Highlights of the week

Comments are open to all today only.

ITEM 1: The Independent reported, “Trump’s ‘One, big, beautiful bill’ would ban care for transgender people on Medicaid and Obamacare.”

That’s what makes it beautiful.

ITEM 2: Road & Track reported that Slaw Dog won the inaugural Wienie 500 among the six Oscar Mayer Wienermobiles at the Brickyard in Indianapolis.

Anthony Weiner could not be reached for comment.

ITEM 3: Susan Crabtree tweeted, “SCOOP: IS DEI STILL PLAGUING THE SECRET SERVICE?

“FRACAS OUTSIDE OBAMA RESIDENCE RAISES NEW QUESTIONS: Get a supervisor ‘immediately before I whoop this girl's ass.’

“Two female Secret Service Uniformed Division officers got into a physical fight outside former President Obama’s D.C. residence while guarding it. The fracas occurred at roughly 2:30 a.m. early Wednesday morning, according to two sources in the Secret Service community.”

President DEI needs security from his DEI security team.

ITEM 4: The Miami Herald said, “A U.S. Supreme Court ruling that allows the Trump administration to strip deportation protections and work permits from hundreds of thousands of Venezuelans—including many in South Florida, home to an estimated 175,000 people from the South American country—sent shock waves throughout the greater Miami region and across the Sunshine State on Monday.”

BoA airlines, which flies from Miami to Caracas, is gonna need a bigger plane.

ITEM 5: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “The Trump administration sent criminal aliens to South Sudan, from Texas, convicted of crimes including child r*pe, m*rder, r*pe of a handicapped person and more. And a judge in Massachusetts is now trying to BRING THEM BACK.”

Who knew South Sudan was part of Massachusetts? That must be the largest judicial district in the USA.

The judge is an auto-pen appointee.

ITEM 6: Reason reported, “A Federal Judge Says New Mexico Cops Reasonably Killed an Innocent Man at the Wrong House.”

Another auto-pen appointee.

ITEM 7: NBC tweeted, “The EU and the UK have announced a new raft of sanctions against Russia on Tuesday, less than 24 hours after President Trump and his Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin exchanged a friendly phone call about ending the war in Ukraine.”

Someone should remind EU and the UK that the USA sided with Russia in both world wars.

ITEM 8: NYT tweeted, “Gerald Connolly, the top Democrat on the House oversight committee, died at 75, weeks after announcing he planned to retire. He had said late last year that he was being treated for cancer of the esophagus.”

Rob tweeted back, “This is the only fact you will read from the NYT’s today, enjoy!”

ITEM 9: Derrick Evans tweeted, “The very first self-deportation flights just landed in Colombia & Honduras.

“68 illegals used the new app to self-deport & take advantage of the deportation assistance of $1,000, travel assistance, & the ability to one day be allowed to apply for legal entry.”

Thank God and Greyhound, they’re gone.

ITEM 10: Why should we spend $25 billion developing an anti-missile system to cover the country?

Fox tweeted, Red “China accuses U.S. of ‘turning space into a warzone’ with Trump’s Golden Dome missile defense project.”

Oh? Then let’s spend $50 billion and build two.

ITEM 11: Deutsche Welle reported, “Canada in talks with US about joining Golden Dome plan.”

Suddenly being the 51st state isn’t so bad.

ITEM 12: NBC reported, “Columbia University’s acting president heckled with boos and shouts of ‘Free Mahmoud’ during graduation speech.”

The students were upset because they invited the leader of Hamas to give the commencement speech but the IDF keeps 86-ing them.

Translation for Jimmy the Weasel Comey: the IDF keeps killing them.

ITEM 13: CNN in Turkey reported, “Iran’s Secret Service had established a unit to target Mossad agents within Iran. However, the head of this unit turned out to be a Mossad operative himself, along with 20 other agents.”

I’ll just go on to the next item—once I finish laughing.

ITEM 14: NYT said, “Roughly one quarter of the corporate donors to New York City’s annual Pride festivities have either canceled or scaled back their support this year, citing economic uncertainty and fear that the Trump administration could punish corporations it viewed as supporting a celebration of gay and transgender rights.”

NYT can credit Trump all they want but the companies just don’t want to be the next Bud Light—because it is you they fear. Trump just has the nukes.

ITEM 15: Politico complained, “Trump has sat for only 12 ‘daily’ intelligence briefings since taking office.”

Marco “Polo” Rubio testified in Congress, “The State Department had to change. It was no longer at the center of American foreign policy. It had often been replaced by the National Security Council or some other agency of government when in fact, we have these highly talented people that were being edged out.”

51 former intel chiefs calling Hunter’s laptop Russian propaganda opened Trump’s eyes.

ITEM 16: Brother Wallace tweeted, “Ilhan Omar doesn’t want to wait out the four years of Trump’s presidency: ‘I’m seriously thinking about going back to Somalia.’ ”

If true, look for the first billion-dollar GoFundMe.

ITEM 17: Breitbart chortled, “Executives with Disney and ABC News have reportedly asked The View hosts to tone down their bashing of President Donald Trump and political rhetoric overall.”

Ratings must be falling.

ITEM 18: Collin Rugg tweeted:

Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt torches Yamiche Alcindor with receipts from the Associated Press after Alcindor tried cornering her on the South African white crosses.

Alcindor: What protocols are in place when there’s unsubstantiated information being put out?

Leavitt: What's unsubstantiated about the video? The video shows crosses that represent the dead bodies of people who were racially persecuted by their government.

In fact, the Associated Press, of all places, has a picture of that very monument.

In the caption from the Associated Press is, “Each cross marks a white farmer who has been killed in a farm murder.”

AP said? Well then, Miss Alcindor may have a point.

ITEM 19: Bill Megulin tweeted, “DHS has officially revoked Harvard’s Student and Exchange Visitor Program certification, meaning that they can no longer enroll international students at the university and any of Harvard’s existing foreign students must transfer out or lose their legal status.”

Well, that is one way to get out of finals.

ITEM 20: Welcome to Jeopardy. And the answer is—Ozempic.

ITEM 21: Senator Mark Kelly, CCP-Arizona, said, “Elon Musk doesn’t know how to stand up for America's values.

“I sworn an oath when I was 22 years old to protect and defend the Constitution. Pretty sure Elon Musk didn’t do that. But maybe he did swear an oath to his billionaire buddies and not to the Constitution. Elon Musk maybe this is a fight you ought to stay out of.”

On the day he became a citizen, Elon Musk said, “I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.”

ITEM 22: Tom Fitton tweeted, “In a massive blow to the permanent administrative state, the Supreme Court, in 6-3 order, lifts stay on Trump firings of Democratic appointees to ‘independent agencies.’ Key majority finding does not augur well for the future of constitutionally suspect agencies that protect appointees from being fired by the Chief Executive.”

From the Crazy World of Donald Trump:

Fired, to destroy all you’ve done
Fired, to end all you’ve become
I’ll feel you burn

ITEM 23: Collin Rugg tweeted, “Kim Jong Un reportedly watched as his brand new 5,000-ton warship toppled over right in front of him during a failed launch into the water.”

The tweet said the boat was built with the help of Russians, you know, the people who lost their best ship in an attack by Ukraine.

Ukraine has no navy.

Now, neither does North Korea.

ITEM 24: AP reported, “A federal judge on Wednesday struck down regulations requiring most U.S. employers to provide workers with time off and other accommodations for abortions.”

This was President Otto Penn’s interpretation of the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act.

How about men? Do they get paid leave to buy condoms?

ITEM 25: Homeland Security announced, “Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem ordered DHS to terminate the Harvard University’s Student and Exchange Visitor Program (certification.

“This means Harvard can no longer enroll foreign students and existing foreign students must transfer or lose their legal status.

“Harvard’s leadership has created an unsafe campus environment by permitting anti-American, pro-terrorist agitators to harass and physically assault individuals, including many Jewish students, and otherwise obstruct its once-venerable learning environment. Many of these agitators are foreign students. Harvard’s leadership further facilitated, and engaged in coordinated activity with the CCP, including hosting and training members of a CCP paramilitary group complicit in the Uyghur genocide.”

The students are crushed. Now they may have to go to Yale. The horror.

Of course an Obama judge instantly blocked the move, citing the judiciary’s self-created power to veto anything President Trump does.

ITEM 26: NBC reported, “Federal judge blocks Trump administration from revoking international students’ legal status.”

The story said, “Though many international students have been successful in individually challenging the Trump administration, guaranteeing their own right to stay in the U.S., the injunction is the first to provide relief to students nationwide.”

A right? But Mahoney never mentioned it.

He said, “You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to a court-appointed attorney. You have the right to sing the blues. You have the right to cable TV—that’s very important. You have the right to sublet. You have the right to paint the walls—no loud colors.”

Mahoney is now a federal magistrate judge in Chicago.

ITEM 27: Breitbart reported, “Sen. Joni Ernst Finds ‘Huge’ Fraud in the $60 Billion Federal Employees Spent with Government Credit Cards: Charges at Casinos, Bars, Pay-Per-View UFC Fights.”

The amount would have been higher but most coke dealers and hookers accept cash only.

ITEM 28: Dilbert creator Scott Adams in September 2015 convinced me and many others that Trump was the one we needed as president. This week Adams revealed he has cancer and won’t live to see Labor Day.

President Trump called to console him.

ITEM 29: Trump tweeted, “I am giving very serious consideration to bringing Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac public. I will be speaking with Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick, and the Director of the Federal Housing Finance Agency, William Pulte, among others, and will be making a decision in the near future. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are doing very well, throwing off a lot of CASH, and the time would seem to be right. Stay tuned!”

How about dumping the student loans too? Call the new agency Franny Leech.

ITEM 30: Jody Serrano reported, “The New York Times Wrote About an Indigenous Tribe's Exposure to the Internet. The Tribe Is Suing It for Portraying It As ‘Porn Addicts.’ ”

They seek $180 million in damages. If they win, Mo Dowd can raise the money by starting an OnlyFan account.

ITEM 31: Benny Johnson tweeted, “President Trump announces US Steel will remain in the United States: ‘Will create 70,000 jobs and add $14 billion to the economy.’ ”

The company has 14,000 workers now. Trump OK’d its partnership with Nippon Steel, which had planned to use the $14 billion to buy US Steel outright. But Trump knows nothing about business, right?