173 Comments
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Shrugged's avatar

ITEM 3: "Democrats struggled to find a replacement for Graham “Cracker” Platner for the Senate in Maine. Hard to nominate a normal person when your party has none."

As a child, my mom always taught me I would be judged as a person by the people I hung around with. I guess the Democrat party doesn't have moms to teach them lessons in self respect.

VICKI's avatar

What a gross looking individual he is/was and I never could figure out his appeal. Good riddance, as Fetterman says, "the trash took itself out.".

Shrugged's avatar

Interesting comment coming from a guy who was almost as gross in his days before he had his stroke, at which point he had a miraculous turnaround in his political outlook.Platner looks like a wife beater and (in his earlier days) Fetterman looked like a devious Uncle Fester (Adams Family if you don't remember him)

Damn the torpedoes's avatar

Maybe having a stroke is the answer for more than a few dems now? Maybe they’ll figure out that we don’t live in a democracy, we live in a constitutional republic. Big difference!

Shrugged's avatar

I'm not a doc but I have read that some come back from a stroke with a surprising change in outlook, viewing life throug a brand new lens that didn't fit the old personality. I think that may have happened to Fetterman. He was a real bum Democrat with their bad attitude. Today, he's much more moderate and reasonable but still dresses for the Senate like a bum - which doesn't bother me because it makes all the RINOs look like blue blood hypocrits.

Valoree Dowell's avatar

A brush with death, real or hinted at, will do that to a person. Just say, welcome back!

Don Reed's avatar

007/11/26: Yes, but when Mitch McConnell had his, it turned him into Mayor Mamdani (NYC).

Don Reed's avatar

07/11/26: He looks like he was harvested by an oyster farmer.

Jeremy R's avatar

Because of absentee farhers, mom was busy at the strip club. The lucky ones had a few uncles, some as many as 6570 uncles.

Shrugged's avatar

Well, we continue to see clearly the effects of their long-term work to destroy the family unit. Think for a minute about all the lessons our immediate and extended family demonstrated or taught us. We're losing that microcosm of what makes America a Norman Rockwell picture.

Indydoc's avatar

well maybe they are, a few of us are still hanging on

Shrugged's avatar

National statistics show Dems are not having kids while Maga/Republican families are having kids. And, they are home schooling at higher rates so the indoctrination of the public system doesn't unsocialize the kids. All good for the long run if we can hang on and survive the next few election cycles, right?

Sam Prentice's avatar

My Mom always used that teaching on me. That's why I didn't have many friends.

Valoree Dowell's avatar

Women voters “grieving” over Platner’s withdrawal also want to hook up with Luigi. No accounting for taste with these ones.

Shrugged's avatar

Yes, it makes one wonder their concept/perception of a good male-female realtionship. Perplexing indeed.

Marlan Hoerer's avatar

This is the women wanting bad boys syndrome and he smells bad in a photo.

James Taylor's avatar

If the Democrat Party had moms, they would call them "birthing persons..." That plus Nazi equals Democrat. ;)

Don Reed's avatar

07/11/26: As a teenager in Maine in 1969, I assure you, not a single person up there, myself included, would have predicted that a Graham Platner would have been in existence in 2025-26.

“ITEM 11: Oregon Governor Tina Kotek signed legislation permanently eliminating the state’s requirement that high school students demonstrate proficiency in reading, writing, and math to earn a diploma.

“ 'Keep them dumb and ignorant and Democrat.' ”

Which guarantees that Item #2 will happen:

“In a segment on Mitch McConnell’s hospitalization, CNN quoted a tweet from non-existent Congressman Jack Kimball.”

--- Daily Mail: “After pulling into a nearby gas station, [Britney] Spears was seen laughing and chatting with her mystery chauffeur - who has recently been linked to the singer as a possible new boyfriend - in the latest eyebrow-raising outing to come just months after resolving her DUI case.”

Going Bougie! (bourgeois): The problem with getting older is that Spears and Chauffer couldn’t both be in the back of the truck Doin’ It for the entertainment of their fellow drivers.

--- “ … build a human-sized hamster wheel and have Zuckerberg generate all the electricity Meta needs.”

This will work until his spongy wig falls off. When you see Cheyenne getting hit with an 11 pm blackout, that’s means he went back to Cali.

--- Trump divorced Kristi Noem. Kristi divorced Obama (the night-time version).

As for the Kristi Noems, be wary --- very wary --- of people who talk a good game. 30 years ago, a male K.M. on Third Avenue in the Lipstick Building (also the Madoff HQ!) had ALL the answers.

Result: The law firm’s client got stuck with a $50,000 bill for a massive and botched document print job (25,000 pages of illegible black ink) that came streaming into the building in 100 banker boxes.

--- Damn! Apparently, Vivek In Ohio has all the answers.

Catherine Kasparian's avatar

#9 is my favorite. Send Marco a list of all the Walz pardons.

Amy's avatar

Excellent idea!

Don Reed's avatar

07/11/26: If Walz pardons himself, deport Walz.

TeaPartyGal's avatar

So much excellent humor; but the statement that stood out most to me was a very sad one in Item 5, that portrayed the absolute sickness of the evil being supported by the Left, in this case in Britain:

"The Moroccan moles also vandalized London, which was a relief to all the children they didn’t defile that night."

Sam Prentice's avatar

A very sick evil has taken over the British Isles. I don't know about Wales because they've always had the good sense to stay insulated from the other members of their island, but Scotland, England, and Ireland (both of them) have all given leave to their formerly sound minds. They are circling the drain.

Shrugged's avatar

Agree and am confused about it. My mom was born in Scotland and came to America at the age of 5 with her parents in 1929. They brought discipline, hard work, and a stern outlook on things, carried forward through my mom to our family. These leftist lunatics would have been scrubbed out by my parents and grandparents.

Retirednottired's avatar

All those like your Mom ended up here. None left in Scotland.

Shrugged's avatar

Yes, I think they had a vision of a new life and sought it here, although, many went to Canada (Ontario) and suffer that socialist mindset.

Sam Prentice's avatar

My Mom's family came here in 1929 also, when she was 8. They came from Northern Ireland in through Boston, and settled in Manchester, CT.

Shrugged's avatar

WOW, I have a good percentage of DNA from Northern Ireland as they intermarried with Scotland across the sea, not so much southern Ireland. I love Northern Ireland and the inner and outer Hebrides islands of Scotland

Sam Prentice's avatar

I loved the Isle of Skye and Fairy Glen.

Don Reed's avatar

07/11/26: Perfectly stated.

Jeremy R's avatar

Some days I wish Trump would send in the Marines to liberate them. Other days I think he should just nuke the entire island.

Damn the torpedoes's avatar

He’s doing a job on their City of London control of the world. Pretty soon, they’ll resemble the Druids again as the Moslem herd drives them from London. Thank you Donald Trump!

Indydoc's avatar

really a sad, satiric, sick situation

BJ54's avatar

A day without Surber is like a day without guffaws!

Stephen Youhanaie's avatar

Surber is nothing more than an angry septuagenarian who needs to jump into the Kanawha River three times and come back up twice. Such a meanie! Ha ha 🤣

Robert Brusca's avatar

Why don't you leave this forum and go read Robert Reich?

Don Reed's avatar

0-7/11/26: Oh, Robert, really!

Stephen Youhanaie's avatar

Totally joking comment. I'm a big fan

Retirednottired's avatar

Not terribly funny....

Jeremy R's avatar

#14. The news was all abuzz reporting that Mitch was brain dead. We've known that for twenty years.

Jeremy R's avatar

#3. They aren't looking for normal that option hasn't been around for twenty years.

Jeremy R's avatar

#17. Great! Now my clock in my truck will be an hour off all year instead of half the year.

Cookie McCall's avatar

Those Congress Critters seem to be under the illusion they're doing very important stuff while ignoring the Save America Act and PDJT. They just find another way to waste time waiting for Trump's time to run out. Plus it must be time for yet another congressional break or some kind of very important junket

Jeremy R's avatar

They won't take breaks for fear of the recess appointment.

Damn the torpedoes's avatar

They’re doing Very Important Things, liking looking into the racist beatings Caitlin Clarke is taking, or discussing permanent daylight savings! A more useless bunch has never existed. Trump should pocket veto every one of their legislative “efforts” until he gets the save act on his desk!

ron's avatar

They take breaks - thune just directs pro forma "sessions" while they're gone, to prevent Trump's making recess appointments.

Joe LaGreca's avatar

I believe it's the 1st time in history that a presidents own party has done this to block him from making recess appointments. Shameful. Thune & his entire leadership team has to go - all RINO's.

NNTX's avatar

I must be one of the few that LIKES daylight savings time.

Hope it doesn’t go.

Jeremy R's avatar

My cows and chickens can't tell the difference.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 2. What about Dick Hurtz, Clair Voiant & Bud Weiser?

Don Reed's avatar

07/11/26: The British Humour Police has notified us (via an Interpol Alert!) that the name is spelt, "Claire Voiant." But they sent a "Letter of Commendation" anyway because your comment was a welcome distraction from their having to solve the murder of Anne Widdecombe -----

https://www.nbcnews.com/world/united-kingdom/uk-rattled-killing-politician-ann-widdecombe-murder-probe-continues-rcna439777 -----

Douglas Baringer's avatar

Item #21. They should rename the airport in Wheeling the Don Surber international Airport and Massage Parlor!

Indydoc's avatar

and have a special parking lot for Bentlys

Don Reed's avatar

07/12/26: Oh, I bet Mrs Surber just LOVED your "massage parlor" idea!

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 9. Sum Ting Wong with Tampon Tim.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 4. The Dems Tea Party will go up in smoke.

TeaPartyGal's avatar

I would call it more of a Pot Party than a Tea Party. And today's cannabis is far more potent than the old pot was, leading to alot worse psychological disturbances.

Cookie McCall's avatar

Those people did a very bad thing when they legalized pot - that seems to be yet another genie that can't be put back in the bottle

Joe LaGreca's avatar

It's this sort of stuff that leads to the decline & eventual death of a civilization.

NNTX's avatar

You read my mind TPG!

Robert Brusca's avatar

Old pot was much better. This stuff stinks and denies you the mild high of old pot.

Robert Brusca's avatar

Oh you mean that kind of tea

Vince Gallo's avatar

BINGO LMAO. 😂😂😂🐣👍

Dindu Nuffin's avatar

Good morning y’all

James Mead's avatar

"She’s just mad because he looks better in heels."

Careful Mr. S, your cat may be in danger. But thank you for the belly laugh.

Robert Brusca's avatar

Say have been OTB, but she was a looker...give her her due.

Jeremy R's avatar

#9. We also need to send Natalie Hudson and Keith Ellison.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 5. The goats in London were also relieved.

Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 3. They should nominate a maple tree. Just make sure nobody carved a swastika into it.