All hail Haley

Never Trumpville has found its vacuous candidate

Who’s the leader of the club
That’s made for you and I?
N-I-K
K-K-I
H-A-L-E-Y!

Never Trumpers have found their man and surprise, surprise Sergeant Carter, it’s a woman.

CNBC reported, “JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon urged Democrats to support Nikki Haley in the GOP presidential primary, arguing that she offers a strong alternative to former President Donald Trump.”

Dimon said, “If you’re a very liberal Democrat, I urge you to help Nikki Haley, too. Give them a choice on the Republican side that might be better than Trump.”

ABC reported, “A group of self-styled political independents filed paperwork with the FEC this week to launch a new Super PAC aimed at swinging independent voters to support former U.N. ambassador and South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley in her bid to secure the Republican presidential nomination.”

Never Trumpers want Democrats and Independents to vote for her in the Republican primaries to kneecap President Trump and MAGA Republicans in the general election.

That’s good to know. The move reflects how much fear of Trump there is.

I enjoy watching the sputtering campaigns of her competition for the Never Trump blessing and the money that goes with it.

The Hill reported, “Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis criticized former United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley for not showing interest in a proposed debate with him on Fox News.”

He said, “Well, she probably wouldn’t like what the debate would be about. I mean, I think she has taken very, very establishment-oriented positions.”

He’s desperate.

He later said, “I’ll debate any of these folks. I think that’s what it is all about.”

He’s very desperate.

Meanwhile Krispy Kreme Champ Chris Christie told Dana Bash of CNN, “I expect to be in this race through to the convention, Dana. And so yes, absolutely.”

Translation: He won’t make it out of New Hampshire. He should grow a mustache and become the new gotta-make-the-doughnuts guy for Dunkin Donuts if they ever bring that ad campaign back. If Christie were six inches high, he’d make a nice Poppin Fresh. Tee-hee-hee.

After months of hemming and hawing, RINOs have finally settled on Haley, who is Bobby Jindal in three-inch heels. She is safe and smiley and willing to say whatever they want her to say.

There is nothing wrong with being a dummy. Charlie McCarthy was witty and popular back in the day going toe-to-toe with W.C. Fields on the radio. But Charlie had Edgar Bergen pulling his strings as it were. Poor Nikki has Charles Koch.

Brian Schwartz of CNBC reported, “The political network largely financed by billionaire Charles Koch endorsed former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley for president Tuesday, boosting her primary campaign against the Republican front-runner, former President Donald Trump.

“The Haley endorsement by the Koch-backed super PAC Americans for Prosperity Action marks the end of a yearlong search for a viable Republican alternative to challenge Trump.

“Haley ‘has what it takes to lead a policy agenda to take on our nation’s biggest challenges and help ensure our country's best days are ahead,’ the group said in a memo. ‘With the grassroots and data capability we bring to bear in this race, no other organization is better equipped to help her do it.’

“The network has massive resources, and it said it is prepared to deploy them to boost the former South Carolina governor and to challenge Trump’s increasingly tight grip on his party's presidential nominating contest.”

The press release shows just how empty and daft Never Trumpers are. They hailed Haley as ready “to lead a policy agenda” — not how to lead a country.

The press is infatuated with Koch, who was known as the Koch Brothers before his brother David’s death in 2019. But whom have the Koches ever elected president? Certainly not Donald Trump. Nevertheless, when Charles Koch speaks, dummies listen.

CNN reported on January 8, 2016, “GOP kingmaker Charles Koch said he is ‘disappointed’ by the field of 2016 Republican candidates and sharply criticized the rhetoric and policies put forth by front-runners Donald Trump and Ted Cruz.

“Koch, who along with billionaire brother David famously pledged to spend $900 million supporting Republicans in 2016, expressed dissatisfaction with the GOP primary thus far during a lengthy interview with the Financial Times published Friday.”

So the Brothers Koch (pronounced coke not cotch) pledged $900 million but found a way to renege because they did not like the Republican candidates they said they would back.

If pledging an unprecedented amount of money is all it takes to be heard on CNN, then I pledge to donate a trillion dollars. Oh wait, I don’t want to be on CNN. Make that 12 cents and a returnable Pepsi bottle.

Now Koch says he will turn his political factories, such as they are, into the Haley mills. Do they have a means of putting a brain in her?

Two weeks ago, she said, “When I get into office, the first thing we have to do, social media accounts, social media companies, they have to show America their algorithms.

“Let us see why they’re pushing what they’re pushing. The second thing is, every person on social media should be verified, by their name. That’s, first of all, it’s a national security threat. When you do that, all of a sudden, people have to stand by what they say.”

After people pointed out there is a thing called the First Amendment, she backed down.

She said, “I don’t mind anonymous American people having free speech; what I don’t like is anonymous Russians and Chinese and Iranians having free speech.”

Putin, Xi and the ayatollahs thank her for her support.

What a mess. But at least she didn’t use misinformation and disinformation as code words for censorship. I guess that makes her only half a Democrat.

This policy agenda Charles Koch wants Haley to lead is a loser. Social Security is the third rail of politics, a reference to subways that means don’t touch it. Koch wants Republicans to place both hands and both feet on it. Haley is on it. She wants to raise the retirement age.

Democrats would have a field day with that.

Paul Krugman wrote, “Until Covid struck, average life expectancy at 65, the relevant number, was indeed rising. But these gains were concentrated among Americans with relatively high incomes. Less affluent Americans — those who depend most on Social Security — have seen little rise in life expectancy, and in some cases actual declines.

“So anyone invoking rising life expectancy as a reason to delay Social Security benefits is, in effect, saying that aging janitors must keep working (or be cast into extreme poverty) because bankers are living longer.

“How, then, should the Social Security gap be closed? The obvious answer — which happens to be favored by a majority of voters — is to raise more revenue. Remember, America collects less revenue as a percentage of G.D.P. than almost any other advanced economy.”

I got a chuckle out of his farcical notion of life expectancy equity. Does that mean the rich must kill themselves when they hit 70 to even things out? Thank goodness then that I ain’t rich.

But as goofy and as ill-informed as Krugman is, he has a Nobel and an audience. He also outlined the DNC line of attack, which is a pretty good one.

Haley is not much better than him. In 2016, she used her spot as the Republican response to Obama’s State of the Union address to attack Donald Trump.

She said, “During anxious times, it can be tempting to follow the siren call of the angriest voices. We must resist that temptation. No one who is willing to work hard, abide by our laws, and love our traditions should ever feel unwelcome in this country.”

And nearly 8 years later, she collected her reward as the presidential candidate of Never Trumpville, where it is all about cheap labor and the illegal aliens who provide it. If open borders also bring in fentanyl, gang bangers and terrorists, Koch and the rest don’t care because they can afford private security.

What likely cost DeSantis the Never Trumpville endorsement is the Never Trumpvillains are uncomfortable with his willingness to take on social issues. No one wants a puppet who can think.

Plus, maybe the RINOs believe he would have a better chance than her of winning next November.