Highlights of the week

ITEM 1: Aviation Week reported, “Suppliers Think Pope Will Be Next Boeing CEO.”

Makes sense. Only divine intervention can save it now.

ITEM 2: Christina Peterson got drunk and punched a cop last weekend, which quickly made her the ex-highest paid judge in Georgia.

But at least she has a title for a cool country song: The Vodka That Made Grey Goose Famous Made An Ex-Judge Outa Me.

ITEM 3: Zero Hedge reported, “46% of EV owners surveyed in the United States say they will likely return to driving gas-powered vehicles.”

The other 54% plan to switch to horse-drawn carriages.

ITEM 4: AL.com reported, “9 shot, 4 others injured when more than 362 rounds fired at Montgomery party.”

This reminds me of the old joke, who put the last 6 bullets in Mussolini?

1,000 Italian sharpshooters.

ITEM 5: Business Insider reported, “Astronauts from Boeing’s Starliner were supposed to be in space for 8 days. Now they’re stuck there with no scheduled return date.”

Gilligan’s Island meets Lost in Space.

Maybe Elon Musk can send a starship to bring them home.

ITEM 6: Politico reported, “Dems freak out over Biden’s debate performance: ‘Biden is toast.’”

He puts the Dem in dementia.

How bad was it? Trump decided not to reveal his veep pick because he did not want to distract attention from the 88-car collision.

That said, it ain’t over until November 5.

ITEM 7: The Daily Mail reported, “Hooters has abruptly shuttered 40 locations — as restaurant crisis deepens.”

Cutting back to A cups to save money didn’t work.

ITEM 8: Prosecutors released a picture of the papers they confiscated in their raid on President Trump’s home.

The papers include a letter on a presidential stationery (which they redacted), a note on presidential stationery (which they also redacted) and an unredacted front page of the Washington Post.

Thank goodness my readers no longer subscribe to newspapers or they, too, could be arrested in the B.R.A. — Banana Republic of America.

ITEM 9: Deadline reported, “Original Blade star Wesley Snipes might be poking fun at the delay of [Disney-owned] Marvel Studios’ reboot of the vampire slayer franchise, however, for Mia Goth, who stars in the upcoming version, good things come to those who wait.”

A Goth in a vampire movie. How cliché.

By the way, does Disney make any movies anymore with the intention of making a profit or are they all just woke tax write-offs?

ITEM 10: Science Alert reported, “Garlic Could Be a Secret Weapon to Keep Down Your Glucose And Cholesterol.”

Not to mention a way to ward off vampires.

I think the study was funded by the National Garlic Association.

ITEM 11: Axios cheered, “16 Nobel economists see a Trump inflation bomb.”

And 51 former heads of U.S. intelligence agencies said Hunter’s laptop was Russian propaganda.

TWEET OF THE WEEK: From Clinton:

A rookie Secret Service agent was assigned to Donald Trump, and on his first day of security detail he was leading the president past a crowd when he saw a man reaching into his jacket and pulling out a pistol. He grabbed Trump by the shoulders and yelled out, “MICKEY MOUSE!”

The assassin was so confused by this outburst that he hesitated for a few seconds, giving the rest of the security detail time to rush in and arrest him.

The new agent was then taken back to HQ for debriefing. His superior shook his hand and said, “That was amazing work out there, very quick thinking, but I have to ask, what made you think of saying Mickey Mouse?”

Embarrassed, the agent looked around, making sure nobody else could see or hear him.

“To tell you the truth sir, I got a little nervous in the heat of the moment and misspoke. I meant to say ‘Donald, duck!’”

ITEM 12: Pink News whined, “Right-wingers are now raging at a farm supply store — because they have LGBTQ+ staff initiatives.”

The store is Tractor Supply, which has 2,200 outlets nationwide and 37,500 employees. Its stock fell 10% this week.

Note to John Deere: Stick to green and yellow. Leave the rainbows to Skittles.

ITEM 13: On June 3, Colorado Politics reported, “Lauren Boebert lags challenger Ike McCorkle by double digits, Democrat’s internal poll shows.”

On Tuesday she won her primary by 29 points. Ike lost his, once again proving the only Pole that counts is Copernicus.

ITEM 14: Voters in New York pulled the fire alarm on Congressman Jamaal Bowman, who lost his primary by 17 points.

AOC took the news as you may have expected.

ITEM 15: Breitbart reported, “30-Year-Old San Francisco McDonald’s Closes Due to $20 Minimum Wage.”

Congratulations to all its workers, who no longer work for minimum wage.

ITEM 16: CNN reported, “Kenyan President William Ruto denounced protests on Tuesday that saw parliament stormed and at least five people shot dead as treasonous — but did not address the swelling outrage against a controversial finance bill that sparked the widespread demonstrations.”

One of the people teargassed was Obama’s sister. So is it an Insurrection or a Fiery But Mostly Peaceful Protest?

ITEM 17: Zero Hedge reported, “Surgeon-General Declares Firearm Violence Is An Urgent Public Health Crisis.”

I agree. Let’s put warnings on all rappers and anyone with gang tattoos.

ITEM 18: The Independent reported:

Jerry Seinfeld delivered a stinging rebuke to a group of pro-Palestinian supporters who disrupted his stand-up show in Melbourne, Australia, joking: “I think you need to go back and tell whoever is running your organization, ‘We just gave more money to a Jew.’”

From the river to the sea, more Seinfeld comedy.

ITEM 19: Al Jazeera reported, “WikiLeaks’s Julian Assange declared ‘free man’ in Saipan after U.S. plea deal.”

Assange’s threat to national security was posting DNC emails that showed the fix was in for Hillary’s nomination in 2016. Well, at least he’s still alive, unlike Seth Rich.

ITEM 20: The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported, “Former Chattanooga police chief indicted for forgery, perjury and more.”

Another First Black Woman turns out to be a crook. Some of them are not breaking a glass ceiling; they’re just breaking-and-entering.

ITEM 21: Jeff Bezos’s Washington Post said, “Golf shirts and classified docs: New court filings show Trump’s clutter.”

I better start cleaning the house because cluttering is now a federal crime.

ITEM 22: Brent Peabody tweeted, “Hot take, but Cori Bush (D-St. Louis) is more vulnerable than Bowman.

• Voted against Russian sanctions

• Facing a formidable black challenger

• Under active ethics investigation for fraud

• Missouri is an open primary state, so R’s and indies can crossover to beat her.”

Will there be a Bush whacking?

ITEM 23: DW reported, “UN drug agency warns of opium shortage amid Taliban ban.”

I see why they are worried. How can a bureaucracy fight drugs if there are none?

ITEM 24: NYT asked, “Judges Upended Biden’s Student Loan Repayment Plan. What Happens Now?”

You pay the loan back.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Glenn Reynolds said, “As I’ve noted before, being nice isn’t a Christian tenet. Nice people don’t drive the moneychangers out of the temple, or the Moors out of Spain. Niceness-as-Christianity is mostly a cowardly copout by people who are afraid of confrontation.”

Or as Tina Turner sang, “We always do it nice and rough.”

ITEM 25: Law Dork whined, “SCOTUS is going into July, destroying executive agency powers along the way.”

So, lefties want to give more power to Trump.

ITEM 26: Sammy Hagar tweeted, “Before I wrote the song I Can’t Drive 55, I had 34 speeding tickets and my license taken away three times and was paying $135,000 a year for insurance — and that was in 1984! Since I wrote that song and made that video I have gotten only two speeding tickets! It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”

Working on my first song, I Can Drive a Bentley.

ITEM 27: NBC reported, “Taylor Swift fans scrambling as Aer Lingus pilot strike coincides with Dublin concert dates.”

No one cares about the Irish, It is all about the Swifties.

ITEM 28: AP reported, “Jamaal Bowman’s loss signals uncertainty of where the first member of ‘the Squad’ to lose went wrong.”

Ed Driscoll said, “Perhaps a news and opinion organization that isn’t so close to the issue that they had an office in Gaza in the same building as Hamas and Al-Jazeera might be able to figure this one out.”

Don’t be alarmed about Bowman. He’ll be the chief of the new Capitol Fire Department.

ITEM 29: Daily Wire reported, “Supreme Court Rejects Conservative Challenge To Biden Admin Pressuring Social Media Companies To Remove Content.”

The court said “the plaintiffs did not have standing.”

Tampa Bay Buccaneers should sign the opinion’s author Amy Comey Barrett because she sure knows how to punt.

ITEM 30: Jed Rosenzweig reported, “25+ Years of Daily Show Clips Gone as Paramount Axes Comedy Central Site.”

The channel just became 25 years funnier.

ITEM 31: Nate Silver gives President Trump a 66% chance of winning.

In 2016, N8 Ag’s final prediction gave Trump a 28% chance.

Worry Donald. Worry.

ITEM 32: The Daily Mail screamed, “Donald Trump hit by shock poll in red state where a Democrat hasn’t won statewide in 20 years. Donald Trump has just a 6 point lead over President Joe Biden in the state of Texas according to a new poll released ahead of Trump and Biden's rematch on the debate stage.”

He carried the state by 5.5 points in 2020.

Retard offends people. Let’s just call them journalist as in “he’s mentally journalisted.”

ITEM 33: Sundance reported, “Hungary Launches Foreign Influence Investigation —U.S. State Department, CIA and EU Influence Institutions Immediately Complain.”

Hungarians survived the Nazis and the commies. Looks like they are up against the commies again.

ITEM 34: The Daily Mail reported, “Uvalde school police chief Pedro Arredondo and another officer are charged with child endangerment over school massacre that saw shooter Salvador Ramos kill 21.”

Those 19 kids and 2 teachers killed deserved far more coverage than George Floyd.

ITEM 35: AP complained, “Missouri, Kansas judges temporarily halt much of President Biden’s student debt forgiveness plan.”

Hey, Trump, how about a Bentley car-loan forgiveness program? Asking for a friend.

ITEM 36: Agence France Presse reported, “Zelensky Says Preparing Plan To End War With Russia.”

He must have watched the debate.

ITEM 37: The Supreme Court overturned Chevron on Friday as it relentlessly reins in the deep state.

Lefties feared this, not the overturning of Roe because abortion is a non-issue. The morning after pill killed it. The Trump Triplets are pushing back hard against the bureaucracy. This is what we need if we are to regain our freedom.

ITEM 38: Gateway Pundit reported, “Jack Smith’s January 6 Case Against President Trump Torpedoed After Supreme Court Overturns 1512(c)(2) Obstruction Charge.”

Well, Jack still has him on that classified newspaper front pages case.

FINALLY, we spent much of Friday watching a video of our new granddaughter crawling to a bag of chips. I told my wife it would be better set to Benny Hill music — Yakety Sax by Boots Randolph.

She said she was thinking of the theme to Jaws.

This is why I sleep with one eye open.