Highlights of the week

ITEM 1: The Daily Mail had a Hart-warming story, which began, “Kevin Hart ditched his wheelchair in favor of much more stylish wheels on his latest outing.

“The 44-year-old comedy megastar was seen rolling in style as he was behind the wheel of a vintage 1967 Pontiac GTO convertible in Malibu on Sunday.”

He drives a car 12 years older than he is.

ITEM 2: The LA Times said, “Biden administration considers forcing migrant families to remain in Texas.”

Biden cannot even force them to remain in Mexico.

ITEM 3: NBC reported, “Federal appeals court allows Texas to leave floating barrier in Rio Grande for now.

“A federal judge had ordered Texas to remove the barrier that the state installed to deter illegal migrant crossings.”

It is just as Thin Lizzy prophesized: The buoys are back in town, the buoys are back in town.

ITEM 4: The Hill reported: “Fears of peace talks with Putin rise amid US squabbling.”

Oh no. If peace breaks out, the Bidens and the RINOs will have to find a different source of grift.

ITEM 5: Via DC Draino, Chris Rock did a rant onstage about Lululemon’s virtue signaling: “They sell $100 non-racist yoga pants. I think I speak for the entire audience tonight when I say most people in this crowd would prefer a pair of $20 racist yoga pants.”

Then Will Smith hopped on stage, told him not to put Lululemon’s name in his mouth and punched him.

ITEM 6: The New York Post reported, “Biden blasted for walking out before end of Medal of Honor ceremony: ‘Lack of respect.’”

He left early because there were no little girls there to sniff.

ITEM 7: Space.com reported, “Blackholes keep ‘burping up’ stars they destroyed years earlier, and astronomers don’t know why.”

The only answer is blackholes are recycling centers. We must save the universe.

ITEM 8: Fox reported, “The Biden administration quietly rescinded a Trump-era regulation allowing companies to transport liquefied natural gas (LNG) via rail in a victory for environmental groups.”

Environmental group is dog-megaphone code for communist supremacists.

ITEM 9: Off the Press reported, “California May Require Hotels To House Homeless In Vacant Rooms.”

That’ll kill the hotel business just like de-criminalizing shoplifting killed stores.

ITEM 10: Blaze News reported, “Peppermint Patty Gets Prime Time MSNBC Show, ‘Inside With Jen Psaki.’”

It is the 8 p.m. slot, which means she’ll be crushed by Tucker Carlson. I don’t know how she will do against Fox.

ITEM 11: SciTechDaily reported, “Chemists Develop New Way To Split Water.”

I can just hear liberals now arguing that if the Manhattan Project had split water instead of atoms, we could have won the war with a giant water balloon instead of two A-bombs.

ITEM 12: Courthouse News Service reported, “Three doctors who prescribed ivermectin for Covid-19 patients have valid claims that the Food and Drug Administration overstepped its authority with a campaign warning people not to take the drug, a Fifth Circuit panel ruled Friday, reinstating the trio’s lawsuit against the agency.”

In social media posts, the agency implied that the drug was used only for livestock. It is not. There is a version of ivermectin for humans that the FDA approved long ago. Nevertheless, the FDA disinformed people by saying, “You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y’all. Stop it.”

The opinion was written by Trump-appointee Judge Don Willett, who wrote, “FDA is not a physician. It has authority to inform, announce, and apprise — but not to endorse, denounce or advise.”

The ruling is just in time for The Return of Covid: This Time It’s Personal.

ITEM 13: The reason the FDA opposed ivermectin for Covid-19 was money.

The FDA could not grant emergency use to an untested and unproven vaccine if there was a treatment already available. (See Paragraph 3.) The Rich Men North of Richmond who did this probably now work for the drug companies they regulated.

ITEM 14: Here’s a little-known fact I just made up.

The Epstein promo idea came from Larry Sinclair.

ITEM 15: The Washington Post reported, “Former speaker Nancy Pelosi says she will run for reelection to House in 2024.”

Don’t blame her. Why would she want to move back to San Francisco. People poop in the streets, zombie drug addicts roam the streets and stores are looted daily while the cops do nothing.

ITEM 16: Mish Talk reported, “Biden’s Green Energy Inflation Reduction Act Needs a Big Bailout Already.”

Well, duh. Inflation made the money allocated to fight inflation worth less.

ITEM 17: Daniel Greenfield reported, “64% of D.C. Residents Would Find Trump Guilty Making a Fair Trial Impossible.”

The other 36% are lying.

ITEM 18: Not the Bee reported, “Liberty Safe is under fire after they gave the FBI the passcode for a safe belonging to a friend of the Hodge twins as part of another J6 case meant to punish the enemies of the regime.”

The company Bud Lighted its brand by not providing liberty or safety.

Oh it promised later not to do that again, but the question is how did the FBI know this innocent man had a Liberty Safe account?

ITEM 19: Media-ite reported, “Presidential Libraries of Obama, Bush, Clinton, Reagan and More Warn About State of US Democracy in First Ever Joint Statement.”

Libraries speak!

The story said, “The presidential library for Donald J. Trump is notably absent, mainly because it does not yet exist similarly.”

It doesn’t exist because the FBI confiscated all the documents.

ITEM 20: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “The largest hospital system in Georgia, Emory Healthcare, has scrapped Christmas Eve from its paid holiday calendar and added Juneteenth. Employees will now have to use paid time off to celebrate the December holiday.”

Next up: Saint George Floyd Day replaces Memorial Day.

ITEM 21: The Wall Street Journal reported, “People Rely on Laxatives So Much, There Aren’t Enough to Go Around.”

I wish I had stocked up on Serutan when I had the chance.

Prune Danish, anyone?

ITEM 22: Breitbart reported, “The California State Assembly voted Wednesday to declare August Transgender History Month, the first of its kind in the nation.”

This gives trannies two months because May already is Mental Health Awareness Month.

ITEM 23: Media Matters for America whined, “Fox News runs ads for Mike Huckabee’s climate-denial book targeted at children.”

Oh no. This is terrible. Why his next book might tell kids they cannot change their sex.

ITEM 24: CBS reported, “Mayor Eric Adams says asylum seeker crisis ‘will destroy New York City.’”

Hate to admit it, but he made a good case for open borders. Send them all to NYC, not just a piddling 10,000 a month.

ITEM 25: KTHR reported, “Biden Giving Illegals $2,200 Per Month Welfare, Only $1,400 to U.S. Retirees.”

That pedophile ain’t giving me a dime. I paid into Social Security from the time I was 16 and making $1.30 an hour. It’s my money, not his.

ITEM 26: LeMonde reported, “It was early this summer, before Americans started crossing the Atlantic to savor the sweetness of European life. Prices are very much affordable for them there, and the Wall Street Journal gave the reason as being Europe's inexorable impoverishment: ‘Europeans are facing a new economic reality, one they haven't experienced in decades. They are becoming poorer,’ wrote the business daily.

“In 2008, the eurozone and the US had equivalent gross domestic products (GDP) at current prices of $14.2 trillion and $14.8 trillion respectively (€13.1 trillion and €13.6 trillion). Fifteen years on, the eurozone's GDP is just over $15 trillion, while US GDP has soared to $26.9 trillion.”

The EU is PU as an economic engine, but it sure has socialism down pat.

ITEM 27: Just the News reported, “Football coach who won Supreme Court case to pray on field quits after first prayer.

“Coach Joe Kennedy's resignation letter refers to a ‘series of actions’ by the school district ‘meant to diminish my role and single me out in what I can only believe is retaliation by the school district,’ according to the Seattle Times.”

The school begrudgingly accepted the court ruling but will not allow him to pray near students.

Now if he were a tranny, the school would put him with students.

ITEM 28: Breitbart reported, “House Oversight Committee chairman Rep. James Comer (R-KY) said Thursday on Newsmax TV’s Rob Schmitt Tonight that he believes he has the votes in the House to open an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden.”

Sure, make him a victim of a partisan witch hunt. That’ll assure 4 more years of Biden.

Win the White House and then go after him because impeachment carries no prison time.

ITEM 29: Via Amy Gallagher, Journalist: “This is a cast that is entirely Nordic so it has a lack of diversity.”

Director: “Well, first of all the film takes place in Denmark in the 1750s.”

ITEM 30: The New York Post Star reported, “Trump may have violated copyright law by selling mugshot merchandise.”

No problem. Charge Fulton County a modeling fee of — how much did he raise? $9.4 million? — $9.4 million.

Make that Ten Million.

ITEM 31: Via the Daily Mail, Gavin Newsom announced he is not running for president in deference to Kamala and Willie Brown.

There go my Brylcreem jokes out the window.

ITEM 32: Via Simon Ateba, Dick Cheney released a video and said, “In our nation's 246 year history, there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump.”

How much did Trump pay Cheney to say that?

ITEM 33: NBC reported, “Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell dismissed questions Wednesday about whether he'll retire, vowing to serve out his terms as Republican leader and as a senator from Kentucky.”

Why not? Democrat Senator Ben Ray Luján had a stroke and is finishing out his term. Senator Dianne Feinstein is finishing out her term. Senator John Fetterman had a stroke and was elected. Senator Joe Biden had brain-damaging aneurysms in 1988 and 35 years later he’s president. None of these people can speak properly.

I wonder what Kamala’s excuse is.

ITEM 34: The Arkansas Democrat Gazette reported, “A 46% pay raise. A 32-hour week with 40 hours of pay. A restoration of traditional pensions.

“The demands that a more combative United Auto Workers union has pressed on General Motors, Stellantis and Ford — demands that even the UAW’s own president calls audacious — are edging it closer to a strike when its contract ends Sept. 14.”

If the Big 3 automakers are willing to lose billions building battery-operated cars, the workers who eventually will lose their jobs over this folly may as well get what they can while they can.

Management and Washington rules are destroying another manufacturer. The CEOs behind this stupidity will blame their failure on greedy unions — again.

ITEM 35: The Daily Signal reported, “Former Harvard Journal Editor Accuses Biden of More Plagiarism.”

The editor now works for the Heritage Foundation. How odd that he failed to bring this up three years ago when it may have mattered.