against Hillary, Jeff Epstein’s client list and all 40,000 hours of those January 6 videotapes.

ITEM 8: The New York Times reported, “The New York City Marathon is being asked to pay roughly $750,000 a year to make up for toll revenue lost while the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge is closed” for the annual race.

The New York Road Runners organize the marathon. Did Mayor Adams learn nothing from Wile E. Coyote? Just call him Mayor Acme.

ITEM 9: NBC reported, “Trump and GOP leaders push to change Nebraska electoral votes to winner-take-all.”

Changing Nebraska’s rules to what 48 other states do is considered election interference by the press. In the end, legislators shelved the proposal and saved democracy from the will of the people.

ITEM 10: Legal Insurrection reported, “U.S. Won’t Buy Oil to Refill Strategic Petroleum Reserve.”

The trouble with this program is it made sense. The government bought oil when it was cheap and sold oil when it was expensive. No wonder Biden hated it.

ITEM 11: Elon Musk’s SpaceX will launch Polaris Dawn this summer. Part of its mission is to have the first commercial spacewalk. That is so cool. I have one question:

What will the astronaut do during the commercial?

ITEM 12: The New York Post reported, “Far-left Squad Rep. Jamaal Bowman is in deep trouble in his bid for a third term in the House of Representatives.

“In a shocking new poll obtained exclusively by The Post Wednesday, Westchester County Executive George Latimer leads Bowman 52% to 35% among Democrat primary voters in the 16th Congressional District, which takes in southern Westchester County and parts of the northeast Bronx.”

No problem. Bowman pulls the fire alarm on election day and wins.

ITEM 13: NBC reported, “‘The nuclear button’: Special counsel could seek removal of judge in Trump classified docs case, attorneys warn.”

So that would involve a bunch of hearings and appeals. Then they can go back to the case and the trial should start after Trump’s second term ends.

ITEM 14: Ars Technica reported, “Google might make users pay for AI features in search results.”

Google AI gave us the black Nazis of World War II.

I would pay money for more of that.

ITEM 15: The New York Times reported, “Biden Takes Aim at SpaceX’s Tax-Free Ride in American Airspace.”

Put Ashley Biden on the board of directors. Problem solved.

ITEM 16: The Guardian reported, “UN body calls for Israel to be held accountable for possible war crimes.”

Soldiers entered on a holy day, raped women, tortured men, killed most of them while taking the rest as hostages, and then mutilated the bodies.

Oh wait. That’s what Palestinians did to Israelis. Never mind.

ITEM 17: College Fix reported, “Harvard scrubs How to Blow Up a Pipeline film info from website.”

Now to get Harvard to stock the How to Hire a College President Who Doesn’t Hate Jews film.

ITEM 18: The Hong Kong Democracy Council tweeted, “As of the end of March: 1,840 Political Prisoners in Hong Kong.”

The U.S. Attorney in DC reported that the Biden administration has convicted 718 January 6 protesters, most recently a grandmother who prayed at the Capitol.

Hong Kong has 14 times the population, so adjusted for size, Biden is the biggest Nazi in the world. We’re Number One!

USA! USA! USA!

ITEM 19: The New York Post reported, “California fast food workers stunned as restaurant closes without warning over $20 minimum wage: ‘Only the beginning.’”

We may never get George Jetson’s flying car, but his maid, Rosey the Robot, is on her way.

I look forward to the AI giving my order to a black customer.

ITEM 20: Hot Air reported, “Do Diverse Companies Produce Better Earnings? These Academics Say No.”

Communists invented DEI. Expecting profits from it is like expecting milk from a bull.

ITEM 21: NYT reported, “Some Colleges Will Soon Charge $100,000 a Year. How Did This Happen?”

Student “loans.” You hand over Uncle Sam’s credit card to a teen and he overspends almost like a congressman. The loans cover living expenses and studying overseas.

ITEM 22: Off the Press reported, “Migrants waiting to cross the southern border into the US say they want President Biden to win re-election in November, because they fear they would not be allowed into the country if former President Donald Trump regains control of the White House.”

Vote Democrat because America needs more crime and tuberculosis.

ITEM 23: Yahoo reported, “Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson Says He Won’t Endorse Biden Again for President.”

Enjoy that upcoming visit from the FBI SWAT team, Rock head.

ITEM 24: Red State reported, “New Trouble for Fani Willis: Now Accused of Illegally Recording Phone Call by Trump Co-Defendant.”

She gave $700,000 in tax money to her lover. Now this. Maybe Trump should prosecute her.

ITEM 24: Deadline reported, “After Losing Disney Proxy Fight, Nelson Peltz Claims About $1 Billion In Profit On Stock Gains; Won’t Rule Out A Third Effort To Shake Up Board.”

The $1,000,000,000 loser. This pays better than politics.

ITEM 25: Deutsche Welle reported, “German government wants ‘war-ready’ troops.”

Hire the Muslim invaders then. They are better than Hitler at conquering countries.

ITEM 26: The Daily Mail reported, “Earthquake rattles NYC! Magnitude 4.8 quake hits New Jersey with tremors and reports of shaking buildings felt as far as the Big Apple, Philly and Connecticut.”

Mayor Acme Adams’s first thought was finally, something they can’t blame on me.

ITEM 27: Red State reported, “Boston Hospital Cuts Back on Reporting Child Abuse to Authorities Because of Structural Racism.”

Nope. It’s the lack of structure in the homes.

ITEM 28: Lynnette Khalfani Cox tweeted, “I’m sorry for the 14,000 workers about to lose their jobs.

“The 99 Cents Only Stores is closing all 371 of its stores in Arizona, California, Nevada and Texas.

“The company is liquidating everything starting Friday.”

It’s hard to sell things when 99 cents will buy you one M&M. Who wants just an M?

ITEM 29: AP tweeted, “U.S. employers added a surprisingly robust 303,000 jobs in March in a sign of continued economic strength.”

Catturd tweeted:

Government jobs added ... 71,000

Manufacturing jobs added ... 0

Part time jobs added ... 691,000

Full time jobs lost ... 6,000

It’s official. AP reporting isn’t worth a cat’s turd.

ITEM 30: Fox reported, “Big-money donors are beginning to coalesce around former President Donald Trump after he has become the presumptive GOP nominee as he attempts to close the cash-on-hand gap with President Biden, who recently set a high-dollar fundraising record.

“This weekend in Palm Beach, Florida, Trump will take part in what is being billed as an Inaugural Leadership Dinner that includes several Republican high-profile donors and signals the beginning of a major push to cut into Biden’s cash-on-hand lead.

“The event will be led by hedge-fund billionaire John Paulson and will be co-chaired by hedge fund tycoon Robert Mercer and his daughter Rebekah, oil tycoon Harold Hamm, hotelier Robert Bigelow and casino mogul Steve Wynn.

“Bigelow and Hamm had previously funneled money to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis in his ill-fated presidential run against Trump in the primary. Hamm previously donated to former U.N. ambassador Nikki Haley's presidential campaign as well.”

Never Trumpers are beginning to see that it is either Trump and liberty or Biden and death in November.