Highlights of the week

ITEM 1: Paul Joseph Watson reported, “Self-proclaimed Reddit Witches are complaining that they are finding it difficult to cast negative spells on Donald Trump because he has ‘some kind of protection around him.’ ”

He does.

Maybe they should go to what Kamala called that rally down the street where folks cry out, “Jesus Is King.”

ITEM 2: Columnist Michael Goodwin of the New York Post was allowed to write, “Pray for Donald Trump to win the 2024 election in a landslide.”

The Lord tipped His hand on July 13. The paper also endorsed Trump. Maybe Murdoch who owns the Post learned.

ITEM 3: Breaking 911 reported, “2 weeks before the election, The Atlantic publishes article saying Trump wanted ‘Generals that Hitler had.’ ”

No he didn’t because they lost the war.

ITEM 4: Trump goofed on Kamala’s claim-without-evidence that she worked her way through college at McDonald’s.

The CDC retaliated and tweeted, “CDC is investigating 49 illnesses in 10 states linked to McDonald’s Quarter Pounder hamburgers. If you ate a Quarter Pounder hamburger from McDonald’s and have severe symptoms of E. coli, contact your healthcare provider.”

75 out of 328,000,000 Americans got tummy-aches. Pfizer is working on a vaccine. The FDA stands ready to call Pepto Bismol horse paste.

ITEM 5: Gallup reported, “No One Trusts Elections Less Than Bulgarians.”

Americans are up to the challenge.

ITEM 6: NYT reported, “Trump Flirts With the Ultimate Tax Cut: No Income Taxes at All.”

Congress taxes cigarettes to stop smoking, booze to stop drinking, and income to stop capitalism.

ITEM 7: Politics UK reported, “Donald Trump has filed a Federal Election Commission complaint against ‘far-left’ Labour helping the Kamala Harris campaign for ‘illegal foreign campaign contributions’ and ‘interference in our elections.’ ”

I thought we settled this in 1776 — and again in 1812. If they want another rematch ass-kicking, that’s OK with me.

ITEM 8: The Times of London asked, “Why is Donald Trump targeting the Amish vote in Pennsylvania?”

Because he watched the movie Witness last weekend.

ITEM 9: Stephen Green reported, “Boeing Explores Sale of Space Business.”

Failed CEOs used to ask for government bailouts. Now they want Musk to save them.

ITEM 10: The Post Millennial tweeted with video, “Stacey Abrams says a lot of black men support Trump but not Kamala because they are sexist and racist.”

White supremacy now is more diverse than your average newspaper staff.

ITEM 11: Ed Morrissey reported, “Dem Senate Candidate Shoots Reporter, Claims ‘Great Day At the Range.’ ”

Is it reporter season already?

ITEM 12: The Daily Mail reported, “Tulsi Gabbard announces she is joining the Republican Party and stuns Trump.”

Stunned Trump? With what? A taser?

ITEM 13: CJR reported, “Mariel Garza, the editorials editor of the Los Angeles Times, resigned on Wednesday after the newspaper’s owner blocked the editorial board’s plans to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris for president.”

Two more editorial writers resigned the next day. How dare the man who owns the paper decide what’s in it!

ITEM 14: Benny Johnson tweeted, “The Washington Post will NOT endorse a political candidate for the first time since the 1980’s.”

That’s one way to have staff quit and reduce expenses.

ITEM 15: AP said, “In rare move, Pentagon denies falsehood about troops allowed to use force during election.”

Because we should always believe the military, comrade.

Unless it is Israel’s.

ITEM 16: The Daily Mail reported, “Kamala Harris’ husband Doug Emhoff slapped me in the face so hard I spun around. I’m disgusted by his fake ‘perfect spouse’ persona.”

This story first broke October 2. No interviewer has asked his wife about this. Maybe a grand jury should ask him about it.

HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSARY TO THIS GREATEST TWEET EVER:

ITEM 17: The New York Post reported, “Sirens are sounding for Sen. Bob Casey’s campaign in Pennsylvania, where the firefighters’ union in deep-blue Philly is ditching the incumbent Democrat and endorsing GOP Senate hopeful Dave McCormick instead.”

Looks like Casey’s gonna be hosed.

ITEM 18: Fox reported, “Voters at Atlanta barbershop not sold on VP Harris’ economic pitch: ‘I don’t need a handout.’ ”

This is why Trump is ahead by a hair.

ITEM 19: The Daily Mail reported, “Michelle Obama campaign enlists drag queens and free prize draws in bid to boost turnout in swing states.”

And she wonders why people call her Michael.

ITEM 20: KGO reported, “A federal jury has sided with fired BART workers who sued the agency claiming they lost their jobs over a covid vaccine mandate.

“There are six of them total in the lawsuit and each will receive more than $1 million.”

Maybe LISA and MAGGIE will help BART pay the jury award.

ITEM 21: The Washington Times reported, “Neiman Marcus drops ‘Christmas’ from gift catalog title.”

That’s it! No more Neiman Marcus for me.

ITEM 22: The American Conservative reported, “Shock Poll: Trump Is Close in New Mexico.”

Make New Mexico Mexican Again is not a good campaign strategy, Kamala.

ITEM 23: Citizen Free Press reported, “Much smaller Waukesha is outpacing Milwaukee in early votes.”

Maybe the families and friends of the 6 people Darrell Brooks Jr. deliberately ran over and killed at their 2021 Christmas parade have not forgotten.

ITEM 24: Raw Story reported, “U.S. Army releases Arlington National Cemetery docs — and redacts pretty much everything.”

Oh no! A president visited a military cemetery at the request of mourners. Obviously that is a felony in New York, worth one count per step.

ITEM 25: NYT reported, “Several thousand North Korean soldiers have arrived in Russia’s western Kursk region, where they are expected to participate in a coming counteroffensive meant to dislodge the Ukrainian troops who have occupied a portion of the region since August, one Ukrainian and two American officials said on Friday.”

Won’t all those medals they wear weigh them down in battle?

ITEM 26: Politico reported, “The Election Is Looming — and These Washingtonians Are Running Scared.”

I don’t blame them. Those Democrat riots after Trump wins will make the Saint George Floyd riots look like a fiery but mostly peaceful protest.

ITEM 27: AP reported, “Some far-left leaders are also irked that Harris has shared the stage in recent days with former House Republican leader Liz Cheney and billionaire businessman Mark Cuban while progressive icons like Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders and New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have been relegated to low-profile roles.”

When you run a campaign like this, what can we expect from your presidency?

ITEM 28: Quartz reported, “3 states that lost the most residents in America — and 3 states that gained the most.”

People aren’t leaving California, New York and Illinois in droves. They are leaving in U-Hauls.

ITEM 29: shaneyyricch tweeted, “YouTube just CENSORED the Joe Rogan interview with Donald Trump after it amassed almost 300k views in 20 minutes.”

X is now bigger than Google. When Google censored my blog, I came here. The bigger they are, the harder they will fall into irrelevancy.

FINALLY, get out the box of Kleenex, courtesy of Salena Zito. Tears are good for your eyes sometimes.