Highlights of the week

Looks like Democrats picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

ITEM 1: Aviva Klompas tweeted, “Palestinian reports say at least five people were killed near Gaza City after being hit by aid packages airdropped into Gaza by countries including the United States.”

Bibi is, dang, why didn’t I think of that?

ITEM 2: Donald Trump hired his daughter-in-law, Lara, and the chairman of North Carolina’s Republican Party, Michael Whatley, to replace Ronna the Prima Donna at the RNC. One person alone cannot blow through money like she did.

Whatley said, “We have also hired election integrity directors in battleground states. . . and we will do more. If our voters don't have confidence that our elections are safe and secure, nothing else matters. . . We’ll work relentlessly to ensure it’s hard to cheat.”

Forget all that. Learn to cheat. Carry California.

ITEM 3: FJB gave a State of the Union speech, a platform his handlers used to answer questions about his fitness for office.

Looks like Democrats picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Republicans responded by having a Karen deliver their response instead of Trump because they want to lose.

ITEM 4: The New York Post reported, “Long COVID could be the reason for your bad hangovers: research.”

I would have guessed it was the booze but this means I had long covid 50 years before covid was coo-ool.

ITEM 5: Reuters reported, “Sexually transmitted infections surge in Europe, latest data shows.”

You can’t spell invaders without VD.

ITEM 6: Steve Watson reported, “In a rare collectors moment, CNN took time Tuesday to give Donald Trump credit regarding illegal immigration, admitting that the US does ‘have a problem,’ at the border and that Biden has ‘made the problem worse.’”

It is not that Biden can’t do the job; it’s that he does not want to.

ITEM 7: The Supreme Court unanimously agreed that Donald Trump is indeed eligible to run for president.

Those darned super extreme MAGAts like Kagan, Sotomayor and KBJ did it again.

ITEM 8: Reduxx (first in feminine reporting) reported, “A trans-identified male and ‘recidivist pedophile’ residing in Quebec has been arrested and charged with possession of child pornography for the second time. Krystel Lauzon, 39 of Val-David, was detained on January 11 after officers from the provincial police force’s Internet Sexual Exploitation of Children Investigation Team conducted a search of his residence and his computer was seized for forensic analysis.”

The ADL calls use of the word grooming hate speech and a lie.

I call it accurate.

ITEM 9: The New York Post reported, “Bartender tips cops after finding child porn on phone Fla. woman left at pub.”

The cops should return the favor and give the barkeep a big tip.

ITEM 10: The Miami Herald reported, “U.S. fears Haiti could fall ‘at any time’ as doubts grow over Biden’s backup Kenya plan.”

Kenya plan? He’s going to send in Barack?

ITEM 11: BBC reported, “Haiti gangs torch police stations as PM’s future hangs in balance.”

Just call it Portlandia South.

ITEM 12: Caden Person reported, “Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, the armorer in the Alec Baldwin movie Rust, has been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in connection with the accidental shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins.”

She wasn’t just an armorer.

The story said, “Ms. Gutierrez-Reed was charged with evidence tampering in 2023, after investigators accused her of passing off a bag of cocaine on the day of the shooting.”

She should have worried more about the gunpowder than the Bolivian Marching Powder.

ITEM 13: Resist the Mainstream reported, “Sheldon Johnson, a 48-year-old employee of the public law firm Queens Defenders, is facing murder charges after police discovered a dismembered body in a Bronx apartment.”

Looks like the public defender’s employee needs a public defender.

ITEM 14: The Daily Wire reported, “Tim Allen Coming Back To ABC With New Comedy Pilot.”

It’s totally different this time. He won’t be Tim the Toolman or work at a sporting goods store. This time he restores classic cars. Ah, what I would pay for a Yugo in mint condition.

ITEM 15: During Biden’s State of the Union ranting, Townhall tweeted, “Joe Biden gets heckled by Gold Star Father Steve Nikoui.

“His son, Lance Col. Kareem Nikoui, was killed by a terrorist suicide bomber during Joe Biden’s disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan.”

They arrested him.

I remember when Gold Star parents had “Absolute Moral Authority.” Maybe that only applies to the moms.

ITEM 16: Zero Hedge reported, “Male Soldiers In Spain Changing Genders To Receive Better Benefits And Higher Pay.”

Corporal Klinger was so ahead of his time.

ITEM 17: The Hill reported, “Former President Trump posted a roughly $91 million bond Friday as he appeals the recent verdict in advice columnist E. Jean Carroll’s defamation lawsuit.”

Under NYC’s rules, he would post no bond and walk free if he had been arrested and actually raped her. He did not and the courts are making him pay for proclaiming his innocence.

ITEM 18: BizPac Review reported, “Fresh off threatening to punch black Trump supporters in the face, Charles Barkley doubled down, calling any black person who wears Trump mugshot merchandise ‘a freakin’ idiot.’”

Then came the backlash.

Ground News reported, “Charles Barkley tears into Biden, Dems: ‘They only care about black people every four years.’”

He didn’t want Mike Tyson showing up at his door.

ITEM 19: Twitchy Team tweeted, “Irony Alert: RuPaul's Online Bookstore Against Banning Books . . . Bans Books From Conservatives.”

If they really want to fight books banned in schools they should start with the Bible.

ITEM 20: CNBC reported, “Layoffs rise to the highest for any February since 2009.”

First inflation, then unemployment. Welcome back, Carter.

ITEM 21: The New York Post reported, “Grey Goose honcho’s lavish Greenwich estate — with 35-car garage — back on market for $28.5 million as owner plans Fla. move.”

The Grey Goose is heading south for the winter — spring, summer and fall.

ITEM 22: CWBChicago tweeted, “Chicago police thought they interrupted a sexual assault in progress when they saw a man attacking a woman on the South Side this week.

“But the man allegedly offered a different explanation: ‘I wasn't trying to rape her, I was trying to kill her.’”

Chicago is a great city.

To avoid.