HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NEWS

ITEM 1: X News reported, “Viral Chart Shows Rise in Couples Meeting Online from 1930 to 2024.”

Kinda hard to meet online during the Great Depression because no one could afford AOL.

ITEM 2: How’d that boycott of Disney World work out for Canadian snowbirds?

Answer: Drug cartels held a gang war this week in Puerto Vallarta, a Mexican vacation spot. The Elbows Up government in Ottawa closed its consulate and told Canadian tourists to shelter in place.

ITEM 3: The Kansas City Star tweeted, “Kansas is unsafe for trans people. Is it time to flee? Experts weigh in.”

Yes, 40 other states want to know how Kansas succeeded in getting them to leave.

ITEM 4: Oliver Darcy reported, “With David Ellison poised to take control of Warner Bros. Discovery, a chill has settled over CNN as staffers fear for the future. ‘The panic at CNN right now is off the charts,’ an insider tells Status.”

The staff at CNN worries that they’ll have to report news instead of presenting Scott Jennings on endless hours of panels talking about the news.

Just who do they think they are? Me?

ITEM 5: Margaret Brennan tweeted, “Iran has agreed to give up its stockpile of enriched material—zero accumulation—and allow for full verification by the IAEA of its nuclear program according to US-Iran talks mediator, Oman’s foreign minister Badr al Busaidi.”

I really DO care, Margaret.

ITEM 6: Your favorite president on Ted Cruz, “I’m thinking about putting him in the Supreme Court! He’s the only guy I’d know who’d get 100% of Democrats AND Republicans—they want to get him out of there, he’s such a pain in the ass, but he’s so talented!”

Unlike Rand Paul who has no talent.

ITEM 7: The House Rules Committee tweeted, “The Biden DOE rules for dryers increased costs but could take up to 46 YEARS to yield efficiency benefits.”

The Maytag repairman got so lonely that Biden helped him out.

ITEM 8: AP reported, “Hong Kong protests after Panama takes control of 2 key ports on the Panama Canal.”

Jimmy Carter said the canal belongs to Panama. Now the Panama Supreme Court agrees.

ITEM 9: MSN reported, “Washington Post losses topped $100 million in 2025.”

Maybe the reporters who demand Jeff Bezos just absorb the losses should work for free to keep the paper going.

ITEM 10: NBC reported, “Bill Clinton tells lawmakers in closed-door testimony that he ‘saw nothing’ and ‘did nothing wrong’ related to Jeffrey Epstein.”

“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.”

ITEM 11: Congressman Robert Garcia said, “We are now asking and demanding that President Trump officially come in and testify in front of the Oversight Committee. He appears in the Epstein Files next to Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell almost more than anybody else.”

Democrats never learn, do they?

They cannot even spell learn.

ITEM 12: Nick Sorter tweeted, “Secretary Noem just revealed Elon Musk helped find that a few DHS staffers installed SPYWARE on her phone and computer, as well as on the devices of of other political hires.”

Just who do they think they are? The FBI?

ITEM 13: CBS reported, “A Columbia University student was detained and later released by federal agents on Thursday. Her detention sparked a peaceful protest at the university and condemnation from politicians.”

DHS said her student visa was revoked in 2016 “for failing to attend classes.”

She’s still in college 10 years later? Trump’s right. They ain’t sending the best.

ITEM 14: Clay Travis tweeted, “Joe Biden’s FBI spying on Donald Trump’s campaign manager, Susie Wiles—and even listening to her phone calls with her lawyer!—makes Watergate look like jaywalking.”

Obama having the FBI spy on Trump made WilesGate look like Jimmie JJ Walker. Dyn-O-Mite.

ITEM 15: Libs of Tik Tok tweeted, “Zohran Mamdani and AOC just put out a video promoting FREE DAYCARE for illegal aliens completely in Spanish. Democrats are taking Americans’ money and spending it on foreign invaders.”

When does Mamdani give the Swahili version of the promotion?

ITEM 16: Kevin Dalton tweeted, “Jimmy Kimmel slams President Trump’s State of the Union address in a monologue he recorded hours before President Trump’s State of the Union address.”

Kimmel recycled last year’s reaction.

ITEM 17: RNC Research tweeted:

Democrat Rep. Robin Kelly laughs at and mocks American veterans who received the Medal of Honor during President Trump’s SOTU speech.

KELLY: “It was like an award show, you get a medal! You get a medal! You get a medal!”

Congratulations, Mark Kelly. You no longer are the worst Kelly in Congress.

ITEM 18: Just the News reported, “Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis coordinated extensively with the Biden Justice Department and White House as well as Democrats on the House Jan. 6 investigative committee as she built a failed criminal case against President Donald Trump and his allies related to their challenge to Georgia’s 2020 election results, according to a trove of internal communications obtained by Just the News.”

The Fat Lady hasn’t sung on the Lawfare Scandal, but she is sweating so hard, she may lose 100 pounds by Easter.

ITEM 19: Visegrád 24 tweeted, “Norway’s former Prime Minister and ex-chairman of the Norwegian Nobel Committee Thorbjørn Jagland has reportedly been hospitalized after a suicide attempt.

“The Norwegian police recently launched an investigation against him in connection with the Epstein Files.”

When not on Epstein Island, Jagland was busy handing out Nobel Peace Prizes to commies like Barack Hussein Obama.

ITEM 20: International Business Times reported, “Juan Carlos Valencia González, a U.S. citizen, rises as CJNG’s new leader, reshaping Mexico’s cartel power dynamics.”

Finally, an American is doing a job Mexicans won’t do.

ITEM 21: Andy Ngo tweeted, “Laurence des Cars, the lauded first female president of the Louvre museum, has resigned three months after priceless Crown Jewels were stolen during daytime business hours by a robbery crew who used a ladder to enter the museum.”

It was a job to DEI for.

ITEM 22: Mike Coté tweeted, “The USA women’s team was the clear favorite the whole tournament. The USA men’s team wasn’t even really expected to medal.”

The men accepted the invitation to the White House. The women declined. The sexist media made the women heroes and the men villains.

ITEM 23: Ari Meiro tweeted, “Bears GM Ryan Poles says the NFL’s rule awarding two 3rd-round picks if a minority coach or executive leaves to become a GM or HC is a strange rule: ‘At the end of the day, you should want to develop your staff regardless of the color of their skin.’”

We shall overcome became they shall overcompensate.

ITEM 24: CBS tweeted, “In his 2026 State of the Union, President Trump said, Last year, the murder rate saw its single largest decline in recorded history. This is the biggest decline, think of it in recorded history, the lowest number in over 125 years.’ A CBS News fact-check has determined that is true.”

Pardon me but Bari Weiss broke CBS News because fact-checks are only used to call Donald Trump a liar.

ITEM 25: Video released this week showed Vince McMahon wrecking his 12-cylinder Bentley into a guardrail and another car at 115 MPH last July.

He and the driver of the other car were unhurt.

My mean, old wife was unmoved. Still no Bentley. She doesn’t care about my safety, does she?

ITEM 26: Ajit Pai tweeted, “In 2023, prominent appellate litigator and SCOTUSblog 'founder Tom Goldstein abruptly quit his practice, blaming the Supreme Court: ‘in the important civil rights and social cases, the court’s conservative super-majority makes it very difficult for the little guy to win.’

“Today, a federal jury in Maryland convicted him of a dozen tax and financial crimes ‘tied to his side career as a high-stakes poker player,’ including illegally concealing tens of millions of dollars in winnings.”

Looks like Goldstein made “it very difficult for the little guy to win,” too.

ITEM 27: A lawyer making millions off high stakes poker makes sense because what’s the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

None. They both screw you and take your money.

ITEM 28: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “President Trump just revealed the GREATEST Secretary of State Marco Rubio is dealing with Cuba, there could be a friendly takeover.”

At 12, he wrote that someday he would become president of Cuba.

Rubio wrote that, not Trump.