Highlights of the News

Thank goodness Paul Krugman is there to straighten us out

ITEM 1: Paul Krugman wrote, “Biden’s Approval Is Low, Except Compared With Everyone Else’s.”

By everyone else, he meant European leaders. Upon learning the news, Italy’s Giorgia Meloni dropped out of the presidential race.

FJB also is more popular than anal warts, which explains why Krugman dropped out.

ITEM 2: PJ Media reported, “$7.5 Billion Later, Biden Is Up to 7 EV Charging Stations.”

I wish FJB would build me a gas station so I don’t have to drive all the way to the convenience store to fill up. Plus I could use the billion bucks.

ITEM 3: Teslarati reported, “Tesla Supercharger station in Bay Area hit by vandals with every charging cable cut.”

The copper brings you $3 a pound. They are ATMs for the homeless.

ITEM 4: In West Virginia on Tuesday, Red State Republicans selected Patrick Morrisey the AG to be the next governor over Senator Capito’s son, whose first name is his grandfather’s surname.

That’s right, folks. Voters do not want Moore Capito. One is enough.

ITEM 5: Zero Hedge reported, “Trump, Biden Agree To June Presidential Debate On CNN.”

Will they give Biden a drug test beforehand?

ITEM 6: The judge slapped an unconstitutional gag order on the presidential nominee of the opposition party.

Trump brought in Michael Johnson who is two heartbeats from the presidency to speak for him — as well as other Republicans. Check and mate.

ITEM 7: The New York Post reported, “Westchester County prosecutors are giving anti-Israel protesters who were busted during a campus demonstration at SUNY Purchase a choice: Enroll in a crime prevention course or face jail time.”

This is how the county treats all first-time offenders. But making college students attend class somehow is unconstitutional.

ITEM 8: Squad member Ayanna Pressley testified in Congress, “I’m so tired of white men failing up.”

She’s voting for FJB anyway.

ITEM 9: The Wall Street Journal reported, “Inflation Puts More Retirees at Risk of Running Out of Money.”

That’s the plan, Stan. Cutting Social Security is next on their list.

ITEM 10: CNBC reported, “Dow closes lower Thursday after briefly topping 40,000 for first time.”

Someone benefits from inflation.

ITEM 11: The Dakota Scout reported, “The Crow Creek Sioux Tribe in central South Dakota has joined six of the state’s tribes in preventing Gov. Kristi Noem from coming onto their tribal land, leaving the governor just two reservations she can still travel to.”

Her reservations were canceled.

ITEM 12: Kane at Citizen Free Press tweeted with a video that Romney wants Biden to pardon Trump.

Great idea. And next January, President Donald John Trump should return the favor and pardon the last six Democrat presidential nominees. He should pardon Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky perjury, Gore over the Buddhist priest money-laundering scam, Kerry for failing to register as a foreign agent after meeting with Iranian officials in Paris, Obama and Biden for using the FBI to spy on Trump in 2016, and Hillary for selling state secrets to foreigners through her fake charity.

One good deed deserves a half-dozen more.

ITEM 13: Fox reported, “NFL condemns Harrison Butker’s faith-based commencement speech after Chiefs kicker sparks backlash.

“Butker encouraged women graduates to embrace the title of ‘homemaker.’”

Kansas City Chiefs co-owner Tavia Hunt, though, said, “Affirming motherhood and praising your wife, as well as highlighting the sacrifice and dedication it takes to be a mother, is not bigoted.”

Hunt’s team cut Kareem Hunt after he kicked a woman he had pushed to the floor. He played five more years in the league. His career earnings were $18,463,332.

ITEM 14: Attorney General Andrew Bailey tweeted, “My office is demanding accountability after Kansas City doxxed Harrison Butker last night for daring to express his religious beliefs.

“I will enforce the Missouri Human Rights Act to ensure Missourians are not targeted for their free exercise of religion. Stay tuned.”

The doxxer got doxxed, too.

TWEET OF THE WEEK: 9 Quid For 2 Ice Creams.

She is the British version of our daughter.

Actually, the best tweet is this one about a real life Rambo, and a kind deputy who did not write a ticket.

But I really like the moxie of 9 Quid Girl.

ITEM 15: NBC reported, “Wayfair to open its first large store, as physical locations make a comeback.”

Shoplifters can hardly wait.

ITEM 16: CNN reported, “Morehouse College might halt graduation ‘on the spot’ if there are disruptions when President Biden speaks.”

Protesters accept their terms.

ITEM 17: Sports Illustrated unveiled this year’s swimsuit models.

Always be body positive.

ITEM 18: Andy Ngô tweeted, “Texas governor Greg Abbott has granted a full pardon to U.S. Army Sergeant Daniel Perry, who was convicted at trial of murdering an armed BLM rioter in 2020 in Austin. The Texas Board of Pardons and Paroles also recommended restoring Perry’s gun rights.”

Apparently self-defense is not allowed in Austin. Keep Austin weird? California is the place it ought to be.

ITEM 19: Mediate reported, “Michael Cohen Has Been Getting Encouraging Texts From His New ‘BFF’ Rosie O’Donnell During His Trump Trial Testimony.”

Prosecutor Alvin and his chipmunks have enough problems without Butch from the Little Rascals butting in.

ITEM 20: The LA Times reported, “A Riverside County school district has agreed to pay $360,000 to settle a lawsuit from a former teacher who was fired last year after refusing to adhere to policies regarding transgender or gender-nonconforming students, citing her Christian beliefs.”

Why not just call everyone “it”?

ITEM 21: AOC and MTG got into a verbal catfight. The squad member with the best wig and longest fake nails defended the one from the ’Hood in Westchester.

The Ebonics Karen has spoken.

ITEM 22: Zero Hedge reported, “Chief Economic Adviser Refuses To Admit Biden Is Lying About Inflation.”

I wondered whatever happened to Baghdad Bob.

ITEM 23: Business Insider complained, “As Michael Cohen's testimony droned on, the real hush-money show moved outdoors with crude balloons and a Beetlejuice chant.”

Five years ago, BI bragged, “A giant Trump baby blimp that the president says makes him 'feel unwelcome' is following him to London this summer — and could be 5 times as big.”

They make things too easy for me.

ITEM 24: Open Source Intelligence Monitor tweeted, “Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky today Signed a Law on the Mobilization of Convicts, which will allow certain Ukrainian Prisoners to be Conscripted for Military Service in Exchange for a Reduced Prison Sentence; the Ukrainian Ministry of Defense is hoping to Recruit upwards of 15,000 additional Soldiers utilizing this New Policy.”

It’s the Ukrainian remake of The Dirty Dozen.

ITEM 25: ESPN reported, “World No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler was arrested by Louisville Metro Police on Friday morning after trying to drive into the entrance of Valhalla Golf Club, the site of this week’s PGA Championship.

“Traffic outside the golf course had been stopped after a man was struck and killed by a shuttle bus around 5 a.m. ET.”

He was late for work.

ITEM 26: NBC reported, “New Jersey Marine accused of threats to kill white people, commit mass shooting.”

Flashback to 2021, “Biden’s Secretary of Defense Is Moving to Purge the Military of White Supremacists.”

Maybe the problem is — and hear me out — racists of any color.

ITEM 27: FarmingUK reported, “Lancaster University votes to ban meat and dairy at outlets.”

The pudding industry is hardest hit because how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

ITEM 28: WSB reported, “Just over a week after the Georgia Court of Appeals said it would look at the ruling that allowed Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis to remain on the Georgia election interference case, it is allowing the appeal filed by former President Donald Trump to have Willis and her office removed from the case to go ahead.”

The court will hear the case. Eventually. Next year or maybe the year after that. 2029 would be the ideal time.

ITEM 29: Fox reported, “Judge grants de-transitioner's lawsuit against doctors to proceed in court: 'Sufficient' allegations

“Prisha Mosley accused her doctors pushing ‘gender-affirming’ care onto her as a teenager.”

Ambulance chasers finally serve a useful purpose.

ITEM 30: End Wokeness reported, “Dixie Beer, one of the oldest beer brands in the U.S., changed their name in 2020 after George Floyd died.

“New name: Faubourg Brewing Company.

“Now, the company faces mass layoffs and is auctioning off all of its equipment for just $2 million.”

Bud Light feels a little better now.

FINALLY, if the story of my life became a motion picture, there is only one actor I would want to play me. Moses Howard.

Not Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart or any contemporary actor. Their excellence aside, most people have never seen more than a few pictures of their pictures. For the stars on the sidewalks of Hollywood Boulevard, their time comes and goes, and they are replaced by a new generation of equally talented actors, who replace them in the public’s eye.

But the work of Moses Howard — close friends called him Moe — has been seen by millions of Americans over the last 90 years. The Three Stooges have been around for four or five generations now and will be seen by another four or five generations. The Stooges’ work was fast paced and most of all funny. Comedy is one of God’s gift to mankind because it is the best medicine and it also humbles you.

There was always a fourth stooge you never saw. Joe Henrie was the sound effects man who punctuated the action and helped you laugh harder. His sound effects exaggerated the action and assured me as a kid that Moe really wasn’t sawing Curly’s head. That and the lack of blood.

Harry Cohn, the head of Columbia Pictures, cheated Larry Fine and the three Howard brothers (Curly, Moe and Shemp) out of millions of dollars by short-changing them on the money they earned, but Cohn also made it possible for them to live on. And if one of them could come back and play me, it would be Moses Howard.