174 Comments
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Tmitsss's avatar

Item 22: If Puerto Rico doesn’t work out for Lopez, she can try New Mexico.

Forbes's avatar

Or maybe the Virgin Islands (U.S.)??

Jeremy R's avatar

I was told they need to be renamed since a couple of Marines visited.

Denton Salle's avatar

Or Guam. Just warn her it might tip over.

Wim de Vriend's avatar

Has she gained a lot lately?

Denton Salle's avatar

No, but it's a small island. One more person might be too much.

Wim de Vriend's avatar

Sort of like the drop that made the bucket overflow, except in reverse. Hey, maybe we can get Hank Johnson to warn her about that.

Jeremy R's avatar

Ask her if she likes tea, then suggest New England.

Jason Leonard's avatar

Hey, I live in NM.

Screw you. Yes, there is open, boring and repetitive landscape.

Still not enough room for that monstrous ego and larger ass.

Tmitsss's avatar

As a citizen of New Mexico have you not heard stories of people being unaware that New Mexico is part of the United States, just as Lopez appears to not know Puerto Rico is part of the US. I live no where near your state but I have heard such stories for years, such as rental car employees refusing to accept a New Mexico Drivers License, because they don’t rent to foreigners? I am sorry this joke went over your head. I did once help a client get a Real ID. He was born in New Mexico. When he was young his family moved to California and the California schools anglicized Guillermo to Willam and he went by William for most of his life, but his birth Certificate still listed his birth name and we had to officially change his name. The kicker of that was that Bill was Jewish and his ancestors had come to the New World from Spain to escape the Inquisition and had lived in what is now NM since before there was a USA.

telephoneman's avatar

has she enough money to haul the trash away from the front of her new house?

Steve Boggs's avatar

Item 21: re: compression socks for Trump

More evidence of his genius and foresight: dancing the YMCA doesn’t require lower body movement

He’s always thinking 3 moves ahead

Joe LaGreca's avatar

I have quite a few compression socks - regular ones, open toe, zipper - in different sizes. I wouldn't send any to him as he can get injured trying to put those things on. I'm his age & it's a real struggle trying to get them on. Stopped using them - gave them to my wife, but haven't seen her try them yet. Wife insists that I wear them when we're flying on vacation.

Irunthis1's avatar

They generally require a different technique to apply to the foot and, if strong enough, a fair amount of dexterity and hand strength. Perhaps try a milder compression? A stronger one might be needed but I’m of the opinion they do a body no good in the drawer and even the mild compression socks provide benefit. I never work without them but I stand on concrete for ten hours a night. Also getting the correct size is important and if too difficult a size up may be in order. They make tools to help put them on as well. God bless.

Joe LaGreca's avatar

Thanks - I've tried some of ideas you mentioned - milder compression, larger size.

I think I'm out of shape & get strains very easily, The larger sizes are bigger in the toe area & go up past the knee. More difficult to deal with these socks in warm weather. I'll have to wear them on our vacation flight next month to be on the safe side.

Estelle Chisholm's avatar

I found that putting a sandwich bag on the toes pulling the sock on is so much easier as the sock will slide on. Now the tough part!🙄

Jeremy R's avatar

A good friend has experienced foot pain for many years. He's been to nearly every specialist in the region, but to no avail.

About two years ago he was in a meeting with an elderly doctor and mentioned it. That physician asked about his choice of socks, then told him to try very loose ones and whenever possible, wear sandals. Foot pain gone in two weeks.

He mentioned it to me because he knew I had the same issue. I don't like sandals, but since switching socks, my endurance on feet has returned the levels of my youth.

Ross's avatar

I’m 83.

I walk a minimum of 10,000 steps a day with our dog. I started to get swollen ankles last year, in the evenings.

I replaced my tighter fitting shoes and socks with looser ones.

It seems to have worked.

I further note that I dislike any public transport as I do not like being cooped up with lots of strangers for hours on end

I travel by car or truck. That way I can stop and walk around every so often when I need to stretch, get fresh air and walk around.

Joe LaGreca's avatar

I also prefer loose socks. I'm not diabetic, but I tried the socks for diabetics & they were comfortable - my wife gave me hell last time I wore them on a plane. Sandals & Flip-Flops are OK for the beach, but I don't dare drive with them - also have to be careful going down stairs.

Jeremy R's avatar

I hate sandals but will go barefoot even in this briar patch I live in.

NNTX's avatar

Try flip flops. I live in them for most of the (extended) summer months.

Inexpensive and guys can get nice ones with leather bottoms.

Bob Huddleston's avatar

All true. Do wear them on the plane, especially overseas flights. Literally a pain to live with, but I manage at least 5 days per week. Houdini would have trouble getting compression socks on/off! [Even worse with limited knee ROM due to scar tissue after knee replacement]

Playswithneedles's avatar

#27 - from the illustration, “Secret CIA assessment says Russia was trying to help Trump win White House”

Anyone who believed that hasn’t got a lick of logic. Why would Putin want Trump to win? He had nothing on Trump and knew that a billionaire was unlikely to be for sale. Hillary, on the other hand…

Vince Gallo's avatar

At this rate it’s going to be the Trump Presidential City.

Don Reed's avatar

07/19/25: Think big! Gulf of Mexico = Gulf of America! --- New York City = New Trump City!

Vince Gallo's avatar

Now I know why Trump wants to make Canada the 51st state.

Don Reed's avatar

07/19/25: Minus the Indians (Ottawa) and the Chinese (Vancover). Many Canadians have posted warnings about letting the Trojan Horse into the U.S. Annex the interior oil-rich western states only and watch the rest of it die on the vine.

Lawsy0's avatar

I can think of only one drawback; Niagara Falls seems to be in trouble after all these centuries. What would the upkeep be on such a Wonder of the World?

DeniseVB's avatar

I <3 NTC ! Yeah, I'd buy that shirt :)

Don Reed's avatar

07/19/25: In a year's time, Colbert will be on the corner of Broadway and 49th Street, near his old studio, hawking them.

Shoveltusker's avatar

ITEM 15: On her podcast, Michelle Obama said, “There hasn’t been one moment in our marriage where I have thought about quitting on my man.”

Not even when she found out that he cruised for gay sex partners from a limo in Chicago, while smoking crack, and also hooked up with men in sleazy hotel rooms?

Why, it's almost as if it's a loveless marriage predicated on power, privilege, and wealth.

DeniseVB's avatar

Obama dated white women in his formative years, it was his preference, not that there's anything wrong with that, it was Valerie Jarrett who introduced him to Michelle, for his political career you know.

Jeremy R's avatar

I thought it was Hans Solo that introduced them. Barry is lucky it hasn't chewed his face

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 7. I’ll settle this. Turn it over if it doesn’t say Made on Mars…it’s fake.

Don Surber's avatar

Tariff

Only buy American rocks

David Thompson's avatar

These days it would say: "Assembled into Mars from universally sourced components." or other such weasel language.

Suzie's avatar

Additional Poll choice suggestion:

This was Trump's best week since . . .

• Last week

Subvet's avatar

I was looking for that answer too.

Lawsy0's avatar

Dang it, I had to read your response twice before I got it. Heartily agree.

DeniseVB's avatar

I was eager to read more about the "Carney Liberals" only to find out it's not a political group of carnival barkers. I would join that.

For you youngins, after you turn 70 your ankles tend to swell, buy a recliner chair and put it in front of a big flat screen and watch sports and nap as God intended us to do after 70. Mr. President is the most active septuagenarian on earth which proves exercise is futile at our age. At least that's what I'm telling myself :) President Trump's idea of relaxing is 18-36 holes of golf on the weekends.

I love the idea Trump is donating his winnings (NEVER bet against the Trump) to his library. I hope it is the Taj Mahal, Elon could buy it for him as a make-up gift. Speaking of Presidential Libraries, will Obama ever finish his fugly one in Chicago before he goes to prison?

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5164b16ae4b0cac6e79b081f/41f6303a-eca1-400a-a653-a9ef471398b2/Obama+Presidential+Library-20240804-DSC02506.jpg

It has been a great week for all of us. I didn't realize cutting Colbert's unfunny mess of a show would be the bonus "winning!" prize of the week. I love comedy, but he was no comedian, just a mean spirted dweeb who misused his bully platform. I might have liked him years ago on The Daily Show, but I was a Democrat then and liked a lot of things that were bad for me. That's why I left the party in 2008 when they ran another mean spirited dweeb with no personal or professional accomplishments and was told "YOU MUST BELIEVE". History will not be kind to Obama. Rod Blagojevich has been vindicated (at least he has the glees over on X)

Subvet's avatar

Check out Shane Gillis at the ESPYs if you want some good old fashioned humor.

Don Surber's avatar

I tried so hard to work that in.

Wim de Vriend's avatar

You just didn't understand. To BELIEVE you should have had HOPE. For CHANGE in the candidate.

Lawsy0's avatar

I know you didn't mean to make be choke on the "fugly" comment. I thought that was my own secret compound word. I learned a new designation for (fugly, bugly, mugly): it is portmanteau. That sounds so sophisticated. Short term memory lapses will cure me of trying to think of it. Chicago is as good a place as any for the Obamastrosity.

DeniseVB's avatar

I've used "fugly" for years, a more polite term for "f**king ugly". Usually applied to ladies of The View when they make their Hate Faces.

Lawsy0's avatar

"You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din" because you can abide watching those water buffaloes wallow around than I can.

jimok's avatar

Item 9 Trump should replace those 17 immigration judges with 17 auto-pens. That will take care of the 3.5mil back log of cases very quickly.

Tmitsss's avatar

Item 14 links to Yahoo News.

yahoo

noun

One of a race of filthy brutes in Swift's “Gulliver's Travels.” See in the Dictionary of Noted Names in Fiction.

Hence, any brutish or vicious character.

A raw countryman; a lout; a greenhorn.

Don Surber's avatar

It's an AP story

Tmitsss's avatar

Yes it is and it saddens me that government schools are producing graduates who know so little history that they would illustrate this story with a picture of the National Guard at Little Rock. I clicked through because I just could not believe it.

BubblePuppy7's avatar

Not to be confused with Yoo-hoo, an American brand of chocolate-flavored beverage that was created by Natale Olivieri in Garfield, New Jersey, in 1928.

tzed's avatar

…and endorsed by a real America hero…Yogi Berra.

Joe LaGreca's avatar

Or Yo-Ho (saw that on a T-Shirt in West Palm Beach)

Don Reed's avatar

07/19/25: One of the all-time obscene "invented" corporate names.

PM's avatar

'CBS CANCELS ‘THE LATE SHOW,’ STEPHEN COLBERT TO END PROGRAM IN MAY 2026' I thought it was this week-another year to lose $40,000,000. Whatever happened to 'when you're dead, lie down?

Ken H's avatar

Colbert came on the local station right after the local news. I have been cancelling him every night with the off switch for years. Mainly disappointed that he won't be gone completely until May.

PM's avatar

Nice to see someone else who will never spell cancelling w/one 'l'.

Cheech's avatar

Missing poll response: ..." since last week ".

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 27. I take it that Obama Comey Crapper Brennan and Company are among the half million exiting the US this year.

Subvet's avatar

I heard Kenya has a hut that is part of the Obama family holdings.

Jeremy R's avatar

I still say send him to Indonesia so he can hear, five times a day, what he called lovely, the satanic call to prey.

Wim de Vriend's avatar

Ah, finally some evidence for the authenticity of "Roots".

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 24. Now that’s what I call a twofer. Kids get to eat safe Fruit Loops and keep their sex without fear.

Now what to do about the Fruit Loops mutilating these children.

Wood Chippers come to mind.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 20. And Trump is going to use that $2 billion from WSJ to build his Presidential Library and Hockey Rink in the 51st state.

Next week his numbers will jump to 100%+.

PM's avatar

Party like it’s 1984: The joke is getting old, but it is still worth repeating: George Orwell's 1984 was not intended to be an instruction manual. But somehow it is. Freedom is slavery, illegals are "law-abiding," riots are "mostly peaceful," censorship is truth-preserving, and the state should run the media.