Highlights of the week

Not government funded.

As Glenn Reynolds said, “Don Surber is having too much fun.”

ITEM 1: NPR reported, “Trump says the U.S. will take over Gaza and relocate its people. What does it mean?”

Trump may not be the only bidder to buy Gaza. I hear word that a certain ex-Fox commentator no one can stand wants to buy the strip and name it after himself.

Welcome to the Geraldo Riviera.

ITEM 2: CNN reported, “Netanyahu gifted Trump a golden pager during their meeting in Washington.”

Boy, talk about your mixed messages.

ITEM 3: The New York Post reported, “Two George Mason University law students won a lawsuit on Friday after they faced no-contact orders from school officials for speaking out against a proposal for feminine hygiene products to be included in male restrooms.”

In America, students school law schools.

ITEM 4: Times Now News reported, “Nestlé To Discontinue Beloved KitKat Vegan Chocolate Bars.”

This begs the question: Are there any meaty, beefy KitKats made from real cats?

ITEM 5: CNN reported, “FBI turns over details of 5,000 employees who worked on January 6 cases to Trump Justice Department, as agents sue.”

I don’t know which bugs me more, that the FBI expended that much effort to stop Trump from ever being president again or that the FBI has that many employees.

Actually it has 38,000 employees. I remember when we only needed Efrem Zimbalist Jr. to protect our nation.

ITEM 6: Insurrection Barbie tweeted, “According to the Columbia Journalism Review, USAID supported 6,200 journalists, 707 news outlets and 279 media sector civil society organizations in 30 different countries.”

That included America.

I stand for an independent media. Unfortunately, all we have are these leeches.

ITEM 7: Welfare Queen Politico reported, “Trump says he’ll reverse Biden initiative to phase out plastic straws.”

I figure, I already pay for it so I may as well get my money’s worth by linking to it.

ITEM 8: NBC reported, “President Donald Trump on Thursday signed an executive order sanctioning the International Criminal Court, accusing the body of improperly targeting the United States and Israel.

“The order includes both financial sanctions and visa restrictions against unspecified ICC officials and their family members found to have assisted in investigations of U.S. citizens or allies.”

Democrats fear sanctions on the FBI are next.

ITEM 9: NBC tweeted, “The U.S. Military Academy at West Point disbands cultural clubs in response to President Trump’s executive order to abolish programs and initiatives that focus on diversity, equity and inclusion across the Defense Department and the Coast Guard.”

Culture Club canceled? Poor Boy George.

ITEM 10: The Guardian reported, “Taliban minister ‘forced to flee Afghanistan’ after speech in support of girls’ education.”

In America, that would never happen. Saying men shouldn’t be allowed to play in girls’ sports is a different matter.

ITEM 11: PJ Media reported, “Letitia James Orders NY Hospitals to Continue Trans Surgeries on Minors.”

In the words of a famous imbecile from Hawaii, I will Trump you on that.

ITEM 12: The Wall Street Journal reported, “U.S. Begins Migrant Flights to Guantanamo Bay.”

I like the airline’s catchphrase: “You always get mo’ when you fly Gitmo.”

ITEM 13: The Telegraph reported, “Denmark could let Trump increase US military presence in Greenland.”

The Art of the Steal, or how to own an island without paying for it.

ITEM 14: NBC tweeted, “NFL will remove End Racism from the end zones ahead of Super Bowl. The announcement comes the same day a White House official told NBC that President Trump would be attending the game.”

This can mean only one thing: the orange man has ended racism.

ITEM 15: The Free Press reported, “Daniel Penny Gets Hired by Andreessen Horowitz.”

Andreessen Horowitz is a venture capitalist firm. Hope he goes from being a Penny to being a billionaire for saving a subway car of passengers from a raving lunatic.

ITEM 16: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “CIA offers buyout to its entire workforce, employees can step down and receive 8 months of pay and benefits.”

But if they all leave, if another 9/11 happens who will be there to miss the warning signs completely?

ITEM 17: Marco Rubio tweeted, “I will NOT attend the G20 summit in Johannesburg.

“South Africa is doing very bad things. Expropriating private property. Using G20 to promote ‘solidarity, equality, & sustainability.’ In other words: DEI and climate change.

“My job is to advance America’s national interests, not waste taxpayer money or coddle anti-Americanism.”

Does Steven Van Zandt plan to get his buddy Bruce Springsteen and others to re-record the anti-apartheid song Sun City or are they cool with the song Dubul' ibhunu (Kill All the Boers)?

ITEM 18: HuffPost reported, “Democrats To Take Over Senate Floor All Night To Oppose White House Budget Office Nominee.”

ITEM 19: With about 50 women and girls looking on, Trump signed an order banning men from girls’ sports. The signing was at the Resolute Desk.

It’s nice to have a president you can trust around little girls again.

ITEM 20: Martina Navratilova tweeted, “I hate that the Democrats totally failed women and girls on this very clear issue of women’s sports being for females only.”

This came right after she called Trump “sickening and infuriating” for meeting with Bibi who leveled Gaza after Palestinian soldiers raped and killed hundreds of women on October 7, 2023.

She would have been upset if the Palestinian men entered the Israeli women’s tennis tournament.

ITEM 21: NBC tweeted, “Heavily armed federal agents raided apartment buildings across metro Denver early Wednesday in a search for Venezuelan gang members and other migrants under the Trump administration's mass deportation effort targeting major cities.”

How dare they raid the illegals who sell drugs and extort money. It’s not like they were arresting a 72-year-old man for ignoring a congressional subpoena.

ITEM 22: Legal Insurrection reported, “Rep. Al Green Intends to Bring Articles of Impeachment Against Trump.”

Guess he no longer wants us to stay together.

ITEM 23: John Podhoretz tweeted, “On NBC News, federal workers tell Hallie Jackson they’re living an Orwellian nightmare that involves not having lifetime job security. Welcome to life.”

Some of them may finally have to work.

ITEM 24: Christopher Mathias tweeted, “After over a decade at HuffPost, I’ve decided to take a buyout in the latest round of layoffs. It’s tough to leave a place I love & I’m so grateful for all the people here, & all the faith they’ve put in me through the years.”

Wait. Isn’t this the same media that tells us buyouts are cruel and harmful to the economy?

ITEM 25: ABC tweeted, “Black Sabbath is reuniting for the first time in 20 years for what is being billed as their final show in their hometown of Birmingham, England.”

Ozzy finally sobered up enough to meet the hellion band’s standards. I just hope he is still Paranoid.

ITEM 26: The New York Post said, “Michigan state representative reveals she voluntarily sterilized herself to avoid pregnancy under Trump.”

The easiest way to avoid pregnancy is not to go under Trump. Have they stopped teaching biology altogether in public schools?

ITEM 27: NBC reported, “Casey DeSantis considers running for Florida governor amid push from top donors.”

We will know she’s serious when she changes her name to Lurleen.

ITEM 28: The Daily Wire posted a video “Karoline Leavitt Whips Out Paper, Lists Off All Of Trump’s Tax Cut Priorities.”

When a tax gets too strong, you must whip it. Now crack that whip!

ITEM 29: Zero Hedge reported, “A Third Of All US States Now Exploring Bitcoin, Crypto For Public Funds

From Massachusetts to Wyoming, the dollar soon may no longer be the reserve currency in 17 states.

ITEM 30: National Catholic Reporter said, “Catholic Relief Services is bracing for massive cuts—as much as 50% this year—because of draconian reductions in U.S. foreign assistance ordered by the Trump administration, according to an internal email from the chief executive of the international relief organization.”

They called it foreign aid but so far, not one country has laid anyone off. Plenty of lefty charities and media outlets have.

ITEM 31: Phys Org reported, “Women speak 3,000 more words daily than men during midlife, study shows.”

Oddly enough, men that age only hear half as much as women do.

ITEM 32: NBC tweeted, “Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee raised concerns Tuesday that law enforcement agents from agencies like the FBI, the DEA and the ATF are being diverted from their regular duties to help President Trump’s immigration crackdown.”

Their regular duties being to track down and imprison Trump supporters.

ITEM 33: Wired bleated, “An internal email reviewed by Wired calls DOGE staff's access to federal payments systems ‘the single biggest insider threat risk the Bureau of the Fiscal Service has ever faced.’ ”

The insider threat was the email itself.

ITEM 34: Resist the Mainstream reported, “Residents of the affluent East Hampton community are grappling with fears that their household staff could be swept up in President Donald Trump’s expanded deportation initiatives, leading to an emergency town meeting that highlighted the growing tension between federal immigration policies and local governance.”

Rich Democrats had the same fear in 1861.

ITEM 35: The NFL held its awards night on Thursday. Josh Allen won the Most Valuable Player. Joe Burrow won the Comeback Player of the Year Award. And Bill Belichick won the Girlfriend of the Year Award.

Here he is with his trophy.

He is not old enough to be her father. Her father is much younger than him.

ITEM 36: Dan Scavino tweeted, “President Trump has revoked Joe Biden’s Security Clearances.”

No more garage sales to Red China.

ITEM 37: AP said, “Trump says he’s firing Kennedy Center board of trustees members and naming himself chairman.”

No more drag queens. Real women only, just like President Kennedy intended. He got the actual Marilyn, not some guy in a blond wig impersonating her.

FINALLY, multi-millionaire and angel investor Jason Calacanis gave the inside scoop on why DOGE went after USAID:

“How USAID got to the top of the DOGE list is that Trump decided to pause Foreign Aid for 90 days—reasonable enough. A couple days later the White House said this USAID leadership was trying to circumvent this Executive Order. That alerted the DOGE team and Elon confirmed this on X. He said all DOGE did was check to see which Federal Agency was violating Trump's orders the most and that turned out to be USAID, so that became our focus.”

Why do I get this feeling that this was Trump’s plan all along to discover who the dirtiest were?