HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

ITEM 1: On Aug 18, 2022, John Bolton said of the raid on Mar-a-Lago, “There is no evidence there is a partisan motive here. I think everybody just ought to calm down, whether you’re pro-Trump or anti-Trump, and let the process work its way through.”

On Friday, Roger Stone tweeted, “Good morning. John Bolton. How does it feel to have your home raided at 7 o’clock in the morning?”

Jesse Watters on Fox said, “Primetime (his show’s name) is hearing Bolton was making a lot of money from overseas and may have been trafficking in intelligence.”

If true, can you blame him? Do you know how much moustache wax costs nowadays?

ITEM 2: The Hollywood Reporter reported, “Ronnie Rondell Jr., Hollywood Stuntman Set on Fire for a Pink Floyd Album, Dies at 88.”

The album came out in 1975. They had 50 years to put the fire out.

ITEM 3: National Review reported, “Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard announced Tuesday that she will be revoking security clearances for 37 current and former intel officials for allegedly abusing the public’s trust by manipulating information and conducting political activities.”

She took away their security clearances? Democrats have not been this upset since the warden took away Jeff Dahmer’s meat tenderizer.

ITEM 4: The Conservative Brief reported, “Trump Projected to Slash Federal Government’s Workforce By 300,000.”

Sadly, Boasberg and the other DC district judges are not on the list.

ITEM 5: Zero Hedge reported, “Washington D.C. Has The Highest Unemployment Rate In The Nation.”

The smaller the government gets, the greater we become.

ITEM 6: Metro Weekly reported, “D.C.’s gay bar owners say checkpoints, heavy police presence, and fear of profiling are driving customers away and slashing weekend revenue.”

That’s because Congress went home. The picture with the story was of Pitchers DC Bar, which begs the question is there a Catchers AC Bar?

ITEM 7: Collin Rugg reported, “Nonbinary Yosemite biologist who hung a transgender pride flag from El Capitan has been fired. 35-year-old Shannon Joslin was fired after she and 6 other climbers hung a 55-by-35-foot flag from El Capitan.”

Boo-Boo tried to warn her saying, “Mister Ranger isn’t going to like this.”

ITEM 8: After being caught on camera, Bret Baier tweeted, “I picked up my ringing phone as I drove past an officer while driving my wife’s car in Georgetown. He pointed to have me pull over. I did. He was very professional. I had to dig for the registration card. Got a ticket and left. I didn’t know there was paparazzi.”

Classic case of DWB—driving while Bret.

ITEM 9: Cracker Barrel’s new logo loses the barrel and the cracker.

ITEM 10: ABC reported, “FDA warns public not to eat possibly radioactive shrimp sold at Walmart.”

They are sold under the brand name Chernobyl Chunks™.

ITEM 11: American Spectator reported, “NFL Tries Male Cheerleaders. That’s the Left’s Plan to Win Back Men?”

They certainly are not there to attract women.

ITEM 12: NBC reported, “Trump says Fed Governor Lisa Cook must resign after William Pulte alleges mortgage fraud.”

Another Biden hire of a DEI—Definitely, Extraordinarily Incompetent.

ITEM 13: ABC reported, “California resident tests positive for plague.”

Another reason Bed, Bath & Beyond left.

ITEM 14: CBS reported, “Many people using OTC birth control pills previously used nothing, study finds.”

Given the low birthrate, we need to make fertility pills easy to get at 18 and make birth control pills so hard to get, you must be 55 or older to get them.

ITEM 15: Kristi Noem said the southern border wall will be painted black to “make it even harder for people to climb. That is specifically at the request of the president.”

Paint It Black happens when your president is a Rolling Stones fan.

ITEM 16: Rod Blagojevich tweeted pictures and said, “That’s me last weekend singing Jailhouse Rock & Hound Dog at the Taste of Italy Festival on Taylor Street in Chicago. A real thrill to perform with the Bronx Wanderers, a great band from Vegas. The good news for all of you out there is there is no sound of me singing.”

He sang that first song from experience.

ITEM 17: Daniel Turner reported, “Electric vehicle maker Rivian says it faces a $100 million hole after Trump relaxed fuel economy rules.”

I’d cry tears but salty water makes EVs catch fire.

ITEM 18: Wired reported, “Government Staffing Cuts Have Fueled an Ant-Smuggling Boom.”

Welcome back, Adam. Hear you don’t drink, don’t smoke. What do you do?

ITEM 19: The Daily Mail reported, “Obama’s ‘obscene monument to his ego’ dramatically backfires as $850 million vanity project sparks outrage.”

What’s the problem? His presidential library will be as ugly as his presidency.

I want Trump to put a huge roller coaster in his.

ITEM 20: Trump on re-grassing DC parks: “I’m very good at grass because I have a lot of golf courses all over the place. I know more about grass than any human being in the world. We have a life and grass has a life—and the grass here died about 40 years ago.”

Fact-check: Obama knows more about grass, just not the kind Trump’s talking about.

ITEM 21: NBC reported, “Over a dozen Hispanic businesses tell NBC Connecticut Investigates foot traffic has plummeted.”

They should follow their customers to Mexico.

ITEM 22: The New York Times reported, “The Democrat Party Faces a Voter Registration Crisis.”

The last paragraph said, “Behind the scenes, a fierce fight is underway over how Democrats should address their sagging voter registration numbers and which groups should receive funding to do the work. It’s a battle with hundreds of millions of dollars at stake, pitting partisans against philanthropists and some of the Democrat Party’s most important constituencies against one another.”

The less cheese there is, the harder the rats fight for it.

ITEM 23: West Virginia’s own Tyson Bagent signed a $10 million extension as a backup quarterback for the Bears. With tears running down, he told reporters, “My dad is my right-hand man. He didn’t even have running water until he was in high school.”

His father is an arm-wrestling champion who grew up in Maentwrog, Wales.

The son went to Shepherd University. Hey, there are worse things than herding sheep when the football gig ends.

ITEM 24: Breaking News reported, “Man is arrested after shouting, ‘We love bacon’ near a mosque and a migrant hotel in London.”

Good luck ordering breakfast. Where in London isn’t there a mosque or migrant hotel nearby?

ITEM 25: The Daily Mail reported, “Migrant who anguished liberals by howling ‘I just want to be with my family’ during ICE arrest is suspected pedophile.”

Like Joe Biden, it’s all about the family for David Perez-Teofani.

ITEM 26: The New York Times reported, “For the first time in decades, more immigrants are leaving the United States than arriving, a new study finds, an early indication that President Trump’s hardline immigration agenda is leading people to depart—whether through deportation or by choice.”

See you later, or it’s the alligators.

ITEM 27: AP reported, “The State Department said Thursday that it’s reviewing the records of more than 55 million foreigners who hold valid U.S. visas for potential revocation or deportable violations of immigration rules.”

Rude guests go home.

ITEM 28: Ah, Democrats.

They think they still own “the blacks.”

ITEM 29: Mass Daily News reported, “Boston cops are secretly helping ICE behind Mayor Wu’s back—slipping tips to feds while City Hall ties their hands. The cops are siding with residents while Wu vows to continue shielding illegals.”

First Woman Mayor of Boston, which means she’s a DEI hire: a Dumb, Empty-headed Idiot.

ITEM 30: The Hill reported, “Supreme Court allows Trump to gut DEI-linked NIH grants.”

18th time this year the justices overturned a district court judge on blocking Trump.

On Thursday, an Obama appointee order the destruction of Alligator Alcatraz. That’ll be No. 19.

But keep their appointments lifelong because we have to keep politics out of the courts.

ITEM 31: NBC reported, “For the first time in 30 years, the American Academy of Pediatrics is substantially diverging from U.S. government vaccine recommendations.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics’ main donors include Abbott, Merck, Moderna, Pfizer, Eli Lilly and Company, Genentech, GlaxoSmithKline, Prolacta, Sanofi, and Regeneron.

ITEM 32: PunchBowl News had the headline of the week, “How Schatz locked up the whip race.”

The story is about how the senator from Hawaii became the No. 2 Democrat in the Senate. His name alone destined him to be a No. 2.