Highlights of the week

Laurel and Hardy dance to Santana.

ITEM 1: ABC reported, “A homeless man named Jordan Neely was killed by another New York City subway passenger who held him in a chokehold for several minutes, according to police and a video taken of the incident.

“Neely had been allegedly yelling and ranting on the train before being subdued by another subway passenger, according to independent journalist Juan Alberto Vázquez, who reported on the incident via the Facebook page ‘Luces de Nueva York.’

“‘I don't have food. I don't have a drink. I am fed up,’ Neely said, according to Vázquez. ‘I don't care if I go to jail, and if they give me life in prison . . . I am ready to die.’

“According to the NYPD, a 24-year-old man subdued Neely, who was allegedly harassing passengers and making threats. Police sources told ABC News that the man was not specifically being threatened by Neely when he intervened.”

Governor Karen and the city’s Cop Mayor called for justice, which is code for hang whoever they arrest.

Where were the police?

Why do Democrats allow this to happen?

We know why. To cover their tracks. Democrats turned subways into hell and now give good citizens the choice between being the victim of a lunatic who kills them or a lunatic justice system that punishes anyone who stands up to the psychos.

Adam B. Coleman wrote, “No One Cared About Jordan Neely's Life. They Just Want to Use His Death.”

Exactly. And they are.

ITEM 2: The Daily Beast said, “Kremlin Says Putin Survived Overnight Assassination Attempt.”

Zelensky sent U.S. drones. He’s your commander-in-chief now.

ITEM 3: The Telegraph reported, “The European Union on Tuesday allowed five member states to ban imports of Ukrainian grains as domestic concerns outmuscled the bloc’s support for its war-torn neighbor.

“The emergency blockade, the first major challenge to Brussels' unwavering support for Ukraine, could cost Kyiv’s agricultural industry up to $200 million, according to analysis by its national bank.

“Bowing to pressure from the likes of Poland and Hungary, the European Commission announced the countries could block imports of wheat, maize, rapeseed and sunflower seed from Ukraine.”

Unwavering support ends where the farm votes begin.

ITEM 4: Twitter fact-checked PolitiFact.

PolitiFact claimed, “Teachers union President Randi Weingarten advocated for reopening schools with pandemic safety measures. She criticized the Trump administration’s 2020 calls to reopen schools fully, but it’s misleading to claim that she opposed reopening at all.”

Twitter reported, “Randi Weingarten said she wanted schools open but consistently tweeted her support for the closure of schools well into fall of 2020.

It cited her tweets here, here, here and here.

Twitter then said, “Weingarten called the Secretary of Education's call for school's to reopen in the fall of 2020 ‘reckless . . . callous . . . cruel.’”

The Internet is forever.

ITEM 5: The Daily Wire reported, “Liberal Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor declined to recuse herself from multiple copyright infringement cases involving book publisher Penguin Random House despite having been paid millions by the firm for her books, making it by far her largest source of income, records show.

“In 2010, she got a $1.2 million book advance from Knopf Doubleday Group, a part of the conglomerate. In 2012, she reported receiving two advance payments from the publisher totaling $1.9 million.”

Book deals are money laundering in DC.

My question is why President Trump’s publisher did not re-issue The Art of the Deal — an actual best-seller unlike most DC books.

ITEM 6: CNN reported, “New York becomes the first state to ban natural gas stoves and furnaces in most new buildings.”

The ban excludes tall buildings because the bad natural gas cannot make it past the seventh floor, only the good gas does — just like covid did not spread during riots and BLM protests.

A twitterer poked fun at this nonsense.

It’s science. It’s peer-reviewed. It’s settled. That’s a walnut. We have too many of them in high office now.

ITEM 7: Conservative Brief reported, “President Joe Biden’s administration sided with former President Donald Trump’s administration on a steel tariffs case and the U.S. Supreme Court has agreed.

“The Court declined to hear an appeal brought by USP Holdings, which was rejected by lower courts, in which it claimed the Trump administration acted improperly when it enacted the tariffs. The Biden administration has left the tariffs intact for the most part and argued against USP Holdings and other steel importers who said they were damaged by the tariffs.”

The steel importers need to get in another line of business.

ITEM 8: Cowboy State Daily reported, “Congresswoman Hageman Named Co-Chair Of Coal Caucus As Her Profile On Capitol Hill Expands.”

She represents Wyoming, which produces 41% of the nation’s coal — easily the most in the USA.

ITEM 9: CNN announced, “Trump to appear at CNN town hall in New Hampshire.”

Fox who?

Megyn Kelly called the ratings collapse Foxweiser. Viewers are Tuckered Out.

ITEM 10: The Guardian reported, “Jamie Dimon, the boss of JP Morgan, has played down the risk of a spiraling banking crisis after America’s biggest bank stepped in to buy most of collapsed lender First Republic in a $10.6 billion takeover hurriedly brokered by US regulators.

“After weekend talks to secure a sale of First Republic, the third US lender to fail this year, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation confirmed JP Morgan as the buyer.”

Why should he care what the economy does? He’s making money because he runs the alligator that the FDIC keeps feeding smaller gators to.

ITEM 11: Gateway Pundit announced, “Democrat Lawmaker Lois Frankel Sold First Republic Stock Before It Crashed by 80% — Bought JPMorgan Stock, Which Just Bought First Republic.”

Now you know why DC treats these alligators like pets.

ITEM 12: Deadline Hollywood reported, “Nightly talk shows including The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Live! and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, are set to go dark starting on Tuesday after writers agreed to strike.”

They have writers? I thought the DNC provided all their material.

ITEM 13: PJ Media reported, “Biden Caves to McCarthy, Agrees to Meet the Speaker About Raising the Debt Limit.”

Lemme fix that headline: Biden Finally Does His Job.

A friendly reminder to McCarthy, when meeting this president, don’t bring anyone under 10 with you.

ITEM 14: Military.com reported, “Army Expects to Miss Its Recruiting Goal Again This Year.”

When your commander-in-chief has pudding for a brain, not many men and women are going to sign up to follow him.

ITEM 15: The New York Post reported, “U.S. Navy hires active-duty drag queen to be face of recruitment drive.”

It takes a Village People to raise a Navy.

ITEM 16: Gannett’s Florida Today whined, “Black drivers in Florida are nearly three times more likely to be ticketed by police and sheriff’s deputies under a law that allowed law enforcement to cite drivers for loud music starting last year, according to a new analysis of traffic data and court records.”

So turn the music down. Problem solved.

Meanwhile, the black traffic fatality rate is nearly double other races. That might be a bigger story.

ITEM 17: The Western Journal reported, “Learning from Bud Light? Coca-Cola Shareholders Shoot Down 3 Attempts to Turn the Company Fully Woke.”

Coke did not need Dylan Mulvaney to learn this lesson.

On February 23, 2021, the New York Post reported, “Coca-Cola slammed for diversity training that urged workers to be ‘less white.’”

ITEM 18: The Wall Street Journal reported, “Bud Light Maker Offers Distributors Free Beer, More Ad Spending After Dylan Mulvaney Backlash.”

Free beer? Are they going to give the distributors cases of Heineken?

ITEM 19: The LA Times reported, “Concertgoer lets out a ‘loud full body orgasm’ while L.A. Phil plays Tchaikovsky’s 5th.”

Wait till she hears his 6th.

ITEM 20: Breitbart reported, “At Rainbow Oaks Restaurant — just an hour outside of San Diego — a TikTok user shared that she had faced the most ‘dangerous’ situation she had ever been in. At noon, while she was eating her stack of pancakes, about a dozen people stood up for the Star-Spangled Banner being played on the bar’s TVs.”

Do you know who else hated the Star-Spangled Banner? Hitler.

ITEM 21: The Hollywood Reporter reported, “Box Office Milestone: Super Mario Bros. Movie Hits $1 Billion Globally.”

Wow, that’s so many coins, Mario’s head must hurt.

ITEM 22: Gateway Pundit reported, “FDA Approves First Oral Pill Made from Human Poop.”

I have the perfect slogan: Eat Shit and Don’t Die.

ITEM 23: Zero Hedge reported, “Chelsea Clinton Comes Out In Favor Of Porn For School Kids.”

How else will she get kids to read her father’s autobiography?

ITEM 24: The president’s black lesbian spokeswoman said, “When it comes to illegal migration, you have seen it come down by more than 90%, and that’s because of the actions that this president has taken.”

No, it’s because other countries are running out of criminals and spies to send.

ITEM 25: Breitbart reported, “Performing trans surgery on children, as well as prescribing a child with puberty blockers, is now a felony offense in the state of Oklahoma.

“Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt has signed into law measures forbidding the use of medical transgender interventions on children, with it now being a felony offence in the state to perform trans surgery on a child or prescribe them puberty blockers.

“The move has prompted outrage from U.S. progressives, with a number of non-profit organizations vowing to take the state to court over the law change.”

With any luck, this will trigger a boycott of the state by pedos and their weirdo friends.

ITEM 26: CNN sighed, “North Carolina’s Republican-controlled state Senate on Thursday passed legislation that would ban most abortions after 12 weeks.

“Democrat Gov. Roy Cooper has vowed to veto the bill, but the GOP supermajority in the legislature can override him.”

North Carolinians elected a good legislature.

ITEM 27: Robert F. Kennedy Jr. tweeted, “The most crucial aspect of the immigration crisis is rarely discussed: Why are so many people so desperate in the first place to leave their homes and countries behind for an uncertain future? The answer is uncomfortable. In large part, it is U.S. policies that create desperate conditions south of the border. The War on Drugs is one. U.S.-funded dictators, juntas, paramilitaries, and death squads. Neoliberal extraction of resources. Unpayable debts. It is inhumane and hypocritical to deny immigration while creating the conditions that drive immigration. As President, I will change these policies. That’s the only long-term solution to the border crisis.”

He is open borders, just like his Uncle Ted.

Now you know why Never Trumpers back RFK v2.0.

ITEM 28: Hot Air reported, “Democrats are threatening to remove security funding for Supreme Court.”

Even Don Corleone was more subtle.

ITEM 29: Mediaite reported, “Fox News Host Geraldo Says His Appearances on The Five This Week ‘Have Been Canceled.’”

The Five is the only show on the channel whose audience grew last week.

ITEM 30: U.S. News said West Virginia is the fattest state in the nation.

Waddle we do about it?

ITEM 31: Charlie Kirk tweeted, “The Kremlin attacked by armed drones risking escalation with a nuclear power.

“A massive banking collapse where 50% of American banks may be insolvent.

“Protesters trying to ruin a man's life because he dared to step in and protect the public from a madman with 44 priors in New York.

“The U.S. Military missing its recruiting goals again and again and doubling down on woke and stupid by enlisting drag queens.

“Joe Biden caught up in a pay-for-play scheme involving bribes from a foreign national in exchange for policy decisions.

“IRS Whistleblower coming forward to incriminate Merrick Garland for blocking an investigation into Hunter Biden.

“Antony Blinken committing brazen election interference by colluding with 51 former intel officials to lie about Hunter Biden's laptop just weeks before the 2020 election.

“And the left wants to talk about a friend of Clarence Thomas, who had no business in front of the court, helping put a kid in need through school.

“It’s a game of distraction. Stay focused.”

FINALLY, men pretending to be women keep winning women’s sports.

Perhaps the time has come to recognize that women’s sports are not all that good. Women’s sports are not equal to men’s sports. Brittney Griner vs. LeBron James would be Bambi Meets Godzilla all over again. And he is a 38-year-old who has not been the best in the NBA for years now.

Remember this headline from 2017: “FC Dallas under-15 boys squad beat the U.S. Women's National Team in a scrimmage.”

The best women’s soccer team in the world could not beat a bunch of middle school boys. Of course, the boys were taller and bigger than the women.

Men and women have equal rights but they are not the same. Vive la différence.