Highlights of the week

An ugly picture for an ugly week. It looks like Democrats and their forest fire killed 388 people in Maui. The sirens didn’t go off. Water was withheld for five hours. The state used this fire to clear the land so rich men north of Richmond can build mansions.

A hurricane ripped through Florida and neighboring states. Residents got plenty of advance notice and evacuated their homes after DeSantis promised, “You loot, we shoot.”

ITEM 1: Gateway Pundit reported, “Why Is the IRS Buying .40-Caliber Submachine Guns?”

Because revenooers are such terrible shots.

ITEM 2: Chicks on the Right reported, “WVU Could be Discontinuing their Degree Path in . . . Puppetry.”

They are getting rid of the one liberal arts course that could lead to actual employment.

ITEM 3: Tucker Carlson asked Hungary’s leader, Viktor Orban, what Biden should do about Ukraine.

Orban replied, “peace immediately [and] call back Trump.”

I grew up near Little Budapest in Cleveland. Hungarians are smart. This one read my mind.

ITEM 4: UPI reported, “Alcohol doesn’t make others seem more attractive, study shows.”

Were the researchers drunk when they wrote this?

ITEM 5: The Daily Wire reported, “Pentagon Officials Worked To Finalize Climate Plan During Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal, Emails Show.”

Polar bears matter more than those 13 Marines Biden left to die two years ago.

ITEM 6: The Wrap reported, “Rachel Maddow Worries Trump Will Be ‘Probably President for Life’ if He Wins in 2024.”

I hope so.

ITEM 7: Paul L. Caron reported, “After Rise In Adjunct Faculty Of Color From 9.52% To 9.59%, ABA Finds Baylor Back In Compliance With Accreditation Diversity Standard.”

A silly millimeter longer.

But say, aren’t adjuncts paid far less than real professors? Baylor needs to address this racist exploitation of FOC.

ITEM 8: The Epoch Times reported, “Maine Hospital Fired Nurses for Refusing COVID Shots — Now It’s Begging Them to Come Back.”

Well, someone has to replace all those nurses who took the covid shot and died.

ITEM 9: Andrew Bernard reported, “More than two dozen Republican Senators on Friday sent a letter to top Biden administration officials challenging their decision to unfreeze $6 billion in Iranian assets to secure the release of five Americans held by the Islamic Republic.”

Oh a stern letter. That will be put to good use because the White House is running out of toilet paper.

ITEM 10: UPI reported, “Over-the-counter Narcan to hit drugstore shelves next week.”

We did not lose the war on drugs. We surrendered. Free needles. Free places to shoot up Free narcan when you overdose so you can overdose again. If you get high and die in police custody, the cop goes to prison, they give your family millions, and your death day is a national holiday.

But the federal government kept every draconian law used in the war on the books as this was an excuse to erase God-given rights. That’s the answer to every crisis.

Meanwhile, 60 years after The Pill was introduced, you still need a prescription for it.

ITEM 11: NBC reported, “Proud Boy Joe Biggs receives 17 years in Jan. 6 seditious conspiracy case.”

He moved a fence. If he had shot and killed an unarmed woman, he would have been promoted to captain.

I liked the Roll Call headline: “Capitol Police promotes officers who got Jan. 6 attack spotlight.” Lee Harvey Oswald also got spotlight. James Earl Ray, too.

ITEM 12: The teacher told Jaiden he could not wear a Don’t Tread On Me patch. She had him and his mother hauled into the principal’s office, where she wrongly stated the Gadsden flag was a pro-slavery symbol.

Jaiden went Nicholas Sandmann on the bully teacher. A video of him and her went viral and within hours, the school’s board of directors relented. He can wear the flag patch in school. That’s the way you do it, kids: smile as you patiently listen to their bullshit.

ITEM 13: Breitbart reported, “The Disney+ streaming service is cutting three series as part of the studio’s continued efforts to rein in its profligate spending, with woke, multi-racial reboots of Doogie Howser, M.D. and 20,000 Leagues under the Sea among the titles on the chopping block.

“In a sign of how drastic the cuts are, the 20,000 Leagues reboot, titled Nautilus, was canceled before it even debuted — as was an upcoming series based on The Spiderwick Chronicles. Both shows had already completed production, according to a Deadline report.”

That is a weird way to cut costs — by not releasing shows you already have made.

ITEM 14: CNBC reported, “Failing to resolve the dual strikes of the writers’ and screen actors guilds in Hollywood will lead to ‘devastating effects if it is not settled soon,’ IAC and Expedia Chairman Barry Diller said in an interview on CBS’ Face the Nation on Sunday.”

The Internet is doing to Hollywood what it did to newspapers. Late-night TV cannot keep pace with memes and R-rated shows cannot compete with online porn. Streaming seems to be a bust. Hollywood seems to be run by a bunch of Alissa Heinerscheids.

ITEM 15: The Guardian reported, “EU imports of Russian liquified gas leap by 40% since Ukraine invasion.”

But I thought all those windmills would keep Europe warm.

ITEM 16: Why does CNN hate Twitter?

The answer X-capes me.

ITEM 17: AP reported, “The Biden administration is proposing a rule that would require thousands more firearms dealers to run background checks, in an effort to combat rising gun violence nationwide.”

There is no link to legally obtained firearms and the drive by shootings and other homicides that plague the nation. It’s like suing car companies because thieves steal their cars. Hahaha.

Oh. They are?

ITEM 18: The Daily Mail reported, “A super PAC set up to back Ron DeSantis with $50 million is closing as donors backed out — while its founder said the Florida governor's campaign was guilty of ‘rookie s**t’ mistakes and he will now back Donald Trump.”

America’s governor won’t become America’s president because someone new will come along for 2028.

ITEM 19: Adam Andrzejewski reported, “In 2020, Oregon voted to decriminalize the possession and use of almost all drugs. Now, addicts do hard drugs in the open, and a treatment hotline has so far cost taxpayers $7,000 per call, according to The Economist, putting the spending at $1.4 million.”

They set up a million-dollar hotline to take 200 calls. Heck, I get more spam calls than that each month. Where’s my $1.4 million?

ITEM 20: Post Millennial reported, “CNN taps Mark Thompson as new CEO after he allegedly covered up pedophilia scandal at BBC during 2004-12 term.”

Alas, Thompson arrived too late to save John Griffin.

ITEM 21: Never Trumper Daniel Oliver wrote, “DeSantis is a sitting governor, a successful sitting governor, and a phenomenal vote-getter. He’s not Ronald Reagan. There’s no ‘There you go again’ from him. But he’s solid: he played baseball in college and was a tough guy in the Navy.”

He was a JAG. And the last Yale baseball player we had as president was named Bush.

Look, we either fight a corrupt DOJ and nominate Trump, or we stay home and accept our fate. We have no choice. Sorry. This is too serious a situation to argue about aid to Ukraine, abortion, DEI or CRT. The indictments took our choice away. Trump is the only option.

Our tough JAG should be in court defending him.

ITEM 22: Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal said, “The World Is Contemplating a Second Trump Administration.

“Possibility that former president will win next year’s election has capitals across globe on edge.”

Good. The evil rulers should be soiling themselves because most of the governments are corrupt fiefdoms that crack down on protesters while allowing invaders to overrun their borders.

Under Trump, Putin stayed out of Ukraine, Iran paid the price for its terrorism, and 5 Muslim states accepted Israel’s right to exist, bringing the total to 7 in 70 years. Rupert Murdoch and the intelligence community don’t like that.

ITEM 23: Politico reported, “Gov. Phil Murphy suggested Thursday that New Jersey does not have the resources to take an influx of migrants from New York City at the direction of the Biden administration.

“The comments by the Democratic governor — who once said New Jersey would become a sanctuary state for immigrants on his watch — comes as the Biden administration reportedly is considering relocating migrants in New York City to the Atlantic City International Airport. The airport is one of 11 federal sites that the Biden administration has sent to the New York City Mayor’s Office that are under consideration.”

How dare Governors Abbott and DeSantis call out the virtue signaling Democrats north of Richmond!

ITEM 24: AP reported, “New York police will use drones to monitor backyard parties this weekend, spurring privacy concerns.”

Why don’t they use drones to monitor gangs? Why don’t they use drones to monitor looters of stores? Why don’t they use drones to monitor those who punch out little old ladies? Why don’t they use drones to monitor the subways?

Cops and robbers used to be a game not a coalition.

ITEM 25: Border Report reported, “The two U.S. senators from California are asking the federal government to provide emergency funding to try and stop constant sewage flows that originate south of the border but end up on the U.S. side and out into the Pacific Ocean contaminating beaches and the coastline.”

They won’t fight allowing gangs and terrorists to overflow the border but by golly we must keep the beaches clean for homeless drug addicts and illegal aliens.

ITEM 26: AP said, “The White House will seek an additional $4 billion to address natural disasters as part of its supplemental funding request, bringing the total to $16 billion — a sign that wildfires, flooding and hurricanes that have intensified during a period of climate change are imposing ever higher costs on U.S. taxpayers.”

The extra $4 billion should cover the expense of FEMA workers staying at luxury resorts. They are from the government and here to help (Paul Harvey pause) themselves.

ITEM 27: The Independent reported, “An extremely dangerous murder convict has escaped from a Pennsylvania prison prompting authorities to launch a manhunt.

“Danelo Cavalcante, a 34-year-old man who stabbed his ex-girlfriend to death, escaped from Chester County Prison in West Chester around 8.45 a.m. on Thursday, said the county’s district attorney Deb Ryan.”

He killed her in front of her kids, 3 and 7, in 2021. It took the jury 15 minutes to convict him. They wanted to finish their coffee before they returned to court.

Cavalcante was one of those asylum seekers who want refuge from the violence in their home countries. In his case it is Brazil, where he is wanted for murder.

ITEM 28: CBS reported, “Trump trial in Fulton County will be televised and live streamed, Georgia judge says.”

This will work as well as that mugshot did.

ITEM 29: Roll Call reported, “President Joe Biden submitted the paperwork to move forward with what averages out to a 5.2% federal pay increase next year.”

Largest pay raise in 43 years.

Gotta keep those clock-watching feds voting Democrat.

ITEM 30: Global Update reported, “World's First Wind Powered Cargo Ship Sets Sail with Giant Metal Wings — Pyxis Ocean.”

Stop giggling. They really believe they invented sailing.

They also believe the world is boiling. It takes a brave man to sail an ocean of boiling water.

ITEM 31: PJ Media reported, “Emails Show Hunter Biden Had Close Ties to High-Level Obama Officials.”

Wow. I hear he’s known Obama’s vice president for over 50 years!

FINALLY: Thank you for the happy birthday notes. I write because I don’t feel 70 when I write. I feel 17 with experience.