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John Wiles's avatar

Okay, so I'm over 50 ... ok, maybe 60 ... what? 70? Let me see my birth certificate. Boy, that was a long time ago. We didn't even have cell phones, or interstate highways, and TV was a new invention. Wow, I sure have seen some stuff, and not all of it was bad. In fact, it seems to me a certain kind of people made a lot of good things bad - the ones who loved money, hated good, wanted to get it over on the other guy. There are way too many of them around these days. Thank Heavens for Christ, forgiveness, Christmas, the ability to read, the ability to think, and the ability to choose.

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Don Surber's avatar

If your birth certificate is on parchment, you might be old

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Don Reed's avatar

09/21/25: Mine's on the wall inside of a cave. Xerox copies are very, very tricky to create...

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John Wiles's avatar

Moses said when we got to the other side of the river, things were going to be better. Better parchment, no more brick making.

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Don Reed's avatar

09/21/25: And better bagels!

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Douglas Baringer's avatar

I'm in that same demographic. Yes we have seen some stuff! I remember when grandpa and grandma got a television so they could watch baseball on Sunday afternoon. Simpler times, I think better times.

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Richard White's avatar

My grandmother was a teenager when the Wright brothers flew and died only a couple of years before Apollo 11. That's staggering.

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nikki003's avatar

my Dad 1917-2017.......coincidently last name also White......sure do miss all the stories he had to tell....he told ALOT of them since his mind was a sharp as a tack till the day he died, sure do miss him......

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Wim de Vriend's avatar

Count your blessings, for they are many. Mine was born in 1911 and died in 1970.

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Robert Rivera's avatar

My wife & I are 64 & 65. Just came from a visit to her 87 year old cousin in Charlottesville. He & his wife are sharp as a tack. A little slower each year but active. He fishes & cleans his own, hunts deer & does the same, bee keeping, gardening & canning, grows ginseng & marijuana for medicinal purposes for others & loves his vodka & Canadian Club. We always talk about family history & my wife has quite a few skeletons in her closet. We didn’t get to see her 94 year old cousin who was a lifetime Special Forces member since its inception but we talked about all the places he’s been & things he did. I give these guys credit for putting their lives in harms way in foreign countries. My wife’s family has good DNA. Everyone live to their late 90’s & early 100’s. Diet & lifestyle mean nothing. They, like Trump are nutritional rogues.

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Richard White's avatar

Your wife's cousin is living the life I want. Add ham radio and cooking to it. Right now we have our 8-year-old granddaughter. Wife homeschools her. I pay for her roller skates and lessons, etc. So, maybe in ten years, God willing.

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Robert Rivera's avatar

From your lips to God’s ears Richard, hopefully much sooner!

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Jeremy R's avatar

One of my grandmothers was born in 1893 and lived 101 years. The other in 1883 and lived 93 years. They witnessed America blooming. We get to watch it wither.

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John Wiles's avatar

About the withering, let's hope not and believe not, Jeremy. I want to believe and do believe that my latter days will be better than my former days, and we have had some good former days along with some bad ones. Let's believe light will overcome darkness and good will overcome evil. If enough of us believe in that truth, it will prevail.

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Lawsy0's avatar

Amen, brother John. That has been my prayer since I used to sneak National Geographic into the closet and read it with Daddy's flashlight.

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Jeremy R's avatar

When you went to get a copy of your birth certificate, was it still on papyrus?

The clerks got mad when I asked for two copies, carving limestone is messy.

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VICKI's avatar

Mine (birth certificate: is in hieroglyphics so I know some stuff...or as we tell the grands, "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know" and I say that because all they know is phones, "friend groups" and shopping. Case in point, recently I asked the grand where is Pearl Harbor....crickets. And she goes to some fancy private school...save your money.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Lmao 😂😂😂

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John Wiles's avatar

I had the original laminated. It's yellow and brittle now but still in one piece. Lamination was a new scientific breakthrough and, after I did my hunting license (yes, we had those), I thought it was a good idea to laminate my birth certificate.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Lamination works much better than Saran wrap.

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VICKI's avatar

now that's funny. I LOVE laminating and do anything that is not plastic that I need to have on my person.

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Lawsy0's avatar

Good one!

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Jake's avatar

Two lane highways. Cars backed up behind a slow driver. Driving was pretty dangerous.

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Roy Weintraub's avatar

I remember traveling US 1, between South Carolina and Virginia. A two lane highway with an occasional third, passing lane. The passing lane was dangerous, as they appeared / disappeared and were for both directions. I-95 was well to the east, incomplete, and I-20 wasn't built yet.

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darrell's avatar

Those who stay off of I 95 live to talk about it.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Graveled highways my friend .

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Jeremy R's avatar

They still exist. Was traveling across Nebraska and it was a state highway, gravel and graded. Thought maybe construction? Nope, two years later, still gravel. That was about five years back.

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darrell's avatar

I visited a friend who lives 5 miles from the state capital of Vermont. He met me at Montpelier and we were no more than 2 miles from the capital that the next 3 miles were on a gravel road. Some states don’t pave their roads

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Don Reed's avatar

09/21/25: John was the last man out of Havana in the Spanish-American war. We have photos of him and TR charging up San Juan Hill. See? There's John, on the left, on the escalera mecánica!

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darrell's avatar

My great uncle was in the army in 1912 when they went after Pancho Villa at the Mexican border. They were in the first hard rubber wheel army trucks. Poncho was on a horse so of course he got away.

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Don Reed's avatar

09/21/25: Wheels without paved roads won't do you much good. Rent a tank!

Bill Deedes in "At War With Waugh" described a trip taken from Addis Ababa to the front lines of the war (Italy had invaded Ethiopia) and their truck had to crawl along on what were basically camel tracks.

Excellent book, by the way. And the perfect book to read after the previous book was something you threw in the trash after only 250 or so pages, which is what I'm about to do with Max Frankel's memoir (NY Times).

The Nixon, the Pentagon Papers and Watergate often turned writers into insufferable bores and their prose into sludge.

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Don Reed's avatar

Don Surber: If you have the opportunity, review Max Frankel's "The Times of My Life" (1999). Nothing elaborate. You'd enjoy doing this (my guess).

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Don Reed's avatar

If the book isn't available where you are, let me know and I'll send you one (free!).

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darrell's avatar

I found it on Amazon...thanks

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John Wiles's avatar

What a day that was. I didn't realize I was in the picture, but glad to have been there. That Teddy was one hell of a leader.

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Don Reed's avatar

Up in Cazenovia, NY, existed a B&B on the town lake, where we stayed about 10-15 years ago (it isn't on the Google Map today, so I assume it went out of business). Huge building. Our room, on the third floor, was an informal Teddy Roosevelt library. Literally @ 200 books about the man.

And they parked a huge plastic cow outside of our bedroom door, which we had to maneuver around to get into and out of the room. In a drawing room on the main floor, I heard someone playing beautifully on a piano. Entranced, I went to see who it was. Electronic software was playing the piano; the keys silently dropped and rose at the touch of invisible fingers.

The B&B owner was reading a novel and don't deign to look up and say hello. And then a huge queen bee made it into our room on Sunday morning and it was time to say goodbye to Cazenovia, New York... But we still emphatically recommend the Brewster Inn!

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Cazenovia,+NY+13035/@42.9286195,-75.8738421,14z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m6!3m5!1s0x89d9870a74904d8d:0x34700af3f9cc99d9!8m2!3d42.9300668!4d-75.8526915!16zL20vMDFtZDdj!5m1!1e4?authuser=0&entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI1MDkxNy4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

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James Mead's avatar

I love the week in review

The snark is awesome

And occasionally I see an article I had missed earlier in the week

Thank you Mr. Surber

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Steve Boggs's avatar

We all went thru that phase. Welcome aboard.

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tzed's avatar

Item 13: As Bill Clinton said, put a little ICE on that.-Classic Don Surber

Item 16: The Daily Kos is still around?

The best senior discount: Lifetime National Parks pass.

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marbucks's avatar

Agree! Maybe all ages should be encouraged to see our beautiful country.

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Lawsy0's avatar

Dittos on that. Y'wanna hear me sing the Dinah Shore classic, "See the USA in Your Chevrolet?" She and my Mom went to the same high school in downtown Nashville. Mama used bus tokens, Fannie Rose Shore (Dinah) probably was driven by their family chauffeur.

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marbucks's avatar

Why would anyone change their name from Fannie Rose? (I’m the proud great-granddaughter of Fanny Holder.)

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Lawsy0's avatar

Miss Shore was from a Jewish family; most people honor a grand parent or other relative by "recycling" the name of a beloved ancestor.

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marbucks's avatar

I’m glad that name didn’t get recycled to me.

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VICKI's avatar

Ahh I can hear Dinah singing it now.

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BH's avatar

I couldn’t agree more regarding the National Park Pass.

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Richard White's avatar

Kos is the Hungarian word for dirt. Coincidence?

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PM's avatar

#13=Juanita smiled.

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Sheila Barkofske's avatar

I did not know that. Thanks 🙏

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nikki003's avatar

yep...got that for free when it first came out..... :)

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tzed's avatar

Cost us $10. Still a bargain.

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VICKI's avatar

YES! the best I think actually it's free isn't it?

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tzed's avatar

When my wife and I bought ours it was $10 each. Now it’s $80. Still a bargain if you ask me.

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Playswithneedles's avatar

The poll - I’m almost 73 and somehow I always seem to forget about senior discounts. My favorite local supermarket offers a senior discount one day a week and I can never remember to go on that day. But I can quote something that Rush Limbaugh said 25 years ago. Priorities, priorities.

Great list of updates, Don. Thanks! My favorite is the video of ICE dumping that demonicrat creature on her arse. She’s going to be butthurt for a couple of weeks. Well deserved.

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Steve Boggs's avatar

I make the cashiers eyes roll by saying, “I know I don’t look it, but ….”

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Playswithneedles's avatar

Love it! I DO look it - got my first gray hairs at age 17, so you can imagine what it looks like now.

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Steve Boggs's avatar

In my imagination, Plays, you don’t look a day over 49, and with the most amazing tattoos.

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Playswithneedles's avatar

LOL! I actually do have a tattoo. In 2016 I took my then 27 year old daughter with me on a business trip to Australia and New Zealand. On our very last day, we both got tattoos. Mine is a small Kiwi Bird on the inside of my right wrist. It’s my souvenir of an amazing month long trip with her.

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Subvet's avatar

This submarine sailor, regardless how many beers were consumed, never got a tattoo. I also remember sneaking in the side show tent to see the tattooed lady.

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Playswithneedles's avatar

My husband was in the Marine Corps and never got one either.

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Jeremy R's avatar

I was Army, but same thing, no ink

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VICKI's avatar

my husband has a propeller with USAF on his upper arm...what does that tell you?

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VICKI's avatar

and he is mega conservative and always wears shirts with long sleeves, lol.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Niiiiice ?? LOL

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VICKI's avatar

After covid I decided to let my dyed hair grow out to see what color it was. Yep, white as snow and I've kept it. The bad news is people treat me like a little old lady and good news is handsome men offer me their arms to go down stairs, etc., Sweet.

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Playswithneedles's avatar

Good for you! I can’t imagine why women like Pelosi, Feinstein and Boxer think/thought that having a full head of dark brown hair at age 80 fooled anyone. It just looks absurd.

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Jeremy R's avatar

If you were dating the love of your life back then, you can always credit them to him as a sign of your love.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

When I give my birthday I say AD after it. Just so they know. 😂😂😂

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

Or “be patient I was born in the nineteen hundreds.” (Folks on this thread should go out for coffee.)

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VICKI's avatar

Laugh out loud...I will use that!!!

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

PWN: Just ask every time. I got haircuts, tree removal, window replacement, a hotel room! Before you hand over the card or cash, just say, "do you give seniors discounts?" You'll be surprised pleasantly. The worst is they can just say, unfortunately, no. (I think some do it out of guilt over prices, but, whatever ;-> )

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Playswithneedles's avatar

Thanks, I’m staying in a hotel tomorrow night so I’ll try to

Remember that!

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VICKI's avatar

Cash often will get you a discount instead of credit cards. There's a gas station near me that also does that.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Ah c’mon. I’ll bet you still get carded. 😂👍🍷

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Playswithneedles's avatar

In Virginia, they are forced to card everyone. And when you give them your license, they scan it. So the state knows exactly how much booze you buy. One more invasion of privacy.

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

MN too! I asked the clerk “why?” and he said “State requires it.” And I asked “why?” He shrugged.

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Tmitsss's avatar

19: A top prosecutor has resigned after refusing to press charges against some of President Donald Trump’s political foes, new reports reveal.

Erik Siebert, the U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, submitted his resignation on Friday. Shortly beforehand, Trump told reporters he wanted Siebert “out” because he learned that Virginia’s Democratic senators supported his nomination earlier this year.

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tj's avatar

plus he said both James' mortgage fraud and Comey's case were weak. They have James putting her DAD down as a spouse on one of the mortgage papers. That is fraud plain and simple.

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William Coulter's avatar

Item 18

Why would anyone be interested in what Don Lemon says or thinks?

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marbucks's avatar

Well, it would be enjoyable to see him squirm.

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Robert Brusca's avatar

Juice not worth the squeeze??

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

lol

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marbucks's avatar

You’re probably right

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Subvet's avatar

Who is Don Lemon?

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VICKI's avatar

a nobody...

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

CNN used the Lemon Law to get rid of Don.

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VICKI's avatar

I don't know how to do the laugh emoji but imagine it here, that's hilarious.

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Jake's avatar

They're the same ones who care what Rosie O'Donnel thinks over in Ireland. The worst thing about the internet is seeing all these crackpots and their goofy opinions.

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Michael Davis's avatar

Lemon's best bet is one of those organs you grind on the street and a pet monkey with a tin cup.

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Jeremy R's avatar

I'm sure an organ grinder can find a real monkey instead.

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Playswithneedles's avatar

Does zee minkey have a leesaunce?

Let me know if you get the reference. Hint - PeterSellers.

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Lawsy0's avatar

Inspector Clouseau? Wild guess.

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Playswithneedles's avatar

Nailed it! Well done!

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CactusMatt32's avatar

Doez your dawg bite?……That’s not my dowg…..

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

GMTA !!

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CactusMatt32's avatar

Doesn’t meet the definition of ‘think’….How did Billie Eilish put it? Or was it that French dude Descarte?

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Robert Brusca's avatar

His bro. Night cart

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Brian LeMay's avatar

Not me , well until Don mentioned the black hole issue . I want to hear him take a stab at that , I'll give him a minute before tuning out !

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Wim de Vriend's avatar

Certainly not for informational purposes. Purely for entertainment.

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VICKI's avatar

lemon is a good name for him.

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Lawsy0's avatar

His mama, most likely and his daddy if he knows who that was. (Meow: haven't had my kibble today.)

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 2. The downside of getting a pardon was you had to also agree to take one of Hunter’s paintings home with you.

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Marilyn Brinley's avatar

So glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee when I read that!

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Lmao 😂👍☕️☕️☕️☕️

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Lawsy0's avatar

I would just have to pass on a Hunter freebie. LOL Mugly, fugly and ugly.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Lmao 😂😂😂

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revmaddog1948's avatar

I was in the bedroom but I laughed so lovely I'm sure my neighbors heard. Good one Vince.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Thanks 😂👍🍷

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Jeremy R's avatar

But does it look good on your wall?

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tj's avatar

Bet it makes the wall look fat......

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Fine meme to finish the week in re jimmy the braying jackass kimmel. I must have missed the time someone told him he was a real comedian. The Illinois democrat wahhnnabe who landed on her keister was funnier than he ever was and I.C.E. rolled anyway. Now actually charge the arrestees with felonies,[ actions have consequences ? ] as no one is above the law.

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BH's avatar

It had to have been his mother who told him.

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BH's avatar

I stopped into a DQ last week to treat myself. I pulled out the necessary $$. The clerk gave me the total, less than what I’d figured. I was a bit surprised, then he said “if you’ve been around the sun enough times we’ll give you 10% off😃” I was not insulted in the least, and pleased he offered. He was so nice about it.

Live life with curiosity, gratitude and humility, and take those discounts wherever they show up!

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Subvet's avatar

Senior discount every Wednesday at the local lunch counter. The place is packed with bald men and blue haired women.

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

The last ones who can make eye contact and talk to each other without a phone in their hands...

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Joe LaGreca's avatar

Weird poll. After I was well over 65 (and I looked it), I was buying a 12-pack of beer along with other groceries at a local supermarket. The young clerk first I mentioned that today was senior discount day and when she got to the beer she asked to see my driver's license. I laughed my ass off.

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BH's avatar

But did you get the discount on the beer??

Last week I quizzed the lady at Sam’s about this I.D. checking business. She said they are required by the state (all on camera, of course), but especially to check for expired driver’s licenses. This had never occurred to me.

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Jake's avatar

Might make a good law for voting too. Wonder why we just can't quite get that done??

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Joe LaGreca's avatar

That would make it more difficult for DEM's to cheat.

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steph_gray's avatar

They need to be running the local polls!

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Wim de Vriend's avatar

Does that mean they report the expired ones to the state DMV? I'd never heard of this before.

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Lawsy0's avatar

A kindly bank teller mentioned that my DL was out of date. I was so appreciative of her noticing it that I immediately drove 20 miles to the little satellite police station where they fixed me up with a new license in about 58 minutes. Clerk apologized that I had to take the written test, but it was on-line in a tiny little booth that snapped your photo as soon as you clicked you credit card and hit SEND. Ugliest photo ever. But it is legit.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Quite interesting BH.

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Joe LaGreca's avatar

That never occurred to me. Also, in NY they do not allow teenagers to check ID's for liquor purchases - they have to call over an older worker to check. What I find odd is that when I make a purchase in a liquor store they never ask for ID - only in food stores.

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Subvet's avatar

In Georgia they are supposed to card everyone regardless of age. One day the check out gut didn't and I asked. He told me it was discretionary thing. I'm glad I finally look like I'm 21. 👍

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Mike Smyth's avatar

A young checker at a Safeway said she was making too many mistakes, so she was required to check ID.

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Retirednottired's avatar

I occasionally buy OTC meds with dextromethophan for my allergies, and of course, it is a controlled substance which requires that you be over 18 (because really, nobody under 18 would want to buy meth precursors). Recently, I went through the self-check line , and the kid came shuffling up to ask for my ID. He said, without looking up, “I need to see your….” Looked up at me and said “Never mind,” and keyed in a date some 50 years old. I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or insulted.

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Douglas Baringer's avatar

Strange dichotomy.

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Catherine Kasparian's avatar

#22,#23 track back to Obama approving trans surgeries and drugs instead of treating the dysphoria as a mental illness and the imposed isolation of our kids during COVID

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Suzie's avatar

In Minnesota it is literally against the law for any medical practitioner or mental health professional to counsel a child experiencing gender dysphoria against transitioning - affirmation only! Same state as the seriously troubled trans Robert Westman who shot two kids and injured others at that church took place.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Right up until the Muslims outlaw trannies. MN will submit to that.

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tj's avatar

I am sure that is coming. They are already telling the Christians to get out, they are not welcome. Oh wait, that is Michigan. Hey can we trade MN and MI to Canada?

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

correction, not "shot", rather, murdered two children at Mass.

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RevMikeyMac's avatar

Just like homosexuality in previous generations (think early 1970's).

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Robert Brusca's avatar

No

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Robert Brusca's avatar

OOooohhhhhhhhBama. Yo- mama

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 1. I was worried when I saw Trump surrounded by Redcoats.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 1. It’s just a matter of time before King CIII announces the new trade deal includes Trump Windsor Castle Resort.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

OUCH!!

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Vince Gallo's avatar

It was the King’s idea 😂😂😂

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steph_gray's avatar

So true. They really need the money.

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Suzie's avatar

ITEM 1: King Charles received President Trump the guest of honor at a state dinner in Windsor Castle, England.

It was nice of Trump to visit a Muslim country.”

Meanwhile, down the road a piece from all the festivities, a smug, self-aggrandizing, and stunningly ignorant group of the usual celebrities and “stars” held a 4 hour protest-concert to “Free Palestine”, deploring Israel for daring to protect itself from the very same group of people who’ve been pouring into Britain itself, and are now going full steam ahead in the process of turning it into a new, nuclear powered Muslim stronghold.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the poster card for suicidal empathy.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

All those crusades down the drain. I guess Vlad the Impaler didnt spike enough of them. Ah the good old days. lol 😂👍👍👍😂😂😂😂

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

The Brits learned from the French Suzie.

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John H Fowler's avatar

Another good column Don!

Item 23, I wish we could go back to the days when my "tranny control" was a Hurst Shifter!

As for age, Thursday night as I sat with my wife pondering the good news that our fourth great grandchild had arrived in good condition safely, and that 3 of our 5 children were now grandparents, just how blessed we are just to be here.

You keep scribbling and I'll keep reading.... John

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 6. How are we going to know who the jihadis are without their beards??

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Mike Smyth's avatar

The Amish will use their buggies to roar into battle.

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Wim de Vriend's avatar

Unlikely, since they're pacifists.

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steph_gray's avatar

Maybe by the way they squawk as the razor approaches….?

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