Highlights of the Week

Readers have wished I bring back Highlights of the News, a daily feature of my old blog. Be careful of that which you wish.

ITEM 1: The New York Post reported, “King Charles evicting Harry, Meghan from Frogmore Cottage, giving it to Andrew.”

I guess Harry is frogless now.

It is pretty bad when your father thinks you are worse than a pedophile.

Of course, I use the word father loosely. But James Hewitt denies being the prince’s real father. Smart man. He avoided paying all that back child support.

ITEM 2: NBC reported, “Lori Lightfoot becomes the first Chicago mayor in 40 years to lose re-election.” The other was Chicago’s first woman mayor, Jane Byrne. (I won’t make the joke about the city being Byrned-out.)

Don’t worry, Chicago. Any time you want Lightfoot back, just say Beetlejuice three times.

ITEM 3: AP reported, “Shoeshine stands are disappearing across the country due to more casual workwear and remote working.”

Underdog hardest hit.

ITEM 4: CNN reported, “The owner of Insider and Politico tells journalists: AI is coming for your jobs.”

Wow. They built a robot that lies.

ITEM 5: Ron DeSantis wrote, “Why I Stood Up to Disney.”

He began, “On Monday, I signed the law ending the Walt Disney Co.’s self-governing status over 43 square miles in central Florida, an area almost as big as Miami. Disney no longer has its own government. It has to live under the same laws as Universal Studios, SeaWorld and every other company in our state and is still on the hook for the old district’s municipal debt.”

Disney should have ignored his lack of height and let him ride that roller coaster 35 years ago. Never mess with a 9-year-old boy with ambition.

ITEM 6: Joe Manchin will appear on CBS’s Face The Nation on Sunday.

Tune in to find out which of his two faces shows up for the interview.

ITEM 7: The New York Times reported, “Lab Leak Most Likely Caused Pandemic, Energy Dept. Says.”

That extinguished PolitiFact’s pants, which were on fire.

Next: Oh and it was part of PolitiFact’s Lie of the Year: lies about covid.

It said, “Meanwhile, disinformers flooded the Internet with wild claims: Masks reduced oxygen. Masks trapped fungus. Masks trapped coronavirus. Masks just didn’t work.”

Are we sure those weren’t the truths of the year?

ITEM 8: Meanwhile, Woody Harrelson shocked liberals by using his opening monologue on SNL to denounce vaccine mandates. How dare a comic use his monologue for politics!

Unless he is Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel…

ITEM 9: Life News reported, “A local Massachusetts Democratic committee voted not to remove its chairman, Michael Hugo, after he suggested unborn babies with disabilities should be aborted because they are a drain on public school funding.”

Why would they remove him?

He elucidated their position perfectly.

ITEM 10: President Bribedman continues his 50-year record of being wrong on every foreign policy.

Now he knows what a Brazilian wax is.

ITEM 11: Zelensky said if his country loses, “The U.S. will have to send their sons and daughters exactly the same way as we are sending our sons and daughters to war. And they will have to fight. Because it’s NATO that we’re talking about, and they will be dying, God forbid, because it’s a horrible thing.”

Don’t worry kiddies. If you have a blue and yellow flag on your Twitter account, you get a draft deferment.

ITEM 12: The Truth About Cars reported, “Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador announced that Tesla will be building a plant south of the border. Confirmation comes following a call with CEO Elon Musk — held on Monday — with promises that the American company would be issuing a series of commitments designed to address regional water scarcity. The alleged plant is said to be located in Monterrey, which has historically struggled to cope with drought.”

We now know Tesla really is an American company because it will build its cars in Red China and Mexico.

ITEM 13: The Washington Examiner reported, “New York City is planning to compensate protesters from a 2020 demonstration following George Floyd's death with $21,500 each in a new settlement.

“In the proposed settlement, the city has agreed to pay $21,500 to each member of the class-action suit, plus an additional $2,500 to those who were issued Desk Appearance Tickets.”

Add the Soros money and it is not bad pay for a day’s work.

BMM — Black Mayors Matter.

ITEM 14: CNN reported, “U.S. condemns Israel far-right minister's call for Palestinian town to be erased.”

Meanwhile, Israel condemns the far-left U.S. EPA administrator for erasing East Palestine.

ITEM 15: The New York Post reported, “Sen. Bob Casey’s campaigns have funneled more than half a million dollars to a printing company owned by his sister and brother-in-law, raising ethics questions about a family business arrangement spanning more than 20 years.

“Casey (D-Pa.), 62, has spent more than $500,000 on services from Universal Printing Company over the course of his nearly three-decade political career — more than $200,000 of which was paid between 2005 and 2022 by Bob Casey for Senate, Inc., according to Federal Election Commission filings.”

Seems legit. I mean, how many printers can there be in a small state like Pennsylvania?

ITEM 16: We Love Trump reported, “A bill proposed in the Montana Legislature would ban COVID-19 jab recipients from donating blood.”

I hear even vampires won’t take it, which means I can put my wooden stakes away. See? The vaccine was good for something.

ITEM 17: Fox reported, “College softball player suffers injury after hitting go-ahead grand slam, opponents help her around bases.”

It wasn’t just a nice gesture. Under the rules, her teammates could not carry her around the bases. Oh and the grand-slam helped her team win the game.

Good sportsmanship may be dead but good sportswomanship lives on.

ITEM 18: Media-ite headline, “Cable News Ratings Tuesday February 28: Jake Tapper’s Bill Maher Interview Leads CNN, Beats MSNBC in Demo.”

Paragraph 3: “While Fox News’s Hannity still won the hour, CNN did manage to top MSNBC’s Alex Wagner in the demo.”

As usual, Hannity got more viewers than the two others combined. My headline is “For one night, CNN didn’t suck as bad as MSNBC.”

ITEM 19: Axios reported, “Bald Eagles hit hard by bird flu outbreak.”

Joe Walsh hardest hit.

ITEM 20: The Daily Caller reported, “Police issued an arrest warrant Wednesday for defensive tackle Jalen Carter of the University of Georgia for his alleged involvement in a speed racing incident in January that resulted in two fatalities.”

He shouldn’t worry. The Browns will take him. He will join Deshaun Watson, the massage parlor creep, and Kareem Hunt, the woman kicker.

ITEM 21: The New York Times whined, “Leave Russia? A Year Later Many Companies Can’t, or Won’t.

“Not all Western companies packed up and left Russia after its invasion of Ukraine. Some say Moscow has tied their hands, while others choose to stay put.”

But NYT is OK with Nike and the rest using slave labor in Red China.

ITEM 22: Stacker reported, “100 colleges whose grads go on to earn the most.”

No. 1, MIT. No. 2, Harvey Mudd College. No. 3, Princeton. STEM matters.

ITEM 23: The Maine Wire reported, “6th Grader Reads from Lurid Library Book at Windham Middle School.”

The story said, “Knox Zajac, an 11–year-old sixth grader, spoke up at a school board meeting last week to read aloud from the illustrated romance for teenagers, Nick and Charlie, that he had checked out of his school’s library. The story begins with two early teen boys stealing wine from their parents and proceeding to experiment sexually with one another.”

Is the Bible available at that library?

ITEM 24: Pamela Denise Long wrote in Newsweek, “Real Antiracism Would Mean Not Canceling Scott Adams.”

She is CEO of Youthcentrix® Therapy Services, a business focused on helping organizations implement trauma-informed practices and diversity, equity, inclusion, and antiracism at the systems level.

It is a sad world when instead of denouncing the 47% of blacks who won’t say it is OK to be white, newspapers went after the man who pointed it out. No one knew about that poll until Dilbert’s creator made it news.

They should have kept the cartoon and dumped the racist subscribers.

By the way, Dilbert lives online.

ITEM 25: Zero Hedge reported, “NBC Reporter Goes To Crimea, Shocks Viewers By Telling The Truth.”

Looks like there will be a job opening at NBC.

ITEM 26: Patrick Wojahn, D-Homo, is the first gay mayor of College Park, Maryland. Let’s see how he is doing.

The Washington Blade reported, “College Park mayor arrested on child pornography charges.”

I like the city’s statement in the story: “Mayor Wojahn has served in this position since 2015 and on the Council since 2007. The City of College Park thanks Mayor Wojahn for his many years of dedicated service.”

He was always there for the children.

ITEM 27: The Hill reported, “Romney slams Buttigieg: ‘He’s not ready for the responsibility he has.’”

Wow.

Romney finally takes a shot at a Democrat. Someone must have told him that Paternity Pete is a secret Trump fan.

ITEM 28: NBC reported, “Former Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., is joining the University of Virginia as a professor of practice, the university's Center for Politics announced Wednesday.”

I guess The View didn’t want her.

ITEM 29: Maybe Paul Ryan’s Fox will hire her.

Radar Online reported, “At least three prominent Fox News stars are set to be axed from the embattled news network to help Rupert Murdoch save face amid the ongoing $1.6 billion defamation lawsuit against him and his company, RadarOnline.com has learned.”

The story said, “Among the names on the list of those to be potentially axed from the network include popular Fox News stars such as Sean Hannity, Maria Bartiromo, and Jeanine Pirro.”

Murdoch is getting Trumpenfreude for being a frenemy of Donald Trump.

ITEM 30: Breitbart reported, “Beginning in April 2023, Discover will become the first credit card issuer to track gun purchases made by their cardholders.”

Big news! People still use Discover!

Not for long.

ITEM 31: Pennsylvania Capital-Star reported, “U.S. Sens. Bob Casey and John Fetterman of Pa. have joined a bipartisan group of senators to introduce legislation aimed at preventing future freight train derailments like the one last month in East Palestine, Ohio.”

Fetterman legislates! Another stroke of genius by the Democrat Party.

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