256 Comments
User's avatar
Suzie's avatar

Item 1: “For real immortality, follow Christ. That has been obvious for 2,000 years.”

AMEN! If God wanted us to live here forever He would’ve planned it that way.

Can’t think of anything I’d like less!

Jeremy R's avatar

We will live forever, the question is where. If you spend your time on earth running from him, why would you expect to spend eternity with him?

BJ54's avatar

That's why G-d kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden. It was not because of sin alone. He did not want people to live in sin forever if those two ate of the Tree of Life.

Liberty Belle's avatar

🎵 “The Lord wasn’t jokin’ when He kicked ‘em out of Eden

It wasn’t for no reason that He shed His blood

His return is very soon, so you better be believin’

Our God is an awesome God”

-Rich Mullins

Love that song!

Jake's avatar

Noah was 600 years old when he built the Ark. Just sayin.....

Suzie's avatar

Yes, and Methuselah lived to be 969.

But forever is a long time.

I’d wager those guys were more than ready to go onto paradise.

What’s interesting is that after the flood, lifespans decreased precipitously going from Noah, at 950 to Moses at 120 years.

Clearly something altered life spans significantly after the flood.

Playswithneedles's avatar

At the age of 73, with the various aches, pains and lack of former abilities which come with age, I’ve decided that God gives us old age so that, when our time comes, we’re more than ready to meet him.

CactusMatt32's avatar

My MIL is 92 and still with it…wha-did BJ sing? (Billy Joel - you guttersnipe)….buried most of those she’s loved…that seems t/b the most painful part…. But as Christian’s we will meet again…

Playswithneedles's avatar

We recently tragically lost a family member in his 30s. The one thing that helps me deal with it is knowing that we will all meet again.

David Thompson's avatar

If you plot the age people in the Bible lived to versus the year they were born, you get an exponential curve. It's almost like God had a plan or something. :-)

Robert Brusca's avatar

Migrants...there was mass migration.

Puddintaine's avatar

I’m trying to imagine having a 950 yr old grandma.

Robert Brusca's avatar

Anf...the rest of the family

Jeremy R's avatar

Ever wonder what the population of earth was before the flood? Possibly higher than it is now.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Social Security paid him for $535 of those years.

Robert Brusca's avatar

How many cubits is that?

Alice Ball's avatar

Man the mean tweets!!!!!! 😂😂 I love Trump’s tweets that dig, you know it drives them all crazy!

Also, item 23, fluffy and light Krispey Kreme doughnuts STOMP dry and dense Dunkin Doughnuts. Every day of the week. Southerners know.

Playswithneedles's avatar

I’ve always loved Trump’s mean tweets because, especially during his first term, he would throw one out there and the enemedia would spend the next 1-2 weeks ranting about it while he sat quietly behind the Resolute Desk keeping his promises.

CactusMatt32's avatar

He was watching Gorilla TV….

Houdini Trooper's avatar

Way to go Alice on Krispy Kreme doughnuts, only someone from WV would think Dunkin Doughnuts were better dry, dry and more dry.

You haven't lived until you drive 50 miles in the middle of the night in the early 70's to get your pregnant wife Krispy Kreme doughnuts and laughed all the way home!

Valoree Dowell's avatar

I raised my son (in the womb and now 43) on Dunkin Donuts Old Fashioneds. I guess ignorance is bliss.

Shoveltusker's avatar

You're not wrong (says a southerner)

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

I will trade half a dozen all sugar kremes for one good bearclaw with extra cinnamon.

Alice Ball's avatar

Now I love a good bearclaw too Marlan. But if Dunkin makes it, it’ll be dry and dense. It’s their business model😂🤣

BH's avatar

Anyone remember Spudnuts? What I wouldn’t give for one of their delectable melt-in-your-mouth apple fritters, right now! A number of individually owned shops still exist, just not near me, unfortunately.

FR in SC's avatar

I miss Cornnuts. In the five-cent bag.

Doug's avatar

Back in the day when we had good teeth!!!!

Liberty Belle's avatar

I loved having them for a snack as a kid and beyond when swimming at the pool.

Valoree Dowell's avatar

Yes! Raised in Utah! How did I forget?

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

They were a debightful treat that disappeared too soon B.H.

Indydoc's avatar

As a kid, we lived next door to the Spudnuts guy.

Occasionally, we'd get a box.

Agree, they were great.

NNTX's avatar

Especially if the Krispy Kreme are “hot now”. Best remedy for a night when you imbibed a bit too much LOL.

Dermot's avatar

doughnut / donut

catsup / ketchup

PASToral / pasTORal

These are things that keep me up at night.

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

like read-read -red-reed etc??

Puddintaine's avatar

I’ve been fortunate to live in a few places that had donut/bakery shops. One town in NC (home of the KK )only had Dunkin & they were real treats for my little family. My current NC hometown has had two or three individually owned donut shops and while Dunkin came here just a few short years ago, my donut go to is the local Glaze King shop. Haven’t tried the local DD. Maybe one day just for fun. Krispy Kreme just couldn’t be bothered to set up shop in my little town so I DO NUT buy their donuts. Maybe I’m just not southern enough 😂

Alice Ball's avatar

I grew up in Nashville and KK were not only dominant, they seemed like the only game in town. Plus lots of youth organizations “sold” KK as fundraisers, and of course everyone bought them! I live in Memphis now and the BEST doughnuts are Gibson’s, and Alton Brown even named their plain glazed doughnut as one of “The Best Thing I Ever Ate,” which was a fun show some years ago. Very much like a KK but a little bigger and slightly less glaze. Support your local doughnut shops!!!🍩

Brian LeMay's avatar

Best doughnuts I have ever had come from Carter's Grill in Cordele GA with second going to the Engles grocery store bakery in Thomaston GA ; made from scratch rules ! Try to stay out of the Krispy Kreme - Dunkin Doughnuts issue ; think it is a freshness difference 🤔 .

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Have a couple little indie donut shops here make very good scratch fresh and potato donuts ,yummy when hot.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 13. RIP Scot Adams. Go with God ❤️🙏✝️

John Linder's avatar

The Minnesota state bird remains the Loon. And the state insect is the tick.

The Loon-a-Tick state!

Jeremy R's avatar

Aptly so, their governor is loony for sure.

Jeremy R's avatar

You have my sympathy.

Jeremy R's avatar

I'm constantly amazed at the number of Minnesotans who are here. I escaped to Kansas many years ago.

Valoree Dowell's avatar

Coffee snort. Maybe need an acronym (ACS) or emoji. Since it happens so often.

Indydoc's avatar

Clever,

I remember loons from canoeing. Memorable

John Linder's avatar

I grew up in Northern Minnesota. And they are the state bird.

James Mazzarelli's avatar

Iran has 92 million people and is slightly smaller than Alaska. What should we do? Send Lisa Murkowski over there (permanently!) as Ambassador.

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

I second the motion J.M. !

Joe LaGreca's avatar

Lifetime appointment.

CactusMatt32's avatar

She can win w write-in ballots, since mullahs don’t trust SmartMatic…

Brian LeMay's avatar

I dunno , send her over there and they will all starve to death from indecision or flip-flopping .

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 9. It’s amazing how much you can do for vets when you actually honor and care about them.

Jake's avatar

I wish we could have a vet medicare and do away with the VA hospitals. Let vets go to their regular dr and hospitals close to their home.

Subvet's avatar

You can kind of. In an emergency you can go to the neaerest emergency room. If admitted your stay is paid for. 100%

I went to the VA ER and they transfered me to a civilian hospital.

The VA takes very good care of me. I will say care improve significantly during Trump's first term. It didn't deteriorate on Ziden's watch and now that Trump is back we seeing signs of more improvement.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Thank you for your service. 👍🇺🇸 🫡

Subvet's avatar

You are welcome. It was an honor.

Suzie's avatar

I concur. It’s just another redundant, unnecessary government expense.

Doug's avatar

My VA hospital is approximately 70 miles away, but I can have most procedures done locally through the Community Care Office.

Jim Nelson's avatar

The answer to Don's question is Doug Collins, a former Congressman from Georgia and a no nonsense guy. PDJT has assembled the best Cabinet, by far, that I have ever seen in my 70+ years.

Subvet's avatar

Doug Collins, Georgia boy, live just over yonder...

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 7. I think it’s mass psychosis. Which reminds me of my New Years Resolution. I plan to hold libs in utter contempt more this year than last.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 3. The Brit defense minister better get a food and drink taster.

Grumpy Oldman's avatar

LOL! Since when has Englandistan had a ‘Defense Minister?’

He ain’t doin’ too good a job allowing the Muslim Mongrel hordes overrunning their Country without firing a shot. Terminate, with prejudice, the incompetent buffoon.

I guess the Crusades were all for naught and much ado about nothing.

Vince Gallo's avatar

All those Crusades down the drain.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 5. What are the chances President Trump signs a bill returning Obama to Kenya?

Adorable Deplorable's avatar

Would have to be an EO. Ain't nobody in DC with the balls to even mention this... no less actually draft a bill.

Jeremy R's avatar

Needs to be Indonesia, home of his adopted father.

Subvet's avatar

What a great thought!

Charles Bolen's avatar

If Alberta goes, NWT, Saskatchewan and Manitoba have no choice to follow. Their national tax structure is set up so that Alberta’s revenue is critical to Ontario and Quebec’s budget. Absent Alberta, the formula would place even more of an unbalanced burden on those remaining rural three to send to the big two, and they would have no choice to leave also, as the burden would be unsustainable.

Alberta is the resource richest division on the continent, but has been blocked by growth at every turn. It is a large net exporter of tax wealth to the central government, and yet held down from generating the wealth to sustain its own budgetary needs with over a decade of this anti-energy agenda.

Decisions made two time zones away are leading to a divorce referendum well may reach critical mass this autumn if the ruling parliamentary coalition in Ottawa doesn’t make significant concessions. (Leave and Remain are about even, and Not Sure is significant) Their national media and parliament are not taking the referendum as seriously as the voter are, and they may be too late to reverse course and make the legislative or policy concessions to make REMAIN the more enticing option.

Imaging seeing most of your revenue sent across the country, and the only thing you get in return is NO, you can’t drill more, you can’t, mine, you can’t build new lines, and your farmers need to not use so much fertilizer and your cows fart too much.

Alberta NEEDS the big two to vote to reverse the net zero, rollback the energy and agricultural production restrictions, and accept a more balanced revenue distribution model where more wealth remains in the province it was produced. That is such an unpopular stance in those two provinces that politicians would rather let the country fracture into several separate nations than risk facing their warped entitled constituencies. As the referendum voters see more of the same, it becomes more likely to pass.

Steve (recovering lawyer)'s avatar

Since Clown Car Carney has just prostrated himself before the Mighty and Powerful Xi and literally pledged Canada to joining China in creating "the New World Order" (I kid you not!) it looks like Alberta had better jump off the Thelma and Louise Express that Canada has become.

Vince Gallo's avatar

The President should give Carney the Maduro treatment. The Donroe Doctrine Rules.

NNTX's avatar

Keep us posted on developments, please. Rare to see such a complete explanation of what is driving Alberta’s politics re. the rest of Canada.

No's avatar

Hot pants were great back in the seventies, but on today's ham planets?

Item 22, at least the people of Greenland aren't Nazis.

Shoveltusker's avatar

Upvote for "ham planets"

Playswithneedles's avatar

Back in the early 70s, my family went on a tour of a Navy base which included a working aircraft carrier. My younger teenaged sister wore hot pants that day. You can imagine the sailors’ reactions. Big mistake. Huge!

No's avatar

Come on, those sailors probably were eternally grateful. Life at sea gets pretty lonely. It's good for a young man's health to look at pretty girls. Old men, too.

Playswithneedles's avatar

I’m sure that it was good for them, but it was hell for her. She nearly died of embarrassment.

No's avatar

What we survive makes us stronger. :)

CactusMatt32's avatar

Halter top or Tube? Asking for a friend…

Subvet's avatar

I was a sailor in the 70's I know exactly what the reaction was.

Jake's avatar

I wonder what Hillary looks like in hot pants?? Asking for a friend.

Hoffmeister's avatar

Here's hoping you meant " hot seat " ( as in electric chair:)

OldeArtiste's avatar

Not even Bill Clinton would hit that!

Suzie's avatar

Eeeew! Why on earth would you wonder that?

CactusMatt32's avatar

Bill knows the answer….musta been the Yale library trashcan punch…Rodham Rules….

Jim Nelson's avatar

Only if she's wearing a burka.

No's avatar

Hurl!! Gack!

Vince Gallo's avatar

There goes my breakfast 😂

Joe LaGreca's avatar

Perish the thought.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 14. I have an idea. Let’s trade CA OR MN for Alberta. Solve two problems.

TishalaFaye's avatar

Can we give em a twofer?

FR in SC's avatar

How about Minnesota and New England, including NY state? And besides Alberta we get Yukon and the NW Territories so it'll mean just us and the Russkies own the land around the north pole (assuming we get Greenland some way or another).

Jeremy R's avatar

Better yet, give them New York City, Detoilet, Chiraq, Mogadishu on the Mississippi, Denver, Lost Angeles, San Franfreakshow, Portland and Seattle.

Brian LeMay's avatar

Absolutely not , they'll just turn around and give it the Chinese . Besides what about all the fun we are going to have cleaning it up .

The Accidental Hoosier's avatar

"For real immortality, follow Christ. That has been obvious for 2,000 years."

Amen!

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

That asshat in robes in Minnimalia must want an insurrection declared if ICE is only allowed to make faces at the protesters, she is a demoncrat appointee. Maduro went from lefty hero to zero quickly, Greenland watch your back as the left is very fickle ,see DJT. 2015]

Vince Gallo's avatar

Minniemolia I love it.

Dee's avatar

#2 The girls in the Hot Pants link are today's grandmas.

CactusMatt32's avatar

Not intended to be entendre, but in 70s parlance….Still Bitchin’!!

Grumpy Oldman's avatar

Yeah? And...? They were hot then and, I'm sure, they're just as hot now. Remember, YOU are just as old and decrepit as them. Look in the mirror, Sparky.

Vince Gallo's avatar

You’re no fun 😂😂😂😂😂😂👍👍

Jake's avatar

Anybody else notice that Tim Walz and Elmer Fudd look a hell of a lot alike?

FR in SC's avatar

I didn't until he went "hunting" for pheasants during the '24 campaign, and couldn't figure out how to load his shotgun. Those two were separated at birth.