215 Comments
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tzed's avatar

The biggest loser…every New Yorker. Except most of them don’t know it yet. Imagine their surprise when they figure it out.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

The ones who voted for him are too STOOPID to figure out what is happening as it occurs.

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Shrugged's avatar

I hope someone keeps an accurate tally - with interviews as evidence - of how many people and businesses leave (run like hell) from the state since we all know those left in the City can't afford to fund the promises of Mamdani.

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Mike r Croft's avatar

Like checking into the Hotel California.

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Lawsy0's avatar

That reminds me: Did Item 25 finally solve the mystery of who owned the cocaine in the White House locker back when Jill/Joe were co-presidents with Hunter?

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Mike r Croft's avatar

The Bidens will go down in infamy!

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

I understand the owner of the cocaine was IDed but Cheatle told agents to forget it happened.

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Mike r Croft's avatar

She is a picture of DC bureaucrats. A special gal! LOL

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Gail W's avatar

Can’t believe no one beat me to this reply:

FAFO!!

😂😂😂

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Shoveltusker's avatar

ITEM 15: Michelle Obama said, “I showed that you can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and a black woman.”

Well, one out of four ain't bad.

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Robert Rivera's avatar

I would say 0 for 4. That’s just my opinion. That’s a man baby!

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Roaring Chicken's avatar

Nice! You can break it down to 5 things - Big Mike is black.

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James Mead's avatar

Well it isn't female

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Robert Rivera's avatar

For sure James.

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Shrugged's avatar

That pesky bulge down her left leg that she can never quite smooth out is such an inconvenience . . .

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Robert Rivera's avatar

lol

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PatriciaFairbank's avatar

More testosterone than his husband for sure. Compare side by side their biceps, shoulders…and oh, I don’t know if I’d go there but he needs to stop wearing clingy polyester. Anna Wintour should retire in shame for those Vogue

First Man covers.

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Robert Brusca's avatar

Ohhh 4 4?? Ohhhh-bama!!

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VICKI's avatar

Isn't that the truth? Anyone who read her best selling book, "Becoming" and could read between the lines had all their thoughts about her verified. She is just an awful person and yet like the NY voters, she is also popular among a certain group of people. Why aren't all the whiners griping about her and hubby making a gazillion dollars as a result of his "first black president" fiasco...oh, right, his white mother and her family raised him and the donor remained somewhere in Kenya...we'll never know the entire story.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

She be like Gel Newscum, liar of the highest level.

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Lawsy0's avatar

A Little Dab'll Do Ya!

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Don Reed's avatar

11/08/25: Even if by some fantastic chance all of the above could possibly be true, Big Mike is a dolt for having said this about herself, instead of having others say it for her (apparently, she couldn't find anyone else).

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James Mead's avatar

Which one?

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Shoveltusker's avatar

Smart? IDK. Read her typo-riddled, very sub-par masters thesis.

Beautiful? Well, not conventionally beautiful by any stretch. Looks mannish.

Sexy? Assertion of a fact not in evidence. "Sexy" is like Donna Summer.

Black woman: I'll take her word for it. She does have children.

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Retirednottired's avatar

She raised somebody’s children.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

IT raised someones children.

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PatriciaFairbank's avatar

Wonder if the kids will ever be curious enough to have their ancestry done through DNA? Doubtful since they are being royally funded but reportedly no longer speak to their adoptive parents.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

That does seem a bit odd no ??

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Jerry from Chicago's avatar

She forgot humble!

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Eric Ivers's avatar

If she had left out the "wo" part, it would be closer to accurate.

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Skinnydip's avatar

"No Juan is above the law." Groan.

“You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.” Double groan.

I'm almost afraid to continue reading. Besides, I'm laughing too hard to read. Thanks for a great start to my morning!

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Shrugged's avatar

Same reaction, but kudos to Don's ability to make a joke out of anything. It is a good defense in his line of work writing about politics.

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Jake's avatar

We needed the laughs too. Been a depressing week for the country.

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AZCACTUSPETE's avatar

Not depressing for me. I live in a highly conservative area 2000 miles away from all the nonsense on the east coast.

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donald b welch's avatar

you're the smart one. care to divulge where?

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AZCACTUSPETE's avatar

Prescott, Arizona.

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donald b welch's avatar

i'll be right down.

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The Outsider's avatar

One of my best friends lives in Prescott, but I am sorry to tell you that he is a raging left winger.

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Don Reed's avatar

11/08/25: "ITEM 29 AP headline said, 'Trump has accused boat crews of being narco-terrorists. The truth, AP found, is more nuanced.' ”

Dear Secretary of War: Please rename the weapons that having been sinking these boats, the "AP Nuance missiles."

("... the Mohawk along with most of the Iroquois tribes were allied with the British..." I too had an unfortunate "Mohawk moment." Brand new in an Army infantry unit with the entire brigade due to be helicoptered up into the Alaska mountains in about four hours on a bi-annual field exercise, I told the barber to "make it a Mo." Ten minutes later, my also brand-new platoon sergeant (talk about making a wonderful first impression) told me to "get rid of it. ALL of it." I looked very funny bald. Probably still do.)

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Lawsy0's avatar

Point of grammar: Is a political joke a Double Negative?

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tj's avatar

Lol Lawsy, I read that as: Is a practical joke a double negative? Then I finally got it as political. Laughed so hard I woke the cat, dog and hubby from a short nap.

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NNTX's avatar

Loving the puns today!

Makes me miss the fathers in my life (my own, father-in-law, dads of friends).

The joy of the groan :)

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Lawsy0's avatar

My son, a grandfather of one (so far) has started stockpiling Dad Jokes for when it's his turn to babysit my great-grand!

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tj's avatar

What did a snail riding on a turtle's back say? Wheeee

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NNTX's avatar

Forward planning s always wise!

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Lawsy0's avatar

That makes a bunch of us!

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Shoveltusker's avatar

ITEM 19: ABC reported, “Lauren Boebert’s racially charged Halloween costume sparks backlash. Boebert dressed as a Mexican woman and her boyfriend as an ICE agent.”

When did Mexicans become a "race"?

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Flier's avatar

Good point, shoveltusker. In fact it's worse than that -- take a look at official forms. My hospital asked me if I was white, then Latino? It must be really confusing to people filling out the form. And for what? Why does my hospital need that information?

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Joseph Kaplan's avatar

Don’t answer. They can’t force you

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Flier's avatar

I haven't answered that question in years.

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steph_gray's avatar

Me either.

And the last time I did, I wrote “human.”

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Joe LaGreca's avatar

My form doesn't even list white or Caucasian, but they do have Non-Hispanic

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PatriciaFairbank's avatar

I’m tempted to mark ‘other’.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Write in American so they can ask you to do it over as I did two times and that was the end of it.

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Lawsy0's avatar

That could be because America has forgotten her God-fearing Caucasian founders. Thanks, Louis XIV.

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Jeremy R's avatar

Every time an ICE van pulls into the Home Depot parking lot they race for the woods.

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Robert Brusca's avatar

Ask Ben Afflec??? Mexican...Puerto Rican....

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Don Reed's avatar

11/08/25: Anytime where when a panicked voice is heard, "RUN FOR THE HILLS, IT'S ICE!"

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James Mead's avatar

The fireplace going.

The youngest pup on my lap

Looking at the first snow of the year.

Reading the weekly roundup with a cup of coffee.

Life is good

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Jake's avatar

right there with you. Great day for golf too.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

You’re a better man than me. My dog ignores me and even my Teddy Bear won’t come near me. Is it something I said? lol. 😂

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William Coulter's avatar

Item 4

How in the world can a company sell a car that might have a problem with the wheels falling off?

This is not rocket science about how to attach a wheel to a car.

We have duct tape dummies!

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Tmitsss's avatar

UPS has grounded its fleet of MD-11's, the type of plane in Louisville crash because of loose engines

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David Thompson's avatar

"You picked a fine time to leave me, loose engine" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

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Tmitsss's avatar

**9%**

UPS Airlines operates approximately 27 MD-11 aircraft out of a total fleet of around 300 aircraft, making MD-11s about 9% of the fleet. This figure comes directly from UPS's official statement and is confirmed by multiple news reports from November 2025.

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William Coulter's avatar

I wonder if whoever services their planes attached the wing engines the same way as that Chicago flight years ago that had the engine fall off and kill all those people. They were using a forklift that wasn’t the proper technique.

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Brian LeMay's avatar

Wonder how old they are ?

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Roy Weintraub's avatar

A Parody of a Roger Miller song: "Engine, engine number two, going down after the takeoff too."

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tj's avatar

I am glad they grounded them until they can verify maintenance. That engine was on fire from 20-30 ft in the air. At first I thought it was a bird strike but there were no birds. Then I saw a video later that showed no engine in addition to the wing being on fire.

I pray for the families of all involved but especially the crew. They had no recourse but enough time to know they were gone.

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Don Reed's avatar

11/08/25: Flying a 34-year old jet that's been sidelined for serious defects than returned to service is sheer criminal corporate behavior.

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Tmitsss's avatar

The FAA has grounded all MD11 air freighters

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

We farm boys used baling wire before duct tape hit the market.

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Lawsy0's avatar

That's a sweet reminder. My very first boyfriend's nickname was "Bailing Wire." He was a farm boy who also worked at a gas station.

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Robert Rivera's avatar

lol

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Brian LeMay's avatar

If the general populace takes a hard look at front wheel drive vehicles hub retention, they might never drive another .

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Cookie McCall's avatar

Wonderful response WC!

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 17. Jeffrey Dahmer had his mother over for dinner. She said son I don’t like your neighbors.

He said that’s ok. Just eat the vegetables.

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Amy's avatar

Ewww…! And 🤣

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Everette Burk's avatar

Groan

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joated's avatar

I would have chosen New Yorker in the poll, but they got what they voted for.

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Jeremy R's avatar

Gooder and harder.

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Richard Higgins's avatar

Don, the jokes were even better than usual this morning. Just remember, day drinking is really bad at our age …

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Jake's avatar

I'm trying to prove that day drinking is bad rumor or myth. Wish me luck.

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Richard Higgins's avatar

If successful, your contribution to society will immeasurable. Good luck in your endeavor.

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Lawsy0's avatar

Just tell me when and where to pull that leaver!

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BJ54's avatar

I bet if you asked for volunteers to assist you'd get plenty!

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Steve (recovering lawyer)'s avatar

Michelle Obama said, “I showed that you can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and a black woman.”

True, but just not at the same time.

Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Jeremy R's avatar

I don't think Colbert has ever been any of those. Ain't been funny either.

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 2. What? Beach umbrellas don’t count as housing??

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Shoveltusker's avatar

ITEM 21: Red State reported, “Nancy Pelosi Confirms Retirement: Woman Who Made Millions in Congress Is Finally Leaving It.” She said she wants to spend more time with her family.

Her husband Paul not hardest hit, because with Nancy at home all the time he won't be inviting hammer-wielding tighty-whitey-clad male prostitutes over for a hookup anymore.

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Brian LeMay's avatar

🤢 mind bleach please .

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Vince Gallo's avatar

I heard Goldman Sachs offered Nancy a job as an inside traitor.

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Are they going to lock/stock her office with whiskey or ice cream??

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Don Reed's avatar

11/08/25: How do you know that they aren't ordered for her?

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Vince Gallo's avatar

Item 1. So the Navy can feed the fish with drug runners.

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Jim Murray's avatar

#1. The best part of the week? People on the right telling main stream media people to shove it. To their faces. See Trump's "60 Minutes" dismantling of false premises. #5. A hint of sanity from Minnesota voters? It's a false flag. #7. The MSM assures me that Biden supporting blue states electing more Democrats means Trump's administration is a failure. #18. The groper was allowed to approach the Mexican President after being mistaken for a cartel courier arriving with another payoff. #23. Sydney Sweeney is so cute when she says, "Shove it." The Wrap: Trump 47 received his 24th favorable ruling from SCOTUS this week. With a few lower appellate court wins, he is scoring roughly 2 wins a week. Fun fact: At this rate, he will have 416 wins in 4 years. That will place him at #55 on the MLB All Time Home Runs list. Better yet, we will still have a Constitutional Republic.

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tj's avatar

A synopsis of the synopsis. Thank you!

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Marlan Hoerer's avatar

Great post J.M. .

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Jim Murray's avatar

Thanks. I love target rich environments!

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James Wills's avatar

re: Big Mike as a "smart, beautiful, sexy, and a black woman.” One out of five. Black she definitely is.

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Jim Nelson's avatar

Don should get a Pulitzer for humor writing. The line "You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel" was brilliant. I really laughed hard until I realized that I drive a Honda. I have always liked Sydney Sweeney for her physical attributes, but I am even more impressed by the way she handled that GQ Karen with the attempted 'gotcha' question about white superiority. Your round-up highlighted the continuing number of Dem officials who turn out to be corrupt and/or perverts. The biggest one of all, of course, is Nancy Pelosi.

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