Highlights of the week
Anthony Weiner lost his New York City Council race to Harvey Epstein
Happy Still No Kings Day.
ITEM 1: Benny Johnson tweeted, “Jaguar’s sales have collapsed 97.5% since they put out this ad.”
That’s an odd way to sell cars made for old guys to pick up hot chicks.
ITEM 2: The College Fix reported that a music academy asked, “What would jazz sound like in a culture without patriarchy?”
Yoko Ono.
ITEM 3: Judge asked Diddy?
ITEM 4: The New York Post reported, “Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ attorneys celebrate ‘great victory’ after sex trafficking trial verdict.”
You know your client is evil when you cheer the jury for finding him guilty of “only” two felonies which have him facing “only” 20 years in prison.
ITEM 5: President Trump and MAGA got the best deal possible on the Big Beautiful Bill thanks to Mike Johnson and John Thune. When you clear the Senate 50-50, you have gotten as much milk as you can from the cow without killing it.
What’s in it for me—because it’s all about me. My taxes won’t rise because the 2017 tax cut became permanent. I don’t have to pay as much taxes on my Social Security. And my border is protected.
ITEM 6: Coming up next, the Rescissions Act. It will need 60 votes to clear the Senate.
My money is on Trump pulling it off.
ITEM 7: Politico reported, “Hakeem Jeffries breaks the House record for longest floor speech.”
And for all his talk, he did nothing. Congress passed the bill anyway. Hakeem is the Rand Paul of the House. Talks Bentley, rides bus.
ITEM 8: Collin Rugg tweeted with a video: “58-year-old car wash owner Darrell ‘Plant’ Thomas passed away in June and wanted to give his community one final gift.
“On the day of his funeral, Thomas’ sons Darell and Jonte organized a helicopter to drop cash and rose petals.”
Afterward, a voice boomed from his grave and said, “As God is my witness, I thought money could fly.”
ITEM 9: Dom Lucre tweeted, “Former President Barack Obama sent out a call to action against President Trump’s BBB, Obama sent out a post on X urging voters to call their representatives and tell them to vote NO on the BBB in an attempt to undermine The President of The United States as Barack sits in his Hawaiian home.”
According to Rand Paul, Obama is a true fiscal conservative.
ITEM 10: Ken Klippenstein tweeted, “Hakeem Jeffries posts pic of him holding a baseball bat with the caption: ‘House Democrats will keep the pressure on Trump’s One Big Ugly Bill.’ ”
T-ball tough.
ITEM 11: National Review reported, “The Supreme Court announced Thursday it will hear two cases involving state laws preventing boys from competing in girls’ sports, a key issue in the nationwide battle over transgenderism.”
Hakeem’s baseball career now is in the hands of the Supreme Court.
ITEM 12: NYT’s tweeted, “Iran suspended cooperation with the UN’s nuclear watchdog. The decision means that international inspectors will not be able to oversee sites, as experts warn that Tehran could revive plans to build a bomb.”
The inspectors are relieved because this means they won’t have to dig through hundreds of feet of rocks and dirt to find the nuclear site to inspect.
ITEM 13: Alligator Alcatraz opened. The New York Post reported, “Stark first photos from inside ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ reveal bleak digs for up to 5,000 migrants.”
Looked like an Army basic training barracks to me.
ITEM 14: Sky News tweeted, “Human leg found on Scottish beach linked to body in Northern Ireland.”
Rob M tweeted, “Bloody hell the leg must be long as fuck.”
ITEM 15: Benny Johnson tweeted, “Paramount, CBS’s parent company, agrees to a $16 million settlement in President Trump’s lawsuit over the edited 60 Minutes interview with Kamala Harris.”
(In Andy Rooney voice) Ever notice that the media settles before the president’s lawyers can perform discovery? I wonder why that is.
ITEM 16: The New York Post tweeted, “Trans UPenn swimmer Lia [WILL] Thomas to have titles stripped as university bends the knee to Trump administration.”
It was his rudder that made him faster than the women.
ITEM 17: NBC tweeted, “Iowa becomes the first state to remove gender identity from its civil rights code, meaning transgender and nonbinary residents are no longer protected from discrimination in their job, housing and other aspects of life.”
It was called the You Don’t Have To Date A Tranny bill.
ITEM 18: Daily Wire reported, “ ‘Sinners’ To Debut On Max As First Show With ‘Black American Sign Language’ Translation.”
Lemme guess. Middle fingers are used a lot.
ITEM 19: NBC tweeted, “Defense Secretary Hegseth has ordered a pause in sending a shipment of missiles and ammunition to Ukraine amid concern about the U.S. military’s stockpiles, according to defense officials, congressional officials and two sources with knowledge of the decision.”
Democrats, too, believe in peace through strength, which is why FJB did everything he could to weaken America.
ITEM 20: NPR reported, “Waffle House drops egg surcharge as prices fall back to Earth.”
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
ITEM 21: DeSantis unveiled a statue of Thomas Jefferson in Jefferson County, Florida, ahead of the nation’s 250th anniversary next July Fourth.
Rename Palm Beach County Trump County.
ITEM 22: Kristan Hawkins tweeted, “Cleveland’s Planned Parenthood officially closes, blaming federal cuts.”
But they told me the money had nothing to do with abortions and that the money went to things like telling women where the nearest place is to get a mammogram because no woman has access to the Internet.
ITEM 23: Rain Drops Media reported, “Simon Guobadia claims he spent over $5 million on his wedding to Porsha Williams. Only to get divorced shortly after. Porsha received his mansion and a $40,000 monthly alimony. Simon says he received a deportation by ICE in the divorce settlement.”
Jerry Reed was right. She got the gold mine, he got the shaft.
ITEM 24: J.K. Rowling tweeted, “Stephen Ireland, who targeted me with endless abuse on X because I oppose the chemical castration of children and the removal of protected spaces for women and girls, has just been sentenced to 30 years in jail for child rape.”
It’s time to stick a P for pedo in LGBT.
ITEM 25: Mike Engleman tweeted, “A federal judge approved a class-action lawsuit from 500 J6ers seeking $350 million in damages from Nancy Pelosi.
“The lawsuit claims, ‘Pelosi orchestrated the entire event to frame Trump and his supporters labeling them violent insurrectionists.’ She had help from the FBI, too!”
She’s gonna have to do a lot more insider trading to pay that off.
ITEM 26: Conservative Treehouse reported, “President Donald Trump has announced a trade agreement between the USA and Vietnam. Interestingly Vietnam will face a 20% tariff rate (baseline) and a 40% tariff rate on transnational shipping.
“The 40% transnational shipping rate is an interesting approach toward the process of China shipping goods to ASEAN countries to avoid direct tariffs.”
The grandsons of the Viet Cong treat us better than some of our NATO allies.
ITEM 27: Fox tweeted, “First lady Melania Trump makes ‘heartwarming’ visit to kids at hospital for Be Best event.”
How sweet and kind.
I want her husband to Be Beast.
ITEM 28: The Supreme Court agrees with me.
The New York Post reported, “Supreme Court greenlights deporting violent criminal migrants to South Sudan.”
ITEM 29: ABC tweeted, “Russia on Thursday became the first country to formally recognize the Taliban’s government in Afghanistan since it seized power in 2021, after Moscow removed the group from its list of outlawed organizations.”
Didn’t FJB’s Auto Pen do that when he left behind $8 billion in military gear as tribute to the regime?
ITEM 30: Real Clear Politics reported, “West Virginia must be rich, right? All that federal money that flows there year after year. Hopefully readers see the obvious flaw, or contradiction.
“Government spending saps economic growth, by its very description. Precisely because it signals the central planning of market goods, services and labor by politicians, it’s economically harmful. Only an economist could believe otherwise.”
Bobby Byrd did not bring prosperity. He brought federal bucks for his friends.
ITEM 31: The New York Post reported, “EPA puts 139 employees on leave over ‘declaration of dissent’ letter.”
The letter said, “we include anonymous signers.”
Anonymous signers. Forget Civil Service tests, we need IQ testing.
ITEM 32: ABC tweeted, “At his rally in Iowa on Friday, President Trump announced there will be a UFC fight on the White House lawn as part of the celebrations for the 250th birthday of the U.S. next year.”
AOC v. MTG.
ITEM 33: Fox tweeted, “Biden claims he’s ‘getting calls’ from European leaders wanting him to ‘get engaged.’ ”
Emails from Nigerian princes don’t count as calls from European leaders.
ITEM 34: Semafor reported, “Unilever cuts off funding for Ben & Jerry’s foundation amid tensions over Gaza, audit.”
Better put a hold on that new flavor: Almond Akbar.
FINALLY, Arby’s won the holiday with this tweet:
“Our cheddar runs but these colors sure don’t.”
Oh and two polls today.
I like to read. Always have. I’d rather read than listen to some oratory with opinionated inflections. Reading this week’s review left me comfortable about the current state of things… until I got to the “ anonymous signers.” At that point the airbags in my brain went off and it took a few minutes to reboot. These folks all need to be terminated since they obviously never graduated grade school.
13: I once got stuck overnight at Dulles International Airport. Alligator Alcatraz looks luxurious in comparison (also Alligator Alcatraz looks luxurious compared to Alcatraz. )