Highlights of the week

Fox found Tucker Carlson’s replacement. Paul Ryan-o.

ITEM 1: CBS reported, “A federal judge in Virginia invalidated a set of federal restrictions that prohibit people under the age of 21 years old from purchasing a handgun from federally licensed firearm dealers, finding the rules violate the Second Amendment.

“In a 65-page decision issued Wednesday, U.S. Senior District Judge Robert Payne ruled in favor of four men who are over the age of 18 but not yet 21 and want to purchase handguns. One of the men, John ‘Corey’ Fraser, attempted to buy a Glock 19x handgun from a federal firearm licensed dealer in May 2022, but was denied the purchase because of his age.”

The decision is fallout from last year’s Bruen decision by the Supreme Court, which struck down New York state’s draconian gun law. Trump’s Triplets will serve on the court for a long time protecting our rights. Now you can see why liberals want the power to investigate them.

ITEM 2: Breitbart reported, “Hunter Biden’s art dealer, Georges Bergès, could be subpoenaed to reveal the price of his paintings sold to anonymous buyers, an Arkansas judge suggested in court Monday during a child support hearing between the president’s son and Lunden Roberts, the mother of his child.

“Hunter Biden, who has refused to be forthcoming about his financials in a paternity case he reopened in 2022 to reduce his child support payments, was slammed by the presiding judge for sealing and redacting his financial information, including the income he earned from selling art as a novice painter to anonymous buyers for up to $500,000.”

Fredo Biden needs to just pay the mom and be done with the scandal before it unravels his father’s presidency.

ITEM 3: Fox reported, “A federal judge on Thursday evening blocked the Biden administration from implementing a policy that allows for the release of migrants without court dates – just hours away from the end of the Title 42 public health order.

“Judge T. Kent Wetherell II imposed a two-week restraining order on the Biden administration policy, which would see migrants released on parole with conditions.

“The policy was outlined in a Border Patrol memo this week, which says that migrants can be allowed into the country on parole — a process typically reserved for ‘urgent humanitarian reasons or significant public benefit’ — if Customs and Border Protection faces overcrowding. The memo calls the practice parole with conditions as migrants are required to make an appointment with Immigration and Customs Enforcement or request a Notice to Appear by mail.”

Trump gave use Stay in Mexico. It worked. Bring him back.

Citizen Free Press tweeted, “American reporters chastised for filming migrants being loaded onto buses in Texas.”

Title 42 was set to expire, which finally gives George the Nazi Collaborator the open borders he spent billions on.

ITEM 4: NYT belched, “Government agencies have proposed dozens of major regulations so far this year. One specifies the kinds of operating cords that can be used on custom window coverings, and another would effectively require carmakers to transition two-thirds of all new passenger cars to electric technology.

Under a little-noticed provision in a House bill that passed this month, all of those regulations would need to come before Congress for a vote before they could go into effect.”

Good. Congress passes laws — not deep state authoritarians protected from any accountability through Civil Service.

ITEM 5: Some conservatives thought Trump going on CNN was suicidal.

I was not one of them. Stuff it, Fox.

3.3 million people tuned in — far more than the 707,000 who watched Anderson Cooper the previous night. He returned on Thursday and apologized for CNN showing something viewers wanted to see and disrupting his nightly nap for his audience.

He said, “You have every right to be outraged today and angry, and never watch this network again.”

We already knew that.

ITEM 6: The Daily Mail reported, “Family of Bill Clinton advisor who admitted Jeffrey Epstein into White House seven times has blocked release of files detailing the death scene after he was found hanging from a tree with a shotgun blast at a ranch 30 miles from his home.”

Guess the rest of the family didn’t want to be shot and hung in a tree.

ITEM 7: Elon Musk bought Twitter, stopped censoring conservatives and let anyone anyone buy a blue check mark. Celebrities declared Musk blew $44 billion purchasing it because Rob Reiner and other scolds will stop tweeting. Eventually.

Zuckerberg pulled the plug on Metaverse this week after blowing $100 billion on it. Celebrities are mum.

ITEM 8: CNBC reported, “Disney on Wednesday reported that its streaming losses narrowed as price increases helped offset the loss of 4 million subscribers at Disney+.”

Most of those quitting were in India. It seems the only audience for woke is in the USA — and even here 600,000 subscribers quit. Go Woke, Get Revoked.

ITEM 9: “Mattel Unveils New Pregnant Ken Doll.”

Is it AP or the Babylon Bee?

ITEM 10: The Daily Mail reported, “Burger lovers rejoice! Lab-grown meat is up to 25 times WORSE for the climate than beef, study claims.”

If Rob Reiner had a test tube baby, would the kid be a lab-grown meathead?

ITEM 11: Fetterman’s pirate grandmother finally showed up for work.

It is cruel to have her in the Senate, but Democrats are cruel to Fetterman as well. It is all about power.

ITEM 12: Motor Trend said, “Guess Which State Wants to Pave Its Roads With Radioactive Material.”

It’s answer was Florida, but all 50 states do. Discover magazine reported, “Everything Emits Radiation—Even You.”

It took two seconds to Google this.

ITEM 13: Fox 5 reported, “Atlanta Mayor Andre Dickens announced a $55,000 proposal to help support the transgender community of Atlanta. The funding, if approved, would allocate donations to a variety of organizations that focus on the betterment of trans adults and youth.”

If he really wanted to show his support, he would get castrated and get a boob job to show his solidarity with his tranny brethren.

ITEM 14: The Daily Mail reported, “A jury has found that Donald Trump sexually abused E. Jean Carroll. The panel of six men and three women also found that Trump injured advice columnist Carroll in a Manhattan Bergdorf Goodman dressing room and defamed her, ordering the former president to pay her $5 million in damages.”

So he has to pay her $5 million because he didn’t rape her.

I looked at her picture. I am going to have to mortgage Mar-a-Poca.

ITEM 15: Tucker Carlson brought his show’s commentary to Twitter attracting 20 million viewers in a few hours.

An NBC presenter asked, “Will anybody be able to police what Carlson says or is this the point? It’s just a free for all?”

Fox made him bigger and stronger.

And the news channel still has to pay him.

Oh, and the libs who demanded his firing ain’t tuning in. Mediaite reported, “Cable News Ratings Friday May 5: Fox News Places Last in Demo in Tucker’s Old Timeslot.”

ITEM 16: Newsweek reported, “A new poll revealed that Senator Elizabeth Warren, a Massachusetts Democrat, would be losing by a huge margin in a hypothetical head-to-head with former Republican Governor Charlie Baker.”

Just what we need, another Romney in the Senate.

ITEM 17: Just the News reported, “A California community college is investigating a tenured history professor for the serious misconduct of handing out chocolate, he claims.”

The chocolate bars are called He/Him and the version without nuts is called She/Her.

It is gays versus trannies in California. My money is on the T-girls. I mean, look at all the athletic trophies they have.

ITEM 18: The Eastern Herald reported, “Russia’s Budget Deficit Rises To $45 Billion In Four Months.”

Amateurs.

ITEM 19: New York Magazine asked, “Why on Earth Would Joe Manchin Run for President?”

$

My second answer is $$

My third answer is $$$

ITEM 20: Oilprice reported, “European Natural Gas Prices Are Set For A Sixth Consecutive Weekly Loss.”

It is called summer.

ITEM 21: The Baltimore Banner reported, “The city of Baltimore has filed a federal lawsuit against car manufacturers Kia and Hyundai, joining a number of cities who say the companies created a public nuisance by making cars that can be easily stolen.”

Hmm. Maybe murderers should sue their victims.

ITEM 22: AP reported, “The U.S. Abrams tanks needed for training Ukrainian forces have arrived in Germany slightly ahead of schedule and are on their way to the Grafenwoehr Army base where the training will begin in two to three weeks, U.S. officials said Thursday.”

Our tanks should have arrived in Kyiv in 1945 and taken the Soviets out.

ITEM 23: NYT whined, “Trump's second-term goal: Shattering more norms.”

Paragraph 4 said, “But his performance [on CNN] nonetheless signaled an escalation of his bid to bend the government to his wishes as he runs again for the White House, only this time with a greater command of the Republican Party's pressure points and a plan to demolish the federal bureaucracy.”

Unleash the wrecking balls because the norms have failed America.

And by norms I mean Norm Fauci, Norm Milley and Norm Biden — but not Norm from Cheers.

ITEM 24: Merrick Garland’s DOJ announced, “Congressman George Santos Charged with Fraud, Money Laundering, Theft of Public Funds, and False Statements.”

When do they arrest Hunter Biden who became a bribe millionaire?

ITEM 25: The European Conservative reported, “The traditional parade in honour of St. Joan of Arc, organised each year by the royalist movement Action Française, scheduled to take place on Avenue de l’Opéra in central Paris on Sunday, May 14th, has been banned by the Paris police prefecture.

“Action Française has responded by announcing that it will file an appeal under the special procedure of référé-liberté to allow it to take place. Such an appeal to an administrative judge may be made in the event of an emergency: if an administrative decision seriously and illegally affects a fundamental right, such as freedom of assembly, freedom of expression, right to property, etc.”

Joan of Arc banned in Paris. It figures. Communists hate Christianity. Muslim immigrants hate Christianity. And the Macron government hates the French.

ITEM 26: Outkick reported, “Georgia’s football team will not be visiting the White House to celebrate its 2023 national championship. The news comes after the Bulldogs were invited to attend a summer celebration in the nation’s capital.”

Trump hosted college champion college football teams within weeks of winning. Biden wants to do it in summer. I guess he is a TCU fan.