Highlights of the week
Don’t worry. It took me a minute to get it, too.
ITEM 1: Fox tweeted, “Ashley Biden slams reporting about her dad’s mental acuity as ‘disrespectful and untrue.’ ”
She then showered him with praise.
ITEM 2: How was the week?
Andrea Widburg tweeted, “The Matrix is breaking down. The reality program has run amok, and what we've long believed to be reality is being shattered. Whether it's the Trump-Musk bromance break-up or National Review celebrating Harvey Milk, nothing seems real. I hear Twilight Zone music.”
Suddenly Democrats oppose pedophilia.
ITEM 3: June is Accordion Awareness Month, a musical instrument that I once mocked but now I like.
Myron Floren’s Overture to William Tell is a delight, but for some reason, I wanted to smoke a Lark cigarette when the overture ended.
ITEM 4: CBS reported, “Scientists have unlocked one of the solar system’s many secrets from an unexpected source: a planetarium show.”
Up next, discovering fish in of all places an aquarium.
ITEM 5: Open Source Intel tweeted, “Chinese nationals Yunqing Jian, 33, and Zunyong Liu, 34, were arrested in Detroit for smuggling Fusarium graminearum, a dangerous fungus considered a potential agroterrorism weapon, into the United States.
“The toxin producing pathogen was brought through Detroit’s airport for secret experiments at a University of Michigan lab. Jian, a member of the Chinese Communist Party, and Liu are charged with conspiracy, false statements, and visa fraud. Jian is currently in custody as the national security investigation continues.”
It almost became a fungus among us.
ITEM 6: Collin Rugg tweeted, “Miami-Dade deputy who allegedly punched a woman he brought home after realizing she had a penis, cleared of all criminal charges.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, deputy. Never punch a tranny.
Knee him in the crotch instead.
ITEM 7: Restoration News reported, “Maine House Votes to Withdraw from National Popular Vote Compact.”
Just a reminder that if this stupid proposal to give your Electoral College votes to whoever “wins” the popular vote were law, Trump would have carried 49 states and DC for a 534-4 shellacking of Cackling Kamala in the Electoral College. That is because the only states voting for this stupid idea are blue states that are still butt hurt over Al Gore and Hillary losing.
ITEM 8: The Jeff Bezos Post said, “Kennedy Center subscription sales fall 36% from previous year.”
Ticket sales cover less than half the cost of the entertainment arena. Here’s an idea: don’t hold concerts and save $140 million a year.
ITEM 9: Military.com reported, “Hegseth Orders Navy to Strip Name of Gay Rights Icon Harvey Milk from Ship.”
No use crying over spilled Milk, liberals.
Magills tweeted, “Disagree with this. Harvey Milk was the perfect moniker for a vessel full of young seamen.”
ITEM 10: General Sir John McColl, KCB, CBE, DSO, KStJ after visiting Israel/Gaza:
“Basing my views about the Israel-Hamas war on UK media coverage, I arrived in Israel critical and skeptical of their military operations. I came away from the trip satisfied that the IDF’s operations and rules of engagement were rigorous compared to the British Army and our western allies.”
I have no idea what those letters after his name mean but I am pretty sure they are more honorable than the letters LGBT.
ITEM 11: The New York Post tweeted, “3 British nationals accused of smuggling drugs face the death penalty in Indonesia.”
How barbaric.
Smuggling drugs, that is.
ITEM 12: ABC tweeted, “The FDA is elevating an earlier tomato recall to its highest risk level over concerns of potential salmonella contamination.”
I can hear Fred Astaire singing, “You say tomato, I say salmonella.”
ITEM 13: Gerry Dujoc reported, “The Steelers have sent an email to angry fans and season-ticket holders who complained about the appearances of quarterback Mason Rudolph and special teams captain Miles Killebrew at a rally for President Donald Trump on Friday.”
Fans should be more upset with the performance of the quarterback. I wouldn’t let poor Rudolph join in any Steelers games.
ITEM 14: Bloomberg reported, “A Fatal Tesla Crash Shows the Limits of Full Self-Driving.”
One woman’s death is a tragedy, 40,901 traffic fatalities a year are a statistic.
ITEM 15: The New York Post reported, “Washington’s most outrageous MAGA correspondent Natalie Winters dishes on dating in DC: ‘Most men are gay.’ ”
Well, Fred Thompson did say, “Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.”
ITEM 16: Sara Rose tweeted, “Wow. The Chancellor of Germany gifts President Trump his grandfather’s birth certificate. Biden never got gifts from anyone.”
But his son did. Lots of them. He gave the big guy 10%.
ITEM 17: German Chancellor: “May I remind you that we are having June 6 tomorrow. This is the D-Day anniversary.”
Trump: “Not a pleasant day for you. That was not a great day.”
German Chancellor: “This was the liberation of my country from Nazi dictatorship.”
Sure it was. German soldiers laid down their weapons at Omaha Beach and welcomed the Yankees with schnitzel and beer.
IN NORTS SPEWS: Caitlin Clark, the only reason millions care about the WNBA, missed a few games due to an injury.
But Angel Reese is still missing lay-ups to entertain us.
That’s quite a rivalry: Angel v. Gravity.
And here I thought only white men can’t jump.
ITEM 18: AP reported, “22 crew members rescued from lifeboat in North Pacific after ship carrying 3,000 cars catches fire.”
800 were EVs made in Red China. I may stop smiling in a day or two.
ITEM 19: The Supreme Court handed down three unanimous decisions. Chief Justice Roberts assigned writing the easy-peasy decisions to Kagan, KBJ and Sotomayor.
It is his way of saying they cannot handle any decision harder than a two-foot putt.
ITEM 20: Front Page Magazine reported, “Lesbian Venezuelan Poetry Student May Be Trump’s Next Deportation Victim.”
Lesbian Venezuelan Poetry Students could be this generation’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
ITEM 21: Last week’s big story was Jake Tapper’s new book Original Sin: Democrats Lied To Me About Biden And I Fell For It.
This week, it’s Karine Jean Pierre new book Independent: They Made Me Lie To Jake Tapper And He Fell For It.
ITEM 22: Mark Tapscott asked, “What if Trump and Musk are playing 5D chess?”
I would prefer they stop playing games and get on with the task before them, which is to cut spending by $2 trillion and keep a tax cut that will save Americans $4.3 trillion over a 10-year period.
ITEM 23: NBC reported, “Former federal inmate pardoned by Trump tapped as Bureau of Prisons deputy director.”
He knows the prison system inside and out.
ITEM 24: CNN reported, “Trump preparing large-scale cancellation of federal funding for California, sources say.”
He tried giving the state back to Mexico but they don’t want it.
ITEM 25: Reuters reported, “Proud Boys leaders seek $100 million over Jan. 6 prosecutions.”
I wonder where they got that idea.
Oh yeah. “Former FBI agent Peter Strzok reaches $1.2 million settlement with DOJ: Lawyers.”
ITEM 26: Reuters reported, “President Donald Trump is free to bar the Associated Press from some White House media events for now, after a U.S. appeals court on Friday paused a lower court ruling mandating that AP journalists be given access.”
The president no longer needs a permission slip from a judge to decide who goes into the Oval Office or aboard Air Force One. Does he still need a hall pass to go to the john?
ITEM 27: NBC reported, “Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the Maryland man [SALVADORAN ILLEGAL ALIEN] whose erroneous deportation to El Salvador became a protracted battle over due process and a test of wills, has been returned to the United States to face human smuggling charges in Tennessee.”
He could have spent a year in the infamous El Salvadoran prison. Thanks to help from Democrats, he faces life in prison at our Supermax prison.
ITEM 28: CNBC reported, “The Dow Jones Industrial Average popped 443.13 points, or 1.05%, to close at 42,762.87. The blue-chip index was up more than 600 points at its highs of the session. The S&P 500 also gained 1.03%—surpassing the 6,000 level for the first time since late February—and settling at 6,000.36. The Nasdaq Composite rallied 1.20%, ending at 19,529.95.”
So much for that worst April since the Great Depression talking point.
ITEM 29: NBC reported, “The Supreme Court on Friday allowed members of the Trump administration's Department of Government Efficiency to access Social Security Administration data.”
What? The court is acting as if the president is the chief of the executive branch of government.
ITEM 30: Republican Congressman Jungle Jim Comer ordered FJB’s physician to be deposed by Congress.
Comer said in a tweet announcing this, “No auto pen was used in the signing of this subpoena.”
ITEM 31: We Love Trump reported, “FBI Director Kash Patel Says His House Got ‘Swatted.’ ”
There’s a way to stop this. Disband the SWAT teams.
ITEM 32: On Tuesday, USA Today cheered, “Russia's 'Pearl Harbor': What to know about Ukraine's audacious drone strike.”
Evidently no one at the paper knows how Pearl Harbor ended.
Item 1. She showered with him in praise
Item 3. Don when I hear the Overture I want to charge DNC HQ with a pitchfork.