Highlights of the week

Neil Young returns to Spotify because he's always been a hypocrite

ITEM 1: MSNBC bragged, “Fani Willis can remain on Trump’s election case in Georgia, judge rules.”

What a shocker. The judge is a former employee of Willis and donated to her campaign.

ITEM 2: KXAN reported, “People living in Texas can no longer log into and watch videos on Pornhub because the popular adult entertainment website cut off access to the state over an objection to its age verification law.”

Good for Texas. Pretty soon only the blue states will have porn. They will think that is a good thing.

ITEM 3: KGO reported, “According to reports, four of the five Taco Bells in Oakland are now drive-thru only due to rising crime.”

Who robs Taco Bell? It is the Dollar General store of fast foods. But they rob DG too.

ITEM 4: Well, they can always go across the Bay to eat.

The San Francisco Chronicle reported, “One of S.F.’s best burritos now costs $22. Why this acclaimed taqueria nearly doubled its price.”

Welcome to the Democrat Diet. Restaurants close because of crime or double prices due to inflation. It works better than Ozempic.

ITEM 5: Chuck the Schmuck called for national elections in Israel — but not Gaza which attacked, raped, tortured, mutilated and killed 1,400 people and kidnapped 240 more on October 7, setting off the destruction of the Potemkin village about the underground Fort Gaza City.

Israel held its latest election for prime minister two years ago.

ITEM 6: NJ.com reported Eric Carmen’s death, “Legendary singer/songwriter, who faced widespread backlash for supporting Trump, dies at 74.”

Widespread moviemaker, Rob Reiner, who faced praise for opposing Trump, is still alive.

ITEM 7: UPI reported, “Ukrainian drone attacks, paramilitary incursion come days before Russian election.”

Russia held an election but Ukraine cancelled its.

ITEM 8: Scripps News reported, “Tyson Foods wants to hire 52,000 asylum seekers for factory jobs.”

Flashback to 1750: “Simon Legree hires 52 immigrants from Africa.”

ITEM 9: Rolling Stone reported, “Neil Young is placing his music back on Spotify a little over two years after pulling it due to misinformation about vaccines on The Joe Rogan Experience.”

The surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd are laughing at Neil. Again.

ITEM 10: George Stephanopoulos tried to shame Republican Congresswoman Nancy Mace for being raped when she was 16 and still supporting Trump.

The actual rape of Juanita Broaddrick by Clinton did not stop Stephanopoulos from supporting him. Mace did not bother asking Stephanopoulos “have you no shame?” because we all know he doesn’t.

ITEM 11: CNN reported the CDC sent an emergency team to Chicago after five illegal aliens came down with the measles.

How about requiring MMR shots before we place them in a luxury hotel?

ITEM 12: Biden apologized for calling the alleged killer of Laken Riley an illegal alien in the state of the union address.

He did not apologize for calling the victim Lincoln Riley. That’s the real state of the union.

ITEM 13: Fox reported that special counsel Robert Hur testified before a congressional committee to explain why he said Biden was too old and decrepit to prosecute. Things went according to the script until a Democrat asked Hur what his pronouns are.

Hur: What do you mean?

Democrat: What do you want to be called?

Hur: Oh, him of course.

Democrat: But everyone is calling you Hur.

Hur: That’s right.

This continued for five minutes until they finally worked it out. Then the Democrat asked, who’s on first?

ITEM 14: The Jeff Bezos Post said, “Former President Donald Trump took charge of the Republican National Committee this week with the political equivalent of shock and awe — leaving dozens out of work, revamping strategic priorities and raising fears among some former officials about the party’s future support for down-ballot candidates.”

Those former officials did such a great job that the party lost the last three elections.

ITEM 15: The Daily Mail reported, “Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s family outraged as foundation gives namesake award to Elon Musk and Rupert Murdoch after years of only honoring women.”

Women only? Fine, give one to Sarah Palin and another to Riley Gaines.

ITEM 16: Fox reported, “PETA pressures First Lady Jill Biden to swap eggs for potatoes at annual Easter egg roll: ‘Spudtacular.’

“PETA said that a potato roll ‘would be truly inclusive and welcomed by every tot.’”

Every tot? What about tater tots? We live in a world where eggs have rights but babies in the womb do not.

ITEM 17: The Daily Mail reported, “Missouri girl Kaylee, 15, left critically-ill after having her head bashed off concrete during vicious beating, as family says she's suffered severe brain damage.”

A black girl went Trayvon Martin on a white girl. I await Obama’s lecture that the assailant looks like his daughter.

ITEM 18: CNBC reported, “The European Union’s parliament on Wednesday approved the world’s first major set of regulatory ground rules to govern the mediatized artificial intelligence at the forefront of tech investment.”

The bureaucrats have no idea what AI is, but by golly they are going to regulate it.

ITEM 19: Andy Ngo tweeted, “A Middle Eastern immigrant to Norway is now on trial for the 2022 deadly mass shootings targeting gay bars in Oslo. Zaniar Matapour visited a mosque to pray before heading to a Pride event & allegedly shooting 11 people, killing two.

“At the start of the trial, the suspect asked why it was taking place during Ramadan. In the last decade, dozens and dozens of LGBT people have been slaughtered by Muslim extremists in Western countries, far outpacing violence by the far-right. But LGBTQ+ activists refuse to denounce Islamic extremism, instead only focusing on the political right.”

The Totally Straight Man is so observant of Islamic law that he went to places that serve alcohol.

ITEM 20: MRC-TV tweeted, “Residents of Hartford, Connecticut, form an armed community watch group to protect their town from the rise in violence.

“As leftist leaders continue to defund the police, expect more of these groups to form to defend themselves.”

The video in the tweet shows rural white rage in action.

ITEM 21: The Washington Examiner reported, “Newly unearthed communications records show for the first time that the CIA played limited but key roles during the Jan. 6 Capitol riots.”

The CIA is not allowed to interfere in foreign elections. Nobody said anything about domestic ones.

ITEM 22: The Hindustan Times reported, “Advil Pain Equity Project campaign resurfaces, sparks ‘racism’ debate online.”

The story said, “In the Believe My Pain campaign video, which has now gone viral, Advil hosted a roundtable discussion about ‘systemic pain bias in healthcare.’”

So we eliminated separate water fountains for colored people and white people and 60 years later invented separate pain pills for people of color and white people.

ITEM 23: Deadline reported, “Former Vice President Mike Pence said that he will not endorse Donald Trump‘s 2024 presidential bid.”

Let’s see, Bush, Cheney, McCain, Romney, Ryan and now this elf. Loyalty in the Republican Party is like soap in a pigsty — very rare and none of the pigs know how to use it.

ITEM 24: Florida Voice News reported, “Republican National Committee Co-chair Lara Trump announced she will soon be contacting conservative activist Scott Presler to set up a ‘legal ballot harvesting division’ with Presler playing a major role.”

Our wish came true. Not only are Republicans learning to ballot harvest, they hired the man who will do it — and walk your dog at the same time.

ITEM 25: Fox reported, “Federal government wants McDonald’s broken-down ice cream machines fixed.”

I want the government’s broken-down border fixed. Laken Riley didn’t need a McFlurry.

ITEM 26: The Daily Mail reported, “Toronto police sparked outrage after advising residents to leave their car keys at the front door and let thieves to take their vehicles. This shocking message comes as car thefts have soared by 150% over six years in Canada’s largest city, forcing residents to hide their cars in secret locations and fortify them with round-the-clock security.”

In a year, the police will require car owners to top off the gas tanks as well.

ITEM 27: John Nolte reported, “In the latest HarrisX/Forbes poll, which was taken three days following last week’s State of the Union address, Joe Biden saw his approval rating drop and former President Donald Trump’s 2024 lead tick up.”

Dark Brandon failed.

Hence this old crazy Haitian war.

ITEM 28: Republican Senator J.D. Vance of North Hillbilly (Ohio) said, “I think the Hamas thing — obviously, there are a lot of civilians who have died — but Israel expected to lose more troops going into this, and I think they’ve had a more successful military operation than they expected to. And if I have a big fear for Israel, right now, it’s [about] the same exact dynamic — that they’re going to need to try to fuck something else up, because the psychology impact of October 7 was so, so powerful.”

Terrorism is psyops. This backfired, which likely will result in Bibi wiping Hamas off the face of the Earth. He has no choice.

ITEM 29: Same story, Politico said, “The chances that Donald Trump will not face any criminal trials before the November election just went up.

“The only Trump trial with a scheduled start date was the New York hush money case, set to begin March 25. Trump recently requested a 90-day delay in the start date. In a stunning filing yesterday that exposed rifts between state and federal prosecutors, Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg conceded that a 30-day delay would be appropriate. Given that both the prosecution and defense now agree on a delay of some kind, the judge in the case is almost certain to grant one.”

Well, no problem. Maybe Democrats can still have their trials by moving the election back to, say, January 6.

ITEM 30: CNN reported, “The 6% commission on buying or selling a home is gone after Realtors association agrees to seismic settlement.”

We are going about this the wrong way. I’d rather pay a 20% commission and get $500,000 for my house than 6% and get $100,000.

ITEM 31: Fox reported, “Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on Friday announced that state law enforcement had intercepted a vessel coming to the Florida coast carrying dozens of Haitian [illegal aliens], as well as firearms, drugs and night vision gear.”

A spokesman for the illegals said they were just looking for a place to hold a barbecue.