58 Comments
Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

Hammer, meet nail. I love the breadth of your commentary, Brother Surber. May God bless you and yours and keep us all in the fight for truth.

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Beautiful recap, Don. But let me say that Brian Killing-me-softly has cancelled his order of Valentine roses for you next year.

Tucker is right up the road from me having an awesome time sifting through the offers like sand on his beach. Let them sue him for breach of contract when he takes to the airwaves again; the Florida judges have his back. And so do his friends Elon, Donald, Kid Rock, et al.

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BK is your typical media cockroach who is always sniffing around looking for cracks in the plaster so he can enter the house and raid the kitchen fridge. People with talent who get fired is his first and foremost opportunity to make money after the incompetent CEO (Bleached Blond Blattodea, see) fires the talented.

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Don, there is a God after all. I have been recommended by Mr Surber. Allah be praised. Big Don, another lawsuit coming; you get your Bentley, I get $15,000 a month for Sharon and me to stay in our Camelot foreverafter. Hospice(6 mos or less for both). Attorney gets whatever he thinks he's worth. I have 10 hearts, a hundred arms; I feel too strong to war w/mortals. Bring me giants. I use little punctuation and no " at all. Those who catch all of them are eligible for the first season of Justified. This is my new mic speaking. She is Roxanne, Ava is my editor. Can't thank you enough.

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11 - Fox turned to Bud Lite and said “Hold my beer”.

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Cruel you are Shlongy and i applaud.

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There are so many things to comment on, so I will just pick out a few.

Nancy Pelosi's knockers are obscene. Like Pelosi's marriage, they are as fake as she is. I have hugged ONE woman who also had implants and they were hard as iron. It was the last time I ever hugged her. As far as Joe Biden being the first accused pedophile president, I can't help but comment on "Fairy" Barry Obama or whatever his real name was/is. I remember a federal officer saying that if Obama was trying to get a background clearance to be a secret service agent, he would fail......so I can't help but ask: Was Biden ever vetted??

As far as reparations go, it would be the same as winning the lottery. More than half the people who have won the lottery are bankrupt within five years. Like Joe Biden who wants to "Finish the job" Walmart will be walking on eggshells once the reparations money runs out.

I just read that Biden has a 39% approval rating. How can that be. I could have sworn his "approval" would be in the single digits if any polls were to be believed--like Hilary Clinton having a 90% approval rating going into the 2016 election.

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Witness the sordid past history of our Lotto winners. Reparations = The consequences of winning Lotto, on steroids. And Biden gets 39% because of the old SAT rule: You get 200 points simply by taking the test.

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for writing your name....

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250 if misspelt.

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JFK was poking a sixteen year old intern and coerced her into giving another man a blowjob in the White House pool.

We won't discuss LBJ, people would get sick.

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

If you are as old as I am and remember “the” Thanksgiving episode of WKRP there is no other answer.

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"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

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"ITEM 5: Just the News reported, “Sen. Romney says Biden needs to negotiate with Republicans on debt limit bill.”

Good idea. Does Mitt know where we can find some Republicans?"

(Punch) line of the week.

I love this roundup. It's like a really nice slice of cake after a week of Brussels sprouts and kale. Thank you.

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

Question of the Day: Was the WKRP Turkey Drop episode inspired by the Florence Oregon story of the Dynamited Whale?

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

Funny comment! Turkeys came first I believe. Don't really care enough to search the web. (I don't Google.) Maybe I'm a bit of a curmudgeon today.

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

The whale was dynamited in 1970, the Turkeys Away episode was 1978 (and I am feeling old)

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Still one of the all time funniest scenes in TV history.

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GOD as my witness, I thought they could fly.

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No. That was Florence Nightingale. Um, correction: Florence and The Ma-cheen (UK). Possibly Florence, Italy? (See what happens when I get up at 5 a.m.?)

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Florence Oregon has the whale, Florence CO has the Federal SuperMax Prison, Florence Alabama has an Indian Mound, Florence SC has 2300 unknown Union Soldiers.

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Flo Max what a lovely sight

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And Florence SC is where Fox News should be buried, in tandem with Hillary Clinton.

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Update: Florence Arizona has a monument to Tom Mix, because Mix was fatally injured in a single car accident there in 1940 (Tom Mix was my mom’s favorite movie cowboy, she had no use for sissy singing cowboys)

Florence Indiana is an unincorporated community with a population of 60 and is adjacent to a casino

Florence Kansas is a railroad town named after the daughter of the president of the railroad. (Florence South Carolina is also a railroad town named after the daughter of a different railroad president)

Florence Kentucky is well known in surrounding cities for a water tower visible from I-71/I-75 that reads "Florence Y'all". Built in 1974, the tower originally advertised the up-and-coming Florence Mall, as part of an agreement with the mall developers who donated the land for the tower. But because the mall was not built yet, the tower violated highway regulations, and the city was forced to change it within a short deadline. Rather than repaint the entire tower, they simply painted over the two vertical lines of the "M" to create a "Y". The intent was to change it back when the mall was built, but the local residents liked the tower's new proclamation, so the city decided to leave it as it was. The local baseball team adopted the name Florence Y-alls

Florence Massachusetts was a stop on the Underground Railroad and was home of Sojourner Truth from 1846 to 1857

Florence South Dakota “ Florence was named for a lady acquaintance of a railroad employee.” (Author’s Note: knowing what I do of the history of railroads in the US I have my ownopinion of what that means)

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Florence, Mississippi is the home of Country Pleasin’ Sausage.

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If my alarm clock had insomnia, imagine what comments I'd be writing at 1 a.m., 2:39 a.m. 3:59 a.m...

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I knew the State of Oregon supervisor in that whale video. He worked for ODOT, he and his wife moved to Port Orford and would never talk about it. Had another one wash up on the Beach in 1988 in Port Orford. They very quietly (as quiet as a Cat tracked backhoe can be) and buried the carcass in place. Deep in the sand.😁

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13 - regarding the lawsuit, this is insane. “The lawyers argued that even though Carlson was not physically present in the New York office, he directed other employees to create a “sexist” work environment on his behalf.”

I suggest Gomez Addams is her attorney. Yes, he is an attorney. https://addamsfamily.fandom.com/wiki/Gomez_Addams

“ Although he rarely practices, he boasts of having put many criminals behind bars while acting as their defense attorney.”

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Morticia was smart enough to keep Gomez home. As for the plaintiff, she is playing the Stormy Daniel’s role in the remake of “Get Trump....Tucker Carlson edition.”

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Given that this young woman is running around doing all the talk shows who salivate over her salacious tales, I have to question the entirety of her story. She seems more opportunistic than traumatized.

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She studied at blasey ford’s school for acting out non rapes

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No, no, no...this is page #1 right out of the playbook:

Some woman (as a proxy for some leftist group that is paying all of the attendant costs and fees) files a sexual harrassment lawsuit, the defendant has to pay lawyers, then it gets dismissed.

The defendant, more often than not, loses a fortune in legal fees, is fired from his job, then forgotten.

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Reminded me of the Kavanaugh mess.

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I hope he finds Bailey Quarters' replacement... I always found her sexier than Loni.

"He wants to finish us off." Indeed.

“When we see the few truth-tellers who are the stars of their organizations jettisoned – Tucker Carlson from Fox News, Matt Taibbi from Rolling Stone, Glenn Greenwald from The Intercept, James O’Keefe from Project Veritas… we must face the fact that there is an organized conspiracy to suppress truth.” — Paul Craig Roberts

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Actually, Don Surber should replace Tucker, just so he can read his posts on air. But Fox News lack the spine and cohones for that, as it transmogrifies into a boneless chicken ranch.

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They left doesn’t do humor

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

The weeks news is so Dystopian. You know things are bad when the world Mike Judge imagined in his epic "Idiocracy" set 500 years in the future is better than the one we live in today. I better find some Brawndo...at least it has electrolytes.

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Brawndo, or Brighto?

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

"Oh, Maybelline, why can't you be true," cracks me up every time I think of it. Thank you Mr. Surber. Perfect! (Except now I have a compact and eye shadow to dispose of!)

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2 - we need to pray for our country and our conservative justices.

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Apr 29, 2023·edited Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

8 - FDA = False Dumb Advice —- thanks for the suggestions.

Flagrantly Dumb Advice.

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by Don Surber

I think you might have a double-negative there that makes the FDA look occasionally clever. How about "Flagrantly Distorted Advice" or "Fools Doing Avarice?"

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I love "Fools Doing Avarice." That's closer to the truth.

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Item 22: send that mulvaney thing with a can of Bud Light and some maybelline to the taliban. That’ll show them!

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#1: My suspicion is that FauxNews' ratings always WERE inflated, now that I know (courtesy of another faithful reader of the Daily Don Surber) that FauxNews' revenue is more from cable operators' fees than advertising market rates. I'm guessing that if truth be told, [P]MSNBC owned that slot the whole time.

#3: Given Wilhelm's age and overall condition, it's likely an audiobook. Now, THAT'S a job for AI - can you imagine someone having to read child porn for playback on-demand?

#4: "He means finish us off."

That's EXACTLY what he means.

#6: "But it turns out it never happened."

<channel="Gomer Pyle">Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!</channel>

#17: The administration couldn't be bothered to put half as much thought and planning into the withdrawal and evacuation from Afghanistan?

#22: Yep. I'm sure they'll get right on that...

#23: No, but Biden wants to make it ours...

#25: The Democrat delegation of the congressional UniParty (Pfizer) demanding a code of ethics is so rich, I can feel the diabetic coma coming on just reading the headline.

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