Highlights of the week

I explain why Trump should not call Walz a retard

Arnold called them girly men. Fact-check: True.

ITEM 1: Channel 15 reported, “Trump tipped for FIFA Peace Prize as world leaders gather in DC for World Cup draw.”

Congratulations. Hamas leaders already won the FAFO Rest In Peace prize.

ITEM 2: CBS reported, “Officials have said that jaguar breeding in the U.S. has not been documented in more than a century.”

What can I say? They like their privacy.

ITEM 3: George Clooney said on Drew Barrymore’s show, “Yeah, so anyways my wife helped draft the Constitution of the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood in 2012 after the revolution.”

Hey, George, tell your wife ISIS is hiring.

ITEM 4: Congressman Morgan McGarvey, D-Lalaland, tweeted, “The ACA tax credits expire in less than 30 days, and Republicans don’t have a plan to lower the cost of health care. But we do.”

Yes Democrats do. The plan is called ACA. It ran out of money. Again.

ITEM 5: EU Parliament President Roberta Metsola tweeted, “A landmark moment for Europe. We have sealed a deal to ban imports of Russian gas to the EU.”

The BME—Blanket Makers of Europe—thanks you.

As does the ESUI—European Smugglers Union International.

ITEM 6: Ezra Levant tweeted, “Canadian taxpayers gave Stellantis $15 billion.

“On Wednesday their CEO proudly told Donald Trump they’re putting almost that exact amount into new factories in the USA. Mark Carney is a master negotiator!”

Trump’s next book, The Art of the Steal.

ITEM 7: Tampon Tim tweeted, “Paid Leave is going to be a game changer for small business owners like Martha at Marty’s Deli.”

Yes, paying up to 20 weeks leave every year to every employee will really change the game because instead of going to the bank, they will go to bankruptcy court.

ITEM 8: After 4 years of calling Trump literally Hitler, the left decried Trump calling Walz a retard. The governor complained that now people are driving by his house shouting retard.

Apologize, Donald. You don’t call actual retards “retard.” You reserve the word for stupid people who merely act retarded.

ITEM 9: CBS reported, “Republican Rep. Jim Jordan, the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, issued a subpoena Wednesday to former special counsel Jack Smith as part of the committee’s probe into the federal prosecutions of President Trump.”

They misspelled persecution.

ITEM 10: After FJB’s FBI ignoring the case for 4 years, the FBI arrested a man it claims left pipe bombs on J6.

Jake Tapper described him as a 30-year-old white man.

Tapper apparently never before saw a black man in a white shirt and tie.

ITEM 11: Speaking of white privilege, a grand jury refused to indict Tish James for mortgage fraud.

It’s just as well as a Clinton-appointed judge would have just tossed the indictment out again.

ITEM 12: CBS News reported, “A U.S. citizen was forcibly removed from her car by federal agents in Key Largo, Florida on Wednesday after she refused to present her driver’s license and roll down her window when stopped, U.S. Customs and Border Protection said.”

It turns out she was driving her illegal alien boyfriend’s car. Of course, he’s an illegal alien. No red-blooded American man lets his woman drive his car.

ITEM 13: Having fixed Obamacare, the $38 trillion national debt and immigration law, Republican Congressman Chip Roy took on the College Football Playoffs system.

He said, “Maybe we should fix the damn mess so we don’t have 16 teams in the SEC and 17 teams in the ACC and 19 teams in the Big 10 and Stanford in the Atlantic Coast Conference.”

How to kill college football: Have Congress fix it.

ITEM 14: Breitbart reported, “Trump Administration Rolling Back Biden-Era Fuel Economy Standards that Drove Up Car Prices.”

The same people who cry free market to protect imports from Red China refuse to let the free market determine MPG.

ITEM 15: Red State reported, “Supreme Court Allows Texas Redistricting Plan to Stand.”

Allows.

The justices have turned the country into one big game of Mother May I?

ITEM 16: Townhall reported, “Senator Rand Paul Idea Replaces Obamacare With Free Market Alternative.”

(In Andy Rooney voice) Ever notice that none of his super-duper brilliant ideas become actual laws? I wonder why that it.

ITEM 17: The Telegraph reported, “Brussels has sparked a free speech row with the White House by hitting Elon Musk’s X with a €120,000,000 (£105,000,000) fine.”

Yes, NATO, let’s risk American lives defending European censorship.

ITEM 18: CNBC reported, “Core inflation rate watched by Fed hit 2.8%, delayed September data shows, lower than expected.”

Lower than expected. Higher than expected. Never: as expected.

ITEM 19: The Independent reported, “Taliban makes 13-year-old boy execute convicted murderer in stadium spectacle attended by 80,000.”

How barbaric. It’s the 21st century. PAY-PER-VIEW!

ITEM 20: The Village People performed at the Kennedy Center last night at Trump’s request.

It’s fun to play at the Ken ’Dy Center.

ITEM 21: The New York Times reported, “Ex-D.E.A. Agent Charged With Agreeing to Launder Millions for Cartel.”

Put him on a speedboat in the Caribbean.

ITEM 22: Billboard reported, “The Beatles’ archival Anthology series of albums is back Billboard charts, 30 years after the project launched in 1995 with Anthology 1. The new album, Anthology 4, debuts in the top 10 on five Billboard charts, all dated Dec. 6: Top Album Sales (No. 9), Top Current Album Sales (No. 9), Top Rock & Alternative Albums (No. 7), Top Rock Albums (No. 6) and Indie Store Album Sales (No. 3).”

Apple Records recycles more than an organic farming co-op.

Up next, the AI Beatles’ Anthology series featuring the song With A Little Help From My Grok.

ITEM 23: The Senate held a confirmation hearing with billionaire astronaut Jared Isaacman, who is Trump’s pick to helm NASA. Let’s see how that went:

Senator: “Did you not pay Elon Musk to go to space?”
Jared Isaacman: “Well, SpaceX is currently the only company that can take people to space.”

In a normal world, he would be confirmed by acclamation just for that answer.

ITEM 24: The Post Millennial reported, “The new Pentagon press corps entered the imposing building on the Potomac for the first time this week as those disgruntled members of the former press corps took to their pages to complain about it. The New York Times went a step further and is suing the Pentagon over what they say is a violation of the First Amendment.”

The New York Times voluntarily turned in all its Pentagon press passes on December 5.

ITEM 25: A federal judge ordered the city of Asheville, North Carolina, to pay $81,000 in legal fees to the lawyers of five white people it discriminated against. They went to court to force the city to repeal its racist ordinance that gave preference to non-whites and LGBT over straight white people in hiring.

The mayor and five of its six council members are women. I guess this proves women are equal to men when it comes to racism.

ITEM 26: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “Harvard Law School visiting professor Carlos Portugal Gouvea—who told authorities he fired a pellet rifle outside a synagogue on the eve of Yom Kippur ‘to hunt rats’—agreed to self-deport after ICE arrested him Wednesday.”

He’s from Brazil? I thought all the Nazis fled to Argentina.

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Today’s first poll question is a sanitized version of one I saw on Twitter. The second one is in reference for America accepting soccer as real football. Bleah.