Highlights of the week

ITEM 1: Axios reported, “Shots fired into Democratic campaign office in Arizona.”

Someone fired a BB gun into an empty office at midnight. Police are on the lookout for Jussie Smollett and two Nigerian brothers.

ITEM 2: The Daily Mail reported, “I ate 700 eggs in a month as an experiment — what happened to my health went against everything I'd been told.”

He became Paul Newman.

ITEM 3: Reuters reported, “Exclusive: Biden to make first Africa visit with Angola trip in coming weeks, sources say.”

Probably shopping for a post-presidential home because the U.S. has no extradition treaty with Angola.

ITEM 4: Fox reported, “Argentina sees dips in popularity in Pope Francis, new poll finds.”

It’s a Catholic country so maybe should go back to being Catholic.

ITEM 5: NBC reported, “1 in 3 teens can’t get tampons or pads during their periods, study finds.”

If schools stocked them in the girls’ powder room instead of the boys’ john, the girls would have them.

ITEM 6: MSN reported, “China’s newest nuclear-powered attack submarine sank in the spring, a major setback for one of the country’s priority weapons programs, U.S. officials said.

“The episode, which Chinese authorities scrambled to cover up and hasn’t previously been disclosed, occurred at a shipyard near Wuhan in late May or early June.”

Wuhan. That explains it all. The sub’s crew obviously ate a bat bought at a wet market that went bad.

ITEM 7: BBC reported, “New York City Mayor Eric Adams indicted on federal charges.”

The charge is Publicly Disagreeing With Open Borders While Democrat.

ITEM 8: Insider reported, “See the luxury hotel suite feds say Eric Adams paid only $600 for when the stay was worth $7,000.”

If he were an illegal alien, he would have gotten it free.

ITEM 9: Axios reported, “Hezbollah asked Iran to attack Israel, Israeli and Western officials say.”

Hey, Iran, Don’t forget your pagers!

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:

Harris Surrogate Sen. Coons Dodges Questions About Her Ducking Interviews.

ITEM 10: Ryan Saavedra tweeted, “Cardinal Dolan on Kamala Harris snubbing the Catholic community by skipping the Al Smith charity dinner: ‘This hasn’t happened in 40 years since Walter Mondale turned down the invitation. And remember, he lost 49 out of 50 states.’ ”

The only Walter ever elected president was Joe Biden.

ITEM 11: The Telegraph reported, “Donald Trump pledges to take jobs from Britain, Germany and China.”

Those 3 countries have a grand total of (punches numbers in his calculator) zero votes in the Electoral College.

ITEM 12: Sundance reported, “Sean Combs’ Body Guard Claims Music Mogul Kept Tapes of New York Politicians at Sex Parties.”

Please, please, please, don’t let Hillary be in any of those sex tapes. Nobody wants to see that.

ITEM 13: Breitbart reported, “CNN Admits to Using ‘Digitally Altered’ Photos of Donald Trump, Laura Loomer.”

CNN, the most trusted name in fake news.

ITEM 14: The New York Post reported, “Nancy Pelosi’s husband sold more than $500,000 worth of Visa stock — just weeks before DOJ’s antitrust lawsuit.”

He has a good excuse. He needed money to pay her wine tab this month.

ITEM 15: In a staged TV interview, Kamala said, “Gone Is The Day Of Everyone Thinking They Could Actually Live The American Dream.”

Great slogan, toots. No You Can’t!

ITEM 16: More from Chairman Mao-th: “We just need to move past the failed policies that we have proven don’t work.”

No, we just need to move her into a 12-step program.

ITEM 17: The Great Walz of Red China said, “We can’t afford four more years of this.”

Even he is not voting for her.

ITEM 18: Amiri King tweeted with video, “A Disney mom is under arrest after convincing ticket staff that her daughters were under three, hence gaining free entry to the park.”

After 10 years of saying they were 3, police got suspicious.

ITEM 19: Middle East Forum reported, “An Israeli airstrike on a Hezbollah bunker reportedly has killed Hezbollah Secretary-General Hassan Nasrallah. If true, his death would cap an impressive ten-day campaign that began with the simultaneous detonation of Hezbollah pagers, continued to take out senior military leaders, and now has decapitated the organization itself.”

The FAFO War continues. The ceasefire ends when all the terrorists are at room temperature.

BADASS OF THE WEEK:

ITEM 20: Breitbart reported, “Coca-Cola Faces Boycott Calls over Not Allowing ‘Trump 2024’ or Jesus on Cans.”

Coke allows putting Satan or Kamala on its cans, but I repeat myself.

ITEM 21: Zero Hedge reported, “Rudy Giuliani Disbarred In Washington Over 2020 Election Response.”

Make him attorney general.

ITEM 22: David Hookstead tweeted, “Boise State women’s volleyball announces it will not play San Jose State because the team’s best player is a male.

“Sources close to the situation tell me the players have the complete support of the school, coaches and parents.”

With a name like that, the school knows who are girlsie and who are Boise.

ITEM 23: CNBC reported, “The U.S. Secret Service is investigating allegations that one of its agents sexually assaulted a female staff member of the office of Vice President Kamala Harris, the agency confirmed Wednesday.”

The service will do a thorough investigation that won’t end until every last bit of evidence is destroyed.

ITEM 24: The Hill reported, “Speaker Johnson says House will not approve ‘Christmas omnibus’ ”

Sure it won’t. Congress lives to play Santa Claus with taxpayer money.

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why, Uncle Sam is coming to town
He’s making a list
He’s checking it twice
He’s going to find out
Who’s naughty and nice, Uncle Sam is coming to town

And you can bet that he sees you when you’re sleeping. He also wants to find out who’s nice and naughty. It’s for the Secret Service.

ITEM 25: Semafor reported, “Mike Pence quietly lays the groundwork for a post-Trump future.”

Pence ended his future on 6 JAN 21.

ITEM 26: The College Fix reported, “Arizona State U. scholars condemn ‘white ownership’ of Shakespeare.”

I remember the old days when cultural appropriation was a bad thing.

ITEM 27: The Daily Caller tweeted with video, “Edgard Leblanc Fils, President of the Transitional Presidential Council of Haiti, drank water directly from the pitcher during his speech before the UN General Assembly today.”

Eat cats? They cannot even drink water.

ITEM 28: The Hill reported, “Iran ‘takes the win’ in the Middle East.”

The win is Mossad decimating Hamas and Hezbollah while taking out a few Iranian generals as well. Maybe Iran can buy some rockets from Zelensky and the Taliban to fire futilely at the iron dome.

ITEM 29: Zelensky and the British PM, Herr Starmer, made pilgrimages to Trump Tower to visit the president.

But the election is in the bag for the Cackler. All the polls say it.

ITEM 30: Fox reported, “An appeals court slashed former President Trump's bond payment on Monday, saying Trump must pay $175 million within the next 10 days. Trump had previously faced a Monday deadline to pay a $454 million bond payment that came as a result of civil fraud allegations from New York Attorney General Letitia James.

“A New York Appeals Court, hours before the deadline to post the $454 million, lowered that bond considerably. The court ordered that Trump post $175 million within 10 days. Trump said he will abide by the appeals decision and post the $175 million bond.”

I hope he didn’t take out another loan to get the money because if he pays it back with interest that will trigger another civil fraud lawsuit by New York.

ITEM 31: Gateway Pundit reported, “Major Manhunt Underway by US Marshals for Nathan Wade — Fani Willis’s Lover Boy and former Fulton County Lead Investigator in Trump Lawfare Case.”

Might have found a new Sugar Mama but it is difficult for even rich ladies to compete in the gigolo market against a woman with an unlimited budget from taxpayers.

ITEM 32: The Daily Wire reported, “Gallup: For The First Time In Decades, More Voters Identify As GOP.”

So much for Trump killing the party.

ITEM 33: Open Source Intelligence Monitor tweeted, “Vahid Haddab, the Iranian Host of an Internet Program linked with the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, revealed recently that Israel conducted a Covert Operation last month inside of Iran, which resulted in the Assassination of a Senior Iranian Figure and the Theft of several Important Documents.

“Other Iranian Media Outlets have Denied the claims, with Vahid stating that there has been a Massive Coverup of the Incident by Iranian Officials, who are attempting to Redirect Focus away from the Attack; further claiming that recent Arrests announced by the IRGC of Israeli Agents as well as the Questioning of some Iranian Military Officers is linked to the Operation.”

American intelligence is just as good. Under Biden, it targets the Trump campaign.