Meg Nooner, True Conservative

Bill Maher had Peggy Noonan on his show on Friday night and surprisingly the subject of President Trump came up. Maher brought up a reporter’s stupid question about going to the site of the DC crash, which was over the Potomac.

Maher paraphrased Trump’s answer, “And he went, ‘It’s the water. What do you want me to do, swim there?’ And I was like, exactly. F*ck right. You’re exactly right. It’s a stupid question. And you got just the answer you deserve.”

Noonan laughed.

For the first time since the 2016 election, she seemed happy. She seemed comfortable and relaxed. The anger she and Leslie Stahl displayed at a townhall during the campaign was gone. I had forgotten she could laugh. Americans realize a Trump presidency is not the end of the world. Even his harshest opponents know that.

Maybe she can read and laugh at this newsletter I sent on October 29, 2022. New subscribers may like it as well. It tides everyone over until Monday:

Readers have asked when will I write another book. I am toying with the idea of a biography of Meg Nooner, the longtime columnist for the Broad Street Business Mirror. Her insights into national politics have helped shape the Republican Party since its humble beginnings in 1854.

The earliest column I could find was her reaction to Lincoln’s speech at Cooper Union in New York City on February 27, 1860.

She wrote, “Mr. Lincoln was articulate and not as rough hewn as advertised. His speech made many fine points about limiting the expansion of slavery. He did so well that he should thank his speechwriters. I agree with Horace Greeley, who wrote, ‘No man ever made such an impression on his first appeal to a New York audience.’

“But as important as first impressions are, one must look at his rather thin resume. He served one term in Congress and then returned to the woods out West to pursue a legal career. How do we know he won’t run back if the presidency doesn’t suit him? There are no guarantees in life.

“Many people would prefer a more experienced hand. Governor Chase and Senator Seward are far more knowledgeable about the inner workings of government and working with Congress. Both men have served in the Senate and are more likely to convince Southerners to agree to another compromise on slavery.”

I am told her review of the play Our American Cousin was excellent. Unfortunately, her newspaper, the BSBM, published it on April 12, 1865. The newspaper recalled and destroyed all copies of that edition in light of Lincoln’s assassination. Shame. I could have found out how good an actor John Wilkes Booth was.

Nooner’s take on General Grant’s presidential nomination in 1868 went against the grain. She wrote, “General Grant truly was the man who saved the union and won the recent War Among The States. However, we have had generals as president before. Do we want another William Harrison, Zachary Taylor or Franklin Pierce as president?

“General Grant failed remarkably before in civilian life. We need sober leadership but he has been a drunkard in the past. Prohibition cannot come soon enough. Perhaps, we would be better off keeping him in the military while we leave the presidency to someone more experienced and less Caesar-like.”

Eight years later, Nooner wrote about her disappointment with the outcome of the 1876 Republican National Convention, which nominated Rutherford B. Hayes for president over James G. Blaine.

She wrote, “President Grant will be a tough act to follow. For eight years, the nation has had a steady, sober hand in the Oval Office. While I admire Governor Hayes for his service in the Civil War, he seems lost. William A. Wheeler is his running mate, but Gov. Hayes said, ‘I am ashamed to say: who is Wheeler?’

“His wife, Lucy, needs to lighten up because she takes temperance too far. She has become a scold. Imagine serving lemonade and not hard liquor at the White House, a drink that made America great.

“We have had generals as president before. Do we want another William Harrison, Zachary Taylor or Franklin Pierce as president?”

Four years later, Nooner’s reaction to the Republican nomination of James A. Garfield.

She wrote, “President Hayes will be a tough act to follow. The Republican Party’s nominee and lengthy nomination process prove that. On the one hand, Congressmen Garfield is to be admired for standing up for three West Virginia delegates who refused Senator Roscoe Conkling’s demand that all delegates swear blind allegiance to the eventual nominee.

“On the other hand, it took 36 rounds of balloting for the party’s convention to determine that he was the best choice for president. That hardly will instill confidence within the electorate.

“We have had generals as president before. Do we want another William Harrison, Zachary Taylor or Franklin Pierce as president?

“And his selection as vice president of Chester A. Arthur, a member of Conkling’s political machine, should make True Conservatives wonder if the spoils system will ever end. May the Lord have mercy on us if circumstances somehow made him the president.”

Four years later, Nooner wrote, “President Arthur will be a tough act to follow. His Civil Service reform ended the spoils system once and for all. But Republicans scored by nominating James Blaine of Maine. He is a man admired for his honesty and he should easily thump the Democrat nominee, Mayor Grover Cleveland of Buffalo, a man who bought his way out of the draft and abandoned his illegitimate child.”

Four years later, she wrote, “Senator Benjamin Harrison is trying to do what James Blaine was unable to do: defeat the highly popular President Cleveland. True Conservatives are not convinced that the senator can or that his election would be an improvement. After all, President Cleveland has balanced the budget and created a million-dollar surplus.

“Senator Harrison’s main claim to fame is that his grandfather was William Harrison, Old Tippecanoe. In the Civil War, the grandson proved to be worthy of his grandfather in leading volunteers from Indiana to victory in Sherman’s March to the Sea. The 70th Indiana Infantry Regiment acquitted itself well in the Battle of Resaca on May 15, 1864. He led the charge against Confederates in an attempt to seize their four 121-pound Napoleon Cannons. His bravery led to his promotion to commanding the brigade.

“But two decades later, the nation has moved on. Americans find themselves engaged in commerce and expansion out west. His embrace of protective tariffs harms consumers who either pay more for American goods or more for European goods.

“We already had one President Harrison. That’s enough.”

Four years later, she supported President Harrison in the Battle for a Second Term between him and President Cleveland. When the Democrat won, Nooner comforted readers by writing, “In his first term, the economy bubbled and the treasury grew. No doubt, he will rid us of those pesky tariffs. We should enjoy another four years of prosperity when he resumes office on March 4, 1893.”

But in the next election, she wrote, “The Panic of 1893 destroyed many people but it made Governor William McKinley, who was swindled by a business partner and left owing $3 million. The public rallied behind him and paid off his debt. As they say, he is one of us, whoever us may be. He is quite popular among Republicans having campaigned hard for party candidates in the 1894 midterm which saw Republicans gained 110 seats in the House.

“But I do not know. The McKinley Tariff of 1890 still gives me a bad headache.”

Nooner kept lit the torch of the True Conservative cause. In 1900, she was so alarmed by the nomination of Teddy Roosevelt as vice president that she devoted an entire column to him.

She wrote, “Colonel Roosevelt's elevation to the national stage costs Republicans an opportunity to rebuild a great party. His history does not need to be rehearsed at any length. He is hungry, loves politics, and has charm and energy. He enjoys walking onto the stage, waving and delivering the stump speech. All good. But he is not thoughtful. His populism with its attendant spontaneous applause is impolite. A reasonable politician would attract audiences that are disciplined enough to hold back and wait for him to say, ‘Please clap.’”

Eight years later, Nooner wrote, “Teddy Roosevelt will be a tough act to follow, but his War Secretary, William Howard Taft, should do TR proud and have his full support for eight years. Oops, did I say Mr. Taft will serve two terms? Well, a gal can dream.”

Four years later, Taft and Roosevelt split the party and True Conservatism took a hit with the election of Woodrow Wilson and our entry into the Great War. By 1920, Americans wanted a return to normal. Republicans nominated Warren G. Harding.

Nooner wrote, “Senator Harding was an also-ran in the primary elections. When his friend, Governor Frank B. Willis, nominated him, conventioneers laughed. But a backroom deal in a smoke-filled room that night sealed the nomination for him.

“A True Conservative knows that government is no joke. We know that a return to normalcy means securing a person of the character of James Garfield, William McKinley or Teddy Roosevelt. Frankly, we could use a general like U.S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes or Benjamin Harrison about now.

“To be sure, the senator is a clever speaker who is best when saying nothing at great length. As my good friend, H. L. Mencken, said, his speaking ‘reminds me of a string of wet sponges, it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a kind of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abyss ... of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of tosh. It is rumble and bumble. It is balder and dash.’

“A return to normalcy that we all long for is unlikely under Senator Harding. If he is elected, do not expect the 1920s to roar. Expect them to whimper.”

The nation benefited from the wisdom of the woman for decades. Her embrace of a second term for President Hoover in 1932, of Alf Landon in 1936, of Wendell Willkie in 1940 and of Thomas Dewey in 1944 and again in 1948 ensured that True Conservatives ran the Republican Party, which was a good thing because Democrats won the presidency each time. Imagine what would have happened if Senator Joseph I. France were the nominee in 1932? Republicans might have lost 43 states instead of only 42.

But things were different in 1952. Republicans were favored to defeat Adlai Stevenson. Nooner fought hard for the True Conservative in the contest for the nomination.

She wrote, “A nation that survived the Great Depression and a second world war looks forward in this decade to a different party to lead to the peace and prosperity that we both need and deserve. Senator Robert A. Taft — Mr. Republican as he is known in Washington — best fits the void that only a True Conservative can fill.

“Alas, the party’s convention preferred Dwight Eisenhower, a man who joined the party just a months ago. Senator Taft has devoted his life to it. To be sure, Eisenhower had other matters to attend to, such as winning the war in Europe. While many see that as a positive — and it is — the nation needs a True Conservative in the Oval Office again.

“Look, I like Ike. We all do. But do we like his plan to lace the nation with a string of autobahn freeways running coast-to-coast?

“We have had generals as president before. Do we want another William Harrison, Zachary Taylor or Franklin Pierce as president?”

A few years later, Nooner retired from the BSBM after collecting a record 12 Pulitzer Prizes for commentary as well as a buss from Cary Grant in her cameo as herself in His Girl Friday.

But she came out of retirement in 1980 to comment on the nomination of Ronald Reagan. Meg Nooner was at her finest in distilling the True Conservative position on the man who would become the 40th president.

Nooner wrote, “Many people dismiss Governor Reagan as being just an actor. They mock him for his performance in Bedtime for Bonzo, but they miss the point. It is his performance before the House Un-American Activities Committee in October 1947 that should send a chill up the spine of Uncle Sam because Governor Reagan revealed that he sees a communist under every bed.

“His obsession with communism and the Soviet Union is both embarrassing and dangerous. President Ford was quite correct when he said in the presidential debate in 1976, ‘There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe and there never will be under a Ford administration.’

“The Cold War is over. Détente killed it and good riddance. Governor Reagan would revive it as president, which could lead to a nuclear catastrophe. It is too bad that Republicans passed on the best candidate this year, Alexander Haig, because frankly, we could use a general like Ike Eisenhower about now.”

Ah Meg Nooner. Where would the Republican Party be without her?