130 Comments

Without the farce of immunity protecting them, most federal prosecutors would be bigger felons than the average defendant they charge. The media leaks of grand jury testimony alone are usually bigger crimes than the process crimes they go after.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by Don Surber

Some good humor here this morning from Don. As for Item #12, I hope everyone understands that Ukraine has already lost. It’s only the country’s leadership that has won. They will eventually retire wealthy and watch as the US and others spend billions of dollars to rebuild the country we paid to destroy. There aren’t enough US dollars yet to be printed that could make Ukraine the victor over Russia. It’s over! The only thing left to be decided are the number of dead and how much of the country will still be standing. If you want to know what “bombing a country back to the stone ages” looks like, visit Ukraine today. What we are doing to Ukraine today in the name of defeating Russia is disgusting. Isn’t there a more ethical and morally right way of subsidizing our military industrial complex without destroying Ukraine?

Expand full comment

Check out the owners of all these mega-mansions…

https://twitter.com/Thekeksociety/status/1776975717034856842

Expand full comment

This is a modern, 21st century version of the Vietnam War. 3 Things: 1. The USA & the EU should have given the Ukraine all that they needed at the beginning, instead of in bits and pieces. 2. Not allowed military age males immigrate from Ukraine. 3. Turn on the US oil spigot.

Expand full comment

The only casually stated goal of the WH or any on those idiots like Lyndsay Graham regarding our commitment is to stop Russian aggression. BS. They cant or wont fix any of our problems so they create a deflection. The next time I hear one of those morons talk about our debt I will surely have a coronary attack.

Expand full comment
founding
May 4Liked by Don Surber

Item 15-

A hundred years ago, everyone had a horse; only the rich could afford cars. Now everyone has a car; only the rich can afford horses. The stables have turned.

Expand full comment

Today’s winner! LOL

Expand full comment

I think today’s winner is sinking de mayo!

Expand full comment
founding

Nice turn of phrase.

Expand full comment
founding
May 4Liked by Don Surber

32. The “classified records were also sent to Mar-a-Lago by the FBI as part of the scam. Hope Trump is ready to hang all the traitors on the mall. Wonder if Fani and Bragg are sweating? Highlights was very Punny today Don!

Expand full comment

I hope Trump makes it....he might shoot himself in the back of the head....they are really despaerate.

Expand full comment
founding

They won’t hurt Trump physically. It’s my feeling that they’ll go after RFK. No Secret Service and he damages Biden more. If RFK was not in the race, they could make the numbers look close enough that they could easily steal the election . If they don’t take out RFK expect them to steal Congress and let Trump win. They’ll just tie him up for four years and nothing will get accomplished. Or they will impeach him for the third time. The only way to crush this shadow government is with a heavy hand. Unfortunately, I don’t think Donald is up for that job.

Expand full comment

They’re already planning to refuse to certify his election if he wins.

Can you spell INSURRECTION?

Expand full comment
founding
May 4Liked by Don Surber

Scott has a great idea to work with fraternities all across the country to register voters. Hotty Toddy!

Expand full comment

That's my guy Scott Pressler! My finances are kind of tight right now because I'm back in the dating? Business ;-), but He is my second subscription, for $3 a month, a little less than my $5 a month for the historical Oracle from West Virginia. If I were ever to go back into being rich, the chances are looking pretty dim at this moment since a wife?? Is a pretty big investment, although I will say the dividends are extremely rewarding, my third subscription would be another Scott, Scott Adams of Dilbert Fame. I'm planning now to cancel one of my favorite subscriptions EPOCH TIMES. Spell check? I've had them for quite some time soon after I married Mary. Stay tuned.

Expand full comment

re: back in the dating business. Take it from a veteran of two divorces, one recently at 70: DON'T DO IT!!! OK, I'm a slow learner....

Watch yourself some Red Pill videos on YouTube, or even better the ladies' own videos on TikTok. You'd have to be out of your mind to marry in the West these days. There is a Very Good Reason that 80% of divorces are filed by the woman: they have every incentive to divorce and none to stay married; for men it's the opposite. Not that interested in eating cat food and sleeping in my car in my dotage, thankyouverymuch.

If you must, though, I've a nephew and a good friend who are both checking out the Filipinas in-country, and are delighted. Me? I'm waiting for sex-robots; hell, even a half-decent one.

Expand full comment
founding

Or a nice Eastern European girl. There were some lovely post-doctoral students in Chemistry...

Expand full comment

I'm in love with me some Russian girls, let me tell ya....hothouse flowers, they ain't.

Expand full comment

You don't understand how blessed I am. Illustration number one. My first two serious girlfriends both dumped their fiance's in record time. The second one was from Chicago and she dumped her fiance in the driveway when I came to pick her up. I married her and we were married for 40 years before she died from a a decade long battle with cancer. The first serious girlfriend pursued me gently like a hound dog does a rabbit only he's not going to chew it up or she's not going to chew it up. She is a Lutheran girl from the Gary Aetna area who road was me on the bus at her suggestion to football games because we were in the band together. After she graduated at the top of the class valedictorian she went away to a Lutheran college in valpo, that got in touch with me and invited herself to my senior open house. She had learned how to put on makeup and dressed up in a form fitting red dress that reminded me of the red dress girl on The matrix. When she said and my dad's easy chair all of my male friends and that's all that was there sat around her like lap dogs drooling almost on her dress she had turned to drop dead gorgeous. During our leisurely summer dating at the beach she told me when I was worried about going to call and she said don't worry about it, I'll work while you go to college. Unfortunately or fortunately at the end of the summer I got very busy with my job in the steel mills and we drifted apart.

Part 2 of The Lutheran story I'll just briefly summarize that's the best advice I ever had for preaching a tragic sermon at a community shaking event that involved a raging bull and a bloody red barn came about as I was slowly walking the community fearing and dreading and meditating on what I would preach at the sermon. My beer drinking or sipping minister friend, Lutheran of course, said, WELL WHEN IN DOUBT PREACH THE GOSPEL!!

Part 3 of the Lutheran story. My young neighbor friend was born in '83. She has been in this garden Court apartments for 13 years praying for a man to come into my life. I moved here at Thanksgiving and when the weather warmed up and we could sit outside she immediately asked me to come and sit with her on her front porch. She's been taking the initiative heavily like my first girlfriend and my first wife, who called me on the phone to invite me to a turnabout hayride in the summer of 67.

Would anybody like to guess what church her adopted parents are from here in Plymouth? Also part of the message, my first wife was adopted. Proverb says what a man finds a wife, she is a gift from God. I'm aware now that that means custom ordered. I'm assuming that means that some of those supposedly bad wives were custom design for a hard-headed or hard-hearted man, but I'm not the judge. My neighbor friend is coming over soon so I have to cut this conversation off. Evil laugh. Be very careful when you feed Kraft marshmallows to Al the alligator at the Okefenokee Swamp. And now you know why I say later Gators.

Expand full comment
founding
May 4·edited May 4Liked by Don Surber

A story that was not in today's lineup of news because it was not a separate news item was the lighthearted (and much needed) frat humor in response to the campus riots.

Recall frat humor?

It was one of the things Alissa Heinerscheid from InBev said was wrong with Budweiser marketing. She said she was there to change the "fratty" and "out of touch" humor in their messaging.

I didn't see ANY fratty out of touch humor on college campuses this week. It was quite in-touch humor against the illegal occupation and destruction of taxpayer funded campus buildings.

Can someone start the "fratty humor" party? Their campaign ads might help me survive these dark days of the Biden/Obama coup.

Expand full comment
founding

I was not frat but had friends in them. Rebels without a cause /sometimes I miss those days.

Expand full comment
founding

"Rebels without a cause" probably described much of our days as we transitioned into adulthood without any real responsibility yet. I think it is a normal rite of passage to growing up. I never had a frat experience - always the commuter student - but I am glad they stood tall on some of these campuses last week. I am sure you would have done the same thing.

Expand full comment
founding

Guarandamnteed every one of my amigos would have said pack sand or move to it.

Expand full comment

Item 21

Mosby by is the lowest form of “public servant”. To her we are the servant part to serve her and her ilk. I hope she gets the most part of the 40 years and sell those properties in Florida. Grifters not welcome.

Item 28

Elon can’t make low rider Teslas because the first and only time the vehicle would go over a speed bump the battery pack would be damaged, the car totaled and perhaps one of this Tesla bond fires would ensue.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by Don Surber

Your ‘Orthodox Easter after Passover’ makes perfect sense to me.

It 5- 2nd Boeing whistleblower suicide.

You just know the FBI are looking for a white-supremacist connection.

Expand full comment
founding

I'm sure they'll create one, if necessary...

Expand full comment

When I came back from my paid gov’t vacation, I discovered a newly-retired FBI agent had bought the house behind us. We’ve become friendly neighbors, even played golf together once, but I learned not to talk about the FBI (and for all I know, he knows I’m a felon).

I asked once if he knows Christopher Wray personally, and he said he’s a great guy. He’d sat next to him on a plane trip, and they talked about their families. I just said, “That’s nice.”

What I was reminded of though was the joke about ‘Who really knew Al Capone- Elliot Ness, or the neighbor kids who Capone would toss a quarter to?’

Expand full comment

I always marvel when watching a movie about the Mafia, say any of the “Godfather” series, as the best example.

Here are this bunch of cold blooded, ruthless killers, involved in gun running, drugs, and every kind of immoral and illegal act imaginable, who make the hugest fuss over their affinity with the Catholic Church, say their kids First Holy Communion, or someone’s wedding, or funeral, constantly making the sign of the Cross, and asking for their Mama’s prayers for them.

Talk about cognitive dissonance! Whew baby!

Expand full comment
founding

White House occupant today fits right in Suzie.

Expand full comment
founding

It's possible that he IS a really nice guy – but it means nothing.

I won't judge Wray the individual, that's up to The Almighty – but I CAN judge actions – and Wray's comportment of himself in his capacity of Director of the FBI is one of pure, unadulterated evil.

I'm sure Capone was charming as hell – as long as you weren't the one crossing him.

Expand full comment
founding

Two-faced ? NFT

Expand full comment
founding

I'm inclined to think I'm not – but if you ever saw mine, you'd understand why I might be amenable to having a second one... ;)

Expand full comment
founding

Not you but the death Wray NFT.

Expand full comment

A laugh loudly comment. Thank you Steve.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by Don Surber

POLL: I was going to say Noem shot her political career in the foot, but maybe she shot her paw.

Expand full comment

I'm sure, Reverend, this doesn't refer to you, but Governor Christy gnome, bad secretary, did not commit a federal offense or crime against humanity by putting down and untrainable dog. We are overly sensitive about our pets, but we can't afford to adopt all of them, although there are those sometimes heroically and sometimes stupidly making an effort. I especially enjoy the program pitbulls and parolees.

Expand full comment

Country people are practical. You do what you have to do, and you don't pay the vet $200 to kill your dog when you know the duty falls to you. You just do it and go to the next task you have to get done before it gets dark. Then you get up at daybreak and you do it all over again. No sense to piss and moan about it. Just part of life.

Expand full comment
founding

Spot on Jim.

Expand full comment

I'm surprised that the Dems see a problem with a "late term" abortion of a puppy??

Expand full comment

What was the name of Obama's favorite dog ?

Expand full comment

Agreed, fellas. I've had to do it myself, although it was more of a mercy kill; my Blue was started having seizures, and I couldn't afford a vet. I took responsibility and sent her on ahead myself. Buried her amongst the Salt Cedars about a mile from where I lived at the time.

Expand full comment
founding

I like Tulsi, like DJT a reformed Dem. Neuters RFK. Would be good in 28.

Expand full comment
founding

Christ is Risen

He is Risen Indeed.

Thanks for noting our Pascha (Easter), Don. Our little company is shut down for the holiday and I've had to explain to a bunch of people that no, it's not Passover and we're not a sect of Judaism. Well, I guess you could claim that.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks

I lost Orthodox readers over Ukraine

Saddens me

Expand full comment

Two points for the Iron Butterfly Mention.

Two points for the Deep Purple "Hush"" mention, one of my favorite bands.

2+2 = 5 points! (Stanford education)

Couldn't Kristi just have called animal control or taken the dog to the humane society? I'm not condemning her, but I am asking.

What the Obiden Simulacrum is really doing with the Israel-Hamas war by Lee Smith, one of my other favorite reporters:

"The key fact is this: The regional order that Trump restored has long been part of the formula that ensures continued U.S. domestic peace and prosperity. To put it another way, the moves made by Obama and now Biden are not primarily about destabilizing the Middle East. Rather, they are designed to destabilize the United States.

The Biden team’s moves to shelter Hamas are best understood in the context of a revolutionary program of domestic initiatives that aim to reconstitute American society on a new basis, and which in turn require the outright rejection of the country’s history and culture, its existing social arrangements, and constitutional order. The current regime has weaponized the security state, labeled its opponents “domestic terrorists,” and waged a third-world-style campaign against the opposition candidate because it’s a revisionist faction. Its political and cultural manifesto is a program for remaking America, whether through social pressure, or censorship, or bureaucratic fiat, or threats of violence, or actual violence. Among other devices to transform America, the Biden administration has opened the border to at least 7 million illegal aliens (and counting), many from places in the Middle East where Hamas is revered, and for whom political violence means steady, well-paid work.

It’s not the traditional U.S.-led order in the Middle East that the revisionist faction, Obama’s faction, is most determined to dismantle but rather the existing order in the U.S. And it’s not Israel that it’s most keen to grind into dust, but America. For the party that Obama remade in his image to triumph at home, the Palestinians must win."

https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/news/articles/saving-hamas

FJB

FBO

Trump 2024, if you don't want to learn Arabic and Chinese

Expand full comment

Lee Smitth’s article, “Saving Hamas”, has to be one of the most cogent and clarifying expose of the roots of ME and US turmoil written to date.

And it all lands squarely at the feet of the incomprehensibly diabolical Obama.

Expand full comment

Yes indeedy it do

Expand full comment
founding

Great post Tanto and agrees with my gut on ozero/bidet diplomacy.

Expand full comment

These f-g guys.....

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by Don Surber

Cuellar should have kept his paid off democrat mouth shut about the border. He’s now learning the consequences of straying off the plantation and saying something not fully approved by the narrative writers.

Expand full comment

NYC Mayor Eric Adams is getting a taste of that too.

Expand full comment

Oh yeah.

My wife and I were trying to figure where he went wrong.

Expand full comment
May 4Liked by Don Surber

“ITEM 19: Bloomberg reported, “Trump is narrowing his gaze on a handful of potential running mates: Ohio Senator JD Vance, North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum, Florida Senator Marco Rubio and South Carolina Senator Tim Scott.”

Ugh. I wouldn’t go near Congress for a VP today. I’d want someone so far removed from DC they might have to be extraterrestrial!

Expand full comment

Extraterrestrial? Biden did that!

Expand full comment

Ha! Everyone is on a roll with the humor this morning--so many zingers!

Don's marvelous Highlights got it started-- my favorite was the "Sinko de Mayo".

Expand full comment
founding

#1: In these cases where a government official(s) has obviously, with intent and in clear violation of the law, acted to advance an ideological agenda item, and said official(s) are in fact, guilty, they should also be held personally liable for any and all legal fees - not the government body, the official(s), themselves.

#2: Fill the Rio Grande with alligators and pirhanas.

#3: Once a whore, always a whore - the only difference is the service performed.

#4: Nah, she's not a board member - she's a 1099 contractor.

#7: Does anyone buy the mayor's talk? I don't. Though, there IS the possibility he's gone off his meds and is thinking clearly, like an American. We'll see...

#8: Thank God SOME of the über-wealthy are doing SOMETHING, even if they aren't oriented toward a republican political ideology. Conservatives (so-called) who would be among that 1% but do nothing are every bit the cowards that drive lifted Ford F-150 duallys with a gun rack in the cab; a Virginia battle appliqué on the back window; a Gadsden flag, and μολὼν λαβέ bumper stickers on either end of the rear bumper but refuse to stand with others with much less but are still willing to risk what they have.

#9: Yet Ford continues to be all-in on electric vehicles. It can only be because of the federal "green" energy subsidy. Ending it needs to be among the first five things Trump does should he be elected, once again - along with replacing the agency head who otherwise would simply refuse to carry out the directive.

#11: Unless the hate-speech law went with him, it isn't much of even a symbolic victory. What the hell is someone with a name like that doing as Scotland's head of state?

#13: K-K-Ken K-K-Klippenstein doesn't deserve inclusion in the same sentence with Greenwald, Taibbi, and Weiss; and they don't deserve the insult of such an association.

#14: Voters in Utah have seldom, if ever, been accused of being very bright - see senators Mike Lee, and Mitt Romney - they keep returning these morons to Washington, DC.

Then again, that keeps them out of the state for most of their terms, so those voters may be smarter than that for which I'm giving them credit.

#19: Good Lord, no - not Little Marco, and not Tim "Nice Guy" Scott. Burgum would be my preference at this point, if Tulsi Gabbard isn't a possibility.

#20: This immediately comes to mind:

https://youtu.be/7ZVWIELHQQY?si=z8_oiidZ2Hpezk3l

#21: My $ is on it happening.

#23: Good for Bibi.

#24: Damn straight.

#29: Ten percent would have saved him the trouble.

#32: Sadly, my $ is on banana republic.

Thank you, Brother Don, for your service in doing the Lord's work! My Saturday morning is off to a great beginning!

Expand full comment

Especially enjoyed item 4 (ps--think it should be item 5?)--"Nah,...she's a 1099 contractor"!

Also, your item 11--I had the same thought--Humza Yousaf--head of Scotland???

Expand full comment

Elections have consequences indeed.

Expand full comment
founding
May 4Liked by Don Surber

“Risk takers led to the dominance of the gas-powered car.”

The new pyramid scheme in business colleges is Entrepreneurship programs. As if you can teach it. What a scam. The most important characteristic ALL successful entrepreneurs have is they are risk-lovers. Most people are risk-averse.

It’s time to clean up American colleges and universities because that is one of the few comparative advantages we have. It’s why “they” are trying to take it down.

Expand full comment

the gop would love to put a woman at the top of the ticket or even the vp spot but their standards are higher than the donk party. standards don't equal success however.

keep looking boys.

Expand full comment

GOP is not picking President Trump's VP.

Most likely he already has one picked and is making arrangements for the next MAGA presidential run in 2028.

He's been working on the hostile takeover of the GOP for about 8 years and is succeeding, even tho the commies and mussies won't accept it.....Maroons one and all!

Expand full comment

Today is Sunday WAR DAY 212. I'm sitting with a cat on my lap all caught up on job responsibilities and perusing through the delightful mental health comments from my favorite social group. I must ask for your indulgence in my bad behavior for sometimes deliberately saying F U dumbass libs. Amazon AI News mixer that I turn on frequently today put up a panel of zombie libs commenting about Trump and I shouted the forbidden words and turn the TV off. Technically, although highly offensive, it is not a swear word but an exclamation word and I felt it was very appropriate to say that out loud. My new friend from the neighborhood would actually be delighted that I said that although she feels uncomfortable with the word also. Carry on, My warrior friends.

Expand full comment

Oops. Senior moment. I forgot my original comment for this spot. I'm slowly assembling a dream team of women warriors to help Donald Trump. My first choice for vice president has been and probably always will be Tulsi gabbard. Right now I think Kerry lake belongs in the Senate for about 50 years sorry evil laugh. I guarantee you she'll look a hell of a lot better than Nancy pelosi at that age.

Expand full comment

Final thought on female warriors. Kristi Noemi might be a great ambassador to Russia for several reasons. She's used to the cold, and the Russians are always short on grain, and I know that Moscow has a stray dog problem. Don't forget that Russians really appreciate icandy in the feminine form. They're pretty good at producing their own eye candy.

Expand full comment

harriet hagman. she;s a stone cold killer maddog.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkaqkCwgeVA

Expand full comment