We’re just a few months apart in age and I remember my mother wearing short white cotton gloves to go to the grocery store. At school, us girls had to wear skirts and the boys had to wear shirts which had collars. So bring back dress codes for the student too.
As to the rest of the article, I fear that we’re already well into generation three and nearing the end of it. It’s going to take something cataclysmic to turn us back to sanity. I pray for my grandchildren and their married monogamous church going parents.
my first job was at a grocery store in flint,mi. 90c an hour. i was 16. we all had to wear a white shirt and black bow tie. i forgot my tie one friday and the manager told me i had to wear a bow tie or punch out and go home. the clerks wore a long black tie. he loaned me a dollar and i went to the store next door, bought a bow tie, went back to my store and the manager calls me over and asked why i had on a brown bow tie. i told him they were out of black bow ties that only cost a dollar. he gave me 2 more bucks so i went back, got a refund and bought a 3 dollar black bow tie. on my next check i had to pay the the manager 3 dollars that i owed him. my check was for around 6 dollars so i couldn't go on a date that weekend.
LOVED this column and I would also love a link to the article that another reader sent to you with the original sociological study done by the priest.
When my hubby and I were visiting a few areas around the country several years ago, trying to decide where to relocate to OUT of the swamp (aka DMV area), at one point I exclaimed to him "Ah! I know where I want to relocate to!" and he very excitedly asked, "Where?!" and I answered "The 1950s".
I have a favorite tie. My wife bought it for me at a thrift store for $1. It is an art museum gift store tie of Monet’s Water Lillies. I have received more compliments on that tie than all the other ties I have ever worn. It has become my funeral tie, because I think there is a spot in heaven that looks and feels like what Monet painted.
In the late 70s through the 80s after dropping out of college I worked for a small defense contractor, starting in the stockroom. Within five years I was a manager. As a manager I felt I needed to wear a tie, both as a statement of self-respect, and wanting respect. I knew I'd probably get a ration of crap from teasing co-workers but nervously went ahead. The first morning of my promotion the one guy I expected the most grief from walked by my open office door and did a double take. I thought, here we go. He paused for a moment and said, "dude, you look good." He and several other men in my department began to occasionally wear ties, and some every day. It created a more professional atmosphere and projected seriousness and confidence, and confirms your point about dress and the culture at large.
I'm the same age as you, Don. I always say that the problem is that there are now no standards. If you look at pictures of airline flights from the 'fifties, every man has on a tie, and every woman a dress. Now a plurality of the girls are wearing pajamas. One thing I learned as a child up in the Head of the Holler was that men do not wear hats indoors, and in restaurants full of men in hats, mine is always on the table from the moment I sit down. Things matter.
Fascinating article!! But what a hard sell in these times, as we’ve fallen so far from the grace such civility once bestowed.
I’d only add one other big item to the list of things that destroy a culture and that is the abandonment of faith in God, the ultimate check on human behavior. When that happens, all the rest fall like a strip of dominoes.
This is the best post of yours I have read, Mr. Surber. Thanks so much for including the link to the History Facts website. I will be 74 this June and I often wondered why I have been so programmed to do certain things. My wife’s two sisters often marvel at how I always open a door (car doors as well) for her. One even remarked that my wife would wait inside the car for me to come around and help her out. She said if I ever forgot, her sister would sit inside the car forever, or at least until I actually did come back and open the door. My father taught me that…not by words but by his actions. Same thing with toilet seats. I have never left the seat up since 1957. That was when my mother shrieked in the middle of the night and the next day reminded me that gentlemen always lower the seat. To this day, I cannot leave a bathroom without making sure I have kept my promise.
I could go on and on but this article is such a good example of why I love waking up to your columns. Reading them each day is the second thing I do after waking up. No, actually third because I have to make a cup of coffee to enjoy while reading them. Anyone our age can guess what the first thing is (and that includes putting the seat back down).
You absolutely brightened my day. Thank you so much!
How I hated to come to the end of this article! For a brief moment in time Mom and Dad were still around to help me over the hard parts! Brother was at college, sister was preparing to marry her USN Ensign and I was old enough to drive, but still rode my bike to school, wearing a dress. Thomas Wolfe was right. You can't go home again (you wouldn't recognize it).
When a society discourages family formation it encourages the destruction of civilization. Think of all the good things one learns in a healthy or even just ok family and you see what holds a society together and leads to civilized behaviour toward others. Just look at the effects on children now growing up without the security of unconditional love of two parents. Such children do not love or form responsible attachments and do not grow up.
Just give copies of this essay to everyone you encounter today.
As for ties, I’ve been known to wear an Ascot on more than one occasion & - with a trip across the Atlantic coming up this June on the Queen Mary 2 - I’m sure more opportunities will abound. The ship apparently has a dress code strictly enforced. Seems the Cunard Line has a retro streak & God Bless them for it!!!
If you are a fan of TCM & older films, in them every man - even the bad guys - are in suits & ties. Every woman wears a dress. A unintentional funny moment occurs in the James Bond premiere film “Dr. No” (1962) when Bond & his CIA counterpart Felix Leiter are in the process of investigating one another & they wind up chasing each other around on a Jamaican beach - wearing suits & ties!!! Hey - it was 1962 & the “Ultra-Lounge” craze was at its height. This trend lasted thru the 1960’s, Michael Caine’s character in “The Italian Job” (1969) is always impeccably dressed.
It’s not however just fashion & style that have been destroyed by the sexual revolution (& social media) but also social mores, dating, & character. How many men know that when walking down a street with a woman the man should always be in the outside, I.e. between the woman & the street? This was done so that if a carriage came down the (unpaved as a rule) street the woman would not be splashed with muddy water? The intent was that the guy take the hit for the woman. When the Titanic was in the process of heading to Davy Jones’ Locker it was “women & children first” into the lifeboats; that’s the way it had always been. The Principles of Chivalry played a large part in this; men were expected to display Chivalry @ all times: respect & deference to women & the elderly, care for children, the weak & the sick. Even opponents/enemies were afforded certain rules of war in that one never attacked an unhorsed opponent not stabbed/shot a man in the back. That was considered cowardly. And rape was unheard of among those who practiced & lived their lives under The Code of Chivalry. These principles were the living code of the Chivalric Orders back in the Middle Ages. It’s been largely lost to history but Knights were in fact soldier monks, they served The Order for a period of time (such as guarding Jerusalem from Muslim attack) before retiring & only then could they take a wife in marriage. While on active duty they were unmarried & celibate. The fear of God & Final Judgement kept a lot of people in line back then. Sadly, that’s pretty much been erased by “progressivism”, “feminism”, “woke-ism” & transgender-ism now we have generations (Millenials & Z?) who are so clueless (in large part) & so lost morally & spiritually that a complete collapse of civilization seems the end result.
If indeed we wind up in some sort of “Mad Max” endgame situation men of these generations will suffer horribly.
Wow Don, this is one of the Best Columns you’ve written (imho).
The Best Thing a Father can do for his Children is Love (and show Respect for) their Mother.
One word for today's column: decorum.
A thousand “Amens” Don!
We’re just a few months apart in age and I remember my mother wearing short white cotton gloves to go to the grocery store. At school, us girls had to wear skirts and the boys had to wear shirts which had collars. So bring back dress codes for the student too.
As to the rest of the article, I fear that we’re already well into generation three and nearing the end of it. It’s going to take something cataclysmic to turn us back to sanity. I pray for my grandchildren and their married monogamous church going parents.
First men stopped wearing hats, then society began to lose its head. (A baseball cap is not a hat)
my first job was at a grocery store in flint,mi. 90c an hour. i was 16. we all had to wear a white shirt and black bow tie. i forgot my tie one friday and the manager told me i had to wear a bow tie or punch out and go home. the clerks wore a long black tie. he loaned me a dollar and i went to the store next door, bought a bow tie, went back to my store and the manager calls me over and asked why i had on a brown bow tie. i told him they were out of black bow ties that only cost a dollar. he gave me 2 more bucks so i went back, got a refund and bought a 3 dollar black bow tie. on my next check i had to pay the the manager 3 dollars that i owed him. my check was for around 6 dollars so i couldn't go on a date that weekend.
that was in 1964.
LOVED this column and I would also love a link to the article that another reader sent to you with the original sociological study done by the priest.
When my hubby and I were visiting a few areas around the country several years ago, trying to decide where to relocate to OUT of the swamp (aka DMV area), at one point I exclaimed to him "Ah! I know where I want to relocate to!" and he very excitedly asked, "Where?!" and I answered "The 1950s".
Today's article explains why.
I have a favorite tie. My wife bought it for me at a thrift store for $1. It is an art museum gift store tie of Monet’s Water Lillies. I have received more compliments on that tie than all the other ties I have ever worn. It has become my funeral tie, because I think there is a spot in heaven that looks and feels like what Monet painted.
Wearing a tie was a ritual that told the world that the wearer was a member in good standing of the overall society.
In the late 70s through the 80s after dropping out of college I worked for a small defense contractor, starting in the stockroom. Within five years I was a manager. As a manager I felt I needed to wear a tie, both as a statement of self-respect, and wanting respect. I knew I'd probably get a ration of crap from teasing co-workers but nervously went ahead. The first morning of my promotion the one guy I expected the most grief from walked by my open office door and did a double take. I thought, here we go. He paused for a moment and said, "dude, you look good." He and several other men in my department began to occasionally wear ties, and some every day. It created a more professional atmosphere and projected seriousness and confidence, and confirms your point about dress and the culture at large.
Anyone born in the 1950's lived through a time that migrated from a strict dress code in life to, by retirement, almost anything goes at work.
When dress codes changed for the worse, so did professionalism and manners.
I'm the same age as you, Don. I always say that the problem is that there are now no standards. If you look at pictures of airline flights from the 'fifties, every man has on a tie, and every woman a dress. Now a plurality of the girls are wearing pajamas. One thing I learned as a child up in the Head of the Holler was that men do not wear hats indoors, and in restaurants full of men in hats, mine is always on the table from the moment I sit down. Things matter.
Fascinating article!! But what a hard sell in these times, as we’ve fallen so far from the grace such civility once bestowed.
I’d only add one other big item to the list of things that destroy a culture and that is the abandonment of faith in God, the ultimate check on human behavior. When that happens, all the rest fall like a strip of dominoes.
This is the best post of yours I have read, Mr. Surber. Thanks so much for including the link to the History Facts website. I will be 74 this June and I often wondered why I have been so programmed to do certain things. My wife’s two sisters often marvel at how I always open a door (car doors as well) for her. One even remarked that my wife would wait inside the car for me to come around and help her out. She said if I ever forgot, her sister would sit inside the car forever, or at least until I actually did come back and open the door. My father taught me that…not by words but by his actions. Same thing with toilet seats. I have never left the seat up since 1957. That was when my mother shrieked in the middle of the night and the next day reminded me that gentlemen always lower the seat. To this day, I cannot leave a bathroom without making sure I have kept my promise.
I could go on and on but this article is such a good example of why I love waking up to your columns. Reading them each day is the second thing I do after waking up. No, actually third because I have to make a cup of coffee to enjoy while reading them. Anyone our age can guess what the first thing is (and that includes putting the seat back down).
You absolutely brightened my day. Thank you so much!
How I hated to come to the end of this article! For a brief moment in time Mom and Dad were still around to help me over the hard parts! Brother was at college, sister was preparing to marry her USN Ensign and I was old enough to drive, but still rode my bike to school, wearing a dress. Thomas Wolfe was right. You can't go home again (you wouldn't recognize it).
When a society discourages family formation it encourages the destruction of civilization. Think of all the good things one learns in a healthy or even just ok family and you see what holds a society together and leads to civilized behaviour toward others. Just look at the effects on children now growing up without the security of unconditional love of two parents. Such children do not love or form responsible attachments and do not grow up.
Just give copies of this essay to everyone you encounter today.
As for ties, I’ve been known to wear an Ascot on more than one occasion & - with a trip across the Atlantic coming up this June on the Queen Mary 2 - I’m sure more opportunities will abound. The ship apparently has a dress code strictly enforced. Seems the Cunard Line has a retro streak & God Bless them for it!!!
If you are a fan of TCM & older films, in them every man - even the bad guys - are in suits & ties. Every woman wears a dress. A unintentional funny moment occurs in the James Bond premiere film “Dr. No” (1962) when Bond & his CIA counterpart Felix Leiter are in the process of investigating one another & they wind up chasing each other around on a Jamaican beach - wearing suits & ties!!! Hey - it was 1962 & the “Ultra-Lounge” craze was at its height. This trend lasted thru the 1960’s, Michael Caine’s character in “The Italian Job” (1969) is always impeccably dressed.
It’s not however just fashion & style that have been destroyed by the sexual revolution (& social media) but also social mores, dating, & character. How many men know that when walking down a street with a woman the man should always be in the outside, I.e. between the woman & the street? This was done so that if a carriage came down the (unpaved as a rule) street the woman would not be splashed with muddy water? The intent was that the guy take the hit for the woman. When the Titanic was in the process of heading to Davy Jones’ Locker it was “women & children first” into the lifeboats; that’s the way it had always been. The Principles of Chivalry played a large part in this; men were expected to display Chivalry @ all times: respect & deference to women & the elderly, care for children, the weak & the sick. Even opponents/enemies were afforded certain rules of war in that one never attacked an unhorsed opponent not stabbed/shot a man in the back. That was considered cowardly. And rape was unheard of among those who practiced & lived their lives under The Code of Chivalry. These principles were the living code of the Chivalric Orders back in the Middle Ages. It’s been largely lost to history but Knights were in fact soldier monks, they served The Order for a period of time (such as guarding Jerusalem from Muslim attack) before retiring & only then could they take a wife in marriage. While on active duty they were unmarried & celibate. The fear of God & Final Judgement kept a lot of people in line back then. Sadly, that’s pretty much been erased by “progressivism”, “feminism”, “woke-ism” & transgender-ism now we have generations (Millenials & Z?) who are so clueless (in large part) & so lost morally & spiritually that a complete collapse of civilization seems the end result.
If indeed we wind up in some sort of “Mad Max” endgame situation men of these generations will suffer horribly.