172 Comments
Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

When I saw that Trump post about returning to Butler, PA to rally and honor those lost and wounded, it was a finger in the eye of the Secret Service which had recommended no more outdoor venues. Trump is the best at knowing how the political winds are blowing and taking advantage of them. The MSM is going to be 'big mad' over this.

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Jul 27·edited Jul 27

democrats in general want no outdoor Trump rallies because it allows Trump supporters to freely gather in suburban areas without harassment from dem-marxist Antifa-proxies.

Relegating Trump rallies to urban arenas is the goal. It creates for democrats a costly location limitation on the campaign and for Antifa-types a kill-zone where they can harass Trump supporters because it creates a gauntlet on their turf.

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This is a case of more balls than brains in that he's got more balls than the SS has brains.

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And his aren't "lab grown" per the story in Highlights of the Week. :)

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We all do.

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And don’t talk to the FBI. Or the police. Don’t. It’s never a good choice.

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It will also be fascinating to observe the differences between that and the earlier event in SS preparation and performance -- if any.

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07/27/24: The 2nd Butler Rally will get a bigger crowd than Woodstock in '69.

ITEM 6... "[NYT]: Kamala Harris Is the Least ‘Electable’ Democrat” ...

The Poll: Get it over with. Harvey Weinstein as her Veep.

(Problem: Harris has been more abusive to women than Harv.)

ITEM 20... “...Tucker Carlson overtook Joe Rogan on the Spotify charts ... to be the [#1] ... podcast in the country.”

Next time Fox loses a $700M lawsuit, Tucker should call them and offer to pay the damages awarded to the litigant.

ITEM 22: “...Kamala Harris picked up a huge endorsement ... from CNBC’s Jim Cramer.”

It is absolutely impossible to write anything amusing about Jim Cramer.

Item 99: The Willie Brown-Stormy Daniels presidential election campaign starts on Monday (you should see how much money they have stashed away in that mattress!)

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i was under the impression he would be doing that rally indoors. am i wrong?

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You might be right, but I didn't see that mentioned in the post I read. And then another thought: How big an indoor space would Butler, PA have to hold such a Trump rally? It isn't like there's a major sports arena located there I would guess. But I've never been to Butler, PA so who knows.

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Excellent round up. So much good stuff. Lab grown testicles for the GOP. Who’d a thunk it? Special needs Barbie dolls. Jewish space lasers finally coming on line. Star Trek versus camel dreck. Seems like a fair fight.

Maybe LeBron James stays in France to choreograph the next trans Olympic opening ceremonies. A man can dream, can’t he?

I’m thinking Kamala could be a placeholder until the convention, but I’m probably wrong. Since Joe Biden has been 86ed, maybe we don’t need Presidents any more. We can just have the CEOs of Netflix, LinkedIn and Hamas run the country from Obama’s Kalorama basement. They can use the Uranian Army - half Ukrainians, half Iranians first defense, and the rest of us can ignore them. Just kidding…

Trump/Vance ‘24

Because it pisses off the blob.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

You’re proof, Don, that competition in a free market benefits all. The boys and girls at Babylon Bee will be having an emergency meeting after they read today’s Items. I predict they’ll be offering you a Bentley soon- to work for them or just go away.

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That is a true statement.

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Yes, it is.

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He's says "yes" and in the mail from the Bee a week later will be a Tonka-size Bentley.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

This just in. Should Heels-up Harris select Mayor Peter Buttplug as her running mate, the campaign will officially be known as "Harri-Butt 2024." (HT to James Woods)

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It was good

It'll be the Big Butt as veep

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It will showcase 2 Biden-fraud selections who are/were both awful at their jobs.

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I hope you don't think they are the only 2.

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they can make "deals" however the pundits "swing"

yea I know.. that's low but look at the material..

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There’s a persistent rumor going around that Buttcheese is not even gay. He’s a closet heterosexual. 😂

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One thing Buttigieg definitely is, is a hardcore Marxist. His father, Joseph Buttigieg was a professor at Notre Dame and an open advocate of Marxism. Joseph Buttigieg also was the biographer of Antonio Gramsci, an Italian Communist who was the leader of the Frankfurt Group of Marxists, which favored the promotion of Communism based on Race division, rather than Class division. When the Frankfurt Marxists felt threatened by Hitler, most of them moved to the United States and entered academia, and have been a source of the current corruption of academia.

Pete Buttigieg has always openly admitted he was very close to his father. Although he comes off polished in important public interviews, in less publicized interviews, he is very cold and does not hide his Marxism.

It is terrible that Pete Buttigieg's name is being tossed around for VP (let alone if they try to draft him for President at the Convention). It needs to be shouted from the rooftops that Pete Buttigieg is a flat-out Communist. He has no business being in any elected office in the United States.

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It’s good for Trump. Buttcheese is a total flop.

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Good. A remake of Tootsie ensues.

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Can hardly believe I’m the only one who likes this one.

I come to Surber (and his fan club) for all the Boomerisms, and arcane references. My favorite yesterday was Andy Rooney. Thinking about him put a smile on my face.

So does ‘Tootsie’. Thx Reed (excuse my familiarity, didn’t want to confuse you with Our Don) (Not to be confused with The Donald).

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Fam is fine! The Andy Rooney item was very good (comedy is very hard).

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Now that is more than funny and about the worse two choices EVER!!!

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Big Mike, passed over, will protest that she has a more abundant supply, "and besides, politically, the ticket should be balanced" (male-female).

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Oh, that is GOOD.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

ITEM 5: The Daily Star reported, “Scientist grows male genitals in lab.”

Finally, hope for the Republican leadership.”

~. Ding ding ding! Winner! Winner! Winner!

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

#24 - “We are not playing around”

I was really pretty surprised to see that this is an actual campaign slogan.

It’s quite revealing, exposing their state of desperation.

It’s also somewhat threatening - a real poke in your eye coming from them.

They have their hopes all bound up in the steal and will manipulate the polling numbers accordingly to make it appear as believable as possible.

They’re going to try to reinvent Kamala into the Second Coming of Barack, which is beyond irony.

The only problem with that is she has to actually speak, which will instantaneously dispel that fantasy completely.

This campaign will be one part hilarity, and two parts terrifying.

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I got popcorn and just ordered more salt.. gonna be a hoot watching 1968 all over

again in August.. glad I fled in '76 for the Army

IF they survive Chicago.. They will go ballistic when God's David wins

stay tuned and order ammo, long term food for the aftermath

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'75 for me. Where was your basic training, may I ask?

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commo.. did basic/AIT at Ft Gordon, GA (Athens)

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Same, Fort Polk LA. I hear Shreveport these days has a crime rate worse than Chicago.

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Perhaps they can deepfake sincerity and humanity for Special K.

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Okay Don, they can grow the GOP a pair. What about a spine?

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One step at a time, OK?

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HOPEFULLY, IT COMES ATTACHED.

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Actually in both cases, attachment would be an issues. It's hard to hold slime down.

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Damn your cold.K.M.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

Don, your best Saturday effort yet. Perfection. Regarding Tucker Carlson and his streaming success, I would just say that at the rate this guy is going, he could very well be Elon Musk 2.0. The two of them will eventually end the MSM. They both have as much influential power as Obama but with one difference, the dynamic duo’s came from building something of value to Americans.

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His past week.

Dr. Ben Carson and Jack Posobiec are a MUST watch

God bless all of them

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Yes! Tucker and Elon's sheer excellence is opening a new era for media in America.

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The common trait: they are fearless.

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💥💥💥

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Tucker, Elon and Trump: The Trifecta.

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The Three Amigos😎

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

re: Today's Poll

Seriously? That's all the Dems have to offer? Then again, they were going with Biden until he short circuited. And moved to default with Harris.

BTW I keep seeing media polls saying Harris is doing well and has tied or closed the gap with DJT in swing states. How is this possible when she has polled worse than Biden in job performance? Some one is throwing a lot of shade is all I can read into these reports.

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Its all fake polling to influence the polling. They got nothing from choosing Harris. Still, vote and vote often.

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Absolutely!

And please sign up to be a poll watcher or worker at:

https://protectthevote.com/about/!!!

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Follow the betting odds polls. If I could remember anything anymore I’d post the names

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Success!!! I remembered why I came into the kitche!

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Boy do I know that scenario!

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Jul 27·edited Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

re: Trump returns to the scene of the Secret Service crime. He should adopt the Henley poem, Invictus, as his credo:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

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I'm not too fond of this, since I've heard this piece, and especially the last 2 lines, chanted as a mantra by a very dubious religious cult -- the Waldorf crowd. Started by a German mystic by the name of Rudolf Steiner, they preach a super-weird mixture of Spiritualism, Darwinism, upside-down or inside-out Christianity, and the magical powers of colors and dance movements by snooty super-liberal women. Adding to the weirdness, one of their prophet's holy books claims that jungle-dwellers cannot learn math until they have gone through a lot more "Evolution" ...

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Is this you or Google?-either way, I'm impressed

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No Google. My first wife was totally into this, which was among the reasons for our divorce. At that time I had collected several booklets by Steiner, their revered prophet, who was constantly spouting nonsense disguised with fancy words: and using those materials I wrote a paper about the Waldorf movement which was disregarded by the judge.

Seen from a wider perspective, the Steiner/Waldorf movement is just one of many spiritual turds circling the septic tank of late-19th century gnostic religious cults, which included Spiritualism, Seventh-Day Adventism, Christian Science, Jehovah's Witnesses ... and I don't know why you could not include some of the non-God religions in that collection too, such as communism, fascism, and environmentalism ... because they have elements also found in religious movements. Examples are doomsday predictions of the end of the Earth unless huge sacrifices are made, the worship of symbols (the swastika, the hammer and sickle, the recyling arrows) along with certain colors, like red in Nazi and Soviet propaganda and green for the environmentalists. Along with those come the urge to suppress other belief systems as heresies, and self-flagellation for sinful behavior ...

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My mantra in HS and college-reflecting, it's kinda sacrilegious. In the real world, I soon found out I was neither the master of my fate, nor the captain of my soul.

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This poem brought me through the darkest years of my life. Now in my eighties I realise more than ever that the choice to turn from evil and humbly accept the gift of life is mine alone.

“There are things I wish I left unsaid, there are things I should have done…”

We cannot bargain our guilt and shame away.

As captain and masters of our lives we make the ultimate decision of our destination

Nothing in the world can ever steer us away from Christ and salvation if we so choose.

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I've heard that tribute to nihilism quoted favorably in church.

Reading is fundamental kidz.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

21: chicken wings will now come with a warning to chew your food before swallowing. (Also alcohol breath tests before being served)

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Back in 2003, there was a civil suit that went all the way up to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court involving a plaintiff who claimed a torn esophagus after consuming a Dorito tortilla chip. Plaintiff claimed the chip was actionably defective because it could be chewed into small, but still hard and pointy pieces. Plaintiff eventually--after eight years of litigation up and down the Pennsylvania court system--lost when the Supreme Court upheld summary judgment granted by the trial judge. (The outcome turned on whether plaintiffs' "expert's" opinion was admissible, eventually determining that it was not.) So it is not a stretch for you to suggest that "chew food before swallowing" is a warning that some judge might require.

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or not to hold hot coffee between your legs?

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Or setting up a ladder on a mound of frozen manure.

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Item 22

Cramer is an idiot.

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quite a few people buy puts against his recommendations and have done well..

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Cramer's main ability is being loud, and not much else.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

My litmus test for any column is, "Do I laugh out loud before I can help myself?"

I just read today's Surber Substack..........Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

.... Nobody else can do that except The Babylon Bee. If hard times fall in Poca, Don, you're a shoo-in as editor-in-chief.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

The only reason any of us know who Pete Buttegeig is is, because he's so awful at his job.

KamalaToe could really pull one outta the closet and choose the hideous Sam Brinton.

KamalaToe's female entourage would quickly complain of missing luggage and Brinton having similar fashion tastes.

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Absolutely. The only secretary of Transportation that anyone remembers his name. For all the wrong reasons.

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Indeed. Incompetence is the major virtue in the Biden administration. That is what they get known for.

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Jul 27Liked by Don Surber

ITEM 24: "I Will Go to the Mattress for You" is the perfect slogan for Heels Up Harris.

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Loved today's Highlights! Agree with everyone who said you are giving Babylon Bee a run for their money!

Absolute favorite item was #28, about Trump going back to Butler, with the link to the British YouTube and the song "I get knocked down, but I get up again" by "Chumbawamba". I never heard of that song or group, but it was wonderful! I watched it twice. Really well done, and loved watching the crowd dancing to it. Just looking at their smiling faces, you could tell they were having alot of fun with it.

This is the real spirit of mankind-- an irrepressible happiness that responds joyfully to an upbeat song.

Remember how the Berlin Wall was brought down by the growing peaceful demonstrations at the Wall every night-- the East German authorities said, "we were prepared for anything but candles and prayers".

Well, this type of song and the spirit embodied in it--and in Trump's return to Butler--shows what will defeat the opponents we face--

A simple happy song and a dancing crowd can break the mesmerism of fear.

Take that, demonic forces.

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